Random News: September 2, 2023

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s September 2, 2023, and it’s a Saturday. I slept in a bit today on the start of a three-day weekend here in the USA, and now I’m sipping a cup of Peet’s Guatemala San Sebastian, a single-origin offer from the Antigua Valley of Guatemala, offering a complex and bold flavor profile of vanilla orchid, bittersweet chocolate, and Guayaba pastille. It’s really pretty good.

• I normally start things off with some hard-hitting news, but this does indeed hit hard: RIP to Jimmy Buffett, who died yesterday at age 76.
• Everyone knows Jimmy for at least the song “Margavitaville”, and might also be aware that he owned a couple of restaurant chains.
• Something you probably don’t know. Despite a low-income upbringing, Jimmy was one of the world’s wealthiest musicians with a net worth of over $1 billion.
• And much more impressive to me: Jimmy was involved in a multitude of charitable efforts, and was a major supporter of liberal causes and Democratic politicians, having held fundraising events for Hillary Clinton and many others. He was a good dude all-around.
• Let’s do some news.
• Yesterday, Proud Boys members Dominic Pezzola and Ethan Nordean were sentenced for their roles in the January 6, 2021 failed coup attempt.
• Nordean, one of the leaders of the group, was sentenced to 18 years in prison, and Pezzola, who became one of the more recognizable faces of the Jan. 6 Capitol attack after video showed him smashing a Capitol window with a riot shield, was sentenced to 10 years in prison.
• Unlike his co-defendants, including Proud Boys leader Enrique Tarrio, Pezzola was acquitted by a jury of the most severe charge of seditious conspiracy. But Pezzola did what many MAGA types tend to do, metaphorically shooting himself in his own dick by screaming, “Trump won!” as he was led from the court. Previously, he’d been crying and begging forgiveness.
• He probably isn’t smart enough to know that the DOJ can and probably will appeal his sentence to get more time in prison, and use his utterance as evidence that he was never truly contrite.
• Enrique Tarrio's day in court is approaching -- he is scheduled to be sentenced on Tuesday.
• Moving on…
• Could a Democrat replace Sen. Mitch McConnell to represent Kentucky? If Mitch were to step down, Gov. Andy Beshear might be tasked with appointing a replacement.
• Beshear would not speculate on the matter. “There is no Senate vacancy. Senator McConnell has said he’s going to serve out his term, and I believe him, so I’m not going to speculate about something that hasn’t happened and isn’t going to happen.”
• Probably a good idea.
• If Mitch were to suddenly vacate the role, it would be a different story. Regardless of who ends up representing the people of Kentucky, the bigger question is who would be the next Senate Minority Leader. It comes down to three senior GOP Senators named John: Thune (SD), Cornyn (TX), and Barasso (WY).
• They’re all every bit as awful as Mitch, so they’d fit right in.
• In other news, President Biden is in Florida right now, getting a firsthand view of the damage caused by Hurricane Idalia. 
• In addition to surveying the destruction, Joe will be meeting members of the community impacted by the hurricane, as a President should.
• Moving on…
• We’ll be talking more about the Labor Day holiday on the actual date of the holiday, but I’ll briefly mention that if you like work holidays, or three-day weekends, or weekends at all, you know who to thank, right?
• These are all liberal concepts that conservative fought bitterly against and lost. Any day you have where you’re not being forced to work is the result of the efforts of liberal people.
• You’re welcome.
• Speaking of the conservative Republicans, I’m excited to find out how they’re planning on helping the American people when they return from their long summer vacations. Will it be to boost the economy? To figure out a better health care plan for all citizens? To start addressing the more and more dire results of man-assisted climate change?
• No. House speaker Kevin McCarthy says that the top order of business will be to figure out some way to impeach President Joe Biden.
• I’m sure that’s important to all of you. Ha!
• Let’s do some Don the Con news.
• Fulton Country District Attorney Fani Willis has implied that former White House chief of staff Mark Meadows may have committed perjury in his unexpected witness stand appearance earlier this week. Ruh-roh.
• "And after insisting that he did not play 'any role' in the coordination of slates of 'fake electors' throughout several states, the defendant was forced to acknowledge under cross-examination that he had in fact given direction to a campaign official in this regard," Willis wrote.
• These guys keep committing crimes to try and cover up their other crimes.
• The bigger news in regard to Meadows’ testimony as that it’s going to blow back on Trump himself. Everything he said pointed to that he was doing his criminal actions on direct order of the former president.
• Let’s move on.
