Random News: July 4, 2024

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s July 4, 2024, and it’s a Thursday for some reason. It is also, here in the USA, Independence Day, one of our major national holidays and one that is arriving at a uniquely bizarre point in our nation’s history.

• Which is why we’re beginning this holiday edition of Zak’s Random News with a shallow dive into American history.
• Here’s like 16 years of US history education jammed into a few bullets. Ready?
• There were 13 British Colonies with people who decided, for various reasons, that they didn’t like being the subjects of a king across an ocean.
• And the king didn’t like his subjects complaining, so when some of them protested, he had them killed. That’s what kings do.
• The subjects really got mad at that shit, the demonstrations got bigger and more widespread, and by 1775, there was open fighting between the British troops and some of the colony militias.
• So after some arguing about it, the colonial leaders issued a Declaration of Independence, which was ratified by the Second Continental Congress on July 4, 1776, establishing the United States of America.
• The men who created and signed it are known, among others, as the Founding Fathers. They declared that the Thirteen Colonies were no longer subject (and subordinate) to the monarch of Britain, King George III, and were now united, free, and independent states.
• Cool.
• Fun Fact: we actually voted to approve independence on July 2, but adopted the actual Declaration of Independence text two days later, on July 4.
• So the whole point of the USA was to stop being subservient to a king. That was why we have a country. That was the reason. Remember that part. We’ll be coming back to it.
• Who wrote the Declaration? A brilliant-ass dude named Thomas Jefferson, written in isolation over 17 days between June 11 and June 28, 1776.
• Did the Continental Congress accept Jefferson’s first draft? Of course not. Politicians never agree on anything immediately.
• They debated and revised the wording of the Declaration, among other things removing Jefferson’s vigorous denunciation of King George III for importing the slave trade.
• Figures.
• So back to that “we don’t want a king, so let’s make a new country” aspect.
• For a number of years, it was uncertain that the USA even wanted to have any kind of chief executive at all. We knew we didn’t want a king… someone who claimed a God-given right to lead with no rules to follow, but then force those rules on other citizens.
• And in fact, under the Articles of Confederation which were ratified in 1781, the United States officially had no head of state. Betcha didn’t know that.
• It was 12 years into independence that in 1788, we ratified the Constitution, the supreme law of the United States. Article II of the Constitution established the executive branch of the federal government and vested executive power in the President.
• And in January 1789, George Washington, a very respected military general, was elected unanimously by the electoral college.
• He was directly involved in the choice of the title “President,” and refused efforts to have himself addressed as “highness” or “excellency” or “majesty” and so on.
• Instead, Washington would only accept the no-frills “The President of the United States.”
• Did people want him to be a king instead of a president? Yes, many. The idea had been directly and officially proposed, and Washington not only reacted very strongly against the suggestion, but was greatly troubled by it.
• He, and all the Founding Fathers, purposefully built in safeguards to the executive branch and the presidency so that its powers were limited and balanced against the legislative and judicial branches.
• In fact, the role of President was designed to be the weakest of the three branches of government.
• So.
• Why are we talking about all this, other than it being the 4th of July today?
• Because while the power given to the executive branch and therefore the President has indeed gradually increased over the 248 years since then, the recent decision by the Supreme Court that gives full immunity to any “official act” a President does suddenly makes the office of President much more akin to that of a king.
• It’s the exact opposite of what the Founding Fathers intended… especially the very first president. Giving a man the power to be nearly impervious from the law, and anointed with a separate set of rules than all other Americans — or no rules at all.
• That’s a fucking king.
• So, we lasted just under 248 years being a successful nation where the President was not a king. And now that’s changed, possibly forever.
• In her scathing dissent in the SCOTUS decision ‘Trump v. United States’ on Monday July 1, 2024, Justice Sonia Sotomayor wrote, “This majority’s project will have disastrous consequences for the presidency and for our democracy.”
• “Ironic isn’t it? The man in charge of enforcing laws can now just break them.”
• “With fear for our democracy, I dissent.”
• So the USA is now fundamentally different than it ever was, and putting that kind of power into the wrong hands might mean the end of the country entirely, along with major life changes for you and your family.
• And now you see what’s at stake this November 5, 2024.
• Happy Independence Day. Hopefully not for the last time.
• Let’s move on to some important news.
• Joe Biden is staying in the race. He’s the candidate. He’s our guy.
