Random News: August 30, 2025

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s August 30, 2025, and it’s a Saturday. It's way too warm and humid to be in a thick bathrobe, so I write to you on this fine morning wearing some shorts and a t-shirt. I still have my large mug of Peet’s coffee beside me. Major Dickson’s Blend this morning, if you’re keeping track for some reason.

• For those of you who’d been noting the news that Dumples the Unhealthy Clown hadn’t been seen in a few days, I’ve got bad news for you.
• He is — at least from what we can tell — alive. Dump was photographed in a golf cart this morning. He looked like shit, but he seemed to be among the living.
• Still, following the speculation on social media over the past day or so has been heartwarming and somewhat fascinating.
• I read posts about people putting together playlists for a “He’s Dead” dance party. Don’t live your life so that hundreds of millions of people are planning to celebrate your shucking of the mortal coil.
• Dump hadn’t appeared in public between Tuesday and Friday… rare for a narcissistic weirdo like him. But unless the White House is using AI (or they’re carting around a body double, or pulling a “Weekend at Bernie’s” where they’re just driving his corpse around the front nine), my opinion is that Dump is not dead.
• Yet.
• So let’s do some real news.
• Yesterday, a federal appeals court ruled that Dumpy had no legal right to impose sweeping tariffs, but they left his tariffs in place for now, knowing he’s going to appeal their ruling to the Supreme Court.
• The U.S. Court of Appeals for the Federal Circuit ruled 7-4 that Dump wasn’t legally allowed to declare national emergencies and impose import taxes on almost every country on earth, a ruling that largely upheld a May decision by a specialized federal trade court in New York.
• How did Dump take the news? Not well.
• “If allowed to stand, this Decision would literally destroy the United States of America,” Dump (or the people pretending to be Dump since he’s dead) wrote on social media.
• It goes without saying that Dump’s tariff taxes — and the shitty erratic way he’s rolled them out — have shaken global markets, alienated U.S. trading partners and allies, and raised fears of higher prices and slower economic growth.
• Making matters worse (for everyone), Dump’s government has argued that if the tariffs are struck down, it might have to refund some of the import taxes that it’s collected, delivering a financial blow to the U.S. Treasury.
• Hey Dumpy, what would happen then?
• “It would be 1929 all over again, a GREAT DEPRESSION!”
• Snorrrrrrt. And whose fault would that be, fat man?
• Legal side note: Dump’s assertion that the International Emergency Economic Powers Act (IEEPA) gives him unlimited power to tax imports quickly drew legal challenges — at least seven cases. No president had ever used the law to justify tariffs.
• We’ll be keeping an eye on that story. If I were a betting man, I’d unfortunately have to predict that the Supreme Court will side with him, as usual, in a 6-3 ruling. We’ll see soon enough.
• Moving on.
• Another big setback for Dumpy yesterday, when U.S. District Judge Jia M. Cobb blocked him from rapidly deporting undocumented immigrants detained away from the border without a court hearing.
• Cobb wrote that the administration’s new policy to broadly expand a process known as “expedited removal” — which had previously been used to deport migrants detained at or near the U.S.-Mexico border — doesn’t provide adequate due process rights to those detained inside the country.
• Correct.
• She wrote, “in defending this skimpy process, the Government makes a truly startling argument: that those who entered the country illegally are entitled to no process under the Fifth Amendment, but instead must accept whatever grace Congress affords them. Were that right, not only noncitizens, but everyone would be at risk.”
• Thank you! And guess what? EVERYONE IS AT RISK. If we don’t fight this shit with every tool at our disposal, Dumpy will be dictator of life, and his children will assume the throne when he dies.
• Assuming he lives more than another week or two. But I digress.
• Can we go three-for-three in court cases against the Dump Monster? I think we can!
• Yesterday, a federal appeals court blocked Dump’s plans to end protections for 600,000 people from Venezuela who have had permission to live and work in the United States, saying that plaintiffs are likely to win their claim that the Republican administration’s actions were unlawful.
• It was the three-judge panel of the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals who unanimously upheld a lower court ruling that maintained temporary protected status for Venezuelans while TPS holders challenge actions by Dump’s administration in court.
• They said that Homeland Security Secretary and puppy murderer Kristi Noem had no authority to vacate or set aside a prior extension of temporary protected status because the governing statute written by Congress does not permit it.
• Ha ha, you fucking loser fucks!
• In news from the Quiet Civil War desk…
• Yesterday, Illinois Gov. JB Pritzker said the Trump administration has not communicated with his state on a reported plan to send military forces to Chicago.
• JB doesn’t mince words.
• Asked about a possible military deployment to America's third-largest city, he said, ”It's clear that, in secret, they're planning this — well, it's an invasion with U.S. troops, if they, in fact, do that."
• That’s a civil war, kids. With military troops from states invading other states without permission, that’s an action of war. Please wake the fuck up.
