Random News: October 23, 2024

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s October 23, 2024, and it’s a Wednesday. Apparently today’s the day that I make up for my relative lack of in-depth news by going totally off the rails with way too much news. But I will say, it’s kind of a newsy sort of era we’re in right now, so no surprise. Anyway, what I’m saying is that there’s a lot of shit to read here. Buckle up.

• We all know that it would be super wonderful to know the results of the 2024 election the same day that it happens.
• There are some scenarios that could allow that to happen… for instance, if Kamala Harris won in such a massive landslide that the vote count was so lopsided, it would be an easy call to make.
• As much as I’d like that, I really doubt it will go that way. What is far more likely is that crucial states including Pennsylvania, Arizona, Wisconsin, and others will take days to count and confirm a close vote tally.
• I will remind you that in 2020, we voted on a Tuesday (as always), and it was four days later on the following Saturday that the election was called for Joe Biden.
• While I could be wrong, I think you should be prepared for a similar period of breath-holding this year after the election in 13 days.
• In an upcoming issue of Zak’s Random News, I’ll tell you about the election night process in my household. It’s very… involved.
• Let’s move on for now.
• Important news from late yesterday: don’t eat Quarter Pounders from McDonald’s.
• And I promise, this has nothing to do with Dumpy. Or does it?
• The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention is investigating an E. coli outbreak that has sickened 49 people in 10 states, including one person who has died.
• Investigators are working to confirm which food ingredient in the Quarter Pounder is contaminated. In the meantime, McDonald’s has stopped using fresh slivered onions and quarter pound beef patties in several states while the investigation continues.
• Most illnesses were reported in Colorado and Nebraska. No details have been provided about the death.
• This probably has nothing to do with Donnie Dump’s cosplay appearance making fries, but really, nothing is impossible.
• Back in election news…
• For the first time in his lifetime, Bill Gates is weighing in significantly in a Presidential election.
• He’s donating $50 million to Future Forward, a Super PAC supporting Kamala Harris and Tim Walz.
• Gates’s statement was simple: “I support candidates who demonstrate a clear commitment to improving health care, reducing poverty and fighting climate change in the U.S. and around the world. I have a long history of working with leaders across the political spectrum, but this election is different, with unprecedented significance for Americans and the most vulnerable people around the world.”
• Thank you Bill.
• Here’s another note about people doing their voting early: Texas understood the assignment.
• Record numbers of Texans turned out Monday for the first day of early voting — numbers that were particularly concentrated in several of the state’s blue-leaning urban and suburban counties.
• This will definitely impact the presidential race — yes, Texas is in play — but also the Senate race between incumbent Texas Sen. Ted Cruz (R) and his challenger, Democratic Rep. Colin Allred.
• Keep in mind that Texas is very purple. In 2020, Dump won the state with a margin of just 5.5 points — more than enough to win, but less than a third of the margin by which Sen. Mitt Romney (R-UT) took the state in 2012, and about two-thirds of the buffer that separated Dump and Hillary Clinton in 2016.
• About 125,000 turned out to vote in Harris County, home of Houston — a 50% greater number that turned out in the general election of 2016.
• Travis County, the home of Austin, broke records with 46,600 people showing up on the first day, which the county clerk said topped first-day voting in the last three elections.
• Nearly 47,000 people voted in Bexar County, the home of San Antonio, where some voters waited for more than two hours in line to vote.
• That’s all very good news.
• Before you get overly excited… while the overall trend may favor Democrats, surveys of likely voters show both Trump and Cruz solidly in the lead in Texas. A poll of likely voters released last week found that Cruz was up 7 points over Allred, while Trump led Harris by 5 points.
• But those numbers come with a caveat. They are drawn from likely voters, who in Texas tend to be older and whiter than the state as a whole. 
• So we shall see.
• Also, while we’re talking about Texas…
• Kamala Harris will hold a rally Friday in Houston. She does not believe she will win Texas — nor should she — but her campaign will begin making a closing argument there to voters centered on abortion rights.
• She’s heading there to warn Americans about the threat she believes Dump poses to women and those who support women’s reproductive rights.
• At the Houston rally, Harris will be joined by women who have been affected by Texas’s new law, which was adopted in 2021 and bans abortions as early as six weeks into a pregnancy.
• Back on the early-voting topic, the South Carolina State Election Commission says the state nearly doubled its previous one-day record for early voting on Monday.
• The commission estimates 125,913 cast ballots on Monday, the first day early voting began statewide. That beats the old record of 70,100.
• Amazing!
• Moving on…
• Let’s move over the some international news for a moment.
• Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin said North Korea has deployed troops to Russia.
• Thousands of North Korean troops have recently arrived in Eastern Russia and are being currently trained, but the US does not yet know what their exact mission will be.
• But, if Russian President Vladimir Putin is training North Korean soldiers and preparing to send them in to fight Ukraine, that would be a sign of serious desperation on Russia’s part.
• Keeping an eye on that.
