Random News: September 17, 2025

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s September 17, 2025, and it’s a Wednesday. Feeling pretty good today so far. The sun is just starting to rise and my coffee tastes lovely.

• Let’s open today’s column with a quote from Russian writer and journalist Fyodor Dostoevsky.
• “People speak sometimes about the "bestial" cruelty of man, but that is terribly unjust and offensive to beasts, no animal could ever be so cruel as a man, so artfully, so artistically cruel.”
• It’s true. If this planet’s dominant species were highly evolved capybaras, it would be way better than what we balding apes have managed to screw up.
• And now the news.
• Yesterday, FBI Director Kash Patel told U.S. senators that there is "no credible information" in case files that Jeffrey Epstein trafficked young women to anyone other than himself.
• You heard it right. Despite the testimony and statements from all the girls — now women — that conflict with this claim, Patel says that only Epstein himself had sex with these dozens of children.
• The committee's questioning of Patel comes amid increased scrutiny of his leadership of the FBI and his handling of the investigation into the assassination of conservative activist Charlie Kirk last week.
• But senators also questioned Patel over the Epstein files..
• ”You've seen most of the files. Who if anyone did Epstein traffic these young women to, besides himself?" Sen John Kennedy (R-LA) asked Patel.
• Patel responded, "Himself. There is no credible information, none. If there were I would bring the case yesterday that he trafficked to other individuals. And the information we have, again, is limited."
• Kennedy followed up, "So the answer is no one?"
• The FBI director responded, "For the information that we have. In the case files."
• Can you believe this bullshit? And Dump literally ran for office on a platform that included government transparency, with specific promises to release the names of these disgusting men who had sex with the victims, some as young as 12-13.
• We will never just let this go, despite Dump insisting that the investigation is over.
• Moving on.
• Charges were announced yesterday against Tyler Robinson, the 22-year-old who’s accused of shooting and killing Charlie Kirk a week ago. 
• Utah County Attorney Jeff Gray charged Robinson with aggravated murder, felony discharge of a firearm, two counts of obstruction of justice, two counts of witness tampering, and committing a violent offense in the presence of a child.
• Robinson faces the death penalty.
• In related news that affects us all, yesterday Attorney General Pam Bondi walked back comments promising to target broadly defined “hate speech” following the killing of Kirk, after facing significant backlash from both conservative and liberal circles over her threat to curb free speech.
• What had Bondi said? 
• “There’s free speech and then there's hate speech. And there is no place — especially now, especially after what happened to Charlie — in our society. We will absolutely target you, go after you, if you are targeting anyone with hate speech.”
• In addition to being contrary to the First Amendment, the problem with Bondi’s bullshit is that the majority of what she’s threatening is applicable to the far-right.
• And now she’s saying that the U.S. government will “target you, go after you” for saying things they don’t like. Is that how you want the USA to operate?
• Dumpy was very much in support of Bondi’s new restrictions on freedom.
• Asked yesterday about the attorney general’s remarks, Dump returned to a suggestion he has previously floated — that members of the media should be targeted for their coverage of his administration — which he claimed was "hate."
• So if you say something bad about Charlie Kirk or Donnie Dump, it’s now “hate speech.”
• The attorney general threatened to prosecute Office Depot for allegedly refusing to print posters with photographs of Kirk for the slain influencer’s vigil.
• “Businesses cannot discriminate. If you want to go and print posters with Charlie's pictures on them for a vigil, you have to let them do that. We can prosecute you for that,” Bondi said.
• Wait a sec. Didn’t the actual fucking Supreme Court say that a bakery could refuse to make a cake for a same-sex wedding? And now the government is going to force businesses to do work or face prosecution?
• Fuck this shit. You can’t have it both ways, you disgusting pricks.
• Let’s move on.
• Some great news in the election world.
• Yesterday, Democrat Xp Lee won a special election for the seat previously held by the late Minnesota state Rep. Melissa Hortman, who was assassinated in June, and in the process restored a tie in the Minnesota House.
• Lee won the seat over Republican Ruth Bittner with 61% of the vote.
• Democrats have now outperformed previous results in 38 out of 40 state and federal legislative races in 2025 so far, with the latest polls showing that trend likely to continue in key races this November and beyond.
