Random News: September 2, 2022

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s September 2, 2022, and if you can believe it, it’s a Friday once again! Here’s whatever I’m about to write...

• President Joe Biden addressed the nation last night in a live speech from Philadelphia.
• Remember when all the MAGA folks were calling him “Sleepy Joe”?
• Funny; they don’t seem to be saying that now.
• Biden presented a choice for America. A choice between MAGA extremism versus those who want protect our democracy. A choice between those who want to take away our basic freedoms and those who will defend them.
• The MAGA community, predictably, reacted with extreme fear.
• They are scared to death. The guy who they derided as “Sleepy Joe” has now taken new form as “Dark Brandon”, and he’s done with the fucking malarkey.
• It’s USA versus MAGA time, and the USA is putting an American boot up the ass of these pieces of shit who did their best to destroy our country.
• "MAGA forces are determined to take this country backwards. Backwards to an America where there is no right to choose, no right to privacy, no right to contraception, no right to marry who you love.” - United States President Joe Biden
• Biden also made it clear that a majority of Republicans are NOT the MAGA variety. I’ve said this many times. The MAGA folks stole what was formerly a reasonable party. They took the name and the branding, but actually have little in common with traditional GOP values.
• I’ve also said that bullies rarely stop their sadistic ways until someone hits them in the mouth. Old Joe Biden balled up his fist last night and gave a devastating left hook to the MAGA movement. 
• Their reaction of pure panic afterwards was palpable. MAGA Twitter and the right-wing news went bonkers, crying about everything from the colors of Joe’s background lighting to the fact that he had Marines flanking him, viewing our military as a personal threat to them.
• The same crowd that wore t-shirts that said “Fuck Your Feelings” now have their feelings hurt.
• The same crowd that loves an America that put everything on the line to fight against fascism in the world are now very upset to be called out for their own fascistic actions.
• We have many things to fight for coming into the Midterm elections in November. The rights of women to have autonomy over their own bodies. The rights of people to love who they want. The rights of American families to go to school, church, or the grocery store without being killed by easily-obtainable, overly powerful weapons. The right to affordable medical care and medicines. And the continued fight against climate change that affects everyone on this planet.
• But if we don’t defend democracy, none of that matters. If we give in to people who would mount insurrections when their candidates lose through fair elections, no amount of voting will stop that. That’s why Joe put his foot down. Enough is enough.
• LET’S FUCKING GO.
• Moving on (though I’m enjoying this topic and could keep rolling on it)…
• The legal arguments about the FPOTUS’s request for a special master to oversee his criminal investigation for obstruction and espionage happened yesterday. U.S. District Judge Aileen Cannon said she will make a decision at a later date, with no indication as to when that will be.
• Meet Thomas Webster. He’s a former NYPD cop who swung a flagpole at police before tackling one officer and yanking his gas mask off during the January 6 failed coup attempt was sentenced to 10 years in prison Thursday.

• It’s the longest punishment handed down among the nearly 250 people sentenced so far for their roles in the insurrection. I hope he has plenty of opportunity to reflect on his actions between now and 2032.
• And now, The Weather: “Relax” by Triathalon.
• We’re in the midst of a record heat wave here in the western USA. I’ll remind my fellow Californians to try and use minimal power over the holiday weekend. Usual advice: drink more water, stay in the shade, and use sunscreen. I know these sound like cliches but they really can save your life.
• From the Sports Desk… we’re less than a week away from the first games of the NFL season. I’m going to enjoy the distraction from the daily bullshit. I’m truly looking forward to filling out my Pick ‘Em Pool next week. Best of luck to your team, unless they play the Raiders, in which case very, very bad luck to your team.
• Today in history… Pharaoh Cleopatra VII of Egypt declares her son co-ruler as Ptolemy XV Caesarion — it does’t last long (44 BC). Cicero launches the first of his Philippicae (oratorical attacks) on Mark Antony (44 BC). The Great Fire of London breaks out and burns for three days, destroying 10,000 buildings (1666). The United States Department of the Treasury is founded (1789). Vice President Theodore Roosevelt utters the famous phrase, "Speak softly and carry a big stick.” (1901). Arthur Rose Eldred becomes first Eagle Scout of the Boy Scouts of America (1912). Japan signs their official surrender in WWII aboard the battleship USS Missouri in Tokyo Bay (1945). Google launches its Google Chrome web browser (2008). 
• September 2 is the birthday of pianist Horace Silver (1928), Snapple founder Arnold Greenberg (1932), sports executive Peter Ueberroth (1937), amazing singer and keyboard player Billy Preston (1946), quarterback Terry Bradshaw (1948), teacher/astronaut Christa McAuliffe (1948), actor Mark Harmon (1951), tennis player Jimmy Connors (1952), skateboarder Tony Alva (1957), keyboardist Steve Porcaro (1957), running back Eric Dickerson (1960), actor and good person Keanu Reeves (1964), and actress Salma Hayek (1966).

It’s Friday, you crazy kids. Friday. Friday, and the Friday before a three-day weekend for many of us. That means I’ll be deluged with work today, but it also means I’ll have sushi for lunch, and that at some point (the earlier the better) my phone calls and emails will kind of trail off and I’ll be in a blissful state of Zen-like nothingness. Enjoy your day.