Random News: May 6, 2023

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s May 6, 2023, and it’s a Saturday. I’m a guy in a bathrobe who seems to know things, so allow me to share them with you…

• Might as well get this out of the way.
• Today was the coronation of King Charles III and Queen Camilla of the United Kingdom at Westminster Abbey.
• I really have no opinion about any of it. It’s not my country. It’s not my set of traditions or ceremonies. I definitely didn’t wake up early to watch any of it. I’ve seen a few pics. Looks like a bunch of very wealthy people with a lot of crowns and jewels and scepters and swords and chalices and gold plated things.
• I am well versed in history and the study of Western civilizations. I know a reasonable amount about the lineage of the royal family. I just have no personal investment in what goes on in the UK or other commonwealth countries beyond things that might actually affect me.
• I’m way more interested in music being made in the UK than I am in the person who holds this ceremonial title and his family.
• I’ve been aware of Charles my whole life. He seems like a typical person, with good sides and huge flaws and all the rest.
• One factoid, I guess: he’s by far the oldest person to become monarch of the UK. He was 73 when his mother Queen Elizabeth II passed away last year, and turned 74 shortly after. The previous record holder was William IV, who was 64 when he became king in 1830.
• So, it might be a relatively short reign, is what I’m saying. The heir apparent is his eldest son William, Prince of Wales, who is currently 40.
• Last note: the line of royal succession is somewhat confusing, but it goes as such…

1. The Prince of Wales (William, age 40)
2. Prince George of Wales (age 9)
3. Princess Charlotte of Wales (age 8)
4. Prince Louis of Wales (age 5)
5. The Duke of Sussex (Henry, age 38)
6. Prince Archie of Sussex (age 4)
7. Princess Lilibet of Sussex (age 23 months)

• And final note… some MAGA-ish people are butthurt that Joe Biden didn’t attend the coronation. Guess how many US presidents have attended UK monarch coronations?
• Exactly none. We do have a “special relationship” with the UK and they are one of our closest allies and all that, but we also fought a whole-ass war with them that resulted in the creation of our country and so on and so forth.
• First Lady Jill Biden did attend. Nice of her.
• Okay, I’m done. Best of luck in your reign, Charles. Hope it all goes well, whatever you do, which I’m still unclear about.
• Moving on…
• Yesterday it was announced that at least eight of the Republican “fake electors” in Georgia have accepted immunity deals in an ongoing criminal investigation into efforts by Donald Trump and his allies to overturn the 2020 election there.
• Fulton County District Attorney Fani Willis had previously notified all 16 GOP fake electors in Georgia that they were targets in her investigation.
• The district attorney’s office said in an earlier court filing that the fake electors had begun incriminating one another. Willis says that she plans to make an announcement on possible charges against Trump or his allies between July 11 and September 1.
• Go Fani.
• In other news…
• Yesterday, the DOJ handed down the longest prison sentence for anyone accused of illegal actions in the January 6, 2021 failed coup attempt. Peter Schwartz of Kentucky has been sentenced to over 14 years in prison for assaulting police with pepper spray on that fateful day. 
• During the insurrection at the Capitol, Schwartz handed out pepper spray canisters to others in the mob so they could use them against police, and Schwartz then began spraying “indiscriminately” at police officers.
• Schwartz is a career criminal with 38 convictions since 1991. Despite that, he raised over $71,000 from an online campaign entitled “Patriot Pete Political Prisoner in DC.”
• MAGAs are easily grifted.
• I’m sure many of those people have “back the blue” and “thin blue line” bumper stickers, and yet contribute to a guy who’s entire mission was to injure and possibly kill police officers that day.
• As a result, prosecutors asked Judge Mehta to also order Schwartz to pay a fine equaling the amount raised by his campaign, arguing that he shouldn’t profit from participating in the riot.
• One more Jan 6 news items today.
• Per papers filed yesterday, the Justice Department is seeking 25 years in prison for Stewart Rhodes, the Oath Keepers founder convicted of seditious conspiracy in November.
• 25 years. I genuinely hope he gets the whole sentence and serves every minute. It will happen again and again unless people understand the consequences of their choices and actions.
• Moving on…
• I haven’t discussed the murder of Jordan Neely, the guy in the NY subway who was choked to death by ex-Marine Daniel Penny. Neely was a houseless Michael Jackson impersonator with a history of mental illness who was shouting at passengers.
• Penny, 24, put him in a chokehold and he died. It’s a homicide in any case, but as to if and how and when Penny will be charged remains a mystery. I assume he’s going to make some sort of self-defense claim despite the fact that Neely didn’t not physically assault anyone.
• So… I guess I’ll wait and learn more about that.
• More and more news continues to trickle out about the ethics infractions against SCOTUS justice Clarence Thomas. 
• The most recent allegation is that his wife Ginni Thomas was paid tens of thousands of dollars for consulting work, set up by conservative activist Leonard Leo. Leo specified there should be "no mention of Ginni" in any paperwork.
• That doesn’t look sketchy at all. By the way, who was the lawyer who coordinated those massive payments to Ginni? That would be Kellyanne Conway.
• America’s trust in the Supreme Court as an impartial body who can interpret our Constitution without sway of outside influence is rapidly diminishing.
• Sad.
• And now, The Weather: “Clementine” by T.Evann
• From the Sports Desk… the Celtics beat the Sixers yesterday, giving them a 2-1 lead in their series. The Suns grabbed a game from the Nuggets, bringing their series to 2-1 as well. 
• New York/Miami and LA/Golden State have their game 3’s today.
• Today in history… The Siege of Cuzco commences, in which Incan forces attempt to retake the city of Cuzco from the Spanish (1536). A faction of the British Army removes Richard Cromwell as Lord Protector of the Commonwealth and reinstalls the Rump Parliament (1659). Louis XIV of France moves his court to the Palace of Versailles (1682). Arkansas secedes from the Union (1861). Chief Crazy Horse of the Oglala Lakota surrenders to United States troops in Nebraska (1877). The Eiffel Tower is officially opened to the public at the Universal Exposition in Paris (1889). George V becomes King of Great Britain, Ireland, and many overseas territories, on the death of his father, Edward VII (1910). Babe Ruth, then a pitcher for the Boston Red Sox, hits his first major league home run (1915). Thirty-six people are killed when the German zeppelin Hindenburg catches fire and is destroyed within a minute while attempting to dock at Lakehurst, NJ (1937). John Steinbeck is awarded the Pulitzer Prize for his novel ‘The Grapes of Wrath’ (1940). Roger Bannister becomes the first person to run the mile in under four minutes (1954). Elizabeth II of the United Kingdom and French President François Mitterrand officiate at the opening of the Channel Tunnel (1994). Steve Jobs of Apple Inc. unveils the first iMac (1998). In just 36 minutes, the Dow-Jones average plunged nearly 1,000 points in what is known as the 2010 Flash Crash (2010).
• May 6 is the birthday of politician Maximilien Robespierre (1758), neurologist/psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud (1856), explorer Robert Peary (1856), activist/politician Motilal Nehru (1861), actor Rudolph Valentino (1895), actor/director Orson Welles (1915), physicist/astronomer Robert H. Dicke (1916), MLB player Willie Mays (1931), singer-songwriter Bob Seger (1945), UK prime minister Tony Blair (1953), actor George Clooney (1961), guitarist Chris Shiflett (1971), NHL player Martin Brodeur (1972), NBA player Chris Paul (1985), rapper Meek Mill (1987), and MLB player José Altuve (1990).

Okay. I gotta shower and dress and do things. Not sure what they’ll be, but things should be done. Enjoy your day.