Random News: April 8, 2023

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s April 8, 2023, and it’s a Saturday. I write this column on Saturdays while wearing a bathrobe, but you’re all naked under your clothes, so even-stevens, and let’s now look at the news…

• When we talked last year about the disastrous effects of overturning Roe v. Wade, we mentioned that there were many ways the forced-birth contingent would try and take away women’s bodily autonomy, even in states where abortion is legal and protected by state law.
• Yesterday U.S. Judge Matthew Kacsmaryk of the U.S. Northern District of Texas — a member of the ultra-conservative Federalist Society — stayed the Food and Drug Administration’s approval of the abortion pill mifepristone.
• The ruling takes effect in one week, giving the Biden administration seven days to appeal.
• Mifepristone was approved by the FDA more than 20 years ago in 2000.
• The FDA warned that pulling mifepristone from the U.S. market would put the health of women at risk if they cannot get access to the pill to safely end pregnancies. 
• If the Biden admin’s appeal isn’t successful, it’s a disaster for women’s rights. Medication-induced abortion is the most common method of abortion in the United States.
• But then, within hours, a federal judge in Washington state ruled the opposite way in a separate case involving mifepristone that the drug is safe and effective.
• U.S. District Judge Thomas O. Rice ordered the FDA to retain access in the 17 states — along with D.C. — that are behind the second lawsuit, which seeks to protect medication abortion.
• We’ll see how this goes. For now, moving on…
• The actions of Tennessee House Republicans in voting to expel Reps. Justin Jones (D-Nashville), on a 72-25 vote, and Rep. Justin Pearson (D-Memphis), 69-26, is going to be their political death knell and might swing the entire state in a direction that would previously have been unthinkable.
• Massive rallies by students and young voters are energizing Tennessee’s surprisingly large Democratic base as well as putting a spotlight on this cause across the country.
• By moving ahead with the expulsions, the state's Republican House speaker, Cameron Sexton, turned two Democrats who held no legislative power in a Republican supermajority into national heroes on the political left.
• This is why they try not to let stupid people get into politics. Good job Speaker Sexton (slow clap).
• Look out for one of the Justins to run for TN Senator. Marsh Blackburn is up for re-election in 2024. Young people are super angry, and rightfully so. That carries over to the polls.
• In other news…
• Matt Taibbi, the hack writer who Elon Musk hired to create his now-debunked “Twitter Files” articles about supposed past censorship by the platform, has left Twitter.
• Musk has suppressed all links to the Substack platform where many writers store and distribute their content. A search for “Substack” on Twitter this morning returned results for the word “newsletter” instead.
• Musk is afraid that Substack’s Notes function will compete with the dying Twitter platform. He’s a very fearful man.
• Let’s chat just a little more about Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas and his amazingly horrifying ethics violations.
• His wealthy benefactor, billionaire Harlan Crow, lives in Dallas and has large collections of historical artifacts. These include two paintings by Adolf Hitler, a signed copy of Hitler’s book 'Mein Kampf’, Nazi uniform decorations, and a garden full of statues of the 20th century’s worst despots.
• It seems as if Clarence Thomas, who accepted millions of dollars in lavish travel and other benefits from Crow, is another one of his trophies. How has this affected his rulings on cases in our nation’s highest court?
• Crow has had many cases before the SCOTUS. He funds groups that argue for outcomes that benefit him. One group, CCI, filed eight briefs before the Court. Thomas sided with Crow in all eight cases.
• I think we need to clean house and start fresh.
• Conservatives are mad at Bud Light. Yes, the shitty beer.
• Bud Light showed support for transgender activist and TikTok star Dylan Mulvaney. Of course, that inspired the ammosexual community to purchases cases of Bud Light that they could shoot at with the guns they use instead of having man-sized penises.
• Hilariously, conservatives who are very opposed to what t hey call “cancel culture” have been passing around a list of “woke” companies to (wait for it)… cancel.
• They may also want to note that like Bud Light, Walmart has also recently hired Dylan Mulvaney as ambassadors. Where you gonna buy your cheap Chinese shit now, Billy Joe Bob?
• Side note: Coors Light, Budweiser, Miller Lite, Michelob, and other mass consumer beer brands have all run pre-LGBTQ+ campaigns, so apparently there’s a big market opportunity for a microbrewery to be anti-woke, as long as they can sell their product for $4.99/case.
• And now, The Weather: “The Rancher” by Blue Days
• From the Sports Desk, there’s been some weather issues at The Masters. They had to end the second day of the tournament early yesterday, and two 100-foot pine trees fell during the round, amazingly not killing or injuring any players or spectators.
• The only thing I want to mention is that the current third-place golfer at -8 par is Sam Bennett, an amateur. I’d love for some random amateur golfer to beat those other guys. Brooks Koepka is leading at -12 as the third round starts.
• Today in history… The Mongols begin their siege on Kaifeng, the capital of the Jin dynasty (1232). Shearith Israel, the first synagogue in continental North America, is dedicated (1730). The Venus de Milo is discovered on the Aegean island of Milos (1820). Harvard University votes to establish the Harvard Business School (1908). Dutch physicist Heike Kamerlingh Onnes discovers superconductivity (1911). The 17th Amendment to the United States Constitution, requiring direct election of Senators, becomes law (1913). President Franklin D. Roosevelt, in an attempt to check inflation, freezes wages and prices, prohibits workers from changing jobs unless the war effort would be aided thereby, and bars rate increases by common carriers and public utilities (1943). Frank Robinson manages the Cleveland Indians in his first game as major league baseball's first African American manager (1975). Windows XP reaches its standard End Of Life and is no longer supported (2014). Bernie Sanders ends his presidential campaign, leaving Joe Biden as the Democratic Party's nominee (2020).
• April 8 is the birthday of actress Mary Pickford (1892), first lady Betty Ford (1918), comedian Shecky Greene (1926), journalist Seymour Hersh (1937), NBA player John Havlicek (1940), fashion designer Vivienne Westwood (1941), MLB player Catfish Hunter (1946), guitarist/composer Steve Howe (1947), singer-songwriter Brenda Russell (1949), MLB player Gary Carter (1954), guitarist Izzy Stradlin (1962), singer-songwriter Julian Lennon (1963), singer-songwriter Donita Sparks (1963), rapper/actor Biz Markie (1964), actress Robin Wright (1966), actress Patricia Arquette (1968), singer-songwriter/guitarist Alexi Laiho (1979), MLB player Carlos Santana (1986), and NFL player CeeDee Lamb (1999).

I have some personal crap — various laundry and grooming things and other prep — to handle today in regard to my upcoming trade show. I’ll be taking it easy otherwise. Enjoy your day.