Hi there. It is me, Zak Claxton, your faithful reporter of daily Random News bullets, here to talk about something entirely different. I'm back from one of my very rare vacations — this time to Las Vegas, a city I've visited many times in the past and will almost certainly visit again in the future — and thought I'd share some thoughts and recollections from the past four days.
Las Vegas Is Stupid. I Like It.
When I say Vegas is stupid, I don't mean it in any kind of insulting way. What I mean is that if you're looking for intellectual stimulation, or art, or culture, or natural beauty, or insightful knowledge, or introspective quiet, you can go almost any place on the planet that's not Las Vegas, and you will find reams of it in some way, shape, or form.
No, Vegas is best summed up as a place where people do the things that they'd be hesitant to do wherever they actually reside. And the reason they don't do those things in their regular everyday life is because those activities appeal to the most base of human desires. Whether it's gambling or sex or intoxicants or food or whatever floats their boat, Vegas is where people feel free to overindulge in risky behavior. And Vegas offers all of those things in droves.
And that's okay, at least in moderation. I think everyone has to let loose from time to time. The problem is that most humans aren't very capable of acting in moderation, and are even less so inclined when huge crowds around them are doing the same activities.
Get used to sights such as this. They happen much more often than the rewarding experience of a big payout.
Why Go On Vacation? And Why Vegas in August?
You saw up top that I described my vacation time as "rare," and that's the truth by anyone's measure. I own a small business with no other employees. If I'm gone, literally nothing gets done. Ultimately, I have long-term clients that have come to rely on my services as if I was an employee, which is great. But it also leaves me in the position of being very responsible for important business actions, and when I'm not around, projects pile up and my stress level goes up, rather than the opposite effect intended,
But no one can work constantly and expect to be effective at their jobs. Also, people who never take any time off tend to drop dead, and then I'd definitely not be effectively serving my business clients as a corpse. I'm not a masochist or an idiot; I know that vacations are good in many ways.
The view from my 26th floor window at Mandalay Bay, looking northward up the strip.
Another view from my room, this time to the west: Allegiant Stadium, home of the Las Vegas Raiders. I'd never seen it in person before. You can actually take a walkway straight from Mandalay Bay over to the stadium in just minutes. I'll bet it's crazy here on home game days.
This trip was the result of my ladywoman Kat having pointed out that August 1 marked our 20 years together as a couple. It seemed a very good reason to do something special to mark the occasion. As people who know me are well aware, most of my vacations have been to the quiet and peaceful sanctitude of California's high desert, namely Joshua Tree. But Joshua Tree in August is... fucking hot. Dangerously hot. And you don't get much relief from that heat in a desert cabin. We've been there in late June and that was hard to handle for days on end.
Is Vegas hot in August? You bet your ass it is. Each day of the trip, the high temps hovered around 107ยบ F in the late afternoon. That's fucking hot too... but as anyone who goes there often knows, you're rarely compelled to spend much — if any — time outside, if you don't want to. And in fact, since several parts of the Las Vegas Strip are connected via indoor pathways of various sorts, you could conceivably spend days in the city and never go outside even once, while enjoying the incredibly comfortable air-conditioned spaces of multiple casinos. Plus, not to overuse a cliche, it truly is a dry heat. Dry to the point that you feel like you're in the world's largest and hottest blow dryer when you step out for a few seconds. No thanks.
Is it hot in Las Vegas in August? Captain Obvious says yes, yes it is.
A rare outdoors moment, on a moving sidewalk between NYNY and Excalibur.
Mandalay Bay Is Pretty Cool
I have to say, we have zero complaints about Mandalay Bay. I'm not here to write a huge-ass review of the place; I'm sure you can find thousands of those on all the usual travel sites and YouTube vlog channels. But I'll give you a couple of personal observations and anecdotes.
First was its efficiency. Getting in and out of Mandalay Bay is probably easier than any other casino property in Vegas. It's the closest one to Harry Reid International Airport, so your cab is going to be a reasonable (by current standards) $21 ride plus tip. Pay cash for your cab if you don't want to be dinged by a surcharge.
