Random News: February 2, 2023

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s February 2, 2023, and it’s a Thursday for some reason. What follows are certain things that I felt was worth mentioning for reasons that may or may not be apparent…

• It’s Groundhog Day, the most inane and ridiculous of American observances.
• Do you know what a groundhog even is? The groundhog (Marmota monax), also known as a woodchuck, is a rodent of the family Sciuridae, belonging to the group of large ground squirrels known as marmots.
• It’s a giant fat squirrel, man. You’re taking weather advice from an overweight rodent.
• Side note: no marmot chucks wood on a regular basis. That name stems from an Algonquian (possibly Narragansett) name for the animal, wuchak.
• The largest rodents, of course, are the capybara, beaver, and porcupine.
• The weirdest rodent, in my humble opinion, is the Patagonian mara. It’s about three feet tall, weighs 30 pounds, and looks like a cross between a kangaroo and a jackrabbit with spindly-ass front legs that are bizarrely more deer-like for reasons unknown.
• Anyway, that chubby-ass rodent saw his shadow this morning, calling for six more weeks of winter. I’d like to point out that winter scientifically ends with the vernal equinox on March 20, which — crazily enough — is six weeks from Groundhog Day.
• And now, The Weather: “Run” by Bleary Eyed
• There’s been an ice storm in the South and brutal cold in the Midwest that’s heading into the Northeast. Power outages during the freeze have affected hundreds of thousands of people in Texas.
• It’s brisk but rather nice here in SoCal.
• My feelings on Nikki Haley’s imminent announcement for a 2024 presidential run is simply this: it will end up splitting the GOP vote and that’s nothing but good as far as I believe.
• Here’s a quote from Haley in 2012: “All of my policy is not based on a label. It’s based on what I’ve lived and what I know: Women don’t care about contraception. They care about jobs and the economy and raising their families and all of those things.”
• Women don’t care about contraception. Good to know. Thanks Nikki. 
• Moving on…
• The FBI searched President Biden’s vacation home in Rehoboth Beach, DE for classified documents and found… nothing. That’s nice for a change.
• In much less good news form the Biden admin, they are recommending to allow a major oil development on Alaska's North Slope.
• Environmentalists see it as a betrayal of the president's pledges to reduce carbon emissions and promote clean energy sources. They’re right.
• This morning is the National Prayer Breakfast. It’s something that’s gone on since 1953, and I don’t fucking like it.
• I’m fine with people and politicians having strong religious beliefs. I’m not fine with any blurring of the line between church and state.
• Also, am I allowed to perform pagan rituals at this breakfast, or is it just a bunch of protestant Christians doing their thing? Don’t answer, I already know. The event, I should add, is supposed to be interfaith and non-denominational. Heh.
• The United States of America has no official religion and in fact has laws that protect against the formation of any official religion.
• But I’m far from alone in my feelings on this. A growing number of Americans — currently about 30% — are identifying as religiously unaffiliated. A little less than two-thirds identify as Christian, down from 90% 50 years ago.
• In other news…
• Republican attorneys general from 20 red states have warned CVS and Walgreens against mailing abortion pills in their states.
• The nation’s two largest pharmacies had already stated that they would only dispense mifepristone in states where the law allows it. If you need some history, the FDA approved mifepristone more than 20 years ago as a safe and effective way to terminate an early pregnancy.
• The Biden administration last month issued a legal opinion arguing that the Postal Service can mail the pill to states where it is banned if the sender does not intend to break the law.
• So that’ll be interesting.
• In comedy news, former president Donnie T stated on his failing social network that his presumed opponent in the 2024 Republican presidential primary, Ron DeSantis is a RINO GLOBALIST.
• “The real Ron is a RINO GLOBALIST, who closed quickly down Florida and even its beaches. Loved the Vaccines and wasted big money on ‘Testing.’ How quickly people forget!” - Orange Man
• From the Sports Desk… the big question for next year’s NFL season is where all the quarterbacks are going to go, with perhaps the biggest question marks being Derek Carr and Aaron Rodgers, but also Jimmy Garoppolo, Ryan Tannehill and others. Between the draft, cuts, trades, and free agency, the league will likely look quite a bit different when it kicks off the 2023-24 season.
• Current projections have Carr to the Jets, Garoppolo to the Raiders, and Rodgers being whiny but staying with Green Bay, but it gets murky after that.
• Today in history… King Louis III of France is defeated by the Norse Great Heathen Army at Lüneburg Heath in Saxony (880). New Amsterdam is incorporated, and is later renamed The City of New York (1653). The National League of Professional Baseball Clubs of Major League Baseball is formed (1876). In Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania, the first Groundhog Day is observed (1887). Boston, Detroit, Milwaukee, Baltimore, Chicago, and St. Louis agree to form baseball's American League (1900). ‘Ulysses’ by James Joyce is published (1922). The Battle of Stalingrad comes to an end when Soviet troops accept the surrender of the last organized German troops in the city (1943). Swiss tennis player Roger Federer becomes the No. 1 ranked men's singles player, a position he will hold for a record 237 weeks (2004).
• February 2 is the birthday of France prime minister Charles Maurice de Talleyrand-Périgord (1754), inventor/philanthropist William Stanley (1829), businessman Frederick William Vanderbilt (1856), businessman/philanthropist Solomon R. Guggenheim (1861), novelist/poet James Joyce (1882), NFL coach George Halas (1895), businessman Howard Deering Johnson (1897), novelist Ayn Rand (1905), novelist/poet James Dickey (1923), journalist Liz Smith (1923), saxophonist Stan Getz (1927), comedian/activist Tom Smothers (1937), singer-songwriter Graham Nash (1942), actress Farrah Fawcett (1947), chef/author Ina Garten (1948), actor Brent Spiner (1949), politician John Cornyn (1952), model/actress Christie Brinkley (1954), and bass player Robert DeLeo (1966).

I’ve got typical Thursday stuff planned. Under my current circumstances, I also have to stay flexible with my schedule, but that’s okay. I can do that. Enjoy your day.