Sunday, March 31, 2024

Random News: March 31, 2024



DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.



Good morning. It’s March 31, 2024, and it’s a Sunday. I had not intended on getting up before the sun today, but various biological processes forced me out of bed early, and I decided to stay up and make coffee and write this shit for you. I am nice like that. Let’s see what’s going on.


  • It’s Easter, the Christian holiday commemorating the resurrection of Jesus from the dead, described in the New Testament as having occurred on the third day of his burial following his crucifixion by the Romans at Calvary in  30 AD.
  • I’ll bet you $5 you don’t know when Easter actually occurs, other than being on a Sunday.
  • Ready?
  • Easter happens on the first Sunday after the full moon that occurs on or soonest after March 21.
  • See? I told you. Send me $5.
  • The two most commonly used names for this Christian holiday were both stolen.
  • “Easter” is named after an Old English month called Ēostre, which is the modern April, and was celebrated by pagan people to honor a goddess of the same name.
  • In Latin and Greek, the Christian celebration was, and still is, called “Pascha”. That word originated from the Jewish festival known in English as Passover, commemorating the Jewish Exodus from slavery in Egypt.
  • Was Jesus an actual person? All signs point to yes. Was he executed via crucifixion by Romans for being a rabble-rouser? Yes, there seem to be legitimate historical records of this, though many of the actual details are fuzzy.
  • Did Jesus rise from the dead after three days? Wellllll… if you’re a Christian, then yes, because that’s the basis for your entire religion, and likely a tremendous influence on your everyday life.
  • I mean, the actual official logo for your religion is the cross, so that’s the big central hub of it.
  • If you are skeptical of supernatural events in general, and believe that dead people tend to stay dead, then those are your beliefs.
  • Quick side note: the concept of resurrection was already a thing in texts from Jewish people for over 300 years before Jesus was around.
  • There were varying theories. The Sadducees held that both soul and body perished at death; the Essenes believed that the soul was immortal but the flesh was not; and the Pharisees felt that the soul was immortal and that the body would be resurrected to house it.
  • Kinda spooky, man.
  • Christianity seems to me to be filled with contradictions. A high level of interest in things like zombies and ghosts and the paranormal is often considered to be anti-Christian in this era, but all aspects of Jesus’ resurrection fall into that realm, don’t they?
  • Modern Christians claim to detest crime and many give little sympathy to those who don’t obey laws, but Jesus himself was executed as a criminal. I’m trying to figure out how a Christian could support the death penalty as such.
  • I don’t think most Christians today would give much respect to Jesus, frankly. He was all about inclusivity and acceptance. He emphasized caring for the most vulnerable members of society, such as the poor, the hungry, the sick, and the imprisoned.
  • He confronted religious hypocrisy and social injustice. He embraced people from different backgrounds, races, and genders. Jesus would have stood up for LGBTQ+ causes, and would have supported immigrants under all circumstances.
  • As I’ve stated many times before… I’m sure I would have gotten along with Jesus well. He’s unquestionably the most woke dude in history.
  • And my much larger viewpoint of religion — any religion — in general is simple. If you get fulfillment from it, if it helps guide you in positive ways that you’d find difficult to achieve on your own, if you find a sense of community in common beliefs, or if your religion makes it easier for you to act in the good of other people and the world at large, then I 100% support your choice to believe.
  • And on the flip side, I’d hope that you’d be very accepting of the idea that the world actually has about 10,000 distinct religions. A good three quarters of people worship between four… Christianity (31%), Islam (24%), Hinduism (15%), and Buddhism (7%).
  • I’d hope you’d also be respectful that many people don’t adhere to any organized religion at all, and don’t want to join your club. Your religion is what you use to guide your own behavior and actions… not mine, or anyone else’s.