• The blue wave is coming. They’re going to try and cheat, they’re going to try and repress the vote… but we’re going to win and take back this country from the crazies.
• I spent over three hours last night on a livestream focused on California’s Proposition 50, which was really well done.
• Gov. Gavin Newsom’s message was very clear. “It is not an overstatement. This is Code Red. We all need to wake up to what’s going on.”
• If we don’t pass Prop 50 in November, it will be very difficult to defend against Dump’s orders to gerrymander congressional districts in many states.
• We already know about Texas and Missouri, but that’s just the start. Dump is trying the same thing in Indiana, Ohio, Florida, and other states.
• We should be united in one goal right now: Democratic control of both the House and Senate and the Senate, leaving Dump with no way to enact his horrific, cruel, and self-serving plans.
• We’ll be talking about this more in subsequent columns. For now, please encourage every California voter to choose YES on 50.
• Moving on.
• Dump is in the U.K. for some reason.
• No comment except to say that British Prime Minister Keir Starmer recently fired his ambassador in Washington, Peter Mandelson, in response to new revelations about his relationship with Jeffrey Epstein.
• The U.K. is also facing its own turmoil via right-wing, anti-immigration rhetoric. Guess who’s funding them? Oh, that would be Elon Musk, a guy determined to destroy the world at all costs.
• Let’s move on.
• Back in the USA, will there be a government shutdown? It’s looking more likely each passing day.
• Time is running out for Democrats and Republicans in Congress to strike a compromise, and neither side appears to be budging in a debate where partisan gridlock could lead to the closing of everything but essential government services.
• Funding expires in about two weeks at midnight on October 1, and lawmakers have a planned vacation for one of those weeks tied to the Jewish holidays.
• But for the first time since March, Democrats have a significant political advantage over Dump. Senate rules require Republicans to get at least some Democratic votes to pass a budget and avoid a shutdown.
• And Democrats are done fucking around. No more negotiating with terrorists. No backroom deals. Both Chuck Schumer and Hakeem Jeffries say a shutdown is inevitable this time around if Republicans don't offer some concessions, particularly around health care.
• They give us what we want or the country shuts down. We’re fucking d0one with this shit.
• Let’s move on to a story from the International Desk.
• Each September, Mexico's president appears before a crowd of tens of thousands in the nation's central square to perform the grito, the shout of independence commemorating the country's break from colonial rule.
• And this year, for the first time in 215 years, a woman led the masses in chants of "Long live Mexico!"
• Monday’s ceremony in Mexico City's main plaza was be a historic moment for the nation and for President Claudia Sheinbaum, who, in her first year as the country's first female leader, has maintained remarkably high marks despite a spate of domestic and international challenges.
• Sheinbaum boasts approval ratings above 70% and has notched multiple victories: winning passage of major constitutional reforms, overseeing unprecedented judicial elections, and deftly negotiating with Dump, making concessions on immigration and security to avert the worst of his threatened tariffs on Mexican goods.
• She’s also overseen a 25% drop in homicides. I’m very happy for Mexico to have such a qualified and effective leader.
• Ya know, we coulda had a great lady leading our country too.
• Let’s move on with a fun fact about this news column.
• I always feel free to offer opinions here, but over 90% of this Random News column is simply headlines and stories that I select to tell you, my loyal readers.
• Most actual content comes from neutral reporting services… AP, Reuters, and so on. I just put those stories into my own words as to not be purely plagiarizing the work of their fine journalists.
• When I call the president a bloated orange turd circling the toilet of life, that is merely a vividly descriptive metaphor for my feelings about him. He is obviously not an actual piece of feces. That’s just the vibe I get from him, as do many others.
• If I’d said that Dump is like a combination of Joseph Stalin and Bozo the Clown, that is a simile. It’s not a fact; it’s a mere point of comparison the help you understand that he’s both evil and an idiot.
• But when I say he is behaving, in every aspect, in the same way as many fascist dictators over the course of history, that’s not me being poetic. That’s a provable fact, and I can back that up with a multitude of accurate comparisons to previous fascists.
• Just thought I’d mention it.