• Stop immediately with the speculation that he’ll willingly step down or be replaced by a different Democratic candidate. He will not.
• He’s the Democratic candidate, and he’s in it to win it. And win he will.
• Do you have concerns? Yes, of course you do.
• We’ll be getting into some of those specifics at a later date. What I will say today is very simple.
• Joe Biden is fundamentally a good man who by all measurable metrics has done an excellent job as President for the past four years. He’s faithfully served the USA for over 50 years, having been elected a Senator inn 1972.
• Joe is a million times more like you and me than the other guy is. He grew up in a kinda shitty place (no offense) in a lower middle class environment. He had to overcome a stutter. He had to overcome the deaths of his young wife and baby daughter in a car wreck.
• Joe is just an American guy who’s been through some stuff and came out tougher as a result.
• The other guy literally shits on a gold toilet.
• Anyway, Biden met with Democratic leaders yesterday to address his shitty debate performance last week, as well as the flurry of media speculation about him dropping out of the race.
• I got a fundraising email — well, I get like 20 a day or more, but this one was pretty focused.
• ”I'm the Democratic Party’s nominee. No one is pushing me out. I'm not leaving," wrote Joe. "I'm in this race to the end, and WE are going to win this election."
• So yes, let it be clear: I’m supporting Joe Biden until Joe Biden tells me to support someone else. Not the fucking New York Times, not Fox News, not CNN, not some prick on social media.
• Should we be discussing other options? I’ll be glad to do that…. if and when that becomes necessary. While Joe is in it, I’m backing Joe. That’s all.
• Moving on with some fantastic news.
• Yesterday in Arizona, women’s reproductive freedom advocates submitted more than double the signatures needed to place an initiative on the November ballot that would enshrine the right to abortion in the state's constitution.
• Fuck yes!
• Organizers with Arizona for Abortion Access, the coalition behind the effort, said they submitted 823,685 signatures, far more than the 383,923 required to place an initiative proposing a constitutional amendment before voters.
• Called the Arizona Abortion Access Act, the initiative would amend the state constitution to establish the right to abortion. Under the plan, the state would not be allowed to restrict access to abortion before viability, generally around 22 to 24 weeks in a pregnancy.
• If the measure is cleared, Arizona would join at least five other states this fall where voters will decide whether to amend their respective state constitutions to recognize the right to abortion. Those states are Colorado, Florida, Maryland, Nevada, and South Dakota.
• And efforts are underway in several other states, including Arkansas, Missouri, Montana, and Nebraska, to get the issue on the November 5 ballot.
• And here’s something I think.
• I think that with women and men who support women’s reproductive freedom rights strongly inspired to head to the polls, a big portion of them will also cast their vote for the presidential candidate who wants to enshrine abortion rights on a national level: Joe Biden.
• Not the guy who will, with near certainty, go back on his word and immediately make abortion illegal and punishable in all 50 states: Donnie Dump.
• Even in crucial swing states like Michigan and Ohio, abortion rights voters have been successful on this issue. The momentum is going to translate into Biden votes in the fall.
• Let’s leave the US for a moment and head across the pond where our old pals are having their big election.
• After 14 years, the UK’s Conservative Party may be on the way out, replaced by an energized Labour Party led by former lefty lawyer turned ruthless centrist Keir Starmer.
• I like the sound of that.
• I’m also pretty jealous; campaigning for this surprise snap election lasted just six weeks. How nice would that be, instead of fucking constant election bullshit?
• We’ll get an idea of who will lead the United Kingdom at about 5PM EDT today with the exit polls. Official results will be issued around 10PM-midnight Eastern.
• Either way, it seems Prime Minister Rishi Sunak is on his way out. If polling numbers are accurate, the election would give Labour its largest majority in modern history — bigger even than Tony Blair’s 1997 landslide victory.
• Yeah!
• Back to the USA with some more good news.
• Judge Francisco X. Dominguez of the 205th District Court in Texas has blocked the state’s attempt to shutter a migrant shelter network near the U.S.-Mexico border, calling Republican Attorney General Ken Paxton’s actions “outrageous and intolerable.”
• Paxton earlier this year demanded that Annunciation House, which operates several shelters serving migrants and refugees, turn over records showing the names of those it housed. The nonprofit filed a lawsuit asking a judge to rule on the request; the attorney general responded with a countersuit seeking the closure of the shelters and accusing the nonprofit of violating smuggling laws.
• Fucking prick.
