Random News: May 14, 2023

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s May 14, 2023, and it’s a Sunday. The sun has risen to a deeply overcast sky, and my coffee is delicious as I sit in a blue bathrobe and contemplate the idea that things have happened…

• Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers.
• I had a great mom for over 53 years. This is my first Mother’s Day without one, though my life is enriched with other mothers.
• You know what mothers like? Not having their loved ones shot. They all like that. It’s true.
• Yesterday, moms across the nation participated in rally events organized by Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America. Specifically, the group wants the AR-15, a firearm used in many mass shootings, to be banned in the U.S.
• That weapon was banned in the USA from 1994-2004, when Republicans lifted the ban and mass shootings immediately skyrocketed once again.
• “I’m a mom and all I want for Mother’s Day is an end to gun violence,” said CA Assemblymember Laura Friedman.
• It truly will be a joyous day when I can wake up on one fucking Sunday and not read about a mass shooting over the previous couple of days.
• Yesterday afternoon, multiple people were shot in a barbershop in Albany, NY, including a child. A 9-year-old boy was shot in the torso, one 19-year-old was shot in the shoulder and another man in the torso. 
• One of the victims, a 47-year-old male, was taken to the Albany Medical Center Hospital where he died.
• Was that the only shooting of the weekend thus far? In America? Please.
• Two people are dead and five others were injured in a Yuma,AZ shooting. A guy in Iowa City, IA. A guy in Columbus, OH. A guy in St. Paul, MN. A guy at a gas station in Atlanta, GA. One dead, four injured in Louisville, KY. Three in a Chicago drive-by. And more.
• I have some good projectile weapon news, though. 
• A Michigan girl was able to escape an attempted kidnapping when her brother used a slingshot to strike the would-be attacker.
• The 8-year-old girl was in her backyard when the assailant came out of the woods, grabbed her and covered her mouth. The girl’s brother, 13, hit the alleged attacker in the head and chest using a slingshot. The girl escaped and the attacker was arrested, easily identifiable from his  wounds via the slingshot.
• That’s impressive. You can fuck someone up if you’re good with a slingshot. If you think about it, a slingshot is much closer to the weapons that were in place when the Founders wrote the Second Amendment.
• Moving on…
• I mentioned yesterday that today is the election in Turkey that might finally rid the world of right-wing autocrat President Recep Tayyip Erdogan.
• If they do, it won’t be with the help of Twitter. 
• Elon Musk's reputation as a free speech absolutist took another hit yesterday after Twitter sided with the Turkish government and censored the accounts of political opponents ahead of the contentious election.
• “The day before a critical election in Turkey, Twitter appears to be acquiescing to the demands of the country's autocratic ruler, Erdogan, and is censoring speech on the platform. Given Twitter's total lack of transparency, it is hard to avoid the conclusion that Musk's promises of free speech have again fallen away.” - Rep. Adam Schiff (D-CA)
• Musk tried to justify his censorship by stating, “The choice is have Twitter throttled in its entirety or limit access to some tweets. Which one do you want?”
• Well, Jimmy Wales, the founder of Wikipedia, chimed in on the thread, saying: “What Wikipedia did: we stood strong for our principles and fought to the Supreme Court of Turkey and won. This is what it means to treat freedom of expression as a principle rather than a slogan.”
• Has Twitter become less likely to censor Tweets since Musk’s takeover? Nope, the opposite. Musk's Twitter has complied with more than 80% of government requests for censorship or surveillance of users, up from a compliance rate of about 50% before his leadership.
• What a bullshit artist. Moving on…
• You know George Santos (R-NY), the congressman who lied about everything and has now been charged with 13 federal crimes? Turns out his staff isn’t much better.
• Viswanag “Vish” Burra, a convicted drug dealer and Santos’ director of operations, is currently in hot water after he relentlessly made menacing sexual comments via Twitter to freelance reporter Jacqueline Sweet. I won’t repeat them here.
• This is your Republican party. They think rape and sexual assault and harassment is funny. They are unified in their desire to force women to have birth after being forcibly impregnated.
• And if your friends or relatives or colleagues vote for them, that’s what they want too. Keep it in mind.
• And now, The Weather: “Emotion Sickness” by Queens of the Stone Age
• In other weather news, former president and purveyor of sexual assaults Donnie Trump was slated to hold an outdoor rally in Des Moines, IA, but had to cancel because of a tornado warning.
• Don’t say a tornado never did anything good for anyone.
• In yet more weather news, there’s a sizzling heat wave going on in the PNW. From Oregon and Washington to British Columbia, unusually high temperatures this weekend had some areas with daily averages up to 30 degrees above normal.
• This isn’t good.
• From the Sports Desk… let’s do NHL playoffs. The Florida Panthers beat the Toronto Maple Leafs 4-1 to win their series, as did the Carolina Hurricanes over the New Jersey Devils. Two battles are still being fought in this round; the Dallas Stars and Seattle Kraken are tied 3-3, and the Vegas Golden Knights lead the Edmonton Oilers 3-2.
• Back in the NBA playoffs, the only remaining semifinal matchup ends today in Game 7 between the Celtics and 76ers. The conference Finals start on Tuesday with the Lakers heading to Denver.
• From the Non-Sports Desk… Ja Morant has his whole life ahead of him as a potential NBA superstar and is determined to fuck it up as badly as possible. 
• The Memphis Grizzlies have once again suspended him from all team activities after a video showing the star guard holding a gun began circulating on social media last night. He had a similar incident just two months ago.
• At the time, Morant was suspended eight games after meeting with NBA commissioner Adam Silver, who called Morant's conduct "irresponsible, reckless and potentially very dangerous."
• Today in history… Henry III of England is captured and forced to sign the Mise of Lewes, making Simon de Montfort the effective ruler of England (1264). English colonists establish "James Fort," which would become Jamestown, VA, the earliest permanent English settlement in the Americas (1607). Edward Jenner administers the first smallpox inoculation (1796). The last witchcraft trial held in the United States begins in Salem, MA, after Lucretia Brown, an adherent of Christian Science, accused Daniel Spofford of attempting to harm her through his mental powers (1878). Israel is declared to be an independent state and a provisional government is established (1948). Eight Communist bloc countries, including the Soviet Union, sign a mutual defense treaty called the Warsaw Pact (1955). A white mob twice attacks a Freedom Riders bus near Anniston, AL, before fire-bombing the bus and attacking the civil rights protesters who flee the burning vehicle (1961). Ten people are killed in a mass shooting in Buffalo, NY (2022).
• May 14 is the birthday of photographer Thomas Wedgwood (1771), biologist Ed Ricketts (1897), singer-songwriter/bass player Jack Bruce (1943), film director/producer George Lucas (1944), singer-songwriter David Byrne (1952), film director/producer Robert Zemeckis (1952), singer-songwriter Tom Cochrane (1953), actor Tim Roth (1961), singer-songwriter Ian Astbury (1962), guitarist C.C. DeVille (1962), bass player Mike Inez (1966), NFL player Tony Siragusa (1967), actress Cate Blanchett (1969), film director Sofia Coppola (1971), singer-songwriter Dan Auerbach (1979), NFL player Frank Gore (1983), businessman Mark Zuckerberg (1984), NFL player Clay Matthews III (1986), NFL player Rob Gronkowski (1989), and actress Miranda Cosgrove (1993).

Again, Happy Mother’s Day to all moms, former moms, future moms, substitute moms, moms of various species, and anyone else who does mom-like things. Enjoy your day.