DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.
Good morning. It’s September 27, 2024, and if you can believe it, it’s a Friday once again! I had a night packed full of bizarre dreams, so I find myself more happy than usual to be up and about in the land of reality.
- I definitely had an easy night compared to my many friends in the Southeast, who were impacts directly by Hurricane Helene.
- The massive hurricane crashed into Florida’s Big Bend region last night as a category 4, bringing storm surge and high winds across Gulf Coast before ripping into southern Georgia.
- At the moment, nearly four million homes and businesses are still without power in Florida, Georgia, and South Carolina.
- Helene is producing rain accumulations of 6 to 12 inches, with isolated totals around 20 inches in some parts of the southeast. It’s still possible that catastrophic flash and urban flooding could happen as far north as the Appalachian mountains.
- While I write this at 7am PT, Helene has been downgraded to a tropical storm, and is about 50 miles southwest of Clemson, SC and moving north.
- Thinking good thoughts to my FL, GA, and SC friends. I’ll be checking in with many of you today to see how you weathered the storm.
- In other news…
- Today, Vice President Kamala Harris is going on the offensive against Dumples the Clown on immigration when she visits the southern border in Arizona.
- Immigration has featured prominently in the 2024 presidential election. I’ll remind you that it was Dumpy who killed the bipartisan border measure earlier this year.
- It could have been fixed except Dump wanted the problems to remain so he could use them as an election prop. Fuck that guy. Vote for Harris/Walz.
- Moving on.
- New York City Mayor Eric Adams surrendered to federal authorities this morning after being indicted on five corruption charges for allegedly taking bribes and campaign contributions from foreigners.
- Adams will appear before U.S. Magistrate Judge Katharine Parker in Manhattan in a couple of hours at noon. He’s denied wrongdoing and said he would fight the charges in court.
- I think he’s full of shit and needs to resign immediately. The country’s largest city doesn’t need this kind of distracting crap.
- If you need a quick refresher: yesterday, federal prosecutors unsealed an indictment accusing Adams of letting Turkish officials and businesspeople buy his influence with illegal campaign contributions and lavish overseas trips.
- Adams, a Democrat, faces conspiracy, wire fraud, and bribery charges. Among many other horrible things, it seems that he got well as campaign contributions from straw donors, some of which helped him qualify for more than $10 million in matching public campaign funds.
- NY Gov. Kathy Hochul has the power to remove Adams from office, but I doubt she will. If Adams were to resign, he would be immediately replaced by Jumaane Williams, a progressive Democrat who serves as the city’s public advocate.
- That’s what I’m hoping will happen.
- In other news…
- Do not ever again eat any Boar's Head products. No meat, no cheese, no snacks… nothing.
- The company’s processing plants nationwide are now part of an ongoing law enforcement investigation in the wake of a deadly outbreak blamed on some of the company's now-recalled deli meats.
- At least 59 hospitalizations and 10 deaths have been linked to a listeria strain traced back to Boar's Head products distributed from a now-shuttered plant the company ran in Virginia.
- USDA Food Safety Inspection Service reports from the facility described dozens of violations, including insects, mold, blood in puddles on the floor and worse. Fucking disgusting.
- It is unclear whether the nationwide probe is a criminal or civil investigation.
- Let’s move on.
- The far-right, pro-Dumpy cable TV channel Newsmax has settled a major 2020 election defamation lawsuit with voting systems company Smartmatic in a last-minute agreement to avoid a high-stakes trial that would have doomed them.
- The terms of the settlement were not immediately known. The deal comes hours after jury selection got underway in a Wilmington, DE, courtroom ahead of opening statements scheduled for Monday.
- A loss at trial could have put Newsmax on the hook to pay tens of millions of dollars to Smartmatic, putting the small cable channel in financial peril.
- Fox News famously settled with Dominion Voting Systems last year for $787 million, and the far-right channel One America News settled with Smartmatic earlier this year. Both cases were also about the same 2020 election smears.
- Media across the spectrum need to understand that spreading lies to the American people comes with a very high cost. Hopefully, Fox, OAN, and Newsmax will be a bit more careful before repeating this kind of bullshit.
- Moving on.
- Donnie Dump is still endorsing the self-described Black Nazi — North Carolina governor candidate Mark Robinson.
