Random News: July 24, 2025

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s July 24, 2025, and it’s a Thursday for some reason. Here I come to save the day; Mighty Zak is on his way.

• It’s now been confirmed that Dump has known he was in the Epstein files at least as far back as May of this year. I hope no one is surprised by this revelation, as reported yesterday by the Wall Street Journal.
• But it was confirmed that it was this spring when Attorney General Pam Bondi informed Dump that his name appeared multiple times in files related to the investigation of the disgraced financier.
• Bondi’s review — which went over several unsubstantiated claims that the Justice Department alleges they found not to be credible — included those relating to Trump.
• “Nothing in the files warranted further investigation or prosecution,” Bondi and her deputy wrote in a statement.
• Shouldn’t they just release them so we can see for ourselves?
• To that end…
• In news that we predicted with near certainty — and yet will still surprise some people who don’t know how life works — yesterday, U.S. District Judge Robin Rosenberg rejected Dump’s half-hearted request to unseal transcripts from grand jury investigations of Epstein.
• A similar records request is pending in New York, but I wouldn’t count on that either.
• So let’s start with an important point: Dump will try to say, “Oh well, we tried to give you the Epstein list but the liberal Democrat judges wouldn’t allow us to. Let’s get back to terrorizing brown people.”
• But that’s not what’s happening. First, Judge Rosenberg said the request to release grand jury documents from 2005 and 2007 did not meet any of the extraordinary exceptions under federal law that could make them public.
• Second, there are other sources of info that relate to Epstein, and those will be vigorously pursued — especially by people who were promised they’d learn more about who was patronizing Epstein with upward of 1,000 children that he’d procured for sex with powerful men.
• But wait. We have another big Epstein-related story.
• Yesterday, a House Oversight subcommittee voted to subpoena the Department of Justice to release files related to Epstein. The motion to get all records related to the Epstein investigation passed 8-2.
• This isn’t just Democrats. GOP Reps. Nancy Mace (R-SC), Scott Perry (R-PA), and Brian Jack (R-GA) joined with the panel’s four Democrats and the full committee’s ranking member Robert Garcia to approve the subpoena.
• This is a major move of defiance against House GOP leadership, who’d planned to leave the handling of the Epstein files to the Dump administration.
• House Oversight Chair James Comer will be required to sign the subpoena before it can officially be issued, according to committee rules.
• All of this has been a long time coming.
• It was back in 2008 that Epstein somehow cut a deal with federal prosecutors in Florida that allowed him to escape more severe federal charges, and instead plead guilty to state charges of procuring a person under 18 for prostitution and solicitation of prostitution.
• But then he was arrested in 2019 on federal sex trafficking charges.
• A month after he was arrested, Epstein was found dead in his cell at a federal jail in New York City. According to Dump, Epstein killed himself. But the video surveillance of his cell has several notable gaps.
• Epstein’s former girlfriend, Ghislaine Maxwell, was charged with helping him abuse teenage girls. She was convicted at trial and sentenced to 20 years in prison.
• That’s enough for now. The story of Jeffrey Epstein and his close connection to Donnie Dump isn’t going away.
• Let’s move on.
• Yesterday, the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 9th Circuit said that Dump's executive order curtailing birthright citizenship is unconstitutional.
• Because OF COURSE IT FUCKING IS.
• The policy was already on hold. But yesterday's decision marks the first time that an appellate court has weighed in on the merits of Dumpy’s attempt to end birthright citizenship for children born in the USA. 
• The panel of judges wrote that Dump's order is "invalid because it contradicts the plain language of the Fourteenth Amendment's grant of citizenship to 'all persons born in the United States and subject to the jurisdiction thereof.'"
• Will Dump now try to take the case to the Supreme Court? That would be his usual modus operandi. And will the Supreme Court overturn the 14th Amendment? I’m sure Dump would like it if they did.
• Moving on with some important news from the Immigration Desk…
• Yesterday, U.S. District Judge Paula Xinis barred federal immigration authorities from immediately taking Kilmar Abrego Garcia into custody once he is released from criminal confinement in Tennessee.
• Abrego the Maryland father of three who was “mistakenly” deported to El Salvador in March.
• She also ordered Dump to provide Abrego 72 hours' notice if his ICE goons plan to initiate proceedings to remove him to a country that is not his place of origin.
• Additionally, U.S. District Judge Waverly D. Crenshaw Jr. ordered that Abrego be released from criminal detention as he awaits trial on human smuggling charges.
• Crenshaw, denied the Justice Department's request to revoke an order allowing Abrego to be released while awaiting a criminal trial, writing that the government "failed to carry its burden of showing that no condition or combination of conditions will reasonably assure Abrego's appearance or the safety of others."
• Yesterday’s orders marked a pair of resounding defeats for the Dump administration. It remained unclear yesterday when Abrego could be released from U.S. Marshals custody in Tennessee. A local magistrate judge issued a 30-day stay on his release, pending a further order.
