Random News: January 11, 2024

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s January 11, 2024, and it’s a Thursday for some reason. My name is Zak, and I’m overworked in recent times, and trying not to lose my mind every moment of every day. Apart from that, I’m feeling pretty good, so let’s take a look at the news and the world around us.

• We’re now less than 300 days out from what might be the most important elections in our lifetime… one that will be viewed by future generations as a make-or-break point for our democracy and the future of the United States of America and the world at large.
• What can you do? That’s easy; vote, and encourage others to vote.
• The scariest thing to fascists and dictators is the people expressing their will and their power. They fear that more than anything. The more people who vote, the more likely we get a government that represents the people.
• All of the people.
• How about today, you visit the vote.org site and confirm that you are registered in your area. If  you’re not, it takes just minutes to register (or re-register, if you’ve recently moved or been purged off voter rolls).
• Take care of confirming your own voter status first, and then start helping others. It’s easy.
• Even if you’re 100 years old and never voted before, don’t be embarrassed. Just fix it and be ready to vote in 2024. The people of the world, today and in the future, depend on you!
• Some breaking news about the judge who is handling Smelly Man’s civil fraud trial, Arthur Engoron. Police on Long Island responded this morning to a bomb threat at his home. It is unclear whether Engoron was home at the time.
• The threat came hours before closing arguments in the trial were scheduled to begin today. The MAGA threat didn’t work; those arguments will proceed as planned.
• Why is MAGA so mad? Probably because yesterday, Engoron said he does not expect Dumpy to speak during closing arguments in the $370 million New York civil fraud trial against him.
• He would have allowed it except The Dumpster wouldn’t agree to conditions he set should the former president wish to give a statement.
• Good. The less I hear El Dumpo’s voice, the better my life is.
• Moving on.
• Chris Christie announced yesterday that he's suspending his campaign for the presidency. Really, his entire presidential bid was focused almost solely on criticizing Dump and making the strong case that the former president should not be the Republican nominee. 
• Christie’s path to the GOP nomination was doomed. He was not able to make the ballot in Maine, a Super Tuesday state, and did not have a substantial ground game in any state outside of New Hampshire.
• The two remaining viable GOP nominees apart from The Dumpster — Ron DeSantis and Nikki Haley — squared off last night in a tense debate, trading barbs just days before the Iowa caucuses.
• Both teams claimed victory. I say neither teams matters for shit. Barring some act of God or other deity of choice, Dump will be the GOP nominee and will face Biden in November.
• Interestingly, most research says that Joe Biden has a better chance of beating Dump in November than either DeSantis or Haley.
• While that debate was going on, Dumpy was doing a town hall event a short distance away. He got asked about his take on the removal of rights for women in the USA to control their own reproductive choices.
• He responded,”For 54 years they were trying to get Roe v. Wade terminated, and I did it. And I’m proud to have done it.”
• So there you go. He did it, and if you support the idea that men should dictate to women whether or not they are allowed to have sex or birth children, you should probably vote for Trump as well.
• And I pity you, if that’s the case.
• Shall we do some better political news? I think we should.
• Yesterday, the Virginia General Assembly unanimously elected Democrat Don Scott as house speaker. Scott is now the first Black speaker in the Virginia House of Delegates' history.
• Delegate Scott approached the podium to cheers and a standing ovation as he took the oath of office and began his term as the leader of the House. He teared up as he thanked his 88 year old mother and his wife, who were watching from the gallery.
• Now let’s turn our attention back to the insane and ridiculous Republican party.
• A pair of Republican-led House committees voted last night to approve a report recommending a contempt of Congress resolution against Hunter Biden for his failure to comply with a subpoena, hours after the president’s son made a surprise visit to Capitol Hill.
• In a surprising turn of events Wednesday morning, Hunter Biden made a short appearance right as House Republicans were starting their two committee meetings. His appearance that morning completely flustered all the Republicans, who didn’t know what to do or how to react.
• Then, in what I’d call a total baller move, Hunter Biden got up and left just as Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene been to speak, and every single reporters in the room jumped up and ran out to follow him.
• Side note: I don’t give two shits about any of the politicians’ children. If they commit crimes, they should receive a trial like anyone else.
