Random News: May 20, 2022

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

---

Good morning. It’s May 20, 2022, and if you can believe it, it’s a Friday once again! Sorta news stuff and various randomness…

• Remember when I told you about the Republicans voting against baby formula yesterday (and thankfully losing)? I forgot to mention that in response to the price gouging by big oil companies, the House voted on the Consumer Fuel Price Gouging Prevention Act. It passed, with a score of 217-207… with every GOP member voting to keep your gas prices as high as possible. I don't think this will work out like they hope it will.
• While things had already been spiraling into the abyss for poor Elon Musk, it was revealed that his company SpaceX paid a flight attendant $250,000 to keep quiet after Elon a) showed her his penis and b) offered to buy her a horse in exchange for a hand job.


• The January 6 committee now has Lauren Boebert’s phone records.


• Monkeypox. Don’t want it? Wear a mask while indoors in public, and don’t exchange bodily fluids with strangers.
• From our sports desk: the Celtics stomped the Heat, tying their NBA eastern conference series at 1-1. In the NHL, the Tampa Bay Lightning, who’ve won the Stanley Cup championship for the past two year, may be on their way to a threepeat, currently up 2-0 over the Florida Panthers. 
• Today in history… 1861: North Carolina secedes from the Union. 1873: Levi Strauss and Jacob Davis get a patent for using copper rivets in blue jeans. 1940: the first prisoners arrive at Auschwitz. 1983: the first publication of the discovery of the HIV virus.
• In random news, it’s the 63rd birthday of Jane Wiedlin of The Go Go’s. I thought she was cute back in 1982. She probably still is.
• We are going to make sure that women in states that will be soon banning abortion have a means of getting to other states where safe and legal abortion is accessible to them. This is already well underway.

Okey dokey, you silly willies. I have so much work to do that it makes me physically ill to think about, so instead of thinking about it, I’m just going to do it, and the point will be moot. Enjoy your Friday and your weekend. Do the good things.