Random News: May 1, 2023

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s May 1, 2023, and it’s a Monday. Let’s kick off this new week by learning various things, but not before we perform a silly superstitious ritual…

• Rabbit rabbit rabbit.
• It’s a new month. In fact, it’s May. And May 1 is a significant date to many.
• Today is International Workers' Day, often referred to as May Day. It celebrates laborers and the working classes… basically, anyone who actually works for a living, as do most of us.
• Not-Fun Fact: the USA, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, and Japan are the only countries that don’t have a public holiday on May 1, but all of the above have some kind of Labor Day later in the year.
• The actual OG May Day holiday is a European festival of ancient origins marking the beginning of summer, usually celebrated on 1 May, around halfway between the spring equinox and summer solstice.
• Makes sense.
• Let’s do some news.
• Looks like there’s another entry in the GOP field for president. Senator Tim Scott (R-SC) teased a “major announcement” coming later this month. He’d launched an exploratory committee in April.
• Scott is an evangelical. He’s also a Black man, which may or may not affect his ability to engage the far-right voting base he’d need to win nationally as a Republican candidate. But he must feel it’s worthwhile to spend millions going up against Trump, or I assume he wouldn’t have bothered.
• Speaking of Trump, he is scared to death about his ongoing rape and defamation trial.
• Last night he asked the judge to declare a mistrial, arguing the judge has made “pervasive unfair and prejudicial rulings” against him.
• Fuck that shit. There are consequences to our actions, Donnie. Asking for a mistrial after two days of witness testimony is a move based on pure fear.
• E. Jean Carroll returns to the witness stand today to face another day of cross-examination. She’s a strong woman; she’ll prevail.
• Where is Donnie T, by the way?
• Former US President Donald Trump has said "it is great to be home" as he arrived in Aberdeen on a visit to his Scottish golf properties. He is attending a ceremony to open a new course at his Aberdeenshire resort, Trump International Scotland.
• I mean, he could just stay there if he likes it so much. Just a thought.
• Moving on…
• Were there any mass shootings over the weekend? Please. This is America.
• On Saturday night, masked gunmen fired without warning into a crowd at a late night teen party at a South Carolina park, wounding nine people. All nine hit by gunfire are expected to live, amazingly, as well as a woman who was injured when she was run over by a fleeing car.
• That same night, two teenagers were killed and four wounded in a shooting at a post-prom house party on the Mississippi Gulf Coast. Cameron Everest Brand is charged with murder and aggravated assault.
• Plenty of other shootings to choose from. A guy shot in the face while in a car in San Antonio. A guy in a shopping center parking lot in Memphis. Another two in a bar, also in Memphis. Four in Birmingham. Two in Detroit. One in Albuquerque. A guy in Las Vegas. Three in Seattle. Two in Portland. A three-year-old in Philadelphia. 
• I mean, there were six mass shootings (with four or more people shot) on Sunday morning alone.
• It’s normal, right? Doesn’t every country have dozens of gun-based woundings and murders every single weekend of the year? No?
• Why not?
• Moving on…
• Actually, wait a sec.
• Thousands of guns were surrendered across New York on Saturday in exchange for gift cards as part of the state’s gun buyback program. More than 3,000 guns including various assault-style rifles and “ghost guns” were given up.
• Nice. More of that, please.
• Some Republicans are questioning why they poll so amazingly badly with younger voters. Hmm, let’s see…
• “Raise the voting age to 21. Bring back the draft. Gen Z is a disaster that requires emergency correction.” - conservative political activist Brigitte Gabriel
• Ah, now I see.
• And now, The Weather: “Before” by Swiss Portrait
• Today’s weird headline? This one was easy.
• “Multiple people reported hearing someone 'orgasm' during the L.A. Philharmonic's performance of Tchaikovsky's fifth symphony on Friday. It's not clear what happened.”
• I mean, I, too, like classical music.
• From the Sports Desk… we now have our semifinals set in the NBA playoffs, and two matchups have already started. All series are best of seven games in a 2-2-1-1-1 city format.
• Eastern Conference: Miami Heat (8) lead New York Knicks (5) 1-0; Boston Celtics (2) vs Philadelphia 76ers (3).
• Western Conference: Denver Nuggets (1) lead Phoenix Suns (4) 1-0; Golden State Warriors (6) vs. Los Angeles Lakers (7).
• I do need to note that the Dubs’ Stephen Curry, who will inarguably go down in history as one of the best pure shooters ever in pro basketball, set a record yesterday in the game 7 matchup that eliminated the Sacramento Kings. He scored 50. In a game 7. By himself. Holy shit.
• I hope the Lakers beat Golden States’ ass, but I will always respect Curry’s game.
• Today in history… Wars of Scottish Independence end: England recognizes Scotland as an independent state (1328). Christopher Columbus presents his plans discovering a western route to the Indies to the Spanish Queen Isabella I of Castile (1486). The Act of Union joining England and Scotland to form the Kingdom of Great Britain takes effect (1707). The Slave Trade Act 1807 takes effect, abolishing the slave trade within the British Empire (1807). The Memphis Race Riots begin (1866). Rallies are held throughout the United States demanding the eight-hour work day, culminating in the Haymarket affair in Chicago, in commemoration of which May 1 is celebrated as International Workers' Day in many countries (1886). "Pluto" is officially proposed for the name of the newly discovered dwarf planet Pluto. (1930). The polio vaccine developed by Jonas Salk is made available to the public (1956). Francis Gary Powers, in a Lockheed U-2 spyplane, is shot down over the Sverdlovsk Oblast, Soviet Union, sparking a diplomatic crisis (1960). Amtrak — the National Railroad Passenger Corporation — takes over operation of U.S. passenger rail service (1971). In what becomes known as the "Mission Accomplished" speech, George W. Bush declares that "major combat operations in Iraq have ended” (2003). Same-sex marriage is legalized in Sweden (2009).
• May 1 is the birthday of physician/activist Emily Stowe (1831), frontierswoman Calamity Jane (1852), singer Kate Smith (1907), comedian/TV host Jack Paar (1918), novelist Joseph Heller (1923), novelist Terry Southern (1924), NFL player Chuck Bednarik (1925), singer-songwriter Judy Collins (1939), actress Joanna Lumley (1946), songwriter/producer Glen Ballard (1953), singer-songwriter Ray Parker Jr. (1954), bass player D'arcy Wretzky (1968), director/film producer Wes Anderson (1969), and NFL player Wes Welker (1981).

Welp, it’s time to do the responsible things. Enjoy your day.