• Let’s keep moving on.
• Remember right-wing podcast host Candace Owens? She’d about to get her entire ass handed to her by French President Emmanuel Macron and his wife Brigitte Macron.
• Yesterday, they filed a massive defamation lawsuit against Owens in response to claims she peddled that France's first lady was born a man.
• It’s high time that these assholes get to keep making untrue statements with zero accountability or repercussions.
• The 22-count complaint was filed in Delaware Superior Court and seeks damages from Owens, who broadcast an eight-part series spreading allegations about the Macrons, including that Brigitte Macron was born a man, stole another person's identity, and transitioned to a woman.
• None of that is true. The Macrons said they decided to file their lawsuit after Owens doubled down on the falsehoods despite their lawyers' retraction requests.
• In addition to naming Owens as a defendant, the suit names her company, Candace Owens LLC, and the operator of her website, GeorgeTom, Inc.
• The baseless claims targeting Brigitte Macron were picked up by Owens in March 2024, while she was working for The Daily Wire, a conservative media outlet co-founded by Ben Shapiro.
• I genuinely hope they leave her penniless.
• Moving on.
• The Pentagon's internal watchdog has obtained evidence that encrypted messages sent from Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth's Signal account included details from a classified email.
• As you hopefully recall, the chat messages listed out information on a planned U.S. bombing operation in Yemen in March, and were sent to several Trump administration officials in a Signal group — which became public when a reporter was inadvertently added to the chat.
• At the time, administration officials denied that any classified information was shared in the chat.
• But key information in the messages was derived from a classified email marked "SECRET//NOFORN," per two officials, who both requested anonymity to speak about an ongoing investigation. 
• The "SECRET" designation means that the information was classified and the disclosure of this information could potentially cause serious damage to national security, potentially jeopardizing the safety of service members.
• The "NOFORN" label means the information can only be disseminated to U.S. agencies and individuals, excluding foreign nationals and even close U.S. allies. 
• Despite their denials, it’s clear that the information Hegseth posted in the encrypted Signal chat group was derived from a classified email sent out by Gen. Michael "Erik" Kurilla to dozens of defense officials.
• I can’t wait to see every one of these pieces of shit go down in flames.
• From the Entertainment Desk…
• I woke up this morning to my entire social media feed buzzing about the premiere of the 27th season of the animated show South Park.
• Just one day before the episode aired, South Park’s creators signed a $1.5 billion deal with Paramount. 
• And then, the episode aired and covered topics including Dump’s lawsuit against Paramount, the cancellation of The Late Show With Stephen Colbert, wokeness, Dump’s attacks on Canada and more.
• There is also an extended scene featuring a hyper-realistic, deepfake video of Dump, completely naked, walking in a desert. There are repeated depictions of Dump having a micropenis.
• God bless Matt Stone and Trey Parker.
• And now, The Weather: “This Morning Six Rabbits Were Born” by Goon
• Instead of a music chart today, I’d like to make my own best-of list… of Presidents of the United States of America.
• Is this as subjective as music? Almost, but presidents have a more tangible record of what they did for the country during their time in office and the era in which they served (and the myriad circumstances that affected it).
• In any case, my list is probably different than your list, or the list of various scholars. But it’s mine. I’m not going to list my whole criteria, but trust that I have reasons for my choices and their relative positions on my list.
• Also be aware that no human is perfect, and presidents are very human. I can name negative aspects of each of the people I list below. They’re just not enough to offset what I felt were their good qualities in leading the USA.
• 1. George Washington. 2. Abraham Lincoln. 3. Franklin Delano Roosevelt. 4. Barack Obama. 5. Thomas Jefferson. 6. Dwight D. Eisenhower. 7. Bill Clinton. 8. Ulysses S. Grant. 9. John F. Kennedy. 10. Lyndon B. Johnson. 11. Theodore Roosevelt. 12. Joe Biden. 13. Harry S. Truman. 14. John Adams. 15. William Howard Taft. 16. Woodrow Wilson. 17. Jimmy Carter. 18. James Monroe. 19. Grover Cleveland. 20. James Madison.
• The worst presidents? Sure… but I’m not ranking them. They don’t merit the thought that would need to go into it.
• Donald Trump, James Buchanan, Franklin Pierce, George W. Bush, Warren G. Harding, Richard Nixon, Andrew Jackson, Andrew Johnson, and Millard Fillmore… with Dump being the absolute worst by a long mile.
• Back in the music realm for a moment, I wanted to note how gratifying it’s been to see Ozzy Osbourne celebrated as a hero, rather than cast as a villain after his passing.
• Remember, when we were young, Ozzy was painted as a Satan-worshipping freak who severely abused alcohol and drugs, and bit the heads off live animals.
• Um… well, he never worshipped Satan.
