Random News: April 30, 2024

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s April 30, 2024, and it’s a Tuesday. yesterday was a super Monday, in that I found myself getting slammed with work stuff damn near every minute from sunup to sundown. I’m hoping today is slightly more chill, though you never know. Let’s start this Tuesday with a look around this world to see what’s going on.

• Testimony continues today in the criminal hush money trial of Donnie Dump, but the court had some other business to handle first.
• Judge Merchan found that the former president and current accused felon violated a gag order nine times, fining him a total of $9,000. He also warned that Dump could be jailed if he continued to violate the gag order.
• Merchan wrote that Trump “is hereby warned that the Court will not tolerate continued willful violations of its lawful orders and that if necessary and appropriate under the circumstances, it will impose an incarceratory punishment.”
• He also stated, quite accurately, that it is a shame that he was limited by law to the maximum of $1,000 per violation, writing that it’s basically pointless in a. situation where a person held in contempt “can easily afford such a fine.”
• Today’s testimony is expected to include the third prosecution witness, Gary Farro, a banker who helped Trump’s former attorney Michael Cohen open accounts.
• Moving on.
• Tomorrow, one of the nation’s most brutal abortion laws since the fall of Roe v. Wade goes into effect in Florida.
• The cruel six-week abortion law signed by Gov. Ron DeSantis (R) last year and confirmed by the Florida Supreme Court earlier this month takes effect Wednesday.
• They chose the six-week cutoff intentionally; it’s before most women are aware or can confirm they are pregnant.
• Last year, more than 84,000 people got abortions in Florida, more than in almost any other state.
• Starting tomorrow, the closest abortion clinic for someone living at Florida’s southernmost tip will be a 14-hour drive away in Charlotte. A patient whose pregnancy has progressed beyond 12 weeks, the point at which North Carolina bans abortion, will have to drive 17 hours, to southern Virginia.
• This November, voters in Florida will have the power to vote for a referendum to enshrine women’s reproductive rights in their state’s constitution.
• Women and other Floridians will also have the opportunity to vote a good number of the people who made those laws out of office.
• But this isn’t just a red/blue, Democrat/Republican issue. People across party lines overwhelmingly support the rights of women to not be forced to give birth.
• Vote accordingly.
• In other news…
• A big win for transgender rights yesterday when a federal appellate court became the first in the country to rule that state health-care plans must pay for gender-affirming surgeries.
• The decision came from a set of cases out of North Carolina and West Virginia, where state officials argued that their policies were based on cost concerns rather than bias.
• The U.S. Court of Appeals for the 4th Circuit rejected that argument, saying the plans were discriminating against trans people in need of treatment.
• Correct. Well done, 4th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals, who ruled 8-6 in the case.
• Moving on.
• Yesterday, Israeli officials said they had reduced the number of hostages they were asking Hamas to free in exchange for a temporary cease-fire in the war in Gaza.
• It’s a sign that the two sides might be inching closer to agreeing on their first truce in five months. A new round of cease-fire negotiations could begin as soon as today.
• The details of the negotiation are a reduction of Israeli hostages from 40 to 33, in exchange for a 40-day cease-fire and the release of potentially thousands of Palestinian prisoners.
• The decision is in the hands of Hamas now.
• Let’s move on.
• We spoke extensively about Ralph Earl last year. He’s the teenager who was shot in the face when he went to the wrong house and knocked on the door to pick up his younger twin brothers.
• His family filed a civil lawsuit in Missouri yesterday against the accused shooter, Andrew Lester, and the homeowner’s association where he lives. Lester’s criminal trial is set to begin on October 7.
• The 85-year-old was charged with one count of felony assault in the first degree in connection to the April 13, 2023 shooting and one count of armed criminal action, also a felony. Lester pleaded not guilty and was released on $200,000 bond.
• Yarl, who is now 17, suffered a traumatic brain injury (TBI) from the shooting.
• In other news…
• I don’t know why I’m bothering with still talking about this guy, but former Dump adviser Peter Navarro was shot down yet again by the Supreme Court yesterday.
• Navarro is currently serving time in prison over his contempt of Congress conviction. He’d already submitted an emergency request last month that was denied by Chief Justice John Roberts, forcing Navarro to report to prison on March 19.
• Then he tried re-submitting it. No, I’m not kidding. Justice Neil Gorsuch referred the request to the full court, which then denied the request without comment.
• Ha ha! Just serve your four stupid months, you whiny baby shithead.
• Moving on.
• The fierce political fallout from South Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem (R) having shot her sweet puppy Cricket in the head has crossed party lines.
• Apparently the reason why Noem wrote about it in her book was clear: there were witnesses who watched her, in a fit of rage at the rambunctious pup, pull out her weapon and blow the dog’s brains out.
• The story was going to come out anyway as Noem grew closer to being Donald Trump’s Republican vice-presidential nominee, so she tried to control the narrative.
• It didn’t work. I would ask the people of South Dakota to consider how continuing to elect Noem to your state’s highest office reflects on you as people.
• I’d really prefer to not mention this again — it make me physically ill to think about — so let’s move on.