- Robinson has attended Trump events as recently as August 21, when he received a shout-out from the podium. “Mark Robinson, he's out there. He's fighting. He's fighting. He's a great one,” said Dump of the man who peeped through vents to watch women shower and said he’ like to own slaves.
- Yesterday as Dump spoke to reporters at a press conference in Dump Tower, a reporter asked if he was planning to pull his endorsement of the lieutenant governor. Dump responded, and I quote, “I don’t know the situation” before quickly walking away.
- How is it that YOU know the situation and Dumpy doesn’t? Is he just poorly informed? Is he an idiot? Is he maybe lying to you again? Is it all of the above?
- The world might never know. Let’s move on.
- Gov. Gavin Newsom (D-CA) signed the SB 1099 bill this week. The California Department of Public Health must now reveal the number of newborn DNA samples that California is storing and the number of DNA samples that the state sells to researchers each year.
- California has stored blood spots from every baby born in the state since the 1980s. Researchers and law enforcement can use those DNA samples without your knowledge or consent.
- If you're related to someone who was born in California since 1983, a portion of your DNA is likely in the state's massive Newborn Genetic Biobank.
- That’s pretty freaky.
- And speaking of freaky, Disney has paused the production of a movie based on a book by the noted British author Neil Gaiman after allegations that five women have made against him relating to conduct from 1986 to 2002, including one woman who said Gaiman groped her on a tour bus in 2013 and later paid her $60,000.
- The allegations played a role in pausing the production of “The Graveyard Book,” an adaptation of the eponymous young adult novel by Gaiman. Another production related to Gaiman, “Dead Boy Detectives,” has been canceled for unspecified reasons.
- People fucking suck.
- And now, The Weather: “Dump No Waste, Flows to the Sea” by Office Dog
- Rest in peace to Dame Maggie Smith, one of the world’s most beloved actresses. She passed away this morning at age 89.
- While her storied career had her lauded for decades in roles that ranged from Shakespeare — acting alongside Laurence Olivier in “Othello” on stage and screen — to comedies, she’s probably best recognized by later generations for her roles in “Harry Potter” and “Downton Abbey.”
- Whether you think of her as Minerva McGonagall, Violet Crawley, or any of her many other roles, she was one of the best who ever practiced her craft.
- From the Sports Desk… the Cowboys (2-2) beat the Giants (1-3) in New York last night.
- Today in history… William the Conqueror begins the Norman conquest of England (1066). The death of Pope Urban VII, 13 days after being chosen as the Pope, ends the shortest papal reign in history (1590). Lancaster, PA becomes the capital of the United States for one day after Congress evacuates Philadelphia (1777). The world's first public railway to use steam locomotives, the Stockton and Darlington Railway, is ceremonially opened (1825). Production of the Model T automobile begins at the Ford Piquette Avenue Plant in Detroit (1908). The Republic of China is recognized by the United States (1928). USAF Captain Milburn G. Apt becomes the first person to exceed Mach 3 but dies in the attempt shortly after (1956). Rachel Carson's book ‘Silent Spring’ is published, inspiring an environmental movement and the creation of the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (1962). Over two million people participated in worldwide strikes to protest climate change across 2,400 locations worldwide (2019).
- September 27 is the birthday of Florence ruler Cosimo de' Medici (1389), king Louis XIII of France (1601), philosopher/politician Samuel Adams (1722), chemist Hermann Kolbe (1818), cartoonist Thomas Nast (1840), magician Harry Blackstone, Sr. (1885), pianist/composer Bud Powell (1924), actor Wilford Brimley (1934), sportscaster Dick Schaap (1934), TV host Don Cornelius (1936), singer-songwriter/guitarist Randy Bachman (1943), singer-songwriter/actor Meat Loaf (1947), MLB player Mike Schmidt (1949), musician/songwriter Greg Ham (1953), actor/singer Shaun Cassidy (1958), radio host Marc Maron (1963), NBA player/coach Steve Kerr (1965), politician Debbie Wasserman Schultz (1966), actress Gwyneth Paltrow (1972), singer-songwriter/guitarist/actress Carrie Brownstein (1974), rapper Lil Wayne (1982), singer-songwriter Avril Lavigne (1984), and actress Jenna Ortega (2002).
That is all the news I have time for. First, I wish you well if you’ve been affected by Hurricane Helene. Second, the news is going to be insane daily from now through the election and beyond. Let’s all support one another as best we can. Enjoy your day.
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