Random News: March 21, 2023

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s March 21, 2023, and it’s a Tuesday. By the time I finish writing the bullets, many things may have changed, so let’s get ‘em out while they’re still relevant…

• The Secret Service is coordinating security plans with the NYPD in the event that Donald Trump is indicted and arraigned in an open courtroom in Manhattan today.
• The two agencies had a call yesterday to discuss logistics, including court security and how Trump would potentially surrender for booking and processing.
• Little note to all you people who dream about Trump being handcuffed and shoved into a squad car: it doesn’t work that way. White collar criminal defendants are typically allowed to negotiate a surrender, meaning they arrange a day/time and come in on their own.
• I know you’re imagining an episode of “COPS” with him waddling away and getting tackled by six burly guys in uniform, but no. Wealthy people don’t get that treatment.
• I find it unlikely that Orange Man will actually be indicted/arrested today. That was something he dreamed up. But since he already riled up his base of fools…
• Apparently all NYPD officers, including plainclothes detectives, have been ordered to wear their full uniform today ahead of the possible indictment.
• Also, the Port Authority has also been reportedly warned that the possibility of car caravans that could disrupt rush hour traffic, including traffic in bridges and tunnels.
• Be safe over there, New Yorkers.
• Moving on…
• Yesterday, President Biden issued his first veto since taking office, rejecting a bill that would have reversed a Labor Department rule on environmental, social and governance (ESG) investing.
• “This bill would risk your retirement savings by making it illegal to consider risk factors MAGA House Republicans don’t like. Your plan manager should be able to protect your hard-earned savings — whether Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene likes it or not.” - Joe Biden
• For those of you who may be unclear on the process of legislation, Congress is unlikely to be able to override Biden’s veto, as it would require the support of two-thirds of both chambers.
• Which is what I told you after the November 2022 election.
• In other Biden news…
• Today the President will designate two new national monuments, putting nearly 514,000 acres off-limits to development as part of his pledge to protect 30 percent of America’s lands and waters by 2030.
• Biden will sign proclamations to protect Castner Range, a former military training and testing site in El Paso, and more than 500,000 acres around Avi Kwa Ame, a sacred tribal site in southern Nevada.
• Awesome. I like this. Go Joe.
• More than 1,000 schools serving more than 600,000 students will be closed today as support staff at the Los Angeles Unified School District (LAUSD) — the nation’s second-largest school district — begin a massive strike.
• The district’s teachers are not directly involved in the dispute, but United Teachers Los Angeles — which represents some 35,000 educators — has said that they will honor the strike and not cross the picket line.
• Got some news on some news…
• Fox News sought a restraining order against one of its own senior producers yesterday to prevent her from publicly disclosing information linked to the $1.6 billion defamation suit from Dominion Voting Systems regarding falsehoods it broadcast after the 2020 presidential election.
• Hours later, Abby Grossberg, the senior producer in charge of booking guests for star Tucker Carlson, sued the network for discrimination and retaliation. But it’s her allegations that Fox lawyers “coerced, intimidated, and misinformed” her as they prepared her to give testimony in the Dominion case that are the biggest issue for the network. 
• Get their asses.
• How about some Jan. 6 news?
• A Washington, D.C., jury yesterday found four associates of the far-right Oath Keepers militia group guilty of conspiracy for their role in the Jan. 6 attack on the U.S. Capitol.
• The six defendants in the current jury trial, Sandra Parker, Bennie Parker, Laura Steele, Connie Meggs, Michael Greene and William Isaacs, faced the lesser charge of conspiracy to obstruct an official proceeding along with a range of other felony charges.
• Isaacs, Meggs, Steele and Sandra Parker were found guilty as charged while Greene was acquitted of conspiracy to obstruct and prevent officers from carrying out their duties. Bennie Parker was found not guilty of obstructing the Electoral College certification while all six defendants were found guilty of trespassing.
• We will never stop until 100% of the people involved in the planning and execution of the failed coup attempt are caught and face the consequences of their actions. When you go up against the USA, we win.
• And you lose, losers.