• In other news…
• Here’s a name we — thankfully — haven’t had to mention much lately: Rudy Giuliani.
• Yesterday, a federal judge ordered the former attorney, former New York mayor, and current national punchline to turn over all his valuable possessions and his Manhattan penthouse apartment to the control of Ruby Freeman and Shaye Moss, the Georgia election workers he defamed and to whom he now owes $150 million.
• Judge Lewis Liman of the federal court in Manhattan said Giuliani must turn over his interest in the property to the women in seven days, to a receivership they will control. The penthouse apartment will have its control transferred so Freeman and Moss can sell it, potentially for millions of dollars.
• The women will also be entitled to about $2 million in legal fees Giuliani has said the Dump campaign still owes him, the judge ruled. Good luck getting Dump to pay up, though.
• Additionally, Giuliani must also turn over a collection of several watches, including ones given to him by European presidents after the September 11, 2001 attacks; a signed Joe DiMaggio jersey and other sports memorabilia; and a 1980 Mercedes once owned by the Hollywood star Lauren Bacall. Shrug.
• Rudy even has to turn over his television, items of furniture, and jewelry.
• Fuck around… find out. This is the “finding out” portion of the equation.
• Also from the “Everything Trump Touches Dies” Desk…
• Yesterday, a federal judge cast aside former White House chief of staff Mark Meadows’s bid for a cache of records from the National Archives meant to aid in his defense against criminal charges in the Georgia election case.
• U.S. District Judge Timothy Kelly ruled that a local Washington court, where Meadows initially brought the effort before it was removed to federal court, did not have authority to take action against a federal agency.
• Because the request was made there first, the federal court also lacks authority to act, the judge said.
• Ha ha!
• Meadows faces just one count of violating the Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations (RICO) Act, after the Georgia judge threw out the other count he faced due to a lack of detail.
• Moving on.
• Remember that incident with Dump and his thugs at Arlington National Cemetery?
• Yesterday, the US Army was ordered by a federal judge to release records related to Dumpy’s controversial visit in August visit. They have until Friday to submit the records.
• As you may recall, the US Army issued a stark rebuke following the visit, stating that an employee of the cemetery was “abruptly pushed aside” after attempting to enforce rules that prohibit political activities taking place at the cemetery.
• We’ll see what actually happened.
• The photos show Dump grinning and holding his thumb up over the graves of recently-fallen US soldiers.
• Some imagery that resulted from the visit included the graves of other service members whose families had not given permission.
• Fuck you, Trump, you disrespectful military-hating piece of shit.
• Let’s move on.
• In our continuing coverage of the pieces of shit who tried and failed to enact a coup against the USA on January 6, 2021, some big news yesterday.
• The federal appeals court in Washington, DC upheld the conviction of Cowboys for Trump founder Couy Griffin.
• Griffin jumped a stone wall outside the Capitol to board the inauguration stage. He was convicted of two misdemeanors, including a trespassing charge, and was sentenced to 14 days in jail and a year of supervised release.
• The case is among a handful that tested the foundational approach the Justice Department took to prosecute hundreds of Capitol insurrectionists, and the decision has been long-awaited since it was argued last December by those handling cases coming through the DC federal court.
• It also strengthens federal protection the Secret Service can offer, by defining more clearly the law around trespassing in areas where public officials are being protected.
• Good. Fuck that guy and all like him.
• Moving on.
• I certainly never intended to be this guy, but I feel compelled to put out a drug warning about something people are calling “pink cocaine.”
• First off, it doesn’t have cocaine in it, as shitty as actual coke is for people.
• But no. “Pink cocaine” is a cocktail of drugs that contain methamphetamine, ketamine, and MDMA.
• And it’s likely that former One Direction singer Liam Payne — who either fell or jumped to his death last week — had been using the mix of drugs, per initial toxicology reports.
• Those same reports also showed crack cocaine and benzodiazepine in his system.
• Look, I used to do drugs. I got smart enough in my mid-20s, after some bad experiences, to stop literally everything except moderate amounts of weed. In my early 30s, I also stopped drinking alcohol (except for a nice beer or glass of wine that I have with a meal maybe once a year).
• Before that, I did a monstrous amount of drugs and drank. lot too, so I’m not gonna be all hypocritical and preachy about this shit.
• I will say, substance abuse will absolutely ruin your life and kill you, and I’m also referring to the abuse of prescription drugs like opioids.
• Let’s just move on.
• In comedy news, Elon Musk’s super PAC supporting Dumples the Clown is functioning as well as his glitchy-ass cars.
• You may not know that Dumpy has almost entirely outsourced his door-to-door efforts in battleground states to the billionaire technocrat.
• Welp, the app used by Dump and Musk’s canvassers was plagued by design problems and glitches, making it difficult to determine whether employees in swing states were actually doing their jobs. Now it seems that some employees are exploiting the app’s faulty location functions.
