Random News: May 10, 2023

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s May 10, 2023, and it’s a Wednesday. The birds are tweeting, the bees are buzzing, the sun is waving hello to you (which is horrifying to think about), so let’s see what’s happened recently…

• Hmmm. Where to start?
• How about this…
• Yesterday, a New York jury found former President Donald Trump liable for sexually abusing writer E. Jean Carroll in a Manhattan department store in the 1990s. The jury awarded her $5 million in damages for her battery and defamation claims.
• The jury deliberated for only about three hours. It awarded Carroll just over $2 million on the battery claim and just under $3 million on the defamation claims. The verdict, which was required to be unanimous, marks the first time a former president has been found civilly liable for sexual misconduct.
• Carroll said in a statement, “I filed this lawsuit against Donald Trump to clear my name and to get my life back. Today, the world finally knows the truth.”
• Trump also made a statement. "I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHO THIS WOMAN IS. THIS VERDICT IS A DISGRACE — A CONTINUATION OF THE GREATEST WITCH HUNT OF ALL TIME!"
• Whoa there, stable genius… don’t blow one of your few remaining gaskets or anything.
• Trump is expected to appeal.
• Want to know why many women don’t bother to come forward and report rape and sexual assault charges?
• Only 310 out of every 1,000 sexual assaults are reported to police. Only 50 lead to arrest. Only 28 cases lead to a felony conviction. Only 25 will be incarcerated. So 975 out of 1,000 rapists walk free.
• Mayor McRape is supposed to be on a CNN town hall tonight, taking questions from Republican voters. I’m not watching that shit but I am interested to see how he’ll respond in the worst ways possible.
• Let’s move on…
• This morning, the Justice Department unsealed federal charges against Rep. George Santos and the New York Republican is in custody. Oh, happy day!
• Santos, whose astonishing pattern of lies and fabrications stunned even hardened politicos, has been charged on a 13-count indictment, including seven counts of wire fraud, three counts of money laundering, one count of theft of public funds, and two counts of making materially false statements to the House of Representatives.
• He was taken into custody in Melville on Long Island. From there, he was taken to the courthouse in Central Islip. Santos is expected to appear later toady at federal court in New York’s Eastern District.
• I read the entire statement from the US Attorney’s Office. It’s just mind-blowing. This guy is going straight from Congress to years and years in prison. And trust me, Santos defrauded and stole from everyone… Republicans, Democrats, the US government, private businesses… it’s astonishing.
• Santos was spotted in the Capitol yesterday on his way in and out of House Speaker Kevin McCarthy’s office. The speaker said he did not know why Santos had been there, and that the congressman had not told him personally about the charges. Pffft.
• McCarthy said that he will look at the charges before determining if he thinks Santos should be removed from Congress.
• More on that later, which I’m looking forward to.
• Following up from a previous story, George Alvarez, 34, has been charged with eight counts of manslaughter and 10 counts of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon after plowing into a group of migrants at a shelter in Brownsville, TX. 
• A witness to the crash says the driver made anti-immigrant remarks before he was detained by members of the public. Police revealed that Mr Alvarez has a lengthy criminal history, including multiple assault charges.
• Fuck that guy.
• My respected yet very, very, very old Senator is finally back at work, thankfully.
• Sen. Dianne Feinstein, 89, returned to the Senate yesterday evening after a prolonged absence as she recovered from shingles.
• Feinstein last voted in mid-February, and several Democrats recently called on her to resign before her term is up. Her absence was severely noted in the Senate Judiciary Committee. Feinstein requested a temporary replacement on the committee while she recovered, but Senate Republicans blocked Majority Leader Chuck Schumer's effort to do so.
• You know Bryan Slaton, the Texas state Rep who got his teenage intern pass-out drunk and then had sex with her, and then resigned under threat of removal?
• Yesterday, the Texas House unanimously voted to expel him anyway. They voted 147-0 for expulsion, making Slaton, 45, the first member of the Texas Legislature to be removed from office since 1927.
• Might make it a bit harder to get re-elected, one can hope. Slaton is a married father who portrayed himself as a “family values” conservative.
• He’s a typical Christian Republican, really. Fuck that guy.
• Keeping you up on the assault on trans rights, in North Dakota, a bill that Gov. Doug Burgum (R) signed into law this week bans public schools from adopting policies requiring staff to use a trans student’s preferred pronouns. It took effect immediately.