• Joining the growing list of states enacting hateful and discriminatory laws against transgender people, Missouri’s Republican attorney general on Monday said he will limit access to gender-affirming care for minors, sidestepping the GOP-led Senate as it struggles to pass a law banning the practice for children completely.
• Fuck you.
• Here’s a reminder to myself to mention at some point that a Florida bill would ban girls from talking about their period. Fucking Florida. Jesus.
• And now, The Weather: “Mean” by Bleary Eyed
• It’s pouring rain here again this morning, as it always does in Southern California. Seriously, it just rains all… the fucking… time. It rains so much, I’m going to start a grunge band.
• Speaking of music, I can’t claim to be a huge Def Leppard fan in recent decades, but it’s really shitty that one-armed drummer Rick Allen was physically attacked by some punk-ass kid last week. 
• Allen was smoking a cigarette outside of the Four Seasons hotel in Fort Lauderdale when a young man ran out from behind a pillar where he had been hiding and attacked him. 
• That piece of shit, identified as 19-year-old Max Edward Hartley, slammed Rick’s head into the ground, then attacked a woman who had run out of the hotel to help Allen, battering her with his fists. When she tried to escape, he grabbed her by the hair and dragged her outside the hotel. Then he ran away, and was arrested at a nearby hotel where he was breaking car windows.
• Hartley is from Cleveland but was in Florida on spring break. He now faces two counts of battery, four counts of criminal mischief, and abusing a disabled adult for the attack on Allen. I imagine he’ll say he was somehow forced to use drugs and alcohol and couldn’t control himself, boo hoo.
• Side note: I really liked Pyromania when it came out in 1983. Great hard rock album in that highly-polished ‘80s sense, for real.
• Hideous news out of Colorado, where two teenage boys from Illinois died in a sledding accident. They were at Copper Mountain Ski Resort, riding tandem on a sled when they launched off a large snowbank at the bottom of the half pipe and came down hard on the hard ice, suffering blunt force trauma.
• You know, I skied in Colorado over spring break one year in high school (Steamboat Springs, to be specific). And I did many irresponsible things on that trip both on and off the slopes, and I can’t criticize the decisions of those kids because they might have been that same as mine at their age. I just happened to live.
• From the Sports Desk… for no reason, the winningest NBA coaches in history. 1. Gregg Popovich (1,363), 2. Don Nelson (1,335), 3. Lenny Wilkens (1,332), 4. Jerry Sloan (1,221), 5. Pat Riley (1,210), 6. George Karl (1,175), 7. Phil Jackson (1,155), 8. Larry Brown (1,098), 9. Doc Rivers (1,091), and 10. Rick Adelman (1,042).
• That top ten is also the list of all coaches with over 1,000 wins, coincidentally.
• Today in history… The Battle of Alexandria is fought between British and French forces near the ruins of Nicopolis near Alexandria in Egypt (1801). Otto von Bismarck is appointed as the first Chancellor of the German Empire (1871). The Butler Act prohibits the teaching of human evolution in Tennessee (1925). Shah of Iran Reza Shah Pahlavi formally asks the international community to call Persia by its native name, Iran (1935). The Los Angeles Rams sign Kenny Washington, making him the first African American player in professional American football since 1933 (1946). Alan Freed presents the Moondog Coronation Ball, the first rock and roll concert, in Cleveland, OH (1952). Alcatraz Federal Penitentiary closes (1963). Martin Luther King Jr. leads 3,200 people on the start of the third and finally successful civil rights march from Selma to Montgomery, AL (1965). The first Earth Day proclamation is issued by Joseph Alioto, Mayor of San Francisco (1970). San Diego Comic-Con, the largest pop and culture festival in the world, hosts its inaugural event (1970). U.S. President Jimmy Carter announces a United States boycott of the 1980 Summer Olympics in Moscow to protest the Soviet–Afghan War (1980). The social media site Twitter is founded (2006).
• March 21 is the birthday of composer Johann Sebastian Bach (1685), physicist Joseph Fourier (1768), Mexico president Benito Juárez (1806), composer Modest Mussorgsky (1839), actor Broncho Billy Anderson (1880), painter Hans Hofmann (1880), singer-songwriter Son House (1902), philanthropist John D. Rockefeller III (1906), scientist/inventor Walter Lincoln Hawkins (1911), singer/musician Rose Stone (1945), actor Timothy Dalton (1946), singer-songwriter Eddie Money (1949), singer-songwriter/keyboardist Roger Hodgson (1950), drummer Slim Jim Phantom (1961), actor Matthew Broderick (1962), actress Rosie O’Donnell (1962), actor/comedian Rhys Darby (1974), soccer player Ronaldinho (1980), and NFL player Adrian Peterson (1985).

Well, I’m posting this now before any other potential crazy shit happens. I mean, crazy shit always happens but I don’t want the craziest shit to happen before I hit the “post” button. That’s how news is; it’s gotta be new. Enjoy your day.