Random News: May 3, 2023

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s May 3, 2023, and it’s a Wednesday. Things always happen, and it’s up to you whether you want to know what those things are…

• Well, this is interesting…
• Russia says it downed two drones that targeted the Kremlin in Moscow last night and accused Ukraine of attempting to assassinate President Vladimir Putin.
• Ukraine said it had nothing to do with the drone strike.
• Officials speculate that Russia may be using this supposed incident to prepare for a large-scale terrorist provocation in Ukraine.
• Mr Putin's spokesman said he had not been in the Kremlin at the time.
• I haven’t had much to say about the Russian invasion of Ukraine in recent months, but the most recent reports spell trouble for Putin.
• More than 100,000 fighters from the Kremlin’s forces have been killed or wounded since December alone, the United States now estimates. Putin now faces a second year at war with the land he seized increasingly in Kyiv's sights and with his military's struggles forcing the Kremlin to balance battlefield necessities with domestic pressures.
• A comparison: 20,000 Russians who have been killed in about six months fighting in Ukraine. Around 4,500 American troops were killed during the entire invasion of Iraq.
• It’s reported that many of the dead Russians did not have sufficient combat training, combat leadership or any sense of organizational command and control. Yikes.
• Back in the USA…
• The Defense Department will deploy 1,500 active-duty servicemembers to the southwestern U.S. border in the coming days in anticipation of a sharp increase in migrants arriving there, the Pentagon said yesterday.
• Joining roughly 2,500 National Guard troops already stationed at the border, the new service members will perform a limited support role for Customs and Border Protection agents, such as detection and monitoring on the ground, data entry or support at CBP facilities. The Department of Homeland Security requested the additional support.
• Homeland Security made the request for backup due to the scheduled end of Title 42, a policy enacted by Trump that grants authority to the U.S. government to bypass procedures in order to expel migrants in the country illegally.
• They’re expecting a surge of migrants after May 11 as a result.
• Shrug. The Republicans have long had a talking point that Democrats are in favor of open borders. I can’t think of one example where that’s ever been true. I think they’re mistaking treating brown people with some degree of dignity and compassion as some kind of weakness, instead of the strength that helped make America a great country.
• Speaking of our military…
• This Republican plan to raise the debt ceiling does not protect veterans' health benefits from massive spending cuts. We might see historic slashes to the budget of the Department of Veterans Affairs.
• The bill, which the Republican-controlled House approved last week, would eliminate 81,000 Veterans Affairs jobs, produce 30 million fewer Veterans Affairs outpatient visits and increase the disability backlog of veterans by 134,000.
• How can they claim to be pro-military when spiting in the faces of those who served?
• I think the Republican-led House is going to suffer a huge black eye for their mishandling of this entire debt ceiling process. Way to go, Kevin.
• You don’t want headlines like this one: “Speaker McCarthy is risking the American economy for a MAGA wish list”
• Moving on…
• The piece of shit who killed five of his neighbors with an AR-15 rifle in their Texas home was arrested yesterday. A tip led authorities to a house less than 20 miles from where the crimes took place.
• Fuck that guy. I have no doubt that Texas will deal with him appropriately.
• In other news…
• The Writers Guild of America is on strike, and it could end up being a long work stoppage.
• Writers and production companies are grappling with how to reconcile drastically different ideas of how the media business should handle streaming platforms.
• Why should you give a fuck? Well first, you should support the collective actions of any labor union. But secondly, nothing happens in film or TV without writers. The story itself, all the dialogue… it all stems from someone’s brain. No writers, no filmed entertainment.
• I should note that the last big writer’s strike caused the rise of reality TV… content that can be filmed with no script or storyline. And what did that lead to? Donald Trump. I rest my case. Support the writers.
• A follow-up story from yesterday…
• Oregon Secretary of State Shemia Fagan will resign next week. The resignation is the swift reaction to a mounting scandal over her decision to accept lucrative side work as a cannabis consultant. Her deputy, Cheryl Myers, will step into the position until Gov. Tina Kotek appoints a successor.
• I sympathize with her, but I also see the possible conflict of interest. She’d inked a $10,000/month contract with the owners of an Oregon cannabis chain at the same time her office audited state regulations on cannabis businesses.
• I’m still in shock that Oregon pays its state-level officials so little. Her salary of $77,000/year in most West Coast cities is somewhere near the poverty line. the median home price in Portland is well over a half million dollars. Portlanders would need a salary of $101,171 to afford the average rent.
• Moving on…
