Random News: December 13, 2022

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s December 13, 2022, and it’s a Tuesday. Forthcoming are words that I wrote for reasons that are unclear…

• Hooooooo boy. Mark Meadows.
• The White House Chief of Staff under Trump turned over 2,319 texts to the House select committee investigating the Jan. 6 failed coup attempt in order to save his own ass. 
• In them, 364 messages from 34 Republican members of Congress are among the evidence. They texted with him about January 6, the fake electors, and declaring martial law (or as some of their uneducated asses put it, ”Marshall Law”).
• Holy fuck. Well, we definitely avoided a complete coup by even less margin than we thought. And a whole bunch of people, may of whom are still in office, will need to answer for their roles per this evidence. I’ll leave it at that for now.
• Meanwhile, special counsel Jack Smith has subpoenaed Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger as part of the DOJ’s investigation into the former president’s efforts to overturn the 2020 election and the US Capitol attack on January 6, 2021.
• Interesting!
• Smith has already pulled a bunch of Trump’s associates into a grand jury in D.C., two former White House lawyers, three close aides, and his former speechwriter Stephen Miller.
• Big Jack has also issued a bunch of of subpoenas, including to election officials in battleground states where Trump tried to overturn his loss in 2020.
• Stay tuned.
• Last note on that guy: per a new poll of GOP voters, just 31% want the former president to run for the office again. With his public support cratering, his political support will tank as well. It’s not going to be a good time to be him on many, many fronts.
• As Fox News mentioned, possibly while masturbating furiously, a large group of immigrants crossed the border into the United States over the weekend. About 2,400 people were encountered by Customs and Border Protection. 
• If you’re worried about being replaced in your job by an immigrant, maybe try being better at your job.
• If you’re scared of people whose first language is not English, try learning another language and then having a conversation with them.
• If those things don’t appeal to you, then I don’t know what to tell ya. Hasta la vista, I guess.
• Sam Bankman-Fried, the founder of failed crypto exchange FTX, was arrested in the Bahamas yesterday. US prosecutors filed criminal charges against him, and the Bahamas and the United States have had an extradition treaty in place for over 100 years.
• That’s going to be super ugly. His arrest is the first concrete move by regulators to hold individuals accountable for the multi-billion dollar implosion of FTX last month.
• I’m sorry to those who feel otherwise, but shit like this was 100% bound to happen in the unregulated cryptocurrency world, and it won’t be the last time some overconfident kid causes susceptible people to lose their life savings.
• Bankman-Fried might be facing wire or bank fraud charges that could get him life in prison without the possibility of parole, much like Bernie Madoff and his Ponzi scheme.
• Moving on…
• A second seditious conspiracy trial for members of the far-right group Oath Keepers began yesterday. Roberto Minuta, Joseph Hackett, David Moerschel and Edward Vallejo are being charged similarly.
• Moerschel’s defense attorney said that his client had a “steady diet from outlets like Newsmax and Fox News” that “tell you to be afraid.”
• So you can literally now use having watched Fox News as a criminal defense strategy. Good to know.
• Elmo Muck, the guy who owners Twitter, SpaceX and Tesla, appeared onstage at Dave Chappelle’s comedy show in San Francisco on Sunday night.
• He came out and got his ass booed off the stage. Not sure what he was expecting. They booed him for 10 straight minutes. I don’t think he has any concept of how deeply he is detested by most folks.
• And now, The Weather: “Love Is Yours” by Flasher
• Speaking of weather, there’s a nationwide winter storm underway, bringing everything from blizzards to downpours to tornadoes. It’s 42 degrees here at the beach this morning, which is chilly for here. I know it’s not cold for you. It is for me. Be nice.
• Also, I hope you’re not flying anywhere today, because even if you are, you’re probably not.
• Not that I care about such things, but as of yesterday, Elmo is no longer the world’s wealthiest person, according to Forbes.
• The stock price of Tesla tanked so hard after his recent shenanigans that LVMH CEO Bernard Arnault knocked him from the vaunted top spot. Arnaud runs the world’s largest luxury conglomerate, which includes brands like Louis Vuitton, Tiffany, Tag Heuer, and Celine.
• Fancy!
• In November’s election, we Californians voted to ban flavored tobacco products that are obviously aimed at getting kids hooked early.
• R.J. Reynolds and other tobacco corporations sued, asking that the justices consider whether California had the authority to instate the ban.
• Yesterday, the SCOTUS denied their request to block the ban. No dissents from any other justices were noted.
• From the Sports Desk… believe it or not, here at week 14 of the NFL season, only three teams have been mathematically eliminated from the playoffs: the Houston Texans (1-11), the Denver Broncos (3-10), and the Chicago Bears (3-10). Everyone else is in some degree of contention, though that will change after this coming weekend.
• Speaking of the Broncos, it’s just sad to see injury added to insult with Russell Wilson nearly getting his head knocked off in Sunday’s valiant loss to the Chiefs on Sunday. Wilson is under concussion protocol and it’s likely he will miss some games. He’d already been having a terrible season with the team, and he has a guaranteed contract that means they’re stuck with him for a long, long time.
• I thought I’d also mention that Dr. Anthony Fauci is a hero. If you think otherwise, go drink your pee or your bleach or your horse dewormer and keep your shit-ass opinon to yourself.
• Today in history… Saint Celestine V resigns the papacy after only five months to return to his previous life as an ascetic hermit (1294). Sir Francis Drake sets sail from Plymouth, England, on his round-the-world voyage (1577). The Plymouth Colony establishes the system of trial by 12-men jury in the American colonies (1623). The Massachusetts Bay Colony organizes three militia regiments to defend the colony against the Pequot Indians, a date now considered the founding of the National Guard of the United States (1636). Dartmouth College is founded by the Reverend Eleazar Wheelock (1769). The start of the Nanking Massacre, in which Japanese troops rape and slaughter hundreds of thousands of Chinese civilians (1937). The Knesset votes to move the capital of Israel from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem (1949). While Emperor Haile Selassie of Ethiopia visits Brazil, his Imperial Bodyguard seizes the capital and proclaims him deposed and his son, Crown Prince Asfa Wossen, Emperor (1960). PLO Chairman Yasser Arafat gives a speech at a UN General Assembly meeting in Geneva, Switzerland, after United States authorities refused to grant him a visa to visit UN headquarters in New York (1988). Former Iraqi President Saddam Hussein is captured near his home town of Tikrit (2003). 
• December 13 is the birthday of nurse Ana Néri (1814), engineer/businessman Werner von Siemens (1816), first lady Mary Todd Lincoln (1818), journalist Drew Pearson (1897), activist Ella Baker (1903), geologist/physicist Elizabeth Alexander (1908), politician George P. Shultz (1920), actor Dick Van Dyke (1925), actor Christopher Plummer (1929), guitarist Jeff Baxter (1948), actor Steve Buscemi (1957), musician Morris Day (1957), NFL player Richard Dent (1960), actor Jamie Foxx (1967), singer Amy Lee (1981), and singer-songwriter Taylor Swift (1989).

I believe I have a typical Tuesday ahead. So hard to know for sure. Every day seems like it’s going to be a normal day until something happens and then it’s not. If it remains normal, I’ll be doing some work and having some meetings, and then doing grocery shopping in the afternoon, and then more work, and so on. You know, normalcy is like beauty; it’s purely subjective. What’s normal for me might be chaotic for you. Freud said, “Every normal person, in fact, is only normal on the average. His ego approximates to that of the psychotic in some part or other and to a greater or lesser extent.” Enjoy your day.