Random News: May 31, 2024

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s May 31, 2024, and if you can believe it, it’s a Friday once again! And what better day of the week — the most joyful day, if you ask me — to talk in detail about a historic moment in the USA that occurred yesterday? Let’s fucking go.

• Donald John Trump, the 45th President of the United States of America, was found guilty yesterday on 34 felony counts of falsifying business records to conceal a hush money payment to an adult-film actress, making him the first former U.S. president convicted of a crime.
• I will preface everything else I’m about to say with this simple statement, which is one of the greatest pillars of our country: no one is above the law.
• Dump himself once opined that he was so impervious to justice that he could walk onto 5th Avenue in New York City and shoot someone in the head and not be convicted.
• He has been proven wrong.
• And now we can say the words “former President and convicted felon Donald John Trump,” and it’s inarguably true.
• Let’s get the “what could happen next?” out of the way before we talk about what will actually happen and the likely effect of it all on the upcoming election.
• El Dumpo faces a maximum sentence of 1⅓ to four years in prison. Justice Juan Merchan scheduled the former president’s sentencing for July 11. Merchan will also be able to take into account extenuating circumstances, such as Dump’s 10 violations of his gag order and so on.
• Judge Merchan also kindly allowed Dump to remain free without bail. Nice of him.
• Now to the land of reality: given his age and his lack of a prior criminal record, the much higher likelihood is that Dumpy will serve no term of incarceration at all. 
• Zero. None. Nothing.
• If you’re getting your hopes high for some big day of celebration on July 11 — which happens to be just days before the start of the Republican National Convention — don’t spend much on the champagne.
• You’ll be setting yourself up for disappointment if you’re counting on this guy ever being inside a jail cell for anything. Don’t make that the important part.
• But the big news is in the moment, which is the the first time in our nation’s 248-year history that we’ve passed the test — we aren’t a nation of kings and subjects. Again, no one is above the law.
• That there isn’t one set of rules for the elite class and another for the people.
• If you believe in justice and fairness and all that you hope America is truly about, yesterday was a very good day in American history.
• Let’s do some Q&A.
• Can Dump serve as president now that he’s a felon? Absolutely yes. There is nothing in our Constitution saying that a felon can’t be elected President. Even if by some miracle Dump was literally incarcerated in a prison (which he won’t be), he could still be President.
• 100% true. Look it up.
• But can Dump vote? He is a legal resident of the state of Florida, and here’s what their law says: “If you are convicted of a felony not of moral turpitude, you lose your right to vote, until the following conditions are met: You have completed your sentence, including probation and parole.”
• However, if the conviction would leave the felon eligible to vote in the state where the person was convicted — New York in this case — Florida generally defaults to the laws of that state.
• So the answer is probably yes, but it would be affected by his sentence. The only thing that would stop him would be to be actually incarcerated during the election.
• Can Dump own a gun? NO. It's unlawful for a convicted felon to carry any type of firearm under both Florida and federal law. Although the U.S. Code and Florida Statute share similar elements for the offense, both have different penalties and enhancements for the crime.
• Can Dump leave the country? Perhaps not while he’s on any kind of probation or parole. After that, then yes. But some countries simply don’t accept felons entering their territory, understandably.
• Can Dump as a felon get any kind of national security clearance? Welllll… it’s less clear cut than you’d assume.
• Again, until we know the actual sentencing in July, a lot of this is still guesswork.
• More importantly than any of this, how will Dump’s voting base react to him now being a convicted felon?
• I don’t think it will make a big difference to most of them. These folks are in a cult. Dump could kill babies in front of them and they’d come up with excuses as to why the babies deserved it and still vote for him.
• However, a portion of his voting base — those who believe in law and order, who feel that America doesn’t have kings, will have feelings about it.
• We don’t need his entire base to change their feelings in order for it to impact the election. Just a small percentage will make a large difference.
• How is the MAGA world handling Dump’s conviction, by the way? Exactly as you’d expect.
• They furiously flooded pro-Dump websites with calls for riots, revolution, and violent retribution. That’s what they do. It’s all they know.
• Some called for attacks on jurors, the execution of the Justice Juan Merchan, or outright civil war and armed insurrection.
• And there were indeed many general calls for murdering liberals after the verdict.
• Bring it on, you red-capped bitches. Oh, also, enjoy the fact that each of these threats are being catalogued by law enforcement agencies at many levels.
• You wanted to be on a list? You wanted to have an eye kept on you? I promise, you’re on one now. Learn a little bit about IP addresses and geolocation tracking when you think you’re safe behind your “BrandonSlayerUSA666” posting handle.
• I’ll end with a reminder that Dumples the Clown still faces far more serious criminal cases in Florida (the stolen documents case), Georgia (the RICO trial from the 2020 election), and Washington, D.C. (subverting the transfer of power after the 2020 election).
• We know that due to appeals and pretrial motions, it’s highly likely none of them will go to trial before Election Day.
• But they will happen, as long as Dump isn’t elected and dismisses all charges against himself.
• Okay. Whew. As I said, yesterday was a good day. I was… I think the word is giddy. I was giddy pretty much the entire rest of yesterday.
• Believe it or not, there is other news.
• President Joe Biden secretly gave Ukraine permission to use American weapons to strike inside Russia, a reversal of previous policy that Kyiv’s allies hope helps turn the tide of the war.
