Random News: April 1, 2023

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

---

Good morning. It’s April 1, 2023, and it’s a Wednesday. I’ve got my bathrobe and I’ve got my cup, come on everybody, let’s get fffffffilled with news items…

• Rabbit rabbit rabbit.
• It’s the first day of a new month, and it’s April Fools’ Day.
• Don’t be fooled.
• Fun Fact: The Romans gave this month the Latin name Aprilis but the derivation of this name is uncertain. Some feel it’s from the verb aperire, "to open", in allusion to its being the season when trees and flowers begin to “open".
• But no one knows for sure. It’s a nice enough name.
• And of course, all words and names are just something that someone somewhere at some time made up.
• A lot of severe and deadly weather events yesterday in Arkansas, Illinois, and elsewhere. I hope you are okay.
• One of my main clients is a guitar manufacturer that primarily makes instruments for the heavy metal world, and one of the endorsed players was doing a show at the Apollo Theater in Belvidere, IL (about 70 miles NW of Chicago) last night when a tornado hit and caused the roof of the venue to collapse.
• Pretty crazy.
• In other news…
• A federal judge temporarily blocked Tennessee’s first-in-the-nation law placing strict limits on drag shows just hours before it was set to go into effect.
• A Memphis-based LGBTQ+ theater company had filed a federal lawsuit Monday against Shelby County District Attorney Steve Mulroy and the state, claiming the statute violates the First Amendment. They’re right.
• It’s always worth putting up a fight against injustice.
• While Republicans are focused on drag shows’ effect on children, maybe they should look in the mirror instead.
• A well-connected Republican donor was convicted yesterday of enticing teenage girls with gifts, cash and money in exchange for sex.
• A federal jury found Anton “Tony” Lazzaro, 32, guilty of seven counts involving “commercial sex acts” with five girls aged 15 and 16 when he was 30 years old.
• The charges carry mandatory minimum sentences of 10 years with a maximum of life in prison. The government is also seizing his property.
• FAFO.
• I’m not going to keep repeating the same information we all know about former president Trump being indicted. Nothing new will be established until he’s arrested and arraigned next week.
• But in comedy news, conservatives claim they are seeking criminal charges against Democrats… as soon as they can find a reason to do so.
• “All bets are off. You can expect grand jury indictments of leftist politicians like Biden, Pelosi and Schumer as surely as night follows day.” - Tom Fitton, Giant Asshole
• Millions of people lost their health insurance today in Arkansas, Arizona, Idaho, South Dakota, and New Hampshire. 
• It’s the end of a pandemic-era protection that kept people from being removed from the Medicaid rosters without annual reapplication.
• A lot of those folks won’t even know they are uninsured. If you have family or friends in those states, might want to make sure they’re covered.
• Sen. John Fetterman (D-PA) was released from the hospital yesterday after six weeks of inpatient treatment for clinical depression at Walter Reed Medical Center, and returned to his home outside of Pittsburgh.
• “I will have more to say about this soon, but for now I want everyone to know that depression is treatable, and treatment works.” - Senator Fetterman
• If your loved one had pneumonia, would you tell them to just “get over it”? Probably not. Don’t treat mental disorders any differently. I’m cheering for Fetterman, who set a great example by addressing his problem the right way.
• Not that I have a say in the matter, but I am endorsing Brandon Johnson for mayor of Chicago. Just so you know.
• Meanwhile, down in Florida, things keep getting worse.
• The Florida Senate gave final passage to a bill that will allow people to carry a concealed weapon in public without a government-issued permit, a top priority of Gov. Ron DeSantis.
• They are also ending a state requirement to undergo training before carrying a concealed weapon outside the home, and ends background checks.
• So congrats, Florida. Now every violent criminal, domestic abuser, and mentally disturbed person can fully legally carry a concealed gun. 
• You’re all fucked. Shootings and gun deaths in the Sunshine State are about to go sky high.
• And now, The Weather: “Twisted” by Chelsea Days
• From the Sports Desk… remember yesterday how I predicted the NCAA Women’s final would be between Virginia Tech and South Carolina? Yeah, they both lost in the Final Four. This is why I don’t do brackets. The championship game tomorrow will be between Iowa (2) and LSU (3).
• Today in history… The United States House of Representatives achieves its first quorum and elects Frederick Muhlenberg of Pennsylvania as its first Speaker (1789). Union troops led by Philip Sheridan decisively defeat Confederate troops led by George Pickett, cutting the Army of Northern Virginia's last supply line (1865). The Territorial Force, renamed Territorial Army in 1920, is formed as a volunteer reserve component of the British Army (1908). Adolf Hitler is sentenced to five years imprisonment for his participation in the "Beer Hall Putsch" but spends only nine months in jail (1924). United States President Dwight D. Eisenhower authorizes the creation of the United States Air Force Academy in Colorado Springs, CO (1954). President Richard Nixon signs the Public Health Cigarette Smoking Act into law (1970). Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak found Apple Computer, Inc. (1976). Iran becomes an Islamic republic by a 99% vote, officially overthrowing the Shah (1979). Singer Marvin Gaye is shot to death by his father in his home in Arlington Heights, Los Angeles, CA (1984). Nunavut is established as a Canadian territory carved out of the eastern part of the Northwest Territories (1999). Same-sex marriage becomes legal in the Netherlands, the first contemporary country to allow it (2001). Google launches its Email service Gmail (2004).
• April 1 is the birthday of mathematician/physicist Sophie Germain (1776), composer Sergei Rachmaninoff (1873), actor Lon Chaney (1883), actor Wallace Beery (1995), psychologist Abraham Maslow (1908), librarian Augusta Braxton Baker (1911), actress Grace Lee Whitney (1930), actress Ali MacGraw (1939), MLB player Phil Niekro (1939), bass player Ronnie Lane (1946), singer-songwriter Gil Scott-Heron (1949), SCOTUS justice Samuel Alito (1950), drummer Jeff Porcaro (1954), singer/musician D. Boon (1958), singer Susan Boyle (1961), journalist Rachel Maddow (1973), actress Bijou Phillips (1980), actor Taran Killam (1982), NBA player Brook Lopez (1988), NBA player Robin Lopez (1988), and YouTube influencer Logan Paul (1995). 

It’s Saturday, and I desperately need some relaxation time. I’m doing very little today, very purposefully. Enjoy your day.