Random News: October 29, 2024

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

---

Good morning. It’s October 29, 2024, and it’s a Tuesday. I woke up stressed with the daunting awareness that I have an insanely busy day scheduled for today, with tons of meetings, deadlines, and responsibilities to handle. Oh, and election that will change the entire world coming very soon.

• We are one week away from the 2024 general election, which happens on Tuesday, November 5, 2024.
• Do not panic. Don’t even get mad. Just vote. That’s all you have to do.
• Blue states, red states, swing states. Vote. That’s it.
• Let’s do the news.
• Starting with news of a vile act: on Sunday night in Portland, OR, and in nearby Vancouver, WA, someone set fire to ballot drop boxes, destroying hundreds of ballots inside.
• Police officers and firefighters in Portland responded to a fire in one ballot drop box at about 3:30am and determined an incendiary device had been placed inside.
• A fire suppressant inside the drop box protected nearly all the ballots; only three were damaged, and those voters will be contacted to help them obtain replacement ballots.
• But then, a few hours later across the Columbia River, smoke was pouring out of a ballot box at a transit center.
• Perhaps not coincidentally, Vancouver is the biggest city in Washington’s 3rd Congressional District, the site of what is expected to be one of the closest U.S. House races in the country. It’s between first-term Democratic Rep. Marie Gluesenkamp Perez and Republican challenger Joe Kent.
• Gluesenkamp Perez beat Kent by only a handful of votes in 2022.
• That drop box also had a fire suppression system inside, but for some reason it wasn’t effective. Responders pulled a burning pile of ballots from inside the box, and hundreds were lost.
• Some good news, maybe: there were surveillance cameras that covered the drop box and surrounding area. Anyone who dropped their ballot there after11am on Saturday — the time of the most recent pick-up — was urged to contact the auditor’s office to obtain a new one.
• Like California and elsewhere, Washington and Oregon are both vote-by-mail states. Registered voters receive their ballots in the mail a few weeks before elections and then return them by mail or by placing them in ballot drop boxes.
• In Phoenix last week, roughly five ballots were destroyed and others damaged when a fire was set in a drop box at a U.S. Postal Service station there.
• What kind of anti-American scum would attempt to destroy people’s votes? Hopefully we’ll find out and that person will face the wrath of an entire nation.
• Let’s move on, staying on the topic of scum.
• As predicted, a speaker at the Dump rally and his racist comments about Puerto Rico on Sunday night has sparked outrage among Republicans in Florida, home to the largest population of Puerto Ricans in the continental United States.
• If you weren’t aware, the first speaker at the MAGA rally at Madison Square Garden, some guy named Tony Hinchcliffe who I’d never heard of but apparently MAGA people like, described the American territory as a “floating island of garbage.”
• While the Dump campaign panicked and tried to distance itself from the racist comments, the “joke” was on at the teleprompter and had been vetted by the campaign, meaning they did indeed approve of the message.
• As a result, by Sunday evening several high-profile Puerto Ricans threw their support to Harris, including singers Ricky Martin, Jennifer Lopez, and Luis Fonsi. Meanwhile, Puerto Rican rap star Bad Bunny reposted Harris’ video supporting Puerto Rico four times.
• A former Department of Homeland Security official under Dumpy the Racist Clown also said that Dump called Puerto Rico “dirty,” its residents “poor,” and inquired whether the American territory could be swapped for Greenland.
• Quick side note: apparently it was Joe Rogan who suggested to Dump that Hinchcliffe appear at his rally. If so… we owe a huge debt of gratitude to Rogan for having undermined Dump at the worst possible time.
• And final note: for people like JD Vance and others who say that Puerto Ricans should just “lighten up” and accept “jokes” at their expense, I say… you have just told me that you never met a Puerto Rican.
• They are very proud people and don’t take shit like this lightly.
• Moving on.
• Today, Vice President Harris will deliver a campaign speech at the Ellipse in Washington, D.C.
• It’s not a random location; that’s where Dumples the Sad Clown delivered his speech on January 6, 2021 — which led to the insurrection at the U.S. Capitol.
• Today’s high-profile speech is one of the last remaining opportunities for the vice president to try to reach a critical segment of the electorate known inside the campaign as “conflicted voters.”
• Those are people who have serious concerns with Dump’s conduct, but who are not yet convinced Harris is a candidate who can get the country on track.
• Will one speech move significantly that needle? Probably not. But it’s also intended to draw a clear contrast with Dump’s controversial Madison Square Garden Nazi rally.
