Random News: November 26, 2024

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s November 26, 2024, and it’s a Tuesday. Although it’s just two days from Thanksgiving, I’m still in super busy mode. I figure if I make it past today’s round of meetings and deadlines and obligations, things should start to chill out a little. I’m looking forward to that.

• Getting started today, there’s something I want to make clear… this false narrative that Dumpy won the election by some huge margin is complete bullshit.
• Let’s take a look at the real popular vote tally as it stands this very moment.
• Donald J. Trump: 77,034,011 (49.86%)
• Kamala D. Harris: 74,563,603 (48.26%)
• That’s one of the closest margins of popular vote victory in presidential election history. It’s literally a 1.60% margin of victory. It was one of the closest races in the past 100 years.
• So don’t let anyone tell you about some kind of “mandate,” or pretend it was a landslide.
• While Dump handily won the electoral vote overall (which is the one that actually matters), it was actually only by small margins in a set of swing states.
• More than half the country is not supportive of Dump as president, and that fact will become more and more clear as Dump’s policies begin to take shape after he takes office.
• As the old curse goes, may you live in interesting times.
• Moving on.
• In news that hopefully doesn’t surprise or sadden you, special counsel Jack Smith said yesterday that he is dropping his election subversion case against Dumpy, seeking the case’s dismissal in a court filing with the judge.
• Dump had long said he would fire Smith once he retook the office, shattering previous norms around special counsel investigations.
• But as Smith wrote in a six-page filing, “The Justice Department’s position is that the Constitution requires that this case be dismissed before the defendant is inaugurated. This outcome is not based on the merits or strength of the case against the defendant.”
• A few hours later, U.S. District Judge Tanya Chutkan granted Smith's request. 
• They are both following along the direction of the Constitution, requiring sitting Presidents to not face prosecution.
• Even so, this was the only time in U.S. history that a former occupant of the White House faced federal criminal charges.
• Though the election subversion case culminated in a landmark Supreme Court ruling this summer that said Dump enjoyed some presidential immunity from criminal prosecution, that was never truly tested.
• Dump’s strategy of delay in the case ensured that a trial never got underway before the election. And now, of course, it’s too late.
• If you were brought up to believe that no one is above the law, that adage has been thoroughly disproven now. It’s pretty obvious that anyone with enough money or power can do whatever they want, and laws are for the rest of us.
• Let’s move on.
• Dumpy once again made threats to impose sweeping new tariffs on Mexico, Canada, and China as soon as he takes office.
• Dump’s tariffs — if he actually follows through, which is always a question mark with all the shit that guy talks — would dramatically raise prices on everything from gas to automobiles. The U.S. is the largest importer of goods in the world, with Mexico, China, and Canada its top three suppliers.
• Dumples the Clown made the threats in a pair of social posts last night, in which he railed against an influx of illegal migrants, even though southern border crossings have been hovering at a four-year low.
• He wrote, “On January 20th, as one of my many first Executive Orders, I will sign all necessary documents to charge Mexico and Canada a 25% Tariff on ALL products coming into the United States, and its ridiculous Open Borders.”
• The other aspect of tariffs that are inevitable… when countries impose them, they get imposed.
• Mexico President Claudia Sheinbaum said today that they could retaliate with tariffs of its own.
• “One tariff would be followed by another in response, and so on until we put at risk common businesses,” Sheinbaum said, referring to U.S. automakers that have plants on both sides of the border.
• If I were you, I would start planning today on an economy where American consumers can no longer afford much beyond necessities.
• And yes, once again, we told you what tariffs were before you voted for the guy. So now you get to pay the price, literally.
• Moving on.
• Following up from yesterday (and my previous reports at the time the crime happened), Susan Lorincz, 60, was sentenced to 25 years in prison for fatally shooting her neighbor, a Black mother of four.
• Judge Robert Hodges said Lorincz had ample time to call law enforcement and that there was no real risk that Owens was trying to break into her home. he said, “The shooting was based, I find, more in anger than in fear.”
