Random News: April 5, 2023

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s April 5, 2023, and it’s a Wednesday. Lots of stuff going on, so if you like to know things, and I think you do, let’s see what they are…

• A couple of huge things happened yesterday, the very biggest being the victory of Janet Protasiewicz for Wisconsin’s Supreme Court election.
• This flips majority control in liberals’ favor in what could be the most consequential election of the year with abortion access, election rules and more on the line in the key swing state.
• From a national perspective, this race was all about Roe v. Wade and how voters remain motivated to vote against candidates who don’t support women’s bodily autonomy.
• Second, progressive public school teacher and labor organizer Brandon Johnson defeated former public schools CEO Paul Vallas to win the race for Chicago mayor.
• This is all super good news.
• There was this other thing…
• Former President Donald Trump was placed under arrest yesterday and then in court, pleaded not guilty to 34 felony criminal charges of falsifying business records in Manhattan criminal court yesterday. You probably knew that.
• I’m not gonna spend a lot of time on it for now. Here’s the gist.
• The reason for the hush money payments was intended to suppress damaging information about himself during his 2016 candidacy. It multiple payments of tens of thousands of dollars as hush money to a number of women including Stormy Daniels and Karen McDougal as well as a person with alleged info on a secret love child. Prosecutors say that the payments violated election law.
• Then Trump would falsify the payments by fraudulently entering them as other descriptions in his business records. Trump’s claim that he sent the hush money to avoid scrutiny by his wife over his affairs is negated by the allegation that he also told his fixers to stop payments after the election.
• Each charge has a maximum of four years, so he faces a possible (pulls out calculator) 136 years in prison. 
• Just kidding. They’d be served concurrently, and even then he’d never serve all four years. But more to the point, he’ll never serve a single day behind bars.
• Certainly not for this, and probably not for anything else either… but definitely not for this. If he was tried and found guilty (and then appealed and still found guilty and so on and so on), the absolute worst punishment he’ll get would be some kind of home confinement. An ankle bracelet. 
• But for now, keep in mind that like every American, Donald Trump is innocent until proven guilty. Due process is great in that all people — giant assholes or otherwise — have those rights. It’s nowhere near a perfect justice system, but it’s a pretty good one.
• Back in Florida, and despite having been warned by Judge Juan Merchan during the arraignment not to make comments that could “jeopardize the rule of law” or create civil unrest, Trump gave an “airing of grievances” speech that evening, but he seemed sedated and didn’t even read the teleprompter very well during his pity party.
• His next scheduled in-court appearance is in December, pushing right into the 2024 presidential primaries. Fascinating.
• Nothing more on that for now. Final note: this is by far the least worrisome of the pending legal actions against the former guy’s crimes. This just happened to be the first one.
• Moving on…
• Let’s talk about gun violence in schools. Some people want to have more armed teachers and resource officers.
• Yesterday, the family of an 18-year-old woman who was fatally shot by a California school safety officer in 2021 reached a $13 million settlement agreement with the Long Beach Unified School District in their civil case.
• So get ready for a lot more of that in your local school districts, and get ready to pay for it. Schools will need to be insured for accidental shootings and deaths via their own staff, which will come from your taxes.
• In protest of the complete lack of action regarding gun violence in schools, students in Nashville, TN yesterday walked out of class. Today at noon local time, across the nation, more walkouts are expected, a protest organized by the group Students Demand Action.
• And now, The Weather: “Head On” by José González
• A tornado that hit about 4AM this morning in Missouri has caused multiple fatalities and injuries. I hope you people are okay over there.
• Johnson & Johnson has offered $8.9 billion to settle the thousands of lawsuits claiming that talc in its baby powder product causes cancer. The settlement will need approval from a bankruptcy court. The product is no longer being sold.
• That shit used to be in every household in America.
• From the Sports Desk… how does “Magic Johnson, NFL Team Owner” sound to you? I like it. He’s part of a group that reportedly placed a $6 billion bid on the purchase of the Washington Commanders. Magic says he’s looking forward to adding a Super Bowl ring to his collection.
• Amazon founder Jeff Bezos reportedly also wants to buy the team, but current owner Dan Snyder hates him, making it more difficult. But if Bezos writes a bigger check, he’ll get the team, because that’s how things work.
• In other sports/business news, the Miami Heat are dropping the “FTX" from its arena’s name. Why be named after a bankrupt cryptocurrency bullshit business? Someone else will scoop up the naming rights immediately.
• Today in history… Two hundred Dutch noblemen, led by Hendrick van Brederode, force themselves into the presence of Margaret of Parma and present the Petition of Compromise, denouncing the Spanish Inquisition in the Seventeen Provinces (1566). In Virginia, Native American Pocahontas marries English colonist John Rolfe (1614). United States President George Washington exercises his authority to veto a bill, the first time this power is used in the United States (1792). The American Birth Control League, forerunner of Planned Parenthood, is incorporated (1922). U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt signs two executive orders: 6101 to establish the Civilian Conservation Corps, and 6102 "forbidding the Hoarding of Gold Coin, Gold Bullion, and Gold Certificates" by U.S. citizens (1933). Yugoslav leader Josip Broz Tito signs an agreement with the Soviet Union to allow "temporary entry of Soviet troops into Yugoslav territory” (1945). A fire in Effingham, IL, kills 77 people and leads to nationwide fire code improvements in the United States (1949). Ethel and Julius Rosenberg are sentenced to death for spying for the Soviet Union (1951). Massive anti-Vietnam war demonstrations occur in many U.S. cities (1969). The US Supreme Court rules that congressional legislation that diminished the size of the Sioux people's reservation thereby destroyed the tribe's jurisdictional authority over the area in Rosebud Sioux Tribe v. Kneip (1977). In Japan, the Akashi Kaikyō Bridge opens to traffic, becoming the longest bridge span in the world (1998). 
• April 5 is the birthday of politician Benjamin Harrison V (1726), revolutionary war hero Sybil Ludington (1761), sea captain/politician Robert Smalls (1839), educator Booker T. Washington (1856), actor Walter Huston (1883), actor Spencer Tracy (1900), actress Bette Davis (1908), film producer Albert R. Broccoli (1909), music producer Joe Meek (1929), entertainment manager Peter Grant (1935), US general/secretary of state Colin Powell (1937), actor Max Gail (1943), actress Jane Asher (1946), engineer/astronaut Judith Resnik (1949), actor Mitch Pileggi (1952), singer-songwriter Peter Case (1954), singer-songwriter Stan Ridgway (1954), wrestler Diamond Dallas Page (1956), guitarist Mike McCready (1966), and NBA player Stephen Jackson (1978). 

As always, there is more news — and more detail on the stories above — than I have time or energy to regurgitate. I’m going to be enjoying a much less hectic work schedule today, though I still have plenty to do. I just won’t be on the edge of insanity while doing it. Enjoy your day.