Random News: January 6, 2023

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s January 6, 2023, and if you can believe it, it’s a Friday once again! Today is a special day that we Americans shall never forget, so let’s talk about that and other things…

• It’s January 6. Two years ago on this very day, a mob of people attempted a violent coup against the United States of America.
• They failed. America still stands. Democracy is still in place.
• A refresher…
• The mob was seeking to keep Trump in power by preventing a joint session of Congress from counting the electoral college votes to formalize the victory of President-elect Joe Biden. 
• Per the House Committee report, the attack on the USA was the culmination of a seven-part plan by the losing candidate Donald Trump to overturn the election.
• Five people died either shortly before, during, or following the event: one insurrectionist was shot by Capitol Police, another died of a drug overdose, and three died of natural causes.
• A large number of the insurrectionist mob were injured, as were 138 police officers. Four officers who responded to the attack killed themselves within seven months.
• Monetary damages caused by attackers exceed $2.7 million.
• More than 2,000 rioters entered the building, many of whom occupied, vandalized, and looted the grounds of our Capitol.
• After the area was cleared of insurrectionists, the counting of the electoral votes resumed and was completed in the early morning hours of January 7.
• A significant number of the insurrectionists were linked to extremist groups or conspiratorial movements.
• By December 2022, 465 individuals charged had pleaded guilty. There are still, two years later, ongoing investigations to find every single person who attacked the USA on that day to hold them accountable for their actions.
• January 6, 2021 was the most severe assault on the US Capitol building since the 1814 burning of Washington by the British Army during the War of 1812. 
• We will never forget, nor forgive, those involved.
• And the most important note of all… the MAGA ideology that led to the coup attempt is still very much alive and out there, and right now as you read this, there are groups of people planning future attacks of a similar or worse nature.
• We know who they are. It’s easy because they tell us who they are every day in social posts and YouTube rants and so on. They will be being watched for the rest of their lives.
• There will be no end to the January 6 investigations until every person who was directly and peripherally responsible for the failed coup attempt is indicted and receives a trial, and hopefully is convicted to pay their debt to society.
• And now, The Weather: “Elastics” by Robbing Millions
• Yesterday, the House of Representatives held their seventh attempt to elect a Speaker. Then their eighth. Ninth. Tenth. And then eleventh. All were unsuccessful. Kevin McCarthy’s historic public humiliation amidst the clown show continues.
• It’s unknown how long this spectacle of a party in complete disarray will be able to function as a single entity.
• A reminder that the House can do literally nothing until a Speaker is elected. The GOP’s inability to work together negatively impacts American lives in numerous ways.
• They’ll continue the voting today. Hopefully they’ll be able to act like adults and put the American people above their narcissistic grandstanding.
• Not so surprisingly, the congresspeople who are responsible for holding up the House vote are also those who were supportive of the January 6 failed coup attempt.
• “With regards to the fight over the Speaker … that’s not my problem. I just think it’s a little embarrassing that it’s taking so long.” - President Joe Biden
• Side note: in stark contrast to the clusterfuck at the House, Biden was having a good-ass time this week, stopping by Just Q’in BBQ in Cincinnati, OH. Joe seemed super happy having a brisket plate with potato salad, mac and cheese, jalapeño cornbread, and peach cobbler.
• Yum!
• Meet Matt Schlapp. He’s the chairman of the American Conservative Union, a Republican political activist and lobbyist, and a political contributor to Fox News.
• Matt and is married to Mercedes Schlapp, who was Donald Trump's Director of Strategic Communications. They have five daughters.
• Yesterday, it was reported that a staffer for Herschel Walker’s Senate campaign has alleged that Matt Schlapp made “sustained and unwanted and unsolicited” sexual contact with him while the staffer was driving Schlapp back from an Atlanta bar this October.
• “Matt Schlapp of the CPAC grabbed my junk and pummeled it at length, and I’m sitting there thinking what the hell is going on, that this person is literally doing this to me.” - The Staffer
