Random News: April 17, 2024

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s April 17, 2024, and it’s a Wednesday. I’m your host for today’s round of this and that, comings and goings, and things and stuff and whatnot. Time to crack open the news and see what’s important to some of us.

• Starting with reporting on Day 2 of the criminal hush-money trial for Sleepy Don.
• And yes, he fell asleep again in court yesterday. Multiple times. That guy definitely has some major health issue(s) going on. I mean, he does turn 78 in June, and not every older person has the stamina of a guy like Joe Biden.
• He did wake up enough at one point to gesture at and speak audibly in the direction of a potential juror who was being questioned.
• Judge Juan Merchan issued a stern warning to the Nappy Nincompoop for his reaction to the juror in the courtroom. But it was just that, for now — a warning — not to do it again. "I will not have any jurors intimidated in the courtroom," said Merchan after the juror left the court.
• Can Dump’s lawyers just reject every potential juror? Nope.
• Both the prosecution and defense get 10 strikes, no questions asked, for jurors who are not being dismissed for a specific cause. In the instances in which either side is successful in dismissing a potential juror for cause, it does not have to use a strike. Yesterday, for example, Dumpy’s team sought to dismiss a juror who made a celebratory video when Dump lost in 2020.
• I mean, I did too. I really did. There was dancing and singing.
• Both sides have each used six preemptive strikes so far, leaving each side four strikes left.
• Anyway, they seemed to have a super productive day yesterday, seating seven jurors. That leaves six to go, and six alternates. They seem to be ahead of schedule.
• Want to know about the jury thus far? Why not… this shit is gonna be everywhere soon enough.
• Juror 1 (who will be the foreperson) is originally from Ireland. Works in sales; married, no kids. Reads the New York Times and Daily Mail; watches some Fox News and MSNBC.
• Juror 2: Oncology nurse, native New Yorker, reads the Times, watches CNN.
• Juror 3: Corporate lawyer from Oregon. Gets news from NYT, WSJ, Google. Young guy, never married, no kids. Hmm.
• Juror 4: Older Puerto Rican man, married with adult children and two grandkids. Has an IT business for training and consulting. Said he finds Trump fascinating and mysterious. Fuck.
• Juror 5: Young Black woman who teaches English language in a public school. Master’s degree in education. Not married, no kids. Was not aware Dump is facing other charges.
• Juror 6: Software engineer at a large broadcast company. Recent college grad. Not married, no kids, currently living with three roommates. Gets her news from NYT, Google, Facebook, and TikTok.
• Cute side note on Number 6. She asked the judge whether her sister’s wedding on a Sunday in September would be a scheduling conflict. Merchan quipped, “If we were still here in September, that would be a big problem,” and the whole courtroom busted out in laughter.
• Except the sleepy guy in front.
• Juror 7: Civil litigator, married, two kids, lives on the Upper East Side…. ooh, fancy. Reads NYT, WSJ, New York Post, and Washington Post.
• So, that’s seven down, five to go, plus six alternates.
• There are no proceedings today in the trial; they are taking each Wednesday off. At least Sleepy Don will get his nap time today. Maybe he’ll be less cranky.
• Let’s move over to some world news.
• It seems clear that Israel, despite the advice of its allies, is going to retaliate against Iran after their drone and missile attack over last weekend.
• Israeli officials have not said how or when they might strike. Regardless, there is no situation where a direct Israeli attack on Iranian soil wouldn’t lead to major fallout.
• As a reminder, Iran claims that their strike on Israel was to avenge an Israeli airstrike that killed two Iranian generals in Syria on April 1. It has pledged a much tougher response to any Israeli counterattack attack on its soil.
• Being logical on this… Israel is already focused on its war against Hamas in Gaza. They are already battling Iranian-backed Hezbollah militants in Lebanon. Is a direct attack on Iran even feasible?
• How does Iran feel about this? Well, today, President Ebrahim Raisi stated that Saturday’s attack on Israel was a limited one, and that if Iran was provoked to carry out a bigger attack, "nothing would remain from the Zionist regime.”
• Can we just not?
• Back in the USA…
• House Speaker Mike Johnson’s (R-LA) job is in deeper jeopardy as two far-right members are now threatening to oust him after he proposed a complex plan intended to fund key foreign allies during wartime.
• During a weekly Republican meeting yesterday morning, Rep. Thomas Massie (R-KY) stood up and called on Johnson to resign. Massie also signed on to Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene’s (R-GA) plan to depose him via a motion to vacate.