• He was also vilified for basic rock star bad behavior. Do any of you remember when Ozzy drunkenly pissed on the Alamo in 1982? Yesterday, even they wrote him a note of admiration in memoriam.
• “We at the Alamo are saddened to hear of the passing of legendary musician Ozzy Osbourne. His relationship with the Alamo was marked initially by a deeply disrespectful incident in 1982. This act profoundly and rightfully upset many who hold this site sacred. However, redemption and reconciliation eventually became part of his history as well.”
• At the time, he was arrested and charged with public intoxication and urination, but was bailed out for $40… and still made it to his concert that night on time.
• Another Ozzy item that might surprise you.
• At a show in the 1980s, one of his band members made a homophobic comment onstage.
• Ozzy didn’t accept that shit. He denounced it and made donations to AIDS Long Beach and other LGBTQ+ organizations in the wake of the incident. Ozzy wanted queer fans to feel welcome in the realm of metal.
• Despite all the insanity of his life, Ozzy’s outlook was actually very positive, and his lyrical messaging, while simple, was often inspiring and upbeat.
• “Maybe it's not too late to learn how to love and forget how to hate.”
• I’d like to think that’s still true. RIP Ozzy.
• Meanwhile, a much lesser-known rocker also passed away, and I don’t want him to be fully overshadowed.
• RIP to George Kooymans, the co-founder, guitarist and occasional singer for the Dutch rock band Golden Earring. Kooymans wrote both of the band’s huge international hits: “Radar Love” in 1973, and “Twilight Zone” in 1982.
• He was an outstanding guitar player and songwriter. Kooymans died yesterday of ALS, a disease he’d battled for the past four years.
• From the Sports Desk… the first NFL preseason game of the year is literally one week from tonight. I am beyond thrilled that football is coming back.
• That meaningless game — set for Thursday July 31 — is called the Hall of Fame Game, and is played, appropriately, in Canton, OH, as part of the larger Hall of Fame Enshrinement Week, which will see the newest class of Hall of Fame inductees honored.
• The game will feature the Los Angeles Chargers against the Detroit Lions. It’s preseason; I don’t give a shit who wins. In fact, I am pretty opposed to preseason entirely. All you need is some crucial player getting a major injury and being out for the games that matter.
• We covered this year’s HOF inductees months ago, but if you want a reminder: the Class of 2025 includes tight end Antonio Gates, defensive end Jared Allen, cornerback Eric Allen, and wide receiver Sterling Sharpe. This class represents the smallest group of inductees in 20 years.
• Today in history… Louis VII of France lays siege to Damascus (1148). Mary, Queen of Scots, is forced to abdicate and be replaced by her one-year-old son James VI (1567). Antoine de la Mothe Cadillac founds the trading post at Fort Pontchartrain, which later becomes the city of Detroit (1701). Tennessee becomes the first U.S. state to be readmitted to Congress following the American Civil War (1866). Hiram Bingham III re-discovers Machu Picchu, "the Lost City of the Incas” (1911). The Kellogg–Briand Pact, renouncing war as an instrument of foreign policy, goes into effect (1929). Operation Gomorrah has British and Canadian airplanes bomb Hamburg by night, and American planes bomb the city by day, killing more than 30,000 people and destroying 280,000 buildings (1943). Apollo 11 splashes down safely in the Pacific Ocean (1969). The United States Supreme Court unanimously ruled that President Richard Nixon did not have the authority to withhold subpoenaed White House tapes and they order him to surrender the tapes to the Watergate special prosecutor (1974). George Brett playing for the Kansas City Royals against the New York Yankees, has a game-winning home run nullified in the "Pine Tar Incident” (1983). Boris Johnson becomes Prime Minister of the United Kingdom after defeating Jeremy Hunt in a leadership contest, succeeding Theresa May (2019).
• July 24 is the birthday of politician Simón Bolivar (1783), novelist Alexandre Dumas (1802), composer Ernest Bloch (1880), pilot Amelia Earhart (1897), activist/politician Bella Abzug (1920), cartoonist Pat Oliphant (1935), comedian Ruth Buzzi (1936), actor Dan Hedaya (1940), comedian Gallagher (1946), actor/comedian Michael Richards (1949), actress Lynda Carter (1951), director Gus Van Sant (1952), politician Claire McCaskill (1953), politician Charlie Crist (1956), NBA player Karl Malone (1963), MLB player Barry Bonds (1964), actress Kristin Chenowith (1968), singer Jennifer Lopez (1969), actress Rose Byrne (1979), actress Elizabeth Moss (1982), actress Anna Paquin (1982), and conservationist Bindi Irwin (1998). 

So there you go. Lots and lots of things going on, as is often the case. Try not to have it overwhelm you. Instead, go with the flow. Maybe someday we’ll all figure out what actually happened. Maybe not. Enjoy your day.