Random News: August 5, 2025

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s August 5, 2025, and it’s a Tuesday. It amazing how quickly after a vacation that you’re forced to go into real life mode; yesterday my engine went from a pleasant idle to a screaming fifth gear within minutes after starting my work day, and now I’m back in the race as usual. No worries; I’m just doing what I do, and that’s okay.

• Let’s jump into some news.
• Yesterday, Texas Democrats prevented their state’s House of Representatives from moving forward, at least for now, with a redrawn congressional map sought by Dumples the Unpopular Clown to shore up Republicans’ 2026 midterm prospects as his political standing falters.
• After dozens of Democrats left the state, the Republican-dominated House was unable to establish the quorum of lawmakers required to do business. Ha ha.
• Texas Gov. Greg Abbott has made threats about removing members of the opposition from their seats. Democrats have pointed out that Abbott is full of shit, claiming legal authority he does not have.
• The Republican-dominated House quickly issued civil arrest warrants for absent members and Abbott ordered state troopers to help find and arrest them, but Democrats who are not in Texas are beyond the jurisdiction of state authorities.
• Ha ha.
• See, Dump and his MAGA zombies didn’t think that any Democratic-led states would have the balls to do the same shenanigans, but lo, they have.
• New York Gov. Kathy Hochul appeared yesterday with Texas Democrats, and argued that their cause should be national.
• She said, “We’re not going to tolerate our democracy being stolen in a modern-day stagecoach heist by a bunch of law breaking cowboys. If Republicans are willing to rewrite rules to give themselves an advantage, then they’re leaving us with no choice: We must do the same. You have to fight fire with fire.”
• Preach, lady!
• Illinois Gov. JB Pritzker had welcomed Texas Democrats to Chicago on Sunday after having been in quiet talks with them for weeks. Pritzker and California Gov. Gavin Newsom held public events about the Texas fight before the quorum break.
• The MAGAs can sleep in the bed they make. Ultimately, they already know that nationally, Dump’s tariffs, massive price increases, and huge decrease in essential government services will be blamed on the party in power: the GOP.
• Moving on.
• Some breaking news regarding the ongoing Jeffrey Epstein coverup.
• This morning, the House Oversight Committee subpoenaed the Justice Department for files related to the late convicted sex offender, a major move that comes as many congressional Republicans call for more transparency around the case.
• As you’re all aware, demands for more information on Epstein has roiled Capitol Hill in recent weeks. The subpoena amounts to a show of defiance by some Republicans against Dumpy and House Speaker Mike Johnson, who has attempted to tamp down congressional efforts to push for the release of the so-called Epstein files.
• In related news, an event that happened while I was out of town was the transfer of convicted sex trafficker and Jeffrey Epstein associate Ghislaine Maxwell to a cushy minimum-security prison in Texas.
• This transfer happened right after some deal she made with Donnie Dump through his former personal attorney (and now Deputy Attorney General) Todd Blanche.
• Maxwell is serving a 20-year sentence for sex trafficking underage girls for Epstein, the financier and convicted pedophile, who was found dead in his prison cell in New York while awaiting trial in 2019.
• Her new prison — if you want to call it that — is commonly referred to as a ‘Club Fed’ due to its use for inmates convicted of “white-collar” crimes and minor offenses.
• Inmates at minimum-security institutions, also known as FPCs, enjoy a low guard-to-inmate ratio and minimal or no perimeter fencing. Maxwell could literally walk away from the facility at any time.
• Maxwell’s new place of incarceration — FPC Bryan, located 100 miles outside Houston, TX — has a sports field, gym, arts and crafts activities, a theater program, and a program that allows inmates to play with puppies.
• Even her fellow inmates there are disgusted by her presence.
• Julie Howell, 44, who is serving a one-year sentence for theft, stated, “This facility is supposed to house non-violent offenders. Human trafficking is a violent crime.”
• Agreed. Now what remains to be seen is how Maxwell will pay Dump back for the favor.
• Moving on.
• A new AP-NORC poll out yesterday shows that almost 90% of American adults say they're stressed about the cost of groceries as the price of food rises and items like poultry, ground beef, and eggs have seen the biggest cost jumps.
• 53% of Americans see grocery prices as a major source of stress. Another 33% see it as a minor source of stress.
