Random News: March 18, 2023

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s March 18, 2023, and it’s a Saturday. I’m a random dude in a robe, so respect my authority…

• This morning, the former President of the United States said he is being arrested on Tuesday of next week. He took the news well.
• “PROTEST, TAKE OUR NATION BACK!”, he screamed.
• I wouldn’t make any big plans for Tuesday 3/21/23.
• In fact, local, state and federal law enforcement and security agencies were already preparing for the possibility that former President Donald Trump will be indicted, and all that entails. 
• I mean, you know some of those MAGA folks are going to lose their shit as soon as he turns himself in. I’d expect some kind of weird-ass violence when it happens.
• But I sure am going to enjoy it. Every bit of it. Every morsel.
• The officials stress that the interagency conversations and planning are precautionary in nature because no charges have yet been filed. But it seems, per the scared fat man, that they actually will.
• But let’s be clear here: Trump is calling for yet another January 6-type event, except likely more widespread, and his cult 100% WILL do as he says. And personally, I hope the cliffs they fall off as a result are steep.
• I am in favor of peaceful protest. I do not think these folks are capable of that. Anyway, keep your eyes open on Tuesday and days before and after. That’s all I’m saying.
• Speaking of assholes getting arrested…
• Vladimir Putin, you have the right to remain silent.
• Actually probably not. But the International Criminal Court said Friday it has issued an arrest warrant for the Russian president for war crimes because of his alleged involvement in abductions of children from Ukraine.
• The ICC also issued a warrant for the arrest of Maria Alekseyevna Lvova-Belova, the Commissioner for Children's Rights in the Office of the President of the Russian Federation, on similar allegations.
• I’m not sure how they’re going to apprehend Putin, but I do wish them luck doing so.
• Back in the USA…
• A Kansas bill banning transgender athletes from girls' and women's sports was vetoed by Democratic Gov. Laura Kelly for the third year in a row, setting up a hotly contested fight in the Republican-controlled Legislature to override her.
• She said that decisions about transgender athletes should be made by schools, doctors, families and local officials, and that the two bills she vetoed would have “created unnecessary new government mandates.”
• I think those decisions should be made by… transgender athletes. But I’m glad she’s showing support.
• In “Florida Being Florida” news, the state remains unable to enforce its "Stop Woke Act" pushed by Gov. Ron DeSantis (R) after a federal appeals court ruled against removing a temporary block on the legislation.
• The 11th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals issued a preliminary injunction last year temporarily prohibiting the state from enforcing the law at colleges and universities. The state appealed and requested a stay, which would allow the state to continue enforcing the law until the appeal was resolved. Both requests were denied Thursday.
• Ha ha.
• The pointless law restricts how race is discussed in Florida schools, colleges and workplaces. The state Legislature approved the measure last March, and it was signed into law by DeSantis in April.
• Anyway, the law was ruled unconstitutional in most cases, with the court saying it violates the First and 14th Amendments as well as the Equal Protection Clause. But the law remains intact for K-12 schools, because fuck those kids, right?
• And now, The Weather: “Paraiso” by Pearl & The Oysters
• From the Sports Desk… more bracket busters in the NCAA tournament, aka March Madness. No. 1 seed Purdue had a  stunning loss to No. 16 seed Fairleigh Dickinson. I’ve never even heard of that college. I’m not sure it’s real.
• Anyway, they’re only the second 16 seed to beat a No. 1 in history, and no one on Earth picked them, so no one has an intact bracket at this point.
• Good times.
• Today in history… Mongols overwhelm Polish armies in Kraków in the Battle of Chmielnik and plunder the city (1241). English lord John Berkeley sold his half of New Jersey to the Quakers (1673). The British Parliament repeals the Stamp Act (1766). Six farm laborers from Tolpuddle, Dorset, England are sentenced to be transported to Australia for forming a trade union (1834). The Congress of the Confederate States adjourns for the last time (1865). Mohandas Gandhi is sentenced to six years in prison for civil disobedience (1922). Adolf Hitler and Benito Mussolini meet at the Brenner Pass in the Alps and agree to form an alliance against France and the United Kingdom (1940). Cosmonaut Alexei Leonov, leaving his spacecraft Voskhod 2 for 12 minutes, becomes the first person to walk in space (1965). The U.S. Congress repeals the requirement for a gold reserve to back US currency (1968). 
• March 18 is the birthday of US vice president John C. Calhoun (1782), US president Grover Cleveland (1837), UK prime minister Neville Chamberlain (1869), mystic Edgar Cayce (1877), businessman Ernest Gallo (1909), activist Fred Shuttlesworth,  (1922), race car driver/businessman Andy Granatelli (1923), journalist/author George Plimpton (1927), businesswoman/philanthropist Lillian Vernon (1927), novelist John Updike (1932), singer Charley Pride (1934), singer-songwriter Wilson Pickett (1941), singer-songwriter Eric Woolfson (1945), actor Brad Dourif (1950), guitarist/composer Bill Frisell (1951), singer-songwriter Irene Cara (1959), singer-songwriter/guitarist Jerry Cantrell (1966), rapper/actress Queen Latifah (1970), NBA player Brian Scalabrine (1978), singer-songwriter Adam Levine (1979), and singer-songwriter Lykke Li (1986).

Okay, so I’m going to take a shower and put on clothes. I’m serious about this Trump shit. Do not be at all shocked if some crazy-ass MAGA “protests” in various places turn weird/violent. I’ll just be making popcorn over here. Enjoy your day.