• Man. How embarrassing it would be to be a Republican right now? I can’t even imagine.
• Meanwhile, the Supreme Court was busy hearing arguments about the poor people who mounted an insurrection on January 6, 2021, and whether they should be treated more leniently.
• The justices heard arguments over the charge of obstruction of an official proceeding in the case of Joseph Fischer, a former Pennsylvania police officer who has been indicted for his role in disrupting Congress’ certification of Joe Biden’s 2020 presidential election victory over Dump. Fischer is one of 330 people facing that charge… and another is Dump himself. 
• And next week, the justices will hear arguments over whether Dumpy has “absolute immunity” from prosecution in that case, a proposition that has so far been rejected by two lower courts.
• In much less significant but humorous SCOTUS news, they also denied a petition by MyPillow founder and election denier Mike Lindell to consider his challenge to the legality of the FBI’s seizure of his cellphone at a restaurant drive-through.
• Snort. Three lower court rulings in the case already went against Lindell. Fuck that guy.
• A quick mention of the debacle of Dump’s Truth Social stock collapse.
• One thing that’s not mentioned enough are the poor folks who actually believed in this as a good investment instead of a scam.
• I’ve read reports of families in the South and Midwest who cashed out money from 401k's, other stock, life savings, and home equity to buy Dump’s stock, not knowing that it was meant to fail the whole time.
• Shares of the stock tumbled another 14% yesterday after closing 18% lower Monday. Driving the stock lower Tuesday: Truth Social announced a major expansion into streaming, a notoriously cost-intensive business in which media behemoths like Disney have struggled to turn a profit.
• The stock is down more than 70% from the all-time high it set on March 26.
• I genuinely feel badly for the folks who thought it was legit.
• And now, The Weather: “On Fire” by IDAHO
• From the Sports Desk… a little reminder of how the modern NBA playoffs work.
• In addition to the top six seeds in each conference, there is a mini play-in tournament to determine the seventh and eighth playoff spots. Each play-in game is single-elimination.
• So, the current playoff schedule is as follows…
• Eastern Conference: 1-seed Boston Celtics vs. 8-seed TBD. 2-seed New York Knicks vs. 7-seed TBD. 3-seed Milwaukee Bucks vs. 6-seed Indiana Pacers. 4-seed Cleveland Cavaliers vs. 5-seed Orlando Magic.
• Eastern play-in teams: 76ers, Heat, Bulls, and Hawks.
• Western Conference: 1-seed Oklahoma City Thunder (1) vs. 8-seed TBD. 2-seed Denver Nuggets vs. 7-seed Los Angeles Lakers. 3-seed Minnesota Timberwolves vs. 6-seed Phoenix Suns. 4-seed LA Clippers vs. 5-seed Dallas Mavericks.
• Western play-in teams: Pelicans, Lakers, Kings, and Warriors.
• The play-in tourney started last night with Lakers beating the Pelicans 110-106, and the Kings beating up the Warriors 118-94. Tonight has the Heat at Sixers and Hawks at Bulls.
• Today in history… Trial of Martin Luther over his teachings begins during the assembly of the Diet of Worms (1521). The state of Virginia's secession convention votes to secede from the United States, later becoming the eighth state to join the Confederate States of America (1861). Confederate forces attack Plymouth, NC (1864). The Supreme Court of the United States decides Lochner v. New York, which holds that the "right to free contract" is implicit in the due process clause of the Fourteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution (1905). The Ellis Island immigration center processes 11,747 people, more than on any other day (1907). A group of Cuban exiles financed and trained by the CIA lands at the Bay of Pigs in Cuba with the aim of ousting Fidel Castro (1961). Sirhan Sirhan is convicted of assassinating Robert F. Kennedy (1969). The ill-fated Apollo 13 spacecraft returns to Earth safely (1970). NASA's Kepler space telescope confirms the discovery of the first Earth-size planet in the habitable zone of another star (2014). 
• April 17 is the birthday of poet/playwright John Ford (1586), SCOTUS justice Samuel Chase (1741), financier J. P. Morgan (1837), MLB player Cap Anson (1852), ventriloquist Señor Wences (1896), actor William Holden (1918), journalist Harry Reasoner (1923), music manager/producer Don Kirshner (1934), keyboardist Jan Hammer (1948), wrestler Roddy Piper (1954), singer-songwriter Michael Sembello (1954), DJ/producer Afrika Bambaataa (1957), NFL player Boomer Esiason (1961), singer-songwriter Liz Phair (1967), actress Jennifer Garner (1972), and actress Rooney Mara (1985).

That seems like enough news for now. I have no specific plans today other than doing work and… I can’t think of anything else. Enjoy your day.