Random News; May 14, 2024

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s May 14, 2024, and it’s a Tuesday. My name is Zak and I’m glad we have this time together to chat about the many things that happen in this weird and wacky and occasionally wonderful world.

• I don’t want to spend too much time on the recap of Michael Cohen’s testimony yesterday against his former boss, King Dumplumpagus. 
• In short, Cohen’s testimony in the felony hush money trial can be boiled down to a few main points.
• Cohen confirmed that i 2016, he had made a $130,000 payment to porn star Stormy Daniels to purchase her silence about a a brief sexual encounter she had with Dump in 2006.
• Cohen also confirmed that her silence was bought because the story getting out would have been catastrophic to Dump’s campaign.
• Not because of Dump wanting to hide his fucking women outside of his marriage from his wife.
• This is important to the case. Prosecutors are trying prove that Dump schemed to illegally influence the 2016 race by burying unflattering stories that could damage his campaign. That’s why the business record crimes are a felony rather than a misdemeanor.
• At some point, the defense will likely try and say that Dump was trying to protect his family and personal reputation — not his campaign.
• Interestingly to that end, per Cohen, it was Melania Trump who came up with the phrase “locker room talk” to downplay the infamous “grab ‘em by the pussy” Access Hollywood tape.
• Anyway, Dump okayed the $130,000 payment that led to the charges against him — that he falsified 34 business records to hide Cohen’s reimbursement.
• In addition to all that, there is an audio recording between Cohen and Dump in September 2016 in which they discussed the plan to purchase the silence of another woman he fucked, Karen McDougal.
• Cohen said he made the recording so David Pecker, the National Enquirer publisher, could hear the conversation and be assured that Dump was going to pay him back.
• Okay, that was too much time. But now you’re pretty up to date. Cohen is back on the witness stand this morning, facing what will likely be a brutal cross-examination from Team Dump.
• Moving on.
• U.S. Secretary of State Antony Blinken made an unannounced visit to Kyiv to reassure Ukraine that the American military aid on its way to the country would make a real difference on the battlefield.
• Moscow’s troops have captured around 50 square miles in the Kharkiv region In increasingly intense attacks along the northeastern border. Thousands of civilians in the area have fled the fighting.
• The Kremlin’s forces have also been making a concerted push in the east, seeking to drive deeper into the partly occupied Donetsk region.
• Slava Ukraini!
• Let’s move on.
• Vice President Harris said a bad word. Oh no!
• Snort.
• She was addressing young Asian Americans, Native Hawaiians and Pacific Islanders yesterday, talking about breaking through barriers.
• After giving a lengthy response in which she told the young people to keep their chins up when they go into spaces where no one else looks like them, she added, “We have to know that sometimes people will open the door for you and leave it open. Sometimes they won’t. And then you need to kick that fucking door down.”
• She’s right!
• Harris’ election as the first female Black and Asian vice president is a testament to the limitless possibilities of the American dream, and it’s a big fucking deal that we haven’t made nearly as significant as it should be.
• Also, if you think what she said was bad, you should listen to some transcripts of president Lyndon B. Johnson, where some form of the word “fuck” is used every other sentence.
• I use profanity all the time too. Probably not as much as LBJ, but I am a goddamn colorful individual.
• Moving on.
• Melinda French Gates, one of the world’s preeminent philanthropists, is calling it quits as the co-chair of the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation that she has helped lead for almost 25 years.
• Over that time, the foundation has made nearly $78 billion worth of grant payments.
• Based on her statement, it seems that French Gates is going to focus her efforts on improving the lives of women and families in the U.S. and around the world.
• She is particularly focused on altering the trajectory of women’s rights being rolled back. Interesting.
• French Gates plans to leave the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation on June 7, and she will share more about her future charitable plans in the near future. The organization will change its name to the Gates Foundation, and Bill Gates will become the sole chair.
• In other news…
• Today is a somber anniversary, marking two years since a self-described white supremacist killed 10 Black people at a Tops supermarket in Buffalo, NY on May 14, 2022.
• Of the more than 8,500 hate crimes reported nationwide between 2020 and 2022, Black people were targeted in 52.3% of the offenses. Between 2021 and 2022, the numbers rose from 2,217 to 3,421, making Black people four times more likely to be targeted than the overall U.S. non-Hispanic Black population.
• Hate crimes targeting Black people under the age of 18 rose 10% in 2020, 12% in 2021 and 14.6% in 2022.
• Payton Gendron, the piece of shit gunman in the Buffalo massacre, was sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole after pleading guilty to 15 state charges, including 10 counts of murder, three counts of attempted murder and domestic terrorism motivated by hate. 
• In January of this year, federal prosecutors announced they would pursue the death penalty against Gendron. I don’t blame them.
• Gendron was indicted federally with 27 federal charges, including 14 violations of the Shepard-Byrd Act, a landmark anti-hate crime law signed by President Barack Obama in 2009. 
• That law was named after Matthew Shepard, a gay student who was tortured and murdered, and James Byrd Jr., a Black man killed by white supremacists who abducted him, beat him and dragged him by a chain from the back of a pickup truck.
• As long as we’re discussing horrible people, let’s mention Johnny McEntee, the former White House Trump aide closely linked to plans for radical federal government reform should Dumpy win re-election.