  • Anyway, happy Easter.
  • Moving on.
  • One interesting thing you might not know about the destruction of Baltimore’s Francis Scott Key Bridge is that hit actually goes back to something that happened eight years ago.
  • In 2016, the locks in the Panama Canal were expanded to make room for the bigger vessels increasingly favored by shipping companies. A ship the size of the Dali (and larger) was previously unable to make the route from Asia to the East Coast.
  • That’s when the Baltimore port installed four new cranes capable of handling gargantuan container ships and had its harbor dredged to the 50-foot depth needed to fit them.
  • Had the greed of the retailers who rely on cheap products from Asia been less prevalent, or the constant American desire to consume more and more things been dampened somehow, there never would have been a need for ships of that size and the inherent dangers they present.
  • Could the ships be guided more safely into these harbors with tug boats? Could all bridges and waterways be completely overhauled to better accommodate huge ships? Yes, 100% absolutely. But the cost of those actions would defeat the purpose of the giant ships in the first place.
  • So as is nearly always the case, if you ask a question that begins with “Why?”, then the answer is money.
  • Let’s move on.
  • Sorry to have to do Sunday Gunday on such a sacred day as Easter, but making yourself aware of the amount of gun violence in the USA is perhaps the first step in fixing this horrible problem that, longterm, keeps getting worse and worse.
  • Two shot dead, two more injured in a shooting in Bridgeport, CT. One woman dead, four others wounded in a shooting at a cafe on the West Side of Chicago, IL. One shot dead, another seriously injured in a shooting in The Bronx borough of New York City, NY. One shot dead, one wounded in a shooting in Montgomery, AL. One shot dead in a parking lot in Carthage, OH. One shot dead in a parking lot in Scottsboro, AL. One shot dead on a street in Duquesne, PA. One shot dead on a street in Poughkeepsie, NY. One shot dead on a street in Roswell, NM. One shot dead in a bar in North Charleston, SC. One shot dead in an apartment in Lumberton, NC. One shot dead in a domestic violence incident in the Mosby Woods area of Fairfax, VA. Seven children aged 12 to 17 wounded in a shooting in downtown Indianapolis, IN. Three shot at a party in an apartment complex in Houston, TX. Three shot in Lima, OH. Two seriously injured in shootings in Charlotte, NC. A 71-year-old shot dead in Vista, CA. An 11-year-old boy in critical condition after being shot in the head by a 13-year-old girl in St. Paul, MN. A 2-year-old shot in the Bronx borough of New York City, NY. A child accidentally shot in New Carlisle, OH. A teenager shot in Pueblo, CO. A woman shot in Omaha, NE. One shot on the East Side of Cleveland OH. One shot in Wilmington, DE. One shot in Baton Rouge, LA. One shot in Conway, AR. One shot in Memphis, TN. One shot in downtown Colorado Springs, CO.
  • There’s a lot more but I can’t do this all day.
  • And again, I’ll remind you: these are only for the past couple of days, and only the ones I saw in a quick scroll of news headlines.
  • If you don’t like it, fix it by electing political representatives who support common sense gun regulation. Thank you.
  • Moving on.
  • Yesterday, AT&T announced it is investigating a data breach involving the personal information of more than 70 million current and former customers leaked on the dark web.
  • 7.6 million current account holders and 65.4 million former account holders have been impacted. AT&T says the breach occurred about two weeks ago.
  • The information in the compromised data varies from person to person and could include social security numbers, full names, email and mailing addresses, phone numbers, and dates of birth, as well as AT&T account numbers and passcodes.
  • So that’s just fucking great.
  • Honestly, when we go extinct, I hope there’s a big book around that shows the myriad ways we fucked ourselves.
  • Moving on.
  • Las Vegas’ famed Tropicana, one of only two casino resorts on the Strip that still date back to the 1950s, closes forever on Tuesday. It is set to be demolished later this year to make way for a new Major League Baseball stadium that is expected to host the A's starting in 2028.