• The decision only applies to some weapons supplied by the United States, and only in one area: the northeastern Kharkiv region where Russia launched a sweeping cross-border assault three weeks ago.
• But Ukraine is heartened by this effort and hopefully will give them some much-needed wins against Russia.
• Moving on.
• Here’s a question: if Hamas releases literally all of their Israeli hostages, would that end the terrible war in the region?
• Not according to Israel National Security Adviser Tzachi Hanegbi, who told relatives of those hostages yesterday that the current government will not agree to end its war against Hamas under any terms including the release of all hostages.
• Kinda makes you wonder about Israel’s big-picture motives. I see no possible good endings to that conflict, nor any timeline to get back to peaceful existence.
• If I was a citizen there, I wouldn’t accept that message from my government.
• Meanwhile, today, the Israeli military confirmed that its forces are operating in central parts of Rafah in its expanding offensive in the southern Gaza city.
• Israel launched its ground assault into the city on May 6, triggering an exodus of around 1 million Palestinians out of the city and throwing U.N. humanitarian operations based in the area into turmoil.
• Palestinian people there are dying daily of hunger and disease and lack of basic human necessities.
• Moving on.
• ChatGPT maker OpenAI said yesterday that it caught groups from Russia, China, Iran, and Israel using its technology to try to influence political discourse around the world.
• This highlights concerns that generative artificial intelligence is making it easier for state actors to run covert propaganda campaigns as the 2024 presidential election nears.
• OpenAI removed accounts associated with well-known propaganda operations in Russia, China, and Iran; an Israeli political campaign firm; and a previously unknown group originating in Russia that the company’s researchers dubbed “Bad Grammar.”
• The groups used OpenAI’s tech to write posts, translate them into various languages, and build software that helped them automatically post to social media.
• Not surprising at all.
• Moving on.
• Yesterday, the Supreme Court ruled that the National Rifle Association can pursue a claim that a New York state official’s efforts to encourage companies to end ties with the gun rights group constituted unlawful coercion.
• It was a unanimous decision by the SCOTUS. The justices unanimously found that the NRA can move forward with arguments that its free speech rights under the Constitution’s First Amendment were violated by the actions of Maria Vullo, the then-superintendent of the New York state Department of Financial Services.
• The opinion came from Justice Sonia Sotomayor, who wrote, ”Government officials cannot attempt to coerce private parties in order to punish or suppress views that the government disfavors.”
• She’s right. Look, I dislike the NRA as much as anyone, but defending free speech means you defend the speech you like and the speech you don’t. That’s how it works.
• In other news…
• Andrew Tate, one of the most dank assholes in the social media influencer realm, who is awaiting trial in Romania on charges of human trafficking and rape, lost an appeal yesterday to have the court relax geographical restrictions preventing him from traveling outside the eastern European country.
• Tough shit, you rapist fuck.
• Tate had requested that he be able to leave Romania, provided he stay within Europe’s ID-check-free Schengen zone, which Romania partially joined in March.
• A former professional kickboxer and dual British-U.S. citizen, Tate was initially arrested in December 2022 near Bucharest, Romania’s capital, along with his brother Tristan and two Romanian women.
• Fuck him. I hope he spends the rest of his life in prison there.
• And now, The Weather: “Side By Side” by Crumb
• From the Sports Desk… the Mavs crushed the T’Wolves in game 5 124-103, winning the Western Conference finals 4-1. We now have an NBA championship finals matchup!
• The Boston Celtics will face the Dallas Mavericks, with Game 1 in Boston on Thursday June 6. It’s Dallas’s first NBA Finals since 2011.
• Today in history… Emperor Petronius Maximus is stoned to death by an angry mob while fleeing Rome (455). King Henry III lays the first stone of the Pont Neuf, the oldest bridge of Paris, France (1578). Citing poor eyesight as a reason, Samuel Pepys records the last event in his diary (1669). The United States enacts its first copyright statute, the Copyright Act of 1790 (1790). The clock tower at the Houses of Parliament, which houses Big Ben, starts keeping time (1859). Gilmore's Garden in New York City is renamed Madison Square Garden by William Henry Vanderbilt and is opened to the public at 26th Street and Madison Avenue (1879). The National Negro Committee, forerunner to the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People, convenes for the first time (1909). The RMS Titanic is launched in Belfast, Northern Ireland (1911). The Tulsa race massacre kills at least 39, but other estimates of black fatalities vary from 55 to about 300 (1921). The U.S. Supreme Court expands on its Brown v. Board of Education decision by ordering district courts and school districts to enforce educational desegregation "at all deliberate speed.” (1955). The Trans-Alaska Pipeline System is completed (1977). Usain Bolt breaks the world record in the 100m sprint, with a wind-legal 9.72 seconds (2008). 
• May 31 is the birthday of poet/journalist Walt Whitman (1819), entrepreneur John Ringling (1866), actor Don Ameche (1908), Monaco prince Rainier III (1923), actor/director Clint Eastwood (1930), singer-songwriter Peter Yarrow (1938), actress Sharon Gless (1943), NFL player Joe Namath (1943), singer-songwriter Jimmy Cliff (1946), drummer John Bonham (1948), actor Tom Berenger (1949), guitarist Tommy Emmanuel (1955), actress Lea Thompson (1961), Hungary prime minister Viktor Orbán (1963), rapper Darryl "D.M.C." McDaniels (1964), model/actress Brooke Shields (1965), actor Colin Farrell (1976), MLB player Jake Peavy (1981), NBA player Nate Robinson (1984), NFL player Jordy Nelson (1985), and rapper Azealia Banks (1991).

Okay then. Like I said, I’m just happy as can be that we still live in a country where justice can be served, and where — say it with me — no one is above the law. That’s all I asked for. It isn’t a lot, but it matters. Enjoy your day.