• In other news…
• You may (or may not, I don’t give a shit) have noticed that I haven’t wasted any space here on Elon Musk’s ridiculous attempt to buy votes with million-dollar giveaways.
• I knew it was shady. Now Philadelphia’s district attorney has asked a state judge to shut it down, calling it an “illegal lottery scheme.”
• Philly DA Larry Krasner filed the civil lawsuit yesterday against Musk and his pro-Trump group, America PAC.
• “America PAC and Musk are lulling Philadelphia citizens – and others in the Commonwealth (and other swing states in the upcoming election) – to give up their personal identifying information and make a political pledge in exchange for the chance to win $1 million,” the lawsuit alleges. “That is a lottery. And it is indisputably an unlawful lottery.”
• I completely fucking agree! Side note: as part of my job for my clients, I often run contests and promotions and sweepstakes to help promote their brands. We have to steer very clear of anything even resembling a lottery for these same reasons.
• Pennsylvania law requires all lotteries to be “operated and administered by the state” – and that Musk’s daily $1 million giveaway must be halted because it’s operating outside of those legal guardrails.
• Also noted by the DA’s office: “Though Musk says that a winner’s selection is ‘random,’ that appears false because multiple winners that have been selected are individuals who have shown up at Trump rallies in Pennsylvania.”
• What, so it’s also fixed? I’m so completely shocked. I never saw that coming, said the guy who 100% saw it coming.
• Let’s move on.
• In our continuing coverage of the assholes who attempted and failed a coup against the USA, let’s talk about Hollywood actor Jay Johnston, who’s had supporting roles in "Anchorman," "Mr. Show," "Arrested Development,” and "Bob's Burgers.”
• Yesterday, Johnson was sentenced to 12 months and a day in federal prison for his role in the January 6 insurrection at the U.S. Capitol. He’d been arrested in June 2023 and pleaded guilty in July to a felony offense of obstructing officers during a civil disorder.
• Federal prosecutors had sought 18 months in federal prison for Johnston, topping their sentencing memo off with a photo of Johnson in which he "made light of his participation in the riot by dressing up as Jacob Chansley, known as the 'QAnon Shaman,' at a Halloween party that he attended" in 2023.
• More than 1,500 people have been arrested in connection with the Capitol attack, and federal prosecutors have secured the convictions of over 1,100 defendants so far.
• And it will continue until every one of the anti-American pieces of shit face justice. Additional arrests took place just last week, including numerous rioters charged with assaulting officers during the attack.
• In other news…
• The Washington Post has been rocked by a tidal wave of cancellations from digital subscribers and a series of resignations from columnists, as the paper grapples with the fallout of owner Jeff Bezos’s decision to block an endorsement of Kamala Harris for president.
• More than 200,000 people — holy shit! — had canceled their digital subscriptions by midday yesterday. The figure represents almost 10% of the paper’s paid circulation of 2.5 million subscribers.
• And the number of cancellations continued to grow Monday afternoon. Good job, Bezos. Slow clap.
• Also, yesterday two more members of The WaP editorial board stepped down over the incident. The two writers, David Hoffman and Molly Roberts, said they thought it was important for the paper to endorse Harris.
• I agree. Too late now.
• Let’s chat for a moment about how things will go one week from tonight, or rather, how they might go. No one actually knows for sure.
• In 2020, we voted on a Tuesday (as per our Constitution), but had to wait until Saturday before the vote tally had been confirmed and Joe Biden was named president.
• Those days in limbo just sucked. I mean, it was better than the year 2000, when we had to wait over a month until fucking December for a Supreme Court case to finalize the vote when Bush beat Gore.
• Remember the “hanging chads” in Florida? Jesus.
• Anyway, this year ballots will be counted faster than in 2020 — but everyone should still be prepared for a long night, if not a couple days of waiting.
• Fewer votes will be cast by mail compared with during the pandemic, and some states have tweaked their laws to speed up the count.
• But the single biggest factor that will determine when Americans know the winner is, however, out of the control of election workers: the margin of victory in key states.
• You know how some people say things like, “We always used to know the winner on election night!”
• Yeah, that’s total bullshit. First, results have never been official on the night of any election.
• But there have been elections where the results were so lopsided that unofficial winner announcement from news agencies like the Associated Press, Fox, CNN and the like have been comfortable calling the race that evening.
