Random News: March 22, 2023

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s March 22, 2023, and it’s a Wednesday. There are layers and layers of things that happen, and much like an onion, you rarely see beyond the skin…

• While everyone was waiting to see if the former president was going to be indicted in New York, the Mar-a-Lago documents case ramped up in a massive way. At about 10pm local time, the DC Circuit Court — ostensibly the second highest court in the US behind the Supreme Court — set an unprecedented schedule requiring Trump counsel to submit filing by midnight THAT NIGHT, and ordered the DOJ to reply by 6am today.
• You can’t imagine how shocking this is. Normally the schedule for things like this takes weeks or months, not overnight. Experts are speculating that the urgency is because the court saw evidence of immediate national security threats.
• Federal prosecutors filed a more than 6,000-word response shortly before the 6am deadline this morning, leaving the matter in the appeals court's hands.
• Yikes! Jack Smith is coming, Donnie.
• Little side-note to everything. When you see the words “Soros-backed” or “Soros-funded”, that’s dog-whistle speak for “Jew”. Most people have no idea who George Soros is, but they know he represents Jewish support of liberal causes.
• Moving on…
• I promised yesterday that I would add some more details about the proposed Florida “Don’t talk about periods” law.
• Legislation moving in the Florida House would ban discussion of menstrual cycles and other human sexuality topics in elementary grades.
• The bill sponsored by Republican Rep. Stan McClain would restrict public school instruction on human sexuality, sexually transmitted diseases and related topics to grades 6 through 12.
• “So if little girls experience their menstrual cycle in 5th grade or 4th grade, will that prohibit conversations from them since they are in the grade lower than sixth grade?” asked state Rep. Ashley Gantt, who noted that girls as young as 10 can begin having periods.
• “It would,” McClain responded.
• The GOP-backed legislation cleared the House Education Quality Subcommittee on Wednesday by a 13-5 vote.
• It’s pretty mind-blowing that when you think Florida can’t possibly be worse than it already is, it keeps swirling down the toilet.
• I will give kudos to a Florida dude, though.
• Police said fast-acting security guards at the well-known Mons Venus adult entertainment club in Tampa very likely stopped a mass shooting on Sunday night. Security camera video shows a large man wearing a devil mask try to enter the club. Police said there were more than 200 people inside.
• As the man got to the front door, a member of the security team confronted him and grabbed his handgun. The security guard, Manny Resto, says he’s worked as a guard for 30 years and is an MMA fighter and professional wrestler.
• Resto grabbed the gun and then the two men fought until other members of the security team jumped in. Police say the suspect, Michael Rudman, 44, has a history of domestic violence and mental health issues.
• In other news for the Southeast…
• Georgia is the latest state to ban most medical treatments that help transgender kids affirm their gender identity. Senate Bill 140 now heads to Gov. Brian Kemp’s desk for his signature.
• The bill was approved by the Senate 31-21 on party lines, with Republicans in favor and Democrats opposed. The measure would prohibit providing hormone replacement therapy and gender-affirming surgery to minors. Doctors and health care providers who don’t comply could lose their licenses and potentially be exposed to criminal or civil liability.
• These will be shameful moments to look back on in American history.
• One bright spot of news regarding women’s rights to have autonomy of their own bodies happened yesterday when a divided Oklahoma Supreme Court overturned a portion of the state’s near total ban on abortion, ruling women have a right to abortion when pregnancy risks their health, not just in a medical emergency.
• It was a narrow 5-4 ruling. The lawsuit was filed by Planned Parenthood, Tulsa Women’s Reproductive Clinic and others challenging the state laws passed after the U.S. Supreme Court overturned the landmark Roe v. Wade decision that legalized abortion.