• More people were concerned about grocery prices than any other financial concern brought up in the poll, but more than half of respondents also said they were at least somewhat stressed about their salaries, the cost of housing, the amount of money they have saved, their credit card debt, and the cost of health care.
• So basically everything all of us have to deal with.
• The price of food has risen 3% in the last 12 months — groceries have risen 2.4% with increases in every category, and restaurants got 3.8% more expensive. Also scary: the cost of food is rising faster than the overall inflation rate.
• The Dump economy is the cause of this burgeoning consumer crisis. My advice? Buckle up, because life in the USA is going to continue to get worse and worse under Dump and the GOP being in charge of Congress.
• And remember all this when you vote next time, assuming you ever get to vote again.
• Let’s move on.
• A note from the Immigration Desk…
• Dump’s administration is set to open up many more concentration camps in states throughout the country.
• DHS Secretary Kristi Noem says that Florida’s disgusting "Alligator Alcatraz" will serve as a model for state-run migrant detention centers. She hopes to launch similar “detention centers” in multiple airports and jails in the coming months.
• Potential sites are already under consideration in Arizona, Nebraska, and Louisiana. 
• Last month, Drumpy toured the facility, seeing rows of bunk beds lined up behind chain fences and encircled by razor wire. He said, "We're going to teach them how to run away from an alligator if they escape prison."
• Asked if the temporary facility would be a model of what's to come, Dump said he'd like to see similar operations in "many states."
• Look, I hate to say that I told you so… but I really did tell you so. When you support a fascist, racist dictator and then he behaves exactly as he said he would, the blame for whatever happens next falls on you.
• And we will remember that — the responsibility of the MAGA people who allowed this to happen. You don’t get to have a change of heart or just walk away. That deed is done.
• Let’s do some better news.
• Yesterday, U.S. District Judge Timothy L. Brooks ruled to block Arkansas’s new law regarding the Ten Commandments hung in classrooms in four school districts.
• Brooks ruled it could not be applied to some of the largest school districts in the state. However, dozens of others will still be required to hang the posters as the academic year begins.
• “Why would Arkansas pass an obviously unconstitutional law? Most likely because the State is part of a coordinated strategy among several states to inject Christian religious doctrine into public-school classrooms,” the judge said in the ruling.
• He’s right. The Arkansas law, similar to those challenged in Louisiana and Texas, says the Ten Commandments must be displayed in easily readable letters in every public school classroom. 
• Fucking assholes. If they want to live in a theocracy, they should move to one.
• Moving on.
• Some news from the Justice Desk…
• Yesterday, Judge Arun Subramanian denied bail for Sean "Diddy" Combs, who remains jailed ahead of his October sentencing for his sex-trafficking conviction.
• Puff Daddy had requested that he be released on a $50 million bond.
• Combs’ attorneys said he would have preferred to live to live in his Miami mansion — instead of the Metropolitan Detention Center in Brooklyn, NY — as he awaits sentencing. Imagine that.
• But the judge determined Combs has failed to "meet his burden by clear and convincing evidence" in demonstrating that he won't be a danger to the public if released.
• This is one reason why the bail system is so inherently unfair. Why would a wealthy and powerful person like Combs be able to buy his way out when the rest of us are forced to do our time?
• Let’s just move on.
• Today, Dumples the Moronic Clown will sign an executive order creating a task force to oversee the 2028 Summer Olympics in Los Angeles.
• And he’s putting himself in charge of it.
• This task force will allegedly work on security, transportation, and visa processing. I have any amount of money that says he’s going to fuck this up in the same way that everything else he touches dies.
• And in more ridiculous — and yet somehow unsurprising — news about the Dumpy World, yesterday Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) asked Dump to pardon former Republican Rep. George Santos, the scamming asshole who began his seven-year prison sentence last month.
• Greene says she sent a letter to the Department of Justice asking them to present a case to Dump for clemency consideration for Santos, who is serving time after being tried and convicted for wire fraud and aggravated identity theft charges.
• There’s one set of laws for us, and a whole other set for them. Again, remember that when you vote.
• And now, The Weather: “Mind Loaded” by Blood Orange (ft. Caroline Polachek, Lorde, and Mustafa)
• Let’s do a chart.
• It’s early August 1972. I am three. the only thing I can tell you about this time period is that in about four months, I’m going to start piano lessons. And that one aspect of my toddler life led to pretty much everything else I ever did.