• A video made by one Nevada-based canvasser shows users how a GPS-spoofing app can make it appear as if the user went to the homes of Dump voters. In reality, they didn’t need to go anywhere, and could simply falsify survey responses.
• It gets worse. Approximately a quarter of the results in the key swing states of Arizona and Nevada were flagged as "unusual survey logs" by canvassing app Campaign Sidekick.
• In Arizona, 8,511 of the 35,692 surveyed by Blitz Canvassing in Musk’s America PAC operation were highlighted as unusual.
• In Nevada, 21.2 percent were classified as "unusual survey logs,” a figure which rose to 30.1 percent two days later.
• Snort. Dumbasses.
• And now, The Weather: “Ville Fleurie” by WORLD BRAIN
• A huge RIP going out to an LA sports legend.
• Fernando Valenzuela, who inspired "Fernandomania" while winning National League Cy Young Award and Rookie of the Year honors in 1981 as the Los Angeles Dodgers captured the world championship, has died at the age of 63.
• As if this post isn’t long enough… let’s do a chart!
• It’s today in October 1983. I’m a month into my sophomore year of high school. Kamala Harris has recently transferred from Vanier College in Montreal to the famous HBU, Howard University in Washington, D.C.
• I promise we both knew every one of these songs back then, both great and good and shitty and meh.

• 1. Total Eclipse Of The Heart (Bonnie Tyler). 2. Making Love Out Of Nothing At All (Air Supply). 3. Islands In The Stream (Kenny Rogers Duet With Dolly Parton). 4. True (Spandau Ballet). 5. All Night Long (All Night) (Lionel Richie). 6. One Thing Leads To Another (The Fixx). 7. King Of Pain (The Police). 8. Delirious (Prince). 9. Burning Down The House (Talking Heads). 10. Telefone (Long Distance Love Affair) (Sheena Easton). 11. The Safety Dance (Men Without Hats). 12. Suddenly Last Summer (The Motels). 13. Tell Her About It (Billy Joel). 14.(she's) Sexy + 17 (Stray Cats). 15. Uptown Girl (Billy Joel). 16. If Anyone Falls (Stevie Nicks). 17. Tonight, I Celebrate My Love (Peabo Bryson/Roberta Flack). 18. Modern Love (David Bowie). 19. Say Say Say (Paul McCartney And Michael Jackson). 20. Big Log (Robert Plant).
• From the Sports Desk… the betting market is placing its wagers on the World Series, with Game 1 starting Friday evening between the Los Angeles Dodgers and New York Yankees.
• The Dodgers open as a very slight favorite. The betting line has LA winning in six games.
• Anything could happen, obviously. But still… LET’S GO BLUE!
• Since I live here, you may be wondering if I’m planning to catch a World Series game. Hmm.
• Well, tickets for the World Series opener at Dodger Stadium started at $1,358 on StubHub. Yes, STARTED AT. And yes, they go up from there.
• And StubHub said the pace of sales is four times higher than that for the 2022 Series. How about in New York for Games 3-5? Uh, no. The pace of ticket sales there are 40% higher than for Games 1, 2, 6 and 7 in Los Angeles.
• So now you know why I’ll be watching it on TV like everyone else.
• Today in history… James Ussher's proposed creation date of the world according to the Bible… lol (4004 BC). The first National Women's Rights Convention begins in Worcester, MA (1850). Alberto Santos-Dumont flies an airplane in the first heavier-than-air flight in Europe (1906). Nazi Germany prohibits Jews from emigrating, including in its occupied territories (1941). Gary Gabelich sets a land speed record in a rocket-powered automobile called the Blue Flame (1970). Signing of the Paris Peace Accords which ends the Cambodian–Vietnamese War (1991). Yolanda Saldívar is found guilty of first-degree murder in the shooting death of popular Latin singer Selena (1995). Israel and the Palestinian Authority sign the Wye River Memorandum (1998). Apple Computer releases the iPod (2001). Xi Jinping is elected as General Secretary of the Chinese Communist Party by the Central Committee, beginning a third term of the leader of China (2022).
• October 23 is the birthday of US vice-president Adlai Stevenson I (1835), actress Sarah Bernhardt (1844), football player/coach John Heisman (1869), physicist Felix Bloch (1905), TV host/comedian Johnny Carson (1925), golfer Chi-Chi Rodriguez (1935), soccer player Pelé (1940), author Michael Crichton (1942), film director Ang Lee (1954), singer-songwriter/guitarist Dwight Yoakam (1956), film director Sam Raimi (1959), singer-songwriter/accordionist Weird Al Yankovic (1959), NFL player Doug Flutie (1962), bass player Robert Trujillo (1964), actor Ryan Reynolds (1976), model/activist Ireland Baldwin (1995), and NFL player Nick Bosa (1997).

Okay, that’s way too much stuff. Hey… there are 13 days until the election. What are you doing today to help make sure the USA doesn’t become a dictatorship? Maybe give that some thought, or better yet, take some action. Enjoy your day.