• If I had a trans child and a teacher refused to use his/her/their preferred pronouns, that person would rue the day they fucked with the wrong child/parent combo.
• The ND governor also signed two other bills defining gender as the sex at birth and banning changes to sex on birth records in most cases. Those statutes will take effect in August.
• Fuck around and find out, North Dakota. There will be a price that residents and businesses in your state will pay for this blatant discrimination. I’ll enjoy that when it inevitably happens.
• And now, The Weather: “A Lens Turning” by Westerman
• Here’s a reminder that I may have said before, because it seems like something I would have said.
• When you travel — a hotel, a rental home, a cruise, whatever — take a look around and make sure you’re not being secretly recorded.
• The FBI’s San Juan Division is working to identify potential victims after a man was charged with video voyeurism and attempted possession of child exploitation material for allegedly installing a hidden camera in a public bathroom on a Royal Caribbean ship.
• Jeremy Froias boarded the Harmony of the Seas in Miami and installed a hidden wi-fi camera in a public bathroom on the ship’s top deck. A passenger noticed the hidden camera and reported it to Harmony’s crew. Security personnel found a Micro SD card with several hours’ worth of video files inside.
• Yikes.
• From the Sports Desk… NBA playoff action has been particularly exciting this year. Last night in the East, the 76ers took a 3-2 lead over the Celtics, winning 115-103 on the road. Al Horford going 0-7 on 3-point attempts didn’t help Boston. Embiid and Maxey combining for 66 did help the Sixers.
• In the West, the Nuggets beat the Suns 118-102, also taking a 3-2 lead in that series. Both of those could potentially go seven games.
• Fun Fact: NBA teams who are leading 3-1 are 254-13 (.953) in winning the playoff series. The Heat and the Lakers both have a 3-1 lead over their respective opponents going into tonight’s games.
• Today in history… A sunspot is observed by Han dynasty astronomers during the reign of Emperor Cheng of Han, one of the earliest dated sunspot observations in China (29 BC). Christopher Columbus visits the Cayman Islands and names them Las Tortugas after the numerous turtles there (1503). Jacques Cartier visits Newfoundland (1534). The Parliament of Great Britain passes the Tea Act, designed to save the British East India Company by reducing taxes on its tea and granting it the right to sell tea directly to North America (1773). Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette become King and Queen of France (1774). The National Gallery in London opens to the public (1824). A riot breaks out at the Astor Opera House in Manhattan, New York City over a dispute between actors Edwin Forrest and William Charles Macready, killing at least 22 and injuring over 120 (1849). The First transcontinental railroad, linking the eastern and western United States, is completed at Promontory Summit, Utah Territory with the golden spike (1869). Victoria Woodhull becomes the first woman nominated for President of the United States (1872). The Horch & Cir. Motorwagenwerke AG — eventually changing its name to Audi — is founded (1904). Mother's Day is observed for the first time in the United States, in Grafton, WV (1908). J. Edgar Hoover is appointed first Director of the United States' Federal Bureau of Investigation, and remains so until his death in 1972 (1924). In Germany, the Nazis stage massive public book burnings (1933). Winston Churchill is appointed Prime Minister of the United Kingdom following the resignation of Neville Chamberlain (1940). Marvel Comics publishes the first issue of The Incredible Hulk (1962). Sony introduces the Betamax videocassette recorder (1975). Nelson Mandela is inaugurated as South Africa's first Black president (1994). 
• May 10 is the birthday of actor/assassin John Wilkes Booth (1838), composer/conductor Max Steiner (1888), actor/singer/dancer Fred Astaire (1899), film producer David O. Selznick (1902), actress Nancy Walker (1922), physicist George E. Smith (1930), singer-songwriter Donovan (1946), singer-songwriter Graham Gouldman (1946), singer-songwriter Dave Mason (1946), drummer Sly Dunbar (1952), murderer Mark David Chapman (1955), bass player Sid Vicious (1957), singer-songwriter Bono (1960), astronaut/criminal Lisa Nowak (1963), drummer Dante J. Silva (1967), race car driver Hélio Castroneves (1975), and actor Kenan Thompson (1978).

Wow. That’s a lot of stuff. I know sometimes things can seem terrible, and in many ways they are. Mass shootings at record pace. White nationalism on the rise. Political factions intent on furthering fascist actions. All true. But there are always people who are stronger than they realize, and always willing to fight. You, and your vote, are extraordinarily powerful. Enjoy your day.