Random News: May 24, 2022

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s May 24, 2022, and it’s a Tuesday. Here come things…

• I am soon headed to Anaheim, CA for a trade show. Coincidentally, yesterday the mayor of Anaheim, someone named Harry Sidhu for some reason, resigned suddenly, under FBI investigation of soliciting $1 million in “campaign donations” from the Angels baseball team in exchange for greasing the skids for a sale of their stadium. Nice guy.
• As mentioned recently, today is primary day in five states. Please, if you haven’t voted yet, do. In this world, there are no small races. Every single seat in the House and Senate will influence things like a woman’s right to autonomy over her own body, as well as many other issues that affect every one of us. Please, please vote.
• Today marks the third month of Russia’s invasion of Ukraine, which started February 24. It was said Ukraine would fold within 72 hours. Over 90 days later, they’re still hanging in against all odds despite being outnumbered and outgunned.
• Social media companies are taking a big shit in the stock market today. Snapchat (who even uses that?) dropped 40% this morning. Facebook/Instagram fell 10%. Twitter fell another 3%, making its value down 35% since Muskypoo’s buyout offer at $54.20/share. 
• Monkeypox.
• Folks on the East Coast should plan for another terrible hurricane season this summer, per the NOAA. The amount and severity of the storms is being driven by climate change, be it manmade or part of a natural cycle, or a combination of both. Either way, batten down your hatches, people.
• You’re going to be hearing a lot about “tours” given to people directly before the January 6 insurrection event. A couple of names to keep an eye on in that regard: reps Lauren Boebert and Barry Loudermilk.
• From the sports desk, the Celtics and Heat are tied up 2-2 in the NBA’s Eastern Conference finals. In the NHL, Colorado Avalanche center Nazem Kadri has been under race-based attacks and death threats (I love hockey but the sport and its fan base is racist as fuck overall), but scored a hat trick last night in a win over St. Louis. Kadri is Muslim.
• Today in history… 1607: the Jamestown colony was established by 105 settlers, making it the first permanent English colony in America. 1883: The Brooklyn bridge opens after 14 years of construction. 2019: Theresa May resigns for botching Brexit.
• May 24 is the birthday of Roman general Germanicus (15 BC), Queen Victoria (1819), actor Tommy Chong (1938), musician and poet Bob Dylan (1941), singer Patti LaBelle (1944), baseball pitcher Bartolo Colón (1973), and NBA player Tracy McGrady (1979).

Well, time to do stuff that I get paid to do. Yesterday, for example, I got paid to tell a member of the media whether or not spirits were summoned during the creation of a guitar. I’m 100% serious. That’s my job. Someone has to do it.