Random News: August 28, 2022

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

---

Good morning. It’s August 28, 2022, and it’s a Sunday. Here’s whatever I think is possibly relevant to whatever…

• Filed under the “be careful what you ask for, because you just might get it” folder… the FPOTUS has requested a “special master” to help handle the criminal investigation resulting from his theft of documents and his refusal to return them. 
• The judge that he begged for this privilege seems inclined to grant it. What is a special master?
• It’s just a person appointed by a court to oversee some aspect of a case to help ensure both parties abide by a judge's orders. Often they are former judges.
• Here’s the deal. First, it’s only being used as a delay tactic. Second, once the master is picked, the FPOTUS will throw a fit because somehow, whoever it is, it will be a friend of Obama and Hillary and so on.
• But the reality is that by the letter and spirit of multiple laws, he is a) already guilty and b) has admitted guilt via multiple public statements.
• Therefore, you probably think you’re going to see Mr. Orange in an orange jumpsuit.
• Never gonna happen.
• The very best case scenario is that he gets indicted, there’s a trial, there are many instances of domestic MAGA terrorism throughout that process, and he is found guilty of a variety of very serious federal crimes.
• He won’t go to prison. There will be some arrangement for him to be under some kind of house arrest, and part of the condition of the sentence will not allow him to incite violence via public statements. They may be able to keep him in line with the awareness that his sentence could be made much worse if he chooses to violate the conditions of his punishment agreement.
• But MUCH more likely in my mind is that as soon as this becomes real to him, he flees to another country and continues to stoke violence from his villain’s hideout.
• Anyway, this is all just me talking out of my ass with total speculation, but I do promise you it’s an informed bunch of bullshit. That much I can promise you.
• Moving on.
• I’m done talking about student loans. The hypocrisy of people who got loan forgiveness that’s tens and hundreds of times larger than the $10,000 these folks got is sickening. I refuse to give them any more airtime.
• Here’s a poll, though, about canceling some student loan debt: Approve 54%, Disapprove 46% (YouGov).
• Instead, let’s talk about something that matters: voter registration.
• Take a look at Texas. Prior to the repeal of Roe, new registrants in TX were modeled at +5 GOP. Since then, that has swung to a shocking +10 Dem, a 15 point margin swing. Also in TX, people under 25 comprise 37% of new voter registrations.
• In Pennsylvania, 65% of new voters have registered as Democrats.
• Michigan has had 12,879 new voters registered since the Dobbs decision. Women are out-registering men by 8.1%. Dems are out-registering GOP by 18%.
• The largest gender gap for new voters since Roe’s repeal isn’t in blue states. It’s actually more pronounced in red states where the women there have much more to lose personally.
• Last thing on that. REGISTER TODAY. As the GOP starts panicking more, they will get more and more draconian in making it harder to register.
• They do NOT want you voting.
• Fuck them. Register and vote like a fucking warrior.
• Here’s a little sign. The GOP has canceled about half its ad buys in support of Senate candidate Blake Masters in Arizona, to the tune of about $8 million. Dem Mark Kelly is leading the Trump-backed Masters by 16 points. The GOP is bailing on Masters entirely.
• And now, The Weather: “Sorry (Dispensa)” by Draag.
• Here’s something you may have wondered from time to time: where do I get all this shit I write every day?
• It’s not magic. I look at major news sites like CNN, Fox News, MSNBC, NPR, BBC, WaPo, and news aggregates like Google News.
• I am also very active on Twitter (@zakclaxton, if you wanna) and I follow a whole bunch of politically-focused accounts. I often get info there hours or days before it hits most media.
• And then I write you my analysis of things I read and see. I know how to look at info and put it into understandable packets. That’s, like, my job description, man.
• Today in history… Fatimah, daughter of the Islamic prophet Muhammad, dies (632). Pedro Menéndez de Avilés founds the oldest continuously European-occupied city in the continental United States near St. Augustine, Florida (1565). William Herschel discovers Saturn’s moon Enceladus (1789). The US takes possession of then-unoccupied Midway Atoll (1867). Caleb Bradham's beverage "Brad's Drink" gets a better brand name, being changed to “Pepsi-Cola" (1898). Italy declares war on Germany in WWI (1914). Toyota Motors becomes an independent company spun off from Toyota Industries (1937). Black teenager Emmett Till is brutally murdered in Mississippi, kicking off the civil rights movement (1955). Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. gives his ‘I Have a Dream’ speech (1963). Cops and protestors clash at the Democratic National Convention in Chicago (1968). 
• August 28 is the birthday of writer Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749), Nobel prize-winning doctor George Whipple (1878), conductor Karl Böhm (1894), comic book legend Jack Kirby (1917), actor Donald O’Connor (1925), actress Roxie Roker (1929), baseball manager Lou Piniella (1943), drummer Danny Seraphine (1948), actor Luis Guzmán (1956), actor Billy Boyd (1968), actor Jason Priestley (1969), god of all gods Jack Black (1969), singer LeAnn Rimes (1982), and singer Florence Welch (1986).

Welp, time to end this little word party for now, and to be a productive human in some way. Not sure how yet. Enjoy your day.