• And now, The Weather: “Cobblestones” by Few Bits
• Let’s do a chart.
• It’s September 1966. I will not be born for two years and nine months. Where am I?
• You think the Beatles were big in 1966? Well yes, yes they were. But Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass had three fucking albums in the top 20 at the same time.
• Here’s the top of the Billboard 200 albums chart at that moment in history.
• 1. Revolver (The Beatles). 2. Doctor Zhivago (Soundtrack). 3. What Now My Love (Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass). 4. Somewhere My Love (Ray Conniff). 5. The Sound Of Music (Soundtrack). 6. Strangers In Night (Frank Sinatra). 7. Yesterday And Today (The Beatles). 8. Whipped Cream & Other Delights (Herb Alpert's Tijuana Brass). 9. If You Can Believe Your Eyes And Ears (The Mamas & The Papas). 10. The Best Of The Beach Boys (The Beach Boys). 11. Blonde On Blonde (Bob Dylan). 12. !!Going Places!! (Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass). 13. Aftermath (The Rolling Stones). 14. Wonderfulness (Bill Cosby). 15. Paradise, Hawaiian Style (Elvis Presley). 16. Gettin' Ready (The Temptations). 17. Lou Rawls Live (Lou Rawls). 18. Big Hits (High Tide And Green Grass) (The Rolling Stones). 19. The Best Of The Animals (The Animals). 20. Color Me Barbra (Barbra Streisand).
• From the Sports Desk… two weeks into the 2025-36 NFL season, and a handful of teams remain undefeated. That won’t last long.
• At the moment, they are the Bills, Bengals, Colts, Packers, Eagles, Chargers, Rams, Buccaneers, 49ers, and Cardinals.
• Today in history… Louis the Great's daughter, Mary, is crowned "king" of Hungary (1382). The Invasion of Canada in the Revolutionary War begins with the Siege of Fort St. Jean (1775). The Presidio of San Francisco is founded in New Spain (1776). The United States Constitution is signed in Philadelphia (1787). American abolitionist Harriet Tubman escapes from slavery (1849). Battle of Antietam, the bloodiest day in American military history (1862). The Wright Flyer flown by Orville Wright, with Lieutenant Thomas Selfridge as passenger, crashes, killing Selfridge, who becomes the first airplane fatality in history (1908). Manfred von Richthofen ("The Red Baron"), a flying ace of the German Luftstreitkräfte, wins his first aerial combat near Cambrai, France (1916). The National Football League is organized as the American Professional Football Association in Canton, Ohio (1920). The Space Shuttle Enterprise is unveiled by NASA (1976). The Camp David Accords are signed by Israel and Egypt (1978). Vanessa Williams becomes the first black Miss America (1983). Estonia, North Korea, South Korea, Latvia, Lithuania, the Marshall Islands and Micronesia join the United Nations (1991). The first version of the Linux kernel (0.01) is released to the Internet (1991). The New York Stock Exchange reopens for trading after the September 11 attacks, the longest closure since the Great Depression (2001). Occupy Wall Street movement begins in Zuccotti Park, New York City (2011). 
• September 16 is the birthday of SCOTUS chief justice John Rutledge (1739), gunman Billy the Kid (1859), poet William Carlos Williams (1883), businessman J. Willard Marriott (1900), SCOTUS chief justice Warren E. Burger (1907), singer-songwriter Hank Williams (1923), NFL player George Blanda (1927), actor Roddy McDowall (1928), racing driver Stirling Moss (1929), actress Anne Bancroft (1931), politician Chuck Grassley (1933), novelist Ken Kesey (1935), SCOTUS justice David Souter (1939), NBA player/coach Phil Jackson (1945), cartoonist Jeff MacNelly (1947), actor John Ritter (1948), singer-songwriter Fee Waybill (1950), TV host Cassandra Peterson (1951), comedian Rita Rudner (1953), director Baz Luhrmann (1962), singer-songwriter Keith Flint (1969), NBA player Rasheed Wallace (1974), NHL player Alexander Ovechkin (1985), model Pixie Geldof (1990), and NFL player Patrick Mahomes (1995).

I suppose that’s enough for now, and I’m out of time in any case. Enjoy your day.