• And now some shitty news.
• Yesterday, a U.S. judge blocked the Biden administration from enforcing a new rule against discrimination on the basis of gender identity in healthcare while he hears a lawsuit challenging it by 15 Republican-led states.
• The Health and Human Services (HHS) rule was set to take effect tomorrow. It states that a federal prohibition on sex discrimination, part of the Affordable Care Act health insurance law, extends to discrimination against transgender people.
• The rule applies to recipients of federal funds, including Medicaid programs. It followed executive orders President Joe Biden issued in 2021 and 2022 instructing agencies like HHS to take measures protecting transgender people from discrimination.
• But discriminating against people is a big part of the Republican brand, so it’s really no surprise they’re opposed.
• Moving on.
• Here’s my annual message to say that statistically, at least one person who reads my news will have one less finger or eyeball between now and Monday.
• I did the math; it’s true.
• I’m not the enemy of fun, I promise. I like having a good-ass time. Ask anyone who knows me.
• But just.. can you just not? With the fireworks? They’re dumb. They scare animals. And you get injured and a few of you get killed, often kids. Go watch a show that your town puts on if you’re into things blowing up.
• And now, The Weather: “Ocean Swallows Him Whole” by Lutalo
• From the Sports Desk… the Sports Desk is not covering the fucking Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest.
• Competitive eating is fucking disgusting. It’s not even, like, funny disgusting. And just because ESPN airs this shit does not make it a sport.
• What’s next? Competitive pooping? It would certainly be an appropriate follow-up to the hot dog contest.
• Sports Desk out (drops mic).
• Today in history… A supernova, called SN 1054, is seen by Chinese Song dynasty as well as Arab and possibly Amerindian observers, and for several months it remains bright enough to be seen during the day, with its remnants forming the Crab Nebula (1054). The Treaty of Lancaster, in which the Iroquois cede lands between the Allegheny Mountains and the Ohio River to the British colonies, was signed in Lancaster, PA (1744). The United States Declaration of Independence is adopted by the Second Continental Congress (1776). At West Point, New York, the United States Military Academy opens (1802). The Louisiana Purchase is announced to the American people (1803). John Adams and Thomas Jefferson die on the same day (1826). Slavery is abolished in the State of New York (1827). John Neal delivers the first public lecture in the US to advocate the rights of women (1832). The Iowa Territory is organized (1838). Henry David Thoreau moves into a small cabin on Walden Pond in Concord, MA (1845). Lewis Carroll tells Alice Liddell a story that would grow into Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and its sequels (1862). Vicksburg, MS surrenders to U.S. forces under Ulysses S. Grant after 47 days of siege (1863). The Army of Northern Virginia withdraws from the battlefield after losing the Battle of Gettysburg, signaling an end to the Confederate invasion of U.S. territory (1863). Lou Gehrig, recently diagnosed with Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, informs a crowd at Yankee Stadium that he considers himself "The luckiest man on the face of the earth,” then announces his retirement from major league baseball (1939). After 381 years of near-continuous colonial rule by various powers, the Philippines attains full independence from the United States (1946). U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson signs the Freedom of Information Act into United States law (1966). The U.S. celebrates its Bicentennial (1976). NASA's Pathfinder space probe lands on the surface of Mars (1997). The Deep Impact collider hits the comet Tempel 1 (2005). The discovery of particles consistent with the Higgs boson at the Large Hadron Collider is announced at CERN (2012).
• July 4 is the birthday of geographer/surveyor George Everest (1790), novelist Nathaniel Hawthorne (1804), songwriter Stephen Foster (1826), US president Calvin Coolidge (1872), sculptor/cartoonist Rube Goldberg (1883), gangster Meyer Lansky (1902), businesswoman Leona Helmsley (1920), actress Eva Marie Saint (1924), actress Gina Lollobrigida (1927), playwright Neil Simon (1927), AFL/NFL executive Al Davis (1929), singer-songwriter Bill Withers (1938), journalist Geraldo Rivera (1943), activist Ron Kovic (1946), drummer Ralph Johnson (1951), singer-songwriter John Waite (1952), NBA player Horace Grant (1965), and rapper Post Malone (1995).

Okay, well… those were a lot of words, and I just spit all that out in a flurry. Whew. Anyway, I’m not working (because God Bless America) and now will find other ways to appreciate my independence while I still can. I’m sure you’ll appreciate yours too. You should. Enjoy your day.