• Giant pussy Matt Gaetz (R-FL) is pressing felony battery charges against a woman who threw some wine on him.
• The woman, 41-year-old Selena Chambers of Tallahassee, threw the drink at the congressman after swearing loudly at him as she passed him at a wine festival in northwest Florida on Saturday.
• Gaetz was lightly splashed with wine but believes he will recover from the physical and mental anguish of this horrific assault.
• Some good news…
• A Utah judge has blocked the state’s ban on abortion clinics, the day before it was supposed to start taking effect.
• Utah’s House Bill 467 was signed by Republican Gov. Spencer Cox in March. The law bans abortion clinics from operating in the state beginning next year.
• District Judge Andrew Stone agreed with Planned Parenthood Association of Utah that the law was discriminatory against abortion clinics. Keep fighting.
• And now, The Weather: “Old Friend” by Jana Horn
• In January 6 news, the FBI arrested a former bureau supervisor who called for killing officers protecting the Capitol that day.
• Authorities arrested Jared L. Wise in Oregon on Monday. An FBI affidavit says he worked as a special agent and a supervisory special agent at the FBI from 2004 until 2017.
• Wise was charged with entering and remaining in a restricted building; disorderly conduct in a restricted building; disorderly conduct with an intent to impede an orderly session of Congress; and unlawfully parading, demonstrating or picketing in a Capitol building.
• As of now, federal authorities have arrested at least 1,000 people in connection with the failed coup attempt on Jan. 6, 2021, including multiple current and former law enforcement officers.
• Fuck ‘em all.
• In lighter news, one of the world’s largest online pornography sites, Pornhub, announced Utah users are being blocked because of a new state law
• Starting today, porn websites will be required to verify that users in Utah are at least 18 years old under SB287, passed unanimously by the 2023 Legislature and signed into law by Gov. Spencer Cox.
• And Pornhub was like, “Whatever. No porn for you, Utahns.” 
• Actually, their message was pretty understandable. “Giving your ID card every time you want to visit an adult platform is not the most effective solution for protecting our users, and in fact, will put children and your privacy at risk.”
• Unlike Utah, the other state that requires age validation for porn viewing is Louisiana. They created a “digital wallet” that allows a driver’s license to be used for identification without sharing personal data. Smart.
• From the Sports Desk… the 7th seed Los Angeles Lakers shocked the NBA world by going into San Francisco and beating the Golden State Warriors 117-112 in the first game of their playoff semifinal series.
• The Dubs, who are the defending champions, had been on a 14-0 run with their home crowd rocking.
• LAKERS!
• The current playoff picture has the Heat and Knicks tied at 1-1, the Sixers leading the Celtics 1-0, the Nuggets ahead of the Suns 2-0, and the aforementioned Lakers over the Warriors 1-0.
• In other NBA news, Philadelphia 76ers center Joel Embiid has earned his first MVP award. He’d finished second the past two seasons. Embiid garnered 73 of the 100 available first-place votes.
• Today in history… A total solar eclipse is visible across northern Europe and northern Asia, as predicted by Edmond Halley to within four minutes accuracy (1715). Washington, D.C. is incorporated as a city after Congress abolishes the Board of Commissioners, the District's founding government (1802). American adventurer William Walker departs from San Francisco with about 60 men to conquer Nicaragua (1855). Ireland is partitioned under British law by the Government of Ireland Act 1920, creating Northern Ireland and Southern Ireland (1921). West Virginia becomes the first state to legislate a broad sales tax, but does not implement it until a number of years later due to enforcement issues (1921). The U.S. Supreme Court rules in Shelley v. Kraemer that covenants prohibiting the sale of real estate to Blacks and other minorities are legally unenforceable (1948). The Kentucky Derby is televised nationally for the first time (1952). Walter O'Malley, the owner of the Brooklyn Dodgers, agrees to move the team from Brooklyn to Los Angeles (1957). The police force in Birmingham, Alabama switches tactics and responds with violent force to stop the "Birmingham campaign" protesters (1963). The first unsolicited bulk commercial email, which would later become known as “spam", is sent by a Digital Equipment Corporation marketing representative to every ARPANET address on the west coast of the United States (1978). Margaret Thatcher wins the United Kingdom general election and becomes the first female British Prime Minister (1979). 
• May 3 is the birthday of historian/philosopher Niccolò Machiavelli (1469), Israel prime minister Golda Meir (1898), singer/actor Bing Crosby (1903), playwright William Inge (1913), singer-songwriter/activist Pete Seeger (1919), boxer Sugar Ray Robinson (1921), singer-songwriter James Brown (1933), singer/actor Frankie Valli (1934), businessman/philanthropist David Koch (1940), MLB player Davey Lopes (1945), sportscaster Greg Gumbel (1946), singer-songwriter Christopher Cross (1951), golfer Brooks Koepka (1990), and rapper Desiigner (1997).

Alrighty. Well, that’s all the news I have time to do for you. Now I’ll do other things. Enjoy your day.