• The only way that could possibly happen in this election is for one of the candidates to win literally every East Coast and Midwest swing state.
• Which could actually happen. We don’t know.
• But what I’m saying here is, be prepared to exercise patience, and not freak out. I find it highly likely that Dump will declare victory long before the vote tallies are in.
• He’s setting up another round of election denying, just as he did in 2020. The stakes are way higher for him this time. If he loses, he remains on trial for dozens of felonies and likely is convicted and faces punishment.
• Anyway, be ready for whatever happens… that night and for months ahead.
• Some horrible news out of Kansas over the weekend, where a woman who was trying to take a photo backed into the spinning propellor of a plane. She was critically injured and died shortly thereafter.
• Jesus.
• She was identified as 37-year-old Amanda Gallagher of Wichita, KS. She’d been on a skydiving flight as an observer in order to take photos.
• After the airplane landed, for unknown reasons, as the next group of jumpers were boarding, she moved in front of the wing, a complete violation of all basic safety procedures.
• Folks… there’s something I’ve begged of you in relation to many circumstances in life: please have some situational awareness and be aware of your surroundings at all times.
• I sometimes think that with all the gaming and virtual reality that many of us enjoy, some folks have forgotten that you don’t respawn after being killed in real life, And it often hurts a lot.
• Let’s move on to a sad but not-unexpected story that tells you the state of the music recording industry in 2024.
• English singer-songwriter and actress Lily Allen has reported that her foot pics on OnlyFans make more money than her music does on Spotify.
• She charges $10 per month on her OnlyFans account, which would come out to around $10,000 per month based on her subscriber count.
• In comparison, she has 7.5 million monthly listeners on Spotify, which pays out between $.003 and $.005 per stream to artists.
• So those thousand people who masturbate to her feet give her more income than nearly 8,000,000 people who listen to her music.
• And you wonder why musicians see bitter.
• And now, The Weather: “Goldfish” by Wand
• From the Sports Desk… the dominant Dodgers took a 3-0 lead in the World Series last night, beating the Yankees at home 4-2. It was nearly a shutout; the Bronx Bombers got two runs in the ninth but it was too little, too late.
• Game 4 — and possibly the final one of the season if the Dodgers complete the sweep — is tonight.
• In Monday Night Football, the Steelers beat the Giants 26-18. Russell Wilson had a reasonably good game for Pittsburgh, throwing for 278 yards, one TD, and no picks.
• As we’ll be shifting quickly to more NFL coverage after baseball ends, here are the best teams in each conference as we head toward the second half of the season.
• AFC: Chiefs (7-0), Texans (6-2), Steelers (6-2), Bills (6-2), and Broncos (5-3).
• NFC: Lions (6-1), Commanders (6-2), Packers (6-2), Vikings (5-2), and Eagles (5-2).
• Today in history… First trial for witchcraft in Paris leading to the death of three people (1390). Sir Walter Raleigh is beheaded for allegedly conspiring against James I of England (1618). Mount Hood in Oregon is named after Samuel Hood by Lt. William E. Broughton (1792). Eighteen countries meet in Geneva and agree to form the International Red Cross (1863). Second trial of Sacco and Vanzetti in Boston, MA (1921). The New York Stock Exchange crashes in what will be called the Crash of '29 or "Black Tuesday", beginning the Great Depression (1929). The first-ever computer-to-computer link is established on ARPANET, the precursor to the Internet (1969). Space Shuttle Discovery blasts off on STS-95 with 77-year-old John Glenn on board, making him the oldest person to go into space at that time (1998). Delta Air Lines merges with Northwest Airlines, creating the world's largest airline and reducing the number of US legacy carriers to five (2008). Hurricane Sandy hits the east coast of the United States, killing 148 directly and 138 indirectly, while leaving nearly $70 billion in damages and causing major power outages (2012). China announces the end of its one-child policy after 35 years (2015).
• October 29 is the birthday of author Jean Giraudoux (1882), Nazi piece of shit Joseph Goebbels (1897), writer Dominick Dunne (1925), animator Ralph Bakshi (1938), painter Bob Ross (1942), film producer Don Simpson (1943), actor Richard Dreyfuss (1947), singer-songwriter Kevin DuBrow (1955), actor Dan Castellaneta (1957), actress Joely Fisher (1967), actress Wynona Ryder (1971), actress Gabrielle Union (1972), swimmer Amanda Beard (1981), NFL player Andy Dalton (1987), and singer-songwriter Tove Lo (1987).

As always, there’s more news, but not more time, and my day is super busy, as referenced up top. I’m always confident that I’ll do whatever I need to do, because I am still here and alive and have lived up to most of my previous expectations. No reason to change now. Enjoy your day.