• Here was the top of the Billboard 200 albums chart at the time.
• 1. Honky Chateau (Elton John). 2. School's Out (Alice Cooper). 3. Chicago V (Chicago). 4. A Song For You (Carpenters). 5. Simon And Garfunkel's Greatest Hits (Simon & Garfunkel). 6. Exile On Main St. (The Rolling Stones). 7. Big Bambu (Cheech & Chong). 8. Moods (Neil Diamond). 9. Lookin' Through The Windows (The Jackson 5). 10. Carlos Santana & Buddy Miles! Live! (Carlos Santana & Buddy Miles). 11. Still Bill (Bill Withers). 12. Trilogy (Emerson, Lake & Palmer). 13. Thick As A Brick (Jethro Tull). 14. Elvis As Recorded At Madison Square Garden (Elvis Presley). 15. The Osmonds "Live" (The Osmonds). 16. Roberta Flack & Donny Hathaway (Roberta Flack). 17. Carney (Leon Russell). 18. Procol Harum Live In Concert with the Edmonton Symphony Orchestra (Procol Harum). 19. Layla (Derek & The Dominos). 20. Amazing Grace (Aretha Franklin With James Cleveland & The Southern California Community Choir).
• From the Sports Desk… how about the current best pitchers in Major League Baseball, based on Earned Run Average?
• 1. Paul Skenes (PIT) - 2.02. 2. Tarik Skubal (DET) - 2.16. 3. Garrett Crochet (BOS) - 2.23. 4. Matthew Boyd (CHC) - 2.34. 5. Cristopher Sanchez (PHI) - 2.40. 6. Hunter Brown (HOU) - 2.47. 7. Yoshinobu Yamamoto (LAD) - 2.51. 8. Kris Bubic (KC) - 2.55. 9. Zack Wheeler (PHI) - 2.64. 10. Nick Pivetta (SD) - 2.73.
• In perhaps a more important stat, only three guys have 12 wins thus far: Max Fried (NYY), Freddy Peralta (MIL), and Garrett Crochet (BOS).
• Today in history… Guangwu claims the throne of China and restores the Han Dynasty (25). Henry I is crowned King of England (1100). Sir Humphrey Gilbert established the first English colony in North America in what is now St. John’s, NL (1583). The Mayflower departs England on its first attempt to go to North America; it fails (1620). Journalist John Peter Zenger is acquitted of seditious libel since what he published about the royal governor of New York was true (1735). The British Navy calls the electric telegraph a “totally unnecessary” invention when they could wave flags to communicate instead (1816). The US government levies the first income tax to pay for the Civil War (1861). Standard Oil Company — today known as ExxonMobil — is established in New Jersey (1882). Bertha Benz takes the first road trip in a car (1888). The first electric traffic light is installed in Cleveland, OH (1914). Harry Houdini spends 91 minutes underwater before escaping (1926). Nazis massacre 50,000 civilians in Wola, Poland (1944). American Bandstand debuts on ABC (1957). Nelson Mandela is jailed in South Africa and won’t be released until 1990 (1962). Marilyn Monroe is found dead in her home from an alleged drug overdose (1962). Richard Nixon is ordered by the Supreme Court to release the “smoking gun” tape and loses all political support (1974). Ronald Reagan fires 11,359 striking air traffic controllers (1981). 
• August 5 is the birthday of novelist Guy de Maupassant (1850), “elephant man” Joseph Merrick (1862), lawyer and judge Gertrude Rush (1880), actor John Huston (1906), astronaut Neil Armstrong (1930), record producer Joe Boyd (1942), actress Loni Anderson (1945), physicist Shirley Ann Jackson (1946), singer-songwriter/guitarist Rick Derringer (1947), guitarist/songwriter Pat Smear (1959), NBA player Patrick Ewing (1962), rapper Adam Yauch, aka MCA (1964), filmmaker James Gunn (1966), politician Marine Le Pen (1968), MLB player John Olerud (1968), singer-songwriter Yungblud (1997), and NBA player Anthony Edwards (2001).

Alright. I have a busy day ahead on every possible front. Those of you in Second Life can come see me tonight at 5PM SLT for my live music show at Hotel Chelsea. The rest of you can… I don’t know, do whatever it is you do. Enjoy your day.