Random News: July 29, 2022

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

---

Good morning. It’s July 29, 2022, and if you can believe it, it’s a Friday once again! Here are some dribs and drabs…

• Former President Donald J. Trump, while hosting a tournament by the Saudi-run LIV golf league at his his golf club in Bedminster, NJ, had this brilliant statement…
• “Nobody’s gotten to the bottom of 9/11, unfortunately. They should have, as to the maniacs that did that horrible thing, to our city, to our country, to the world. So nobody’s really been there. But I can tell you that there are a lot of really great people that are out here today. And we’re going to have a lot of fun and we’re going to celebrate.”
• IT WAS DONE BY SAUDI TERRORISTS, you dumb bloated nincompoop.
• Jesus. Anyway…
• That guy is still trying to win the 2020 election, some 20 months after the fact. He was told yesterday that Wisconsin cannot “decertify” Biden’s victory in that state no matter how much he begs them to. Their Supreme Court found Trump’s request to do so "unreasonable in the extreme" and was filed too late.
• Real men accept a loss.
• My thoughts to anyone affected by the flooding in Eastern Kentucky. It turns out that I do know someone who lost a house in that disaster, and I wish them well.
• If you wanted to make a lot of money over the past decade, you should have made guns and convinced men with tiny little penises that guns will substitute for their actual manhood. AR-15 rifle sales topped $1 billion in ten years.
• In other business news, Jet Blue has agreed to buy Spirit Airlines for $3.8 billion. Now you can have even less choices in really shitty air travel experiences. Biden’s Justice Department needs to approve the deal, and they might not, because lack of competition always hurts the consumer.
• Ukraine is still holding up against the onslaught of Russian attacks. They have some successful counter-offensives going in places like Kherson. Slava Ukraini!
• The GOP reversed course and decided to not help veterans suffering from the effects of burn pits. These people, who fought for our country and now face terminal cancer from exposure to toxic fumes in these burn pits, are on their own due to 25 Republican Senators.
• "This is an embarrassment to the Senate, to the country, to the founders and all that they profess to hold dear. And if this is America first, then America is fucked.” - Jon Stewart, veterans advocate.
• Sigh, Back to happy news.
• Oh hey… ya know my favorite teenager Olivia Julianna, who was fat-shamed by Matt Gaetz? Her safe abortion fund surpassed ONE MILLION DOLLARS yesterday afternoon in less than 72 hours. It’s at $1.4 million this morning. As a result, Matt Gaetz has done more to help safe abortion than just about anyone, so let’s hope he keeps insulting women across the USA, especially teenagers, for similar results.
• Andrew Yang, who failed in his bid to run for President and then failed in his bid to be the mayor of New York, is now announcing a new third political party to go up against Democrats and Republicans in 2024. Even if you learned nothing from Ralph Nader and Jill Stein, do not get on board with this bullshit.
• QotD: “Revenge by young men is considered gain, even at the cost of their own lives, but old men who stay at home in times of war, and mothers who have sons to lose, know better.” - Chief Seattle
• Today in history… Neo-Babylonians sack Jerusalem (587 BC). Crusaders get their ass beat at the Siege of Damascus (1148). Mary, Queen of Scots marries Henry Stuart (1565). The US Army Judge Advocate General’s Corps is founded (1775). The Arc de Triomphe is inaugurated in Paris (1836). Confederate spy Belle Boyd is arrested (1864). Robert Baden-Powell hosts the first Scout camp (1907). Adolf Hitler is named head of the Nazi Party (1921). The Summer Olympics open in London (1948). The International Atomic Energy Agency is established (1957). The Tonight Show with Jack Paar begins, starting the modern dat talk show (1957). Eisenhower signs the National Aeronautics and Space act, founding NASA (1958). David “Son of Sam” Berkowitz kills his first victim (1976). 700 million people watch the wedding of Charles and Diana (1981). Astronomer discover the dwarf planet Eris (2005).
• July 29 is the birthday of Japanese nobleman Fujiwara no Norimichi (996), organist Johann Theile (1646), historian/philosopher Alexis de Tocqueville (1805), fascist Benito Mussolini (1883), pregnancy test inventor and gynecologist Bernhard Zondek (1891), businessman J.R.D. Tata (1904), actress Clara Bow (1905), amplifier maker Jim Marshall (1923), wrestler Lou Albano (1933), politician Elizabeth Dole (1936), journalist Peter Jennings (1938), actor David Warner (1941), actor Tony Sirico (1942), REO Speedwagon founder Neal Doughty (1946), filmmaker Ken Burns (1953), the all-time god of progressive rock bass Geddy Lee (1953), singer Martina McBride (1966), actor Will Wheaton (1972), and quarterback Dan Prescott (1993).

Alright! It’s Friday! Let’s do fun things and kick fun ass and work fun hard and be a fun fighter! Not a fighter of fun. A fighter who has fun while defending the world of fun. You know what I mean. Shut up.