  • While it’s pretty old-school now (and frankly a bit grimy and rundown) compared to its newer neighbors, when the Tropicana opened on Las Vegas Boulevard in 1957, it was the most expensive resort that had ever been built in the city.
  • One more item of news.
  • You’ll see that unless something concrete happens, or something particularly egregious occurs, I’ll be spending less time discussing that Fat Smelly Prick who once called himself president.
  • Is Dumpy doing horrible things that only the worst people in history would consider doing? Yes, constantly.
  • He posted a picture of President Biden bound and shot in a car. He immediately started violated the gag order imposed on him by Judge Juan Merchan in his hush money trial, including posting pics and misinformation about the judge’s daughter.
  • But you can expect that shit all the time from a terrible human being. I don’t need to mention it constantly.
  • I’d prefer to focus on the astounding successes of the Biden administration over the past 3+ years. In every measurable aspect of public health, economy, employment, national security, and every other metric, the USA is better off under Biden.
  • Scholars are already recognizing Joe as one of the best Presidents the USA has ever had. We’ve been very fortunate to have his experienced leadership at the helm during a very rough time.
  • And now, The Weather: “In Spades” by Smelter
  • April showers bring May flowers, or so they say. The new month will kick off with a multi-day massive storm system over much of the country with the potential for tornadoes, large hail, flooding and even snow… and possible record warm temperatures.
  • Stay safe, people. We got the front edge of that storm here over the past couple of days, with typical raining and flooding.
  • From the Sports Desk… we have an Elite 8 in the NCAA Women’s tournament.
  • 1-seed South Carolina vs 3-seed Oregon State. 1-seed Iowa vs. 3-seed LSU. 1-seed Texas vs. 3-seed NC State. 1-seed USC vs. 3-seed UConn.
  • Today in history… Ferdinand Magellan and fifty of his men came ashore to present-day Limasawa to participate in the first Catholic mass in the Philippines (1521). The Long Parliament presents the Humble Petition and Advice offering Oliver Cromwell the British throne, which he eventually declines (1657). The Kingdom of Great Britain orders the port of Boston, Massachusetts closed pursuant to the Boston Port Act (1774). The Eiffel Tower is officially opened (1889). The Vienna Concert Society rioted during a performance of modernist music by Arnold Schoenberg, Alban Berg, Alexander von Zemlinsky, and Anton von Webern, causing a premature end to the concert due to violence (1913). Daylight saving time goes into effect in the United States for the first time (1918). The Motion Picture Production Code is instituted, imposing strict guidelines on the treatment of sex, crime, religion and violence in film, in the U.S., for the next thirty-eight years (1930). The Dominion of Newfoundland joins the Canadian Confederation and becomes the 10th Province of Canada (1949). Remington Rand delivers the first UNIVAC I computer to the United States Census Bureau (1951). The Soviet Union launches Luna 10 which later becomes the first space probe to enter orbit around the Moon (1966). Selena is murdered by her fan club president Yolanda Saldívar at a Days Inn in Corpus Christi, TX (1995). Netscape releases Mozilla source code under an open source license (1998). Start of the 2018 Armenian revolution (2018).
  • March 31 is the birthday of mathematician/philosopher René Descartes (1596), composer Joseph Haydn (1732), writer Mary Abigail Dodge (1833), businessman Alfred E. Hunt (1855), boxer Jack Johnson (1878), poet Octavio Paz (1914), labor union leader/activist Cesar Chavez (1927), NHL player Gordie Howe (1928), fashion designer Liz Claiborne (1929), actress Shirley Jones (1934), songwriter/producer Herb Alpert (1935), politician Barney Frank (1940), guitarist Hugh McCracken (1942), actor Christopher Walken (1943), guitarist/songwriter Mick Ralphs (1944), actor Gabe Kaplan (1945), US vice president Al Gore (1948), actress Rhea Perlman (1948), guitarist/songwriter Angus Young (1955), NBA player Steve Smith (1969), NHL player Pavel Bure (1971), actor Ewan McGregor (1971), and comedian/musician Kate Micucci (1980).


Okay then. I should take a shower and then make some deviled eggs. Enjoy your day.

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