Oh, and speaking of cash: casino ATM machines will absolutely mug you. A withdrawal of cash will cost you $11.99, and your own bank will probably hit you with a surcharge as well. You're much better off getting into town with cash already in hand.
Anyway, we arrived pretty early on Thursday July 31, and our very courteous person at the reception desk gave us early check-in with no added fees. That helped start our trip on a positive note. In all aspects, I'd rate the staff at Mandalay Bay as being friendly and helpful at every interaction.
Arriving at Mandalay Bay and getting checked in on Thursday.
I'd also say that the property itself, from the rooms to the casino to the overall establishment, seemed very well maintained and nicely designed. It's obvious that the entities responsible for Mandalay Bay's floor plan and upkeep, despite not being one of the newer casinos on the Strip at this point, do excellent work. I'd have no qualms about staying there again.
Another note about Mandalay Bay itself, but it's about something in which we didn't partake directly. The property is well known for their giant pools and water features, which actually look really cool. However, as mentioned above, at was 107 fucking degrees. Kat and I live in Redondo Beach, CA, where it's typically in the low 70s even in mid-summer. We weren't about to spend a bunch of time outside. Also, we're in our fifties and are therefore perhaps less inclined to strut around being somewhat close to naked in public.
The reason I bring it up is that it's very common for much of the year to see people all over the property in swimwear, or walking around holding (or wearing) floaty tubes and other pool accoutrements. None of that bothered me; it was actually kind of entertaining trying to wedge into an elevator while three kids held pool toys that were larger than themselves. And yes, there are plenty of women and men walking around and showing off their toned and tanned bodies in various states of undress, if you enjoy such sights.
What sort of gaming do Kat and I enjoy doing? Really, almost anything, as long as we understand the rules and it looks fun. Here we are doing some video poker, but we also played a lot of slots, and she (more than I) enjoys things like roulette and blackjack.
Me watching Kat watching the wheel go round and round.
Kat and I tried a strategy this trip of playing games that we normally wouldn't have chosen, especially if they looked particularly dumb. This worked in exactly the same percentage of winning or losing as any other machine in the entire city.
One other quick note. I am not a fan of being amidst throngs of people packed into spaces, tight or otherwise. Some of the other casinos may feel more like a massive party or a music festival, but frankly that shit gets old fast. Vegas — like most travel destinations in the USA — is hurting due to Trump's terrible policies that discourage both domestic and international tourism. Some locals — perhaps exaggerating to a degree — are saying the city is a ghost town right now compared to its usual self. But even in more normal times, the south end of the Strip is always a little less crazy in terms of human density, which for me is a big bonus. You can more easily navigate around the property, and have your choice of machines to play when you're ready to do some gambling.
And I say that with the caveat that on Saturday night in Vegas, I don't care where you are... there are lots and lots of people around, the casinos floors are packed, and there is a vibrant environment that feels no less fun and exciting than any time I've been there.
We're also suckers for anything that has a big spinny wheel or some insane bonus game feature on a giant video screen.
Food Gluttony
Mandalay Bay has tons of great dining options that range from fast and casual to super high-end. We had a bunch of meals there, ranging from decadent breakfasts at Seabreeze Cafe to surprisingly great Asian food at Noodle Shop to reasonably-priced dinner at Citizens. We'd considered trying some of the higher-end places there, such as Michael Mina's Orla (a Mediterranean-themed establishment) or his StripSteak steakhouse, or fine Japanese cuisine at KUMI, but to be honest... we live in the LA area and we have so many great food options at home, we didn't feel the need to spend an insane amount of money for dinners while we were there.
Sitting down at Citizens. Kat had a ribeye, I had an Alfredo pasta, if you were wondering.
Grabbing some dinner at Slice of Vegas in the Shoppes.
Waiting to get into Seabreeze Cafe... it's worth it, though that's my hangry face.
Much happier while seated and awaiting our delicious breakfasts.