• Party of family values. Yikes.
• In much better news, the South Carolina state Supreme Court ruled yesterday that the state’s six-week ban on abortion violates the state’s constitution.
• The 2021 law had banned abortions once what it called a “fetal heartbeat” is detected, which can be as early as four weeks into pregnancy.
• In a 3-2 ruling, the court concluded that the law ran afoul of the state constitution’s privacy protections.
• Want to look at online porn in Louisiana? You’re gonna need to show some ID.
• As of January 1, 2023, people in Louisiana need to present proof of their age, such as a government-issued ID, to visit and view pornographic websites like Pornhub, YouPorn and Redtube.
• What happens the first time someone hacks the databases of those sites? Well, I guess your ID will be there to let everyone else know what gets you off.
• From the Sports Desk… it was amazing news yesterday morning that Damar Hamlin is now conscious and is able to communicate a bit with doctors and family through writing, a very good sign.
• He wanted to know who’d won the game. That’s a football player for you.
• His charity, a toy drive that had a goal of $2,500 before the incident, has now raised over $6 million. I hope that brings him some joy to learn, when he does.
• To be clear, Damar is substantially improved but is still in critical condition. It’s not possible to know if he’ll make a full recovery, and has a long road to go before then regardless, but he appears to be remaining among the living, which is sorta miraculous under the circumstances.
• The Sports Desk notes to this end that the NFL has decided not to continue the Bills-Bengals game that had been in progress. They’re going to work out some kind of crazy-ass set of scenarios so that there’s some measure of competitive fairness despite that crucial game not being played.
• In non-sports injury world, some good news for actor Jeremy Renner, who is still in intensive care after multiple surgeries after his own snowplow ran over him. He could have easily died, but instead is awake and alert and on the mend. That, too, will take a long time.
• Today in history… Harold Godwinson is crowned King of England, sparking a succession crisis that will eventually lead to the Norman conquest of England (1066). King Henry VIII of England marries Anne of Cleves (540). Alfred Vail and colleagues demonstrate a telegraph system using dots and dashes, the forerunner of Morse code (1838). Samuel Colt obtains his first contract for the sale of revolver pistols to the United States government (1847). Maria Montessori opens her first school and daycare center for working class children in Rome, Italy (1907). New Mexico is admitted to the Union as the 47th U.S. state (1912). Mother Teresa arrives by sea in Calcutta, India, to begin her work among India's poorest and sick people (1929). United States President Franklin D. Roosevelt delivers his Four Freedoms speech in the State of the Union address (1941). Satwant Singh and Kehar Singh are sentenced to death for conspiracy in the assassination of Prime Minister Indira Gandh and are executed the same day (1989). U.S. figure skater Nancy Kerrigan is attacked and injured by an assailant hired by her rival Tonya Harding's ex-husband during the U.S. Figure Skating Championships (1994). Supporters of U.S. President Donald Trump attack the United States Capitol to disrupt certification of the 2020 presidential election, resulting in five deaths and evacuation of the U.S. Congress (2021).
• January 6 is the birthday of English king Richard II (1367), martyr Joan of Arc (1412), politician/abolitionist Charles Sumner (1811), composer Max Bruch (1838), composer Alexander Scriabin (1872), poet/biographer Carl Sandburg (1878), cowboy/actor Tom Mix (1880), poet/philosopher Kahlil Gibran (1883), actor Danny Thomas (1912), actress Loretta Young (1913), religious leader Sun Myung Moon (1920), politician Kim Dae-jung (1924), banjo player Earl Scruggs (1924), engineer/businessman John DeLorean (1925), writer E. L. Doctorow (1931), songwriter/producer Van McCoy (1940), actress Bonnie Franklin (1944), singer-songwriter Syd Barrett (1946), singer-songwriter Sandy Denny (1947), guitarist Malcolm Young (1953), golfer Nancy Lopez (1957), NFL player Howie Long (1960), director John Singleton (1968), actor Norman Reedus (1969), actress Kate McKinnon (1984), NFL player Ndamukong Suh (1987), and NFL player Jameis Winston (1994).

I am sometimes apprehensive of Fridays, since it tends to illogically be the most likely day that I find myself doing a ton of unexpected work. However, I’m not going to worry about that. Whatever happens, happens. I’m gonna go with the flow. Enjoy your day.