• See, once they get you used to seeing military inside your state, and you accept this, you won’t be ready when they start aiming their rifles at you. So don’t just sleep on this shit.
• It’s being said that Dump’s invasion of Chicago will start as soon as this coming week, and that the Pentagon is drawing up plans to send thousands of National Guard members to the Midwest's largest metro area.
• Pritzker also offered his opinion — a correct one, I believe — that Dump’s gambit may be part of a plan to "stop the elections in 2026 or, frankly, take control of those elections.” He also called the idea "an attack on the American people."
• Keep in mind that unlike D.C., where Dump controls the D.C. National Guard outright, the governors of the 50 states control their own Guard forces except in certain special circumstances. 
• Let’s move on for now.
• As we’d predicted recently, more states are getting into the redistricting wars.
• Yesterday, Republican Gov. Mike Kehoe of Missouri said he is calling the state’s lawmakers into a special session to redraw the state’s U.S. House districts as part of the growing national gerrymandering battle between Republicans and Democrats.
• Missouri is now the third state to officially pursue an unusual mid-decade redistricting for partisan advantage. Republican-led Texas took up the task first but was quickly countered by Democratic-led California, where Gov. Gavin Newsom is asking voters to approve a map aimed at giving his party five more seats.
• A side note for my fellow Californians: that special election will be held on Tuesday November 4. As a registered voter. like me, you will get your ballot and info in the mail.
• Vote YES on Proposition 50.
• The measure currently has massive support, indicated by both voter polls and financial support.
• Netflix co-founder Reed Hastings just gave $2 million to help California redraw its House maps. Newsom has also raised at least $12 million from roughly 400,000 small donations so far.
• And Newsom contributed $2 million from his own campaign funds. Other top donors supporting the redistricting effort  include business and technology executives Bill Bloomfield, Paul Graham, John Pritzker, and Andrew Hauptman.
• Back to Missouri for a moment.
• Kehoe scheduled Missouri’s special session to begin September 3. He released a proposed new map that targets Democratic Rep. Emanuel Cleaver’s Kansas City-area district by stretching it eastward into rural Republican-leaning areas.
• But wait. He threw some extra fascism to this proposal.
• His agenda also includes a proposed constitutional amendment that would make it nearly impossible to approve citizen-initiated ballot measures, such as the state’s abortion-rights and marijuana legalization amendments adopted in recent years.
• That’s right. The Republicans are doing everything they can to remove your rights as citizens to vote for your own pathway in life. Instead, you have to just accept whatever morsels they throw your way.
• “Don’t Tread On Me” my ass. Republicans are weak pussy-ass bitches who want the government to control every aspect of their lives.
• In other — but not unrelated — news…
• Sen. Joni Ernst (R-IA) will reveal this coming week that she won't seek reelection in 2026. Ernst, who at 55 is younger than me but looks about 20 years older, has served in the U.S. Senate since 2015.
• Perhaps it’s just complete coincidence that this week in Iowa, Democrat Catelin Drey defeated her Republican opponent, Christopher Prosch, in a special election. Dump won the same 1st Senate district by 11 percentage points in November, just nine months ago.
• And Drey’s margin of victory was by 10 points, representing a 21-point (!) swing.
• So maybe Joni Ernst sees the writing on the wall.
• BLUE WAVE!
• In addition to Ernst, there are other Republicans leaving the Senate at the end of their term, including Thom Tills (R-NC), Tommy Tuberville (R-AL), and Mitch McConnell (R-KY).
• I doubt any Democratic Senators will replace them, but we’re living in unprecedented times and anything could happen. I have hope.
• Let’s move on.
• Yesterday, Charles Borges — the chief data officer at the Social Security Administration —resigned after filing a whistleblower complaint about Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) employees at the SSA. 
• Ready for some horrific shit?
• Borges said that the DOGE employees had uploaded a copy of the entire country's Social Security information to a "vulnerable cloud environment."
• So, assuming you’re an American reading this, that’s YOUR social security info. It’s everyone’s. All of them. Sitting on a cloud server, ripe for hacking.
• In June, Dump’s Supreme Court lifted a lower court's injunction and cleared the way to allow DOGE to access sensitive Social Security information. Two labor unions and an advocacy group had filed a complaint claiming that allowing the access would violate the Privacy Act and a federal law.
• Borges is a highly respected and experienced professional. He served as SSA's chief data officer since January. Before that, he worked at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, and served in data handling roles in the Naval Air Warfare Center Aircraft Division and the Naval Air Systems Command. 
• He wrote yesterday, "It is never wrong to be morally and ethically right with yourself."
• Amen. Try and live your life that way, everyone.
• A little good news forthcoming…
• We’d reported yesterday that Dumpy revoked U.S. Secret Service protection for former Vice President Kamala Harris.
• And again, to be clear: by law, VPs only get six months of protection when they leave office. President Biden had kindly extended that period to 18 months, which Dump then revoked as a typical childish act of revenge. Fine.