• This is just a sideshow of MAGA reps following their leader’s orders. None of it matters in any way to any American.
• Moving on.
• Some 20 million people have signed up for health insurance this year through the Affordable Care Act marketplaces, a record-breaking figure.
• Donnie Dump has vowed to dismantle the extremely popular Obama-era program.
• What a buffoon.
• Hey remember the pandemic? Yeah, that never actually ended.
• Almost 10,000 coronavirus deaths were reported in December, and admissions to hospitals and intensive care units surged. Data indicated that holiday gatherings fueled increased transmission of the virus.
• There was a 42 percent increase in hospitalizations and a 62 percent increase in ICU admissions from the previous month.
• In case you were wondering, I am still masking up in crowded public situations. That being said, I don’t live my life filled with virus paranoia. I go out to restaurants, go shopping, and do all the things I’ve always done. I just wear a mask when it seems smart.
• And now, The Weather: “Trust” by Devansh
• I’ll remind you — in case you haven’t looked out a window — that severe weather is still impacting much of the USA. As Bob Dylan once sang, you don’t need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows.
• Stay safe out there.
• Here’s a list of the most wealthy musicians in the world. Note that in many cases, the majority of their wealth stems from business ventures beyond their music.
• 1. Jay Z ($2.5 billion).  2. Rihanna ($1.4 billion). 3. Andrew Lloyd Webber ($1.3 billion). 4. Paul McCartney ($1.2 billion). 5. Jimmy Buffett ($1 billion). 6. P-Diddy ($900 million). 7. Herb Alpert ($900 million). 8. Madonna ($850 million). 9. Dr Dre ($850 million). 10. Bono ($800 million). 11. Taylor Swift ($740 million).  12. Dolly Parton ($650 Million). 13. Bruce Springsteen ($650 Million). 14. Julio Iglesias ($600 Million). 15. Kanye West ($400 million).
• I think Taylor will be closer to McCartney the next time they throw around these numbers.
• From the Sports Desk… a couple of unthinkable NFL coaching changes have happened in the 24 hours.
• Starting with breaking news from a few minutes ago: Bill Belichick and the New England Patriots are parting ways, ending an unmatched run in NFL history that included six Super Bowl titles.
• Also, after 14 seasons, 10 playoff appearances, and the franchise's lone Super Bowl championship, Pete Carroll is out as head coach of the Seattle Seahawks.
• The Sports Desk also notes that Alabama football coach Nick Saban is retiring after 17 seasons with the Crimson Tide.
• I go all year long with barely a mention of NFL coaches or the NCAA in any aspect, and yet both topics bulldozed their way into my news multiple times in a single week. Let this not be a trend.
• Today in history… In Constantinople, a quarrel between supporters of different chariot teams—the Blues and the Greens—in the Hippodrome escalates into violence (532). First recorded lottery in England (1569). William Herschel discovers Titania and Oberon, two moons of Uranus (1787). Alabama secedes from the United States (1861). Grand Canyon National Monument is created (1908). Leonard Thompson becomes the first person to be injected with insulin (1922). Louis B. Mayer, head of film studio Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, announces the creation of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences at a banquet in Los Angeles, CA (1927). Amelia Earhart becomes the first person to fly solo from Hawaii to California (1935). The first "networked" television broadcasts took place as KDKA-TV in Pittsburgh, PA goes on the air connecting the east coast and mid-west programming (1949). Surgeon General of the United States Dr. Luther Terry, M.D., publishes the landmark report ‘Smoking and Health: Report of the Advisory Committee to the Surgeon General of the United States’ saying that smoking may be hazardous to health, sparking national and worldwide anti-smoking efforts (1964). East Pakistan renames itself Bangladesh (1972). Major League Baseball owners vote in approval of the American League adopting the designated hitter position (1973). Municipal health officials in Wuhan announce the first recorded death from COVID-19 (2020).
• January 11 is the birthday of religious leader/poet Wang Chongyang (1113), economist/politician Alexander Hamilton (1755), businessman/philanthropist Ezra Cornell (1807), Canada prime minister John A. Macdonald (1815), chemist Albert Hofmann (1906), engineer/race car driver Carroll Shelby (1923), singer-songwriter Slim Harpo (1924), Canada prime minister Jean Chrétien (1934), saxophonist/songwriter Clarence Clemons (1942), singer-songwriter Naomi Judd (1946), keyboardist/songwriter Tony Kaye (1946), guitarist Lee Ritenour (1952), NBA player Darryl Dawkins (1957), guitarist/songwriter Vicki Peterson (1958), singer-songwriter Mary J. Blige (1971), and actress Amanda Peet (1972).

That seems like enough news. I’ve been tremendously productive in recent weeks, and this annual period of work insanity is nearing the finish line, thankfully. I might make it through and not go completely insane, but no guarantees. Enjoy your day.