• McEntee made a video on a right-wing TikTok show saying, “So I always keep this fake Hollywood money in my car. So when a homeless person asks for money, then I give them like a fake $5 bill. So I feel good about myself. They feel good. And then when they go to use it, they get arrested. So I’m actually like helping clean up the community, you know, getting them off the street.”
• That’s the kind of person who support Donald J. Trump. If you support him, I assume you’re like that as well.
• He later claimed he was joking, which is probably a good idea for him; 18 US Code section 480 says “Whoever, within the United States, knowingly and with intent to defraud, possesses or delivers any false, forged, or counterfeit bond, certificate, obligation, security, treasury note, bill, promise to pay, bank note, or bill issued by a bank or corporation of any foreign country, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than 20 years, or both.”
• In the case of McEntee, I vote for both.
• Moving on to a story of people being people, or at least New Yorkers and Dubliners being themselves.
• Video portals were set up as sculptures in the two cities featuring live streams that allowed residents of one place to see the other, with the intent of bringing the two cities closer together.
• The designers envisioned grandmothers seeing their grandchildren, performances of Irish jigs, proposals and more. They got some of that.
• But the but the Dublin-New York portal has now been closed down temporarily after reports of inappropriate behavior. Like what?
• A lot of people flashing their asses, OnlyFans models flashing tits, a Dubliner that taunted the Americans with images of the Twin Towers on 9/11, people on both sides of the Atlantic flashing middle fingers.
• People are people.
• And now, The Weather: “Smile” by Wand
• Rest in peace to saxophonist David Sanborn. He died Sunday at age 78 after a battle with prostate cancer.
• Sanborn was a six-time Grammy winner who was most identified with radio-friendly smooth jazz, but wasn’t a fan of the genre and in fact was more a student of free jazz.
• His list of credits would fill pages, but I will highlight that he performed with the Paul Butterfield blues band at Woodstock, was the sax player on David Bowie’s “Young Americans,” and did session work with everyone from Stevie Wonder to James Taylor, Todd Rundgren, Paul Simon, Elton John, Steely Dan, Billy Joel, Chaka Khan, The Rolling Stones and hundreds of others.
• Let’s do a chart. It’s May 1986, and here is the top of the Billboard Hot 100 singles chart. At that moment, I am a senior in high school and really just biding time until graduation, which would occur just over a month later.
• I can also tell you I was being pretty shitty about using drugs and alcohol at the time, was in a period of pathetic underachievement, and was also in a series of bad teenage relationships where in every case I was pretty much always the one at fault for it not working out for very long. Many of these songs call up this hindsight-accurate self analysis.
• 1. West End Girls (Pet Shop Boys). 2. Addicted To Love (Robert Palmer). 3. Greatest Love Of All  (Whitney Houston). 4. Why Can't This Be Love (Van Halen). 5. What Have You Done For Me Lately (Janet Jackson). 6. Your Love (The Outfield). 7. Take Me Home (Phil Collins). 8. Bad Boy (Miami Sound Machine). 9. Harlem Shuffle (The Rolling Stones). 10. If You Leave (Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark). 11. Live To Tell (Madonna). 12. Kiss (Prince And The Revolution). 13. On My Own (Patti LaBelle & Michael McDonald). 14. I Can't Wait (Nu Shooz). 15. Something About You (Level 42). 16. American Storm (Bob Seger). 17. All I Need Is A Miracle (Mike + The Mechanics). 18. Manic Monday (The Bangles). 19. Is It Love (Mr. Mister). 20. Be Good To Yourself (Journey)
• From the Sports Desk… the NBA playoffs are getting interesting. Far from the one-sided matchups in the first round, most of the semifinals series are pretty tight.
• Celtics lead the Cavs 3-1. But the Knicks and Pacers, Mavericks and Thunder, and Timberwolves and Nuggets are all knotted up at 2-2.
• Today in history… Robert II of France — my 31st great-grandfather — names his son Henry I (yes, my 30th great-grandfather) as junior King of the Franks (1027). Henry III of England — my 24th great-grandfather — is captured and forced to sign the Mise of Lewes, making Simon de Montfort the effective ruler of England (1264). English colonists establish "James Fort," which would become Jamestown, VA, the earliest permanent English settlement in the Americas (1607). Edward Jenner administers the first smallpox inoculation (1796). The last witchcraft trial held in the United States begins in Salem, MA, after Lucretia Brown, an adherent of Christian Science, accused Daniel Spofford of attempting to harm her through his mental powers (1878). Israel is declared to be an independent state and a provisional government is established (1948). Eight Communist bloc countries, including the Soviet Union, sign a mutual defense treaty called the Warsaw Pact (1955). A white mob twice attacks a Freedom Riders bus near Anniston, AL, before fire-bombing the bus and attacking the civil rights protesters who flee the burning vehicle (1961). Ten people are killed in a mass shooting in Buffalo, NY (2022).
• May 14 is the birthday of photographer Thomas Wedgwood (1771), biologist Ed Ricketts (1897), singer-songwriter/bass player Jack Bruce (1943), film director/producer George Lucas (1944), singer-songwriter David Byrne (1952), film director/producer Robert Zemeckis (1952), singer-songwriter Tom Cochrane (1953), actor Tim Roth (1961), singer-songwriter Ian Astbury (1962), guitarist C.C. DeVille (1962), bass player Mike Inez (1966), NFL player Tony Siragusa (1967), actress Cate Blanchett (1969), film director Sofia Coppola (1971), singer-songwriter Dan Auerbach (1979), NFL player Frank Gore (1983), computer programmer/businessman Mark Zuckerberg (1984), NFL player Clay Matthews III (1986), NFL player Rob Gronkowski (1989), actress Miranda Cosgrove (1993), and MLB player James Outman (1997).

Time to do various things that aren’t this. Enjoy your day.