• But don’t worry about Kamala. California has got her back.
• She’ll get protection from the California Highway Patrol (cue “CHiPs” theme). California officials put in place a plan to provide Harris with constant dignitary-level protection.
• The decision came after Governor Gavin Newsom’s office and Los Angeles Mayor Karen Bass were in discussions Thursday evening on how best to address the situation.
• Harris resides in the western portion of Los Angeles, about a half hour straight up the coast from me, if you find that interesting.
• And now, The Weather: “So Much Better” by Dean Johnson
• Let’s do a chart.
• Every once in awhile, I like to use sources for chart info that’s beyond the data of Billboard magazine. This time, we’re heading back 43 years to August 30, 1982, and taking a look at the top singles from the U.S. Rock Radio Airplay chart.
• Me? I was just two weeks away from the start of high school. I was a little nervous, and not only for the expected reasons.
• Due to a zoning change, I was not going to the same high school as 95% of my middle school graduating class. So at first, I was like, “No one will know me there,” said in a forlorn and self-pitying voice.
• But then, after thinking it through a little, I was like, “No one will know me there!” in the way that I could be whoever I wanted to be, with no preconceptions other than those of the few kids who were in my same school zoning situation.
• It all worked out. Here’s the chart.
• 1. Everybody Wants You (Billy Squier). 2. Think I'm In Love (Eddie Money). 3. I Ran (A Flock of Seagulls). 4. Hold Me (Fleetwood Mac). 5. You've Got Another Thing Coming (Judas Priest). 6. Paperlate (Genesis). 7. Eye Of The Tiger (The Theme From Rocky III) (Survivor). 8. Abracadabra (The Steve Miller Band). 9. Burning Down One Side (Robert Plant). 10. Gypsy (Fleetwood Mac). 11. Still In The Game (Steve Winwood). 12. Somebody's Baby (Jackson Browne). 13. Chain Lightning (38 Special). 14. Party Town (Glenn Frye). 15. Should I Stay Or Should I Go? (The Clash). 16. Change (John Waite). 17. Wasted On The Way (Crosby, Stills and Nash). 18. Enough Is Enough (April Wine). 19. Stillness Of The Night (REO Speedwagon). 20. Pledge Pin (Robert Plant). 
• From the Sports Desk… a fascinating stat to watch as baseball’s regular season winds down.
• For just the third time in history, three or more MLB players have 45 or more home runs before the start of September.
• In 1998, it was Mark McGwire, Ken Griffey Jr., Sammy Sosa, and Greg Vaughn. In 2001, it was Barry Bonds, Sammy Sosa, and Luis Gonzalez.
• And here in 2025, it’s Cal Raleigh (50), Kyle Schwarber (49), and Shohei Ohtani (45). That’s exciting shit!
• Today in history… Titus ends the siege of Jerusalem after destroying Herod's Temple (70). Guru Ram Das becomes the Fourth Sikh Guru/Master (1574). HMS Pandora sinks after having run aground on the Great Barrier Reef (1791). Melbourne, Victoria, Australia is founded (1835). The city of Houston,TX is founded (1836). Germans defeat the Russians in the WWI Battle of Tannenberg (1914). The Queen Mary wins the Blue Riband with the fastest transatlantic crossing (1936). The Moscow–Washington hotline between the leaders of the U.S. and the Soviet Union goes into operation (1963). Thurgood Marshall is confirmed as the first African American Justice of the Supreme Court of the United States (1967). President Mohammad-Ali Rajai and Prime Minister Mohammad-Javad Bahonar of Iran are assassinated in a bombing (1981). Space Shuttle Discovery takes off on its maiden voyage (1984). The 11-day Ruby Ridge standoff ends with Randy Weaver surrendering to federal authorities (1992). The last remaining American troops leave Afghanistan, ending U.S. involvement in the war (2021).
• August 30 is the birthday of novelist Mary Shelley (1797), physicist Ernest Rutherford (1871), politician Huey Long (1893), actress Shirley Booth (1898), actor Fred McMurray (1908), MLB player Ted Williams (1918), singer-songwriter/guitarist Kitty Wells (1919), actor Bill Daily (1927), businessman/philanthropist Warren Buffett (1930), singer-songwriter/guitarist John Phillips (1935), race car driver/designer Bruce McLaren (1937), radio host John Peel (1939), illustrator Robert Crumb (1943), model/actress Peggy Lipton (1946), comedian Lewis Black (1948), NBA player Robert Parish (1953), singer-songwriter/bass player Dave Brockie (1963), singer-songwriter/guitarist Lars Frederiksen (1971), model/actress Cameron Diaz (1972), tennis player Andy Roddick (1982), and NFL player Drake Maye (2002).

It’s time to perhaps consider doing the things that I had possibly planned to do on this Saturday morning. Enjoy your day.