• In really bad news, North Carolina is going to make it more difficult to vote by mail. The Republican-controlled state legislature is expected to override a veto from Gov. Roy Cooper on a sweeping absentee ballot bill.
• NC Senate Bill 747 would reduce the period of time an absentee ballot can be received in order to count, as well as increase signature scrutiny and other measures which advocates say would result in less rightful votes being counted.
• Remember: Republicans always want to make it harder to vote and to count as few votes as possible. That’s their only hope of winning, by subverting democracy.
• That being said, here’s a new law in a conservative state that I agree with: a new law in Texas requires convicted drunk drivers to pay child support if they kill a child’s parent or guardian, according to House Bill 393.
• The law went into effect yesterday. It says those convicted of intoxication manslaughter must pay restitution. The offender will be expected to make those payments until the child is 18 or until the child graduates from high school, “whichever is later,” the legislation says.
• Don’t drink or use drugs and drive. End of fucking story.
• Here’s a new Texas law that didn’t work out. A federal judge temporarily blocked the state from enforcing a law requiring pornography sites to implement age-verification measures, after finding the law unconstitutional.
• U.S. District Judge David Alan Ezra said the law violates the First Amendment because it “substantially regulates protected speech, is severely underinclusive, and uses overly restrictive enforcement methods.”
• Do you know how much porn is viewed in Texas? Neither do I, but it’s a lot.
• Let’s move northward to the state of my birth, Ohio.
• The wording of a proposed constitutional amendment on Ohio’s fall ballot to ensure abortion rights seems straightforward: It would enshrine the right “to make and carry out one’s own reproductive decisions.”
• But voters are getting a different message from the measure’s opponents. They are characterizing it as threatening a wide range of parental rights.
• Do not listen to that shit. Women deserve the right for the state not to control their reproductive freedom. This isn’t just a blue-vs-red state issue; measures protecting access to abortion have succeeded in Democratic- and Republican-leaning states, including California, Kansas, Kentucky, Michigan, Montana, and Vermont.
• Ohio will join them in November. Laws restricting abortion are immensely unpopular, and candidates who support those laws should be removed ASAP.
• And now, The Weather: “So You Are Tired” by Sufjan Stevens
• Another noteworthy RIP this morning to former U.N. Ambassador and New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson, who helped negotiate release of detained Americans. He has died at age 75.
• Richardson was also a candidate for the Democratic nomination for the 2008 presidential election but eventually dropped out and endorsed Barack Obama for the Democratic nomination.
• From the Sports Desk… oh my sweet lord, NFL football is back. I am super excited. Here’s the week one schedule, but the first game being played on Thursday Sep 7, the rest of them on Sunday Sep 10, and the Monday night game on Sep 11.
• Detroit at Kansas City, Carolina at Atlanta, Cincinnati at Cleveland, Jacksonville at Indianapolis, Tampa Bay at Minnesota, Tennessee at New Orleans, San Francisco at Pittsburgh, Arizona at Washington, Houston at Baltimore, Green Bay at Chicago, Las Vegas at Denver, Philadelphia at New England, Miami at Los Angeles Chargers, Los Angeles Rams at Seattle, Dallas at New York Giants, Buffalo at New York Jets.
• Today in history… Pharaoh Cleopatra VII of Egypt declares her son co-ruler as Ptolemy XV Caesarion — it doesn’t last long (44 BC). Cicero launches the first of his oratorical attacks — Philippicae — on Mark Antony (44 BC). The Great Fire of London breaks out and burns for three days, destroying 10,000 buildings (1666). The United States Department of the Treasury is founded (1789). Vice President Theodore Roosevelt utters the famous phrase, "Speak softly and carry a big stick.” (1901). Arthur Rose Eldred becomes first Eagle Scout of the Boy Scouts of America (1912). Japan signs their official surrender in WWII aboard the battleship USS Missouri in Tokyo Bay (1945). Google launches its Google Chrome web browser (2008). 
• September 2 is the birthday of organist/composer Georg Böhm (1661), baseball player/businessman Albert Spalding (1850), pianist Horace Silver (1928), businessman Arnold Greenberg (1932), businessman Peter Ueberroth (1937), singer-songwriter/keyboardist Billy Preston (1946), NBA player Nate Archibald (1948), NFL player Terry Bradshaw (1948), teacher/astronaut Christa McAuliffe (1948), actor Mark Harmon (1951), tennis player Jimmy Connors (1952), skateboarder Tony Alva (1957), keyboardist/composer Steve Porcaro (1957), NFL player Eric Dickerson (1960), actor Keanu Reeves (1964), actress Salma Hayek (1966), singer-songwriter K-Ci (1969), and comedian Katt Williams (1971).

It’s drizzling and overcast but oddly warm here. I’m going to… I don’t know what. Do something. Maybe not. Enjoy your day.