Random News: May 29, 2022

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s May 29, 2022, and it’s a Sunday. Various thoughts from a guy in a bathrobe…

• Peet’s Aged Sumatra is never a bad coffee choice. Never ever. The flavor profile is dried fruit, tropical wood, and warm spice. I know that sounds like some bougie shit, but it’s still just a solid dark roast coffee that’s pretty much magic in your mouth.
• Why do I need to receive specific training and then be forced to pass a written test and a performance test and a health screening for licensing, and then have to continually purchase liability insurance and register my vehicle just to drive a car? STOP TAKING AWAY MY FREEDOM! WHY CAN’T CARS BE FULL OF FREEDOM LIKE GUNS?
• While we’re on the topic, Americans own 393 million guns. We only have 276 million vehicles. Side note: we have 329 million people meaning… you guessed it, we have more than one gun for every single person in this idealistically awesome but quite often actually shithole country.
• Remember that shooting rampage massacre at a supermarket in Buffalo? Yeah, that was two weeks ago.
• If you want to get away from all the crazy shit, the post office at Port Lockroy, Antarctica is hiring. You have to share a single bedroom with other staffers, and there’s no flushing toilet, running water, or showers, and there’s no Internet. And you have to count penguins as part of your job duties. And it’s fucking cold. I’m 100% serious about all the above. Still… tempting.
• Bunch of people got shot up in downtown Chattanooga, TN last night. No one gives a shit and it barely made the news.
• Also something people have lost interest in: Ukraine’s citizens being raped and murdered by Russia soldiers.
• I was supposed to be having an omelette from Creme de la Crepe that includes bacon, Swiss cheese, grilled onions and mushrooms. But they canceled our order, which sometimes happens in this life, so now instead I’m awaiting the quiche du jour from Yellow Vase, in case you ever feel like I don’t lead the most pampered and lucky possible existence.
• Apple is going to be announcing iOS16 soon. I no longer feel any level of excitement about software updates of any kind on any platform of anything.
• From the sports desk: congrats to Real Madrid on winning the UEFA Champions League, beating Liverpool 1-0.
• Side note: Despite having played four years of AYSO soccer as a kid, I can’t seem to have any level of interest in what’s claimed to be the world’s most popular sport.
• “These shootings are a result of mental illness!” “Okay, let’s put real money into easily accessible and free mental illness treatment.” “No!”
• Top 20 fruits sold in the USA in order of popularity: bananas, strawberries, grapes, apples, watermelon, oranges, blueberries, lemons, peaches, avocados, pineapple, cherries, cantaloupe, raspberries, pears, limes, blackberries, clementine, mangoes, plums. I’m shocked that more of you don’t buy pears. Pears are fucking delicious.
• Still in my bathrobe at 10:39am.
• Today in history… 1660: The English Restoration puts Charles II back on the throne. 1790: Rhode Island finally ratifies the Constitution and becomes the last of the USA’s original colonies to get statehood. 1886: Pharmacist John Pemberton places an ad in the Atlanta Journal for his concoction he calls Coca-Cola. 1953: Edmund Hillary and his sherpa bro Tenzing Norgay reach the top of Mount Everest. 1999: Space Shuttle Discovery does the first docking at the International Space Station.
• May 29 is the birthday of entertainer Bob Hope (1903), President John F. Kennedy (1917), singer LaToya Jackson (1956), musician/activist Melissa Etheridge (1961), Spice Girl Mel B (1975), and basketball player Carmelo Anthony (1984).

I’m going to eat breakfast and enjoy my day today. Eventually I’ll get dressed. You do what you do and try to make life better for other people and animals and plants and things.