A side-note on food: if you find yourself at New York New York around lunchtime, do not sleep on Greenberg's Deli. Kat and I tend to visit there each time we're in town, and have never been disappointed by the corned beef on rye, or the very authentic matzo ball soup.
If you want some slightly cheaper or more kid-friendly fare, there's a food court at Mandalay Bay that — as long as you're willing to march for what seems like a mile over toward the hotel's convention center area — has burgers and pizza and the like. Also, The Shoppes at Mandalay Place — the walkway between Mandalay Bay and Luxor with a variety of retail stores — has several restaurants that are somewhat inexpensive and good.
In NYNY, sharing an amazing corned beef on rye at Greenberg's Deli.
The Phone Incident
One event that happened during the trip was something that, had it not turned out the way it did, could have really fucked up my ability to enjoy myself on my vacation. Kat and I had been playing some games in the Mandalay Bay casino on Saturday, and after a particularly bad luck streak, decided to head next door to Luxor to see if that would make a big difference (note: I have no idea if this is legit or not, but I do tend to do better gambling-wise when I first enter a new casino... unless it's New York New York, which seems to just fuck me over from the get-go).
We'd gone quite a ways, and were walking through the aforementioned Shoppes at Mandalay Place, just turning the corner to enter into Luxor, and I had the idea to check my phone to see how many thousands of steps that we'd taken so far that day. So I reached into my back pocket and... no phone.
I skidded to a halt and slapped my other pockets wildly. Still no phone. It was gone. It was then that I knew I had made a large mistake. But I did at least know what game I'd been playing last, and where that machine was located. Half walking, half running, I zoomed past Kat and, hauling ass back into Mandalay Bay, cut diagonally through the entire floor, practically shoving people out of my way. Ran back to that machine, and — sitting there with its glossy black screen against a glossy black background of the table's surface — was my trusty iPhone, untouched and sitting exactly where I'd left it.
Whew. Would it have been the end of the world? No, but I'd have spent the remainder of my vacation phoneless, and then spent a bunch more money after getting back to replace it. So, the running joke for the rest of the trip is that any time I'd get up to leave a gaming machine, I'd say to Kat, "Got my phone," while waving it in her direction. Side note: despite all that, later that same day, I fucking left it behind once again, but this time was only some 20 yards away when I realized, and went back to grab it while Kat eyed me warily.
My name is Zak, and I leave my phone in crowded rooms.
How To Not Ruin Your Vegas Vacation (or Possibly Your Life)
I'll repeat here an observation that I made during my trip: Vegas is not evil in and of itself, but if you're a person who is prone to self-destructive behavior, Vegas is the place where it's very easy to allow yourself to do things and act in ways that, in both the short and long term, can really fuck up your trip, or perhaps your whole life taken to extremes.
Let's start with the easiest aspect: gambling. You are surrounded by ways to gamble money, and as one wise cabbie once told me, the winners aren't the ones building those giant casino properties. Do you have a small chance to win big? Of course you do, and Kat and I have enjoyed a couple of occasions where we won so much at a single gaming machine that it easily paid for the entire trip and then some.
But those times are few and far between. My advice, if you want it: gambling is entertainment. It's a thrill. That act of doing it is the entertaining part. But the expectation that you're going to walk away from a casino with more money than when you went in is a ridiculously optimistic outlook. Instead, what you might consider is what I do, which is to allot a preset amount of gambling money for the entire trip. How much? That's totally on you. Maybe it's a few hundred bucks, maybe a few grand. But it's an amount that should you lose it all — and you should plan on doing just that — it doesn't result in your entire life being turned upside down. Don't gamble so much that you can't pay your rent, or afford food, or throw away your college fund, or any of those things.
A quick word of advice. When you're flinging money around willy-nilly, it's best if the money is tangible. A little print-out piece of paper of a casino voucher could be worth $10,000 or $0.10. If you want to better control of your gambling ups and down, start with a set amount and then just keep track of that straight cash, homie.
