Monday, February 13, 2023

Random News: February 13, 2023



DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.



Good morning. It’s February 13, 2023, and it’s a Monday. Let’s see how we be…


  • We shot down another UFO yesterday, this time over Lake Huron.
  • I know it sounds funny, but until we (as in, the public) are given information on a flying object that was shot down, it’s an unidentified flying object by definition.
  • “UFO” does not equal “alien”. It’s something we either don’t know or have yet to be told. The latter is more likely.
  • Oh, this time we used an F-16 to shoot it down instead of an F-22… but still with an AIM-9X Sidewinder missile as before.
  • They said the thing was “octagonal”. Eek.
  • Meanwhile, China claimed today that the United States flew spy balloons into Chinese airspace more than 10 times since January 2022 without Beijing's permission.
  • The US responded, "Any claim that the US government operates surveillance balloons over the PRC is false.”
  • These fucking countries. Chill out, you warmongers.
  • Speaking of war, this morning the USA issued a top-level advisory telling American citizens to leave Russia immediately and cease travel to the country. They cite risks of harassment and wrongful detention for Americans specifically.
  • If you have friends or family in Russia,tell them the time has come to GTFO.
  • I haven’t covered the East Palestine, OH train derailment, but nothing about it seems good. While authorities have said it’s safe for residents to return home, many are understandably concerned about “the pungent odor that reminds them of a mixture of nail polish remover and burning tires”.
  • Fuck that shit. No way.
  • And now, The Weather: “Sandrail Silhouette” by Avalon Emerson
  • Let’s see what’s happening in Florida, a state always good for some news…
  • Arin Hankerd, 42, was arrested on Sunday and charged with two counts of lewd and lascivious molestation of a person older than 12 years of age but younger than 16, traveling to meet a minor, and using a computer for lewd and lascvious exhibition by a person 18 years or older to a victim less than 16 years old.
  • He was a football coach fucking a 15-year-old.
  • I love that his arrest time was 7:16PM EST, meaning he didn’t get to finish watching the Super Bowl before his life as he previously knew it was over. Which brings us to…
  • From the Sports Desk… congrats to the Kansas City Chiefs, Super Bowl champs. It was a good game. There were some questionable calls, especially that nearly nonexistent hold right at the end, but credit where credit is due. Mahomes is a machine.
  • Overall it was a great game. Competitively one of the better Super Bowls in terms of both teams’ performance.
  • My only complaint is that the NFL season is now over, and I’ll be moping in a sports funk for awhile until I can convince myself to give a shit about basketball and/or hockey.
  • The ads? Meh. Seriously not one of the better years overall by a long shot. The best of them, I give maybe a B-minus.  Will Farrell’s EV ad for GM was decent. I kinda liked Dave Grohl’s Crown Royal ad (mostly because I like Dave Grohl). Same with seeing my dude Matty Matheson in an ad for DoorDash. Sarah McLachlan popping up in the Busch ad was kinda fun. Bradley Cooper and his mom for T-Mobile was cute. The RAM ad for Premature Electrification was sorta funny though I think the joke played out about halfway through. 
  • The tons of promos for upcoming shows on Fox that I will never watch under any circumstances was annoying at best.
  • One telltale sign of the ads being mediocre: I couldn’t remember a single standout this morning and had to go back and look at a list to even recall what brands were being promoted.
  • Lots of celebrities in the ads… and very little story. Writing matters, people.
  • And yes, I am available for hire to brands who don’t want to waste that $7 million budget for Super Bowl LVIII in 2024. Hit me up, brands.
  • The halftime performance? I think Rihanna performed just fine; I think the actual staging with the floating platforms was cool for about the first song and then got super repetitive. I think coming out and surprising people by doing the show with a previously-unannounced pregnancy was pretty awesome.
  • But I mean, compare that to last year’s Dr. Dre show alone. Or to Prince. Or U2, or Madonna, or BeyoncĂ©, or Lady Gaga. Again, Rihanna did fine; it just wasn’t comparable as a show to the most memorable of them.
  • And yet, on Twitter after the show, there was a pretty large contingent of, “How dare you show this obscenity with the crotch grabbing and hips pumping to my young children?”
  • Wow. Loosen up, Karen.
  • Also, how ironic is it that the forced-birth people were mad about Rihanna performing while pregnant? Sigh. Lordy.
  • Today in history… Catherine Howard, the fifth wife of Henry VIII of England, is executed for adultery (1542). Galileo Galilei arrives in Rome for his trial before the Inquisition (1633). William and Mary are proclaimed co-rulers of England (1689). The 13th Dalai Lama proclaims Tibetan independence following a period of domination by Manchu Qing dynasty and initiated a period of almost four decades of independence (1913). In New York City the American Society of Composers, Authors and Publishers — ASCAP — is established to protect the copyrighted musical compositions of its members (1914). With the success of a nuclear test codenamed "Gerboise Bleue", France becomes the fourth country to possess nuclear weapons (1960). Black college students stage the first of the Nashville sit-ins at three lunch counters in Nashville, TN (1960). Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd makes a historic apology to the Indigenous Australians and the Stolen Generations (2008).
  • February 13 is the birthday of economist Thomas Robert Malthus (1766), French president Paul Deschanel (1855), painter Grant Wood (1891), philosopher Agostinho da Silva (1906), singer/actor Tennessee Ernie Ford (1919), pilot Chuck Yeager (1923), actress Kim Novak (1933),  actor Oliver Reed (1938), actor/musician Peter Tork (1942), actress Stockard Channing (1944), TV host/politician Jerry Springer (1944), politician Richard Blumenthal (1946), basketball player/coach Mike Krzyzewski (1947), singer-songwriter Peter Gabriel (1950), musician Peter Hook (1956), singer-songwriter/actor/DJ Henry Rollins (1961), NFL player Randy Moss (1977), actress Mena Suvari (1979), and NFL player Aqib Talib (1986). 


I have no specific plans today beyond some meetings and some work. Oh, wait. I need to do the laundry that I didn’t do yesterday. That sucks, but I am now out of wearable clean clothes and I can’t spend tomorrow naked. It’s not warm enough for that. Enjoy your day.

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