• Women should be able to get an abortion for any reason in every state, but until it’s codified in law, every state has its own take on controlling women. I am thankful to not live in a forced-birth state.
• And now, The Weather: “Flood Into” by Faderdaze
• I do love trees, but sometimes they can try and kill you. Four people were in critical condition and one person sustained moderate injuries due to fallen trees amid windy conditions in San Francisco yesterday afternoon.
• TikTok CEO Shou Zi Chew will tell lawmakers Thursday that banning the app in the U.S. would hurt American businesses and the country's economy.
• I think with all the anti-China sentiment in the USA lately, and the fact that the TikTok ban seems to have bi-partisan support, and despite the fact that other apps like the one you’re on right now are equally invasive to your privacy, TikTok doesn’t have good odds of remaining around much longer.
• I saw Dick Van Dyke trending and had an “oh no” moment, but the 97-year-old icon had just crashed his car into a gate in Malibu. He’s fine. Minor injuries.
• From the Sports Desk… RIP to the great Willis Reed. He passed away yesterday at age 80. Reed won two NBA championships during his legendary career with the New York Knicks. He played 10 seasons in the NBA from 1964 to 1974, was named to the All-NBA team five times, made seven All-Star teams, and won MVP in the 1969-70 season.
• Also in sports… huge congrats to Japan, who beat the USA 3-2 and won the World Baseball Classic. The final at-bat had a storybook ending with Shohei Ohtani striking out his Angels teammate (and fellow MVP) Mike Trout. Ohtani was subsequently named MVP of the World Baseball Classic.
• Today in history… Roman emperor Severus Alexander is murdered, marking the start of the Crisis of the Third Century (235). The Pilgrims of Plymouth Colony sign a peace treaty with Massasoit of the Wampanoags (1621). The Massachusetts Bay Colony outlaws the possession of cards, dice, and gaming tables (1631). The British Parliament passes the Stamp Act that introduces a tax to be levied directly on its American colonies (1765). The Slave Trade Act of 1794 bans the export of slaves from the United States, and prohibits American citizens from outfitting a ship for the purpose of importing slaves (1794). In North Carolina, William Woods Holden becomes the first governor of a U.S. state to be removed from office by impeachment (1871). The Stanley Cup ice hockey competition is held for the first time, in Montreal, Canada (1894). The first Masters Tournament is held at Augusta National Golf Club in Georgia (1934). Arthur Leonard Schawlow and Charles Hard Townes receive the first patent for a laser (1960). The Beatles release their debut album ‘Please Please Me’ (1963). In Eisenstadt v. Baird, the United States Supreme Court decides that unmarried persons have the right to possess contraceptives (1972). NASA's Space Shuttle Columbia is launched from the Kennedy Space Center on its third mission, STS-3 (1982). The Intel Corporation ships the first Pentium chips (80586), featuring a 60 MHz clock speed, 100+ MIPS, and a 64 bit data path (1993). Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi announces the country's largest ever self-imposed curfew, in an effort to fight the spread of COVID-19 (2020). Greek Prime Minister Kyriakos Mitsotakis announces a national lockdown and the country's first ever self-imposed curfew, in an effort to fight the spread of COVID-19 (2020).
• March 22 is the birthday of astronomer/mathematician Ulugh Beg (1394), Holy Roman emperor Maximilian I (1459), actor Chico Marx (1887), novelist Louis L’Amour (1908), actor Karl Malden (1912), talent agent Lew Wasserman (1913), mime Marcel Marceau (1923), composer Stephen Sondheim (1930), actor William Shatner (1931), drag queen Foo Foo Lammar (1937), International Olympic Committee member Dick Pound (1942), siner-songwriter/guitarist George Benson (1943), singer-songwriter Keith Relf (1943), journalist Wolf Blitzer (1948), composer Andrew Lloyd Webber (1948), sportscaster Bob Costas (1952), figure skater Elvis Stojko (1972), actress Reese Witherspoon (1976), NFL player J. J. Watt (1989), and MLB player Edwin Díaz (1994). 

I’m going to post this before some news items pops up to render all this shit meaningless. Enjoy your day.