Random News: September 25, 2025

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s September 25, 2025, and it’s a Thursday for some reason. I’m your newsman, here to tell you things so you can decide what to do about them.

• Each passing day in the Dumpy presidency is another step — some small, some giant — toward the descent of the USA into extreme fascism.
• Yesterday, the news got out that Dump’s Justice Department is preparing to ask a grand jury as soon as