• Yup.
• As you shouldn’t find shocking — in Florida, anyway — the authorities and prosecutors involved came under scrutiny in the wake of Owens's killing.
• Why? Due to the choice to charge Lorincz with manslaughter instead of second-degree murder, as well as the fact that Lorincz was not immediately taken into custody after the shooting occurred. 
• Typical. Well, enjoy the rest of your life behind bars, lady.
• Wait… we have another news item from the Crime Desk about another woman in Florida? Say it ain’t so!
• A 22-year-old social media influencer on TikTok with nearly 300,000 followers has been arrested after using fake barcodes to steal from Target and filming herself getting ready before the theft.
• What. A. Dumbass.
• She was caught on video at a Target in Cape Coral, FL, scanning false barcodes with cheaper prices. 16 items of miscellaneous household goods and clothing were stolen with a total retail value of $500.32.
• An anonymous tipster led cops to check out Marlena Velez’s TikTok account, where she (drum roll please)… documents herself picking out items inside the store and placing them in her car after exiting the store.
• It’s like, I can’t even respect these people for their nefarious deeds, because they’re so fucking stupid. Posting videos of yourself committing crimes is not the work of a criminal mastermind.
• Velez was arrested and taken to the Lee County Jail and charged with petit theft of less than $750.
• Let’s move on to the bittersweet tale of President Joe Biden having kicked off his final holiday season at the White House yesterday.
• He issued the traditional reprieve to two turkeys who will bypass the Thanksgiving table to live out their days in southern Minnesota.
• Biden welcomed 2,500 guests to the South Lawn under sunny skies as he cracked jokes about the fates of “Peach” and “Blossom” and sounded wistful tones about the last weeks of his presidency after a half-century in Washington power circles.
• “It’s been the honor of my life. I’m forever grateful,” Biden said, taking note of his impending departure on January 20, 2025.
• In the giant book of “What If…?”, it’s impossible to say what might have happened had Biden either chosen not to run in 2024, or dropped out a good deal earlier than he did, giving Kamala Harris more time to for an extended campaign.
• But I’m not mad at Joe. We had our chance to avoid a fascist dictatorship, and the people have spoken.
• And now, The Weather: “Nobody Loves You More” by Kim Deal
• From the Sports Desk… the Ravens (8-4) beat the Chargers (7-4) 30-23 on Monday Night Football last night. Powerhouse running back Derrick Henry carried the Ravens literally, with 24 carries for 140 yards.
• Baltimore is coached by John Harbaugh; LA is coached by his little brother Jim Harbaugh. The elder bro is now 3-0 against his younger sibling.
• Today in history… Vlad the Impaler becomes the ruler of Wallachia for the third time (1476). In the Hawaiian Islands, Captain James Cook becomes the first European to visit Maui (1778). A national Thanksgiving Day is observed in the United States as proclaimed by President George Washington at the request of Congress (1789). United States President Abraham Lincoln proclaims November 26 as a national Thanksgiving Day, to be celebrated annually on the final Thursday of November (1863). The National Hockey League is formed, with the Montreal Canadiens, Montreal Wanderers, Ottawa Senators, Quebec Bulldogs, and Toronto Arenas as its first teams (1917). Howard Carter and Lord Carnarvon become the first people to enter the tomb of Pharaoh Tutankhamun in over 3000 years (1922). ‘Casablanca’ premieres in New York City (1942). George W. Bush is certified the winner of Florida's electoral votes by Katherine Harris, going on to win the United States presidential election, despite losing in the national popular vote (2000). The World Health Organization identifies the SARS-CoV-2 Omicron variant (2021). 
• November 26 is the birthday of organist/composer Johannes Bach (1604), minister/philanthropist John Harvard (1607), physicist Rudolph Koenig (1832), policeman/journalist Bat Masterson (1853), inventor Willis Carrier (1876), AA founder/activist Bill W. (1895), cartoonist Charles M. Schulz (1922), actor Robert Goulet (1933), bass player Bob Babbitt (1937), comedian Rich Little (1938), singer-songwriter Tina Turner (1939), bass player John McVie (1945), producer Michael Omartian (1945), NFL player Art Shell (1946), NFL player Harry Carson (1953), NBA player Shawn Kemp (1969), NHL player Chris Osgood (1972), rapper DJ Khaled (1975), and NBA player Malik Beasley (1996).

That seems like enough news and stuff for now. Time for me to do various things. Enjoy your day.