How did I do on this trip, gambling-wise? Not bad at all. I had a few really great moments, and also a series of near-total losses. At no point did I extend the amount I'd be willing to lose, or do another bank withdrawal to try and recoup my losses. By playing it smart and walking away when needed — as well as cashing out after my larger wins, as opposed to feeding the winnings back into the same machine — I made my predetermined gambling money stretch the whole trip. I have zero regrets and it was a lot of fun.
A tale of two faces. Left: missed the triple-deck flush by one card. Right: just got four queens.
Sometimes I did okay, though. And that, my friends, is how they get ya'.
Another thing is alcohol and drugs. I'd never preach from my high horse toward people who like to party. I spent a good chunk of my teens and twenties drinking and smoking and snorting damn near anything that came my way. But here's the thing: most people are prone to making bad decisions on the best day, even while totally sober. When you add in intoxication, you remove both your inhibitions and your ability to discern right from wrong. In a city like Vegas, that can be lethal.
Sex, Drugs, and Rock and Roll
A funny side note. I don't drink alcohol at all anymore, but I do smoke weed. Not a lot, mind you — in fact, the amount I purchase that would last a typical marijuana smoker a few weeks lasts me 6-8 months. But I do tend to smoke in the evenings to relax and to discourage bouts of insomnia. Anyway, the scent of really good weed is everywhere in Vegas. I found my little smoking spot outside the main lobby of Mandalay Bay, and enjoyed the fact that each evening when I went out there, there were always little groups of people passing around joints or pipes or other smoking utensils. Ever since it was legalized for recreational use in a number of states (including Nevada in 2017), even though people aren't supposed to smoke in public... they just do. Right before we left town on Sunday morning, there was a group of guys openly blowing huge Rastafarian-level clouds of weed smoke directly outside the doors of the airport.
A quick note about sex. While prostitution is legal in much of Nevada, it's not legal in its two most populous counties — Clark (which contains Las Vegas) and Washoe (which contains Reno). That being said, of course there are hookers in Vegas, like any major city... but there are also strip clubs and "escorts" and "masseuses" and "personal entertainment" and other people who will do various things for money. If there's a thing you're into, you can find someone and pay them to do that thing with you — true in most places, but more true in Vegas than anywhere else in the USA. With people being away from home and uninhibited, those things can seem appealing until you wake up the next day with a bad hangover and your bank account depleted in a big way. And with worse things that could ruin your health and your relationships and more.
Again, there are reasons why Vegas is nicknamed "Sin City." There are reasons the city's own tourism board used the "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" tagline for many years. A good portion of that city's appeal is directly related to the base desires of humans, and that's fine. Adults can make up their own minds and bear the consequences of their decisions. I'm not here to preach or tell you what's best for you (or assume it's the same as what's best for me). But I will say that with a little self-discipline, you can have a fucking great time in Vegas without fucking up your life in the process. If you're like me, you finish a trip there with no regrets and no guilt and no repercussions.
Another Vacation Done
Both Kat and I had a great time on this trip. As I said above, it was our 20th anniversary, and it felt right to do something different and special. Vegas is close enough to LA to be an easy flight; it's actually more affordable in many ways than other top destinations we might want to visit; and it's very different from our typical rustic and mellow desert trips, so that it's memorable when we want to do something to commemorate a special occasion.
At the airport and heading home with the entire Vegas strip skyline in the background.
If you're still smiling while heading through the airport toward a security line on your return flight, it was a good vacation.
One final trip note: once at the airport, I managed to ignore all security instructions and left my iPad and two containers of water in my backpack before sending it through the TSA screening. They really liked that a lot. Despite this blunder (which I blamed on complete inattentiveness and basically not giving a shit), we were through in no time, and the return trip was as easy and uneventful as the arrival was.
Are we going back to Vegas any time soon? Almost certainly not; our last trip there together was in 2017, so it'll probably be another number of years before we return again. But still, I'm not at all opposed to heading back to Las Vegas, as I've done many times sporadically for much of my life. I guess when you leave somewhere like Las Vegas without saying the words "never again" about any aspect of the trip, you did something right. We had a great time, the whole time. So yes, eventually we'll be there again, and as long as we're smart about it, it will again be fun.
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