• Here’s another story about an animal, though one with a slightly better ending.
• Clarence Yoder of Idaho Falls, ID was visiting Yellowstone National Park and decided to kick a bison.
• The bison then injured Yoder. There’s no specific information on what the injury was, though I was hoping he was gored in the testicles.
• Anyway, park rangers arrested and jailed him after he was treated for his injuries. He was charged with being under the influence of alcohol, disorderly conduct, and approaching and disturbing wildlife.
• Leave animals alone, you fucking assholes.
• Jesus. Let’s do a happy story.
• The $1.3 billion Powerball jackpot was won by a man in Oregon named Cheng “Charlie” Saephan. He’s a 46-year-old immigrant from Laos.
• Saephan has been fighting cancer for eight years, undergoing chemotherapy treatments.
• What will do with his winnings? He merely wants to find a good doctor, and is relieved that he’ll be able to provide for his family.
• Interesting side note: Saephan is Iu Mein, a southeast Asian ethnic group with roots in southern China.
• Many Iu Mein were subsistence farmers who aided Americans during the Vietnam war, recruited by the CIA and U.S. military to engage in guerrilla warfare and to provide intelligence and surveillance to disrupt the Ho Chi Minh Trail that the North Vietnamese used to send troops and weapons through Laos and Cambodia into South Vietnam.
• After the war, many lu Mein people fled to Thailand to avoid retribution, and eventually resettled in the US.
• Okay, back to annoying news.
• Did you buy any N-95 masks during the pandemic that you still use or have around? Better give them a look.
• The Federal Trade Commission announced yesterday that a company called Razer and its affiliates advertised the Zephyr mask as N95-grade despite never submitting it for testing or certification by the Food and Drug Administration or National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health.
• The Zephyr masks were touted as the equivalent of an N95 that would protect users from COVID.
• Now they must refund more than $1.1 million to customers nationwide.
• Fuck that company. Can you imagine if you had a friend or relative who died of COVID after relying on those masks?
• And now, The Weather: “Caméra” by Corridor
• From the Sports Desk… Travis Kelce of the Kansas City Chiefs — known to many of you as Taylor Swift’s boyfriend — just became the top-paid tight end in the NFL. I thought you might like to know the current highest-paid player (based on their pay per year averaged over the next three years) at each position.
• Offense: Quarterback Joe Burrow (Bengals) - $62.9 million, Running Back Christian McCaffrey (49ers) - $17.2 million, Wide Receiver A.J. Brown (Eagles) - $32 million, Tight End Travis Kelce (Chiefs) - $17.1 million, Offensive Tackle Penei Sewell (Lions) - $28 million, Guard Chris Lindstrom (Hawks) - $21.8 million, Center Frank Ragnow (Lions) - $14 million.
• Defense: Cornerback Jaire Alexander (Packers) - $21.8 million, Safety Derwin James Jr. (Chargers) - $19.6 million, Edge Rusher Nick Bosa (49ers) - $34.7 million, Defensive Tackle Chris Jones (Chiefs) - $31.7 million, Linebacker Roquan Smith (Ravens) - $20 million.
• Special Teams: Kicker Justin Tucker (Ravens) - $6.2 million, Long Snapper Luke Rhodes (Colts) - $1.67 million, Punter Michael Dickson (Seahawks) - $3.9 million.
• If you were wondering about the highest total guaranteed money in the NFL, that would go to Browns QB Deshaun Watson, who will take home $230 million regardless of any other factor.
• Today in history… Henry IV of France issues the Edict of Nantes, allowing freedom of religion to the Huguenots (1598). On the balcony of Federal Hall on Wall Street in New York City, George Washington takes the oath of office to become the first President of the United States (1789). The United States purchases the Louisiana Territory from France for $15 million, more than doubling the size of the young nation (1803). The Territory of Orleans becomes the 18th U.S. state under the name Louisiana (1812). J. J. Thomson announces his discovery of the electron as a subatomic particle, over 1,800 times smaller than a proton, at a lecture at the Royal Institution in London (1897). Hawaii becomes a territory of the United States, with Sanford B. Dole as governor (1900). Automaker Dodge Brothers, Inc is sold to Dillon, Read & Co. for $146 million plus $50 million for charity (1925). NBC inaugurates its regularly scheduled television service in New York City, broadcasting President Franklin D. Roosevelt's N.Y. World's Fair opening day ceremonial address (1939). Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun commit suicide after being married for less than 40 hours (1945). In Nevada, Boulder Dam is renamed Hoover Dam (1947). U.S. President Richard Nixon announces that White House Counsel John Dean has been fired and that other top aides, most notably H. R. Haldeman and John Ehrlichman, have resigned (1973). CERN announces World Wide Web protocols will be free (1993). U.S. media release graphic photos of American soldiers committing war crimes against Iraqi prisoners at Abu Ghraib prison (2004). Chrysler files for Chapter 11 bankruptcy (2009). 
• April 30 is the birthday of my 19th great-grandmother, noblewoman Anne of Glouster (1383), physicist Carl Friedrich Gauss (1777), dentist Mary Haviland Stilwell Kuesel (1866), memoirist Alice B. Toklas (1877), actress Cloris Leachman (1926), author Larry Niven (1938), actress Jill Clayburgh (1944), singer-songwriter/activist Mimi Fariña (1945), guitarist/singer-songwriter Wayne Kramer (1948), NBA player Isiah Thomas (1961), singer-songwriter/pianist Amanda Palmer (1976), NBA player Luis Scola (1980), actress Gal Gadot (1985), and singer-songwriter Mac DeMarco (1990).

That’s plenty of news for now. Side note: there’s always way more news that I don’t cover here than the news I have time to include in the allocated hour I spend each morning. You can always seek out more info on your own than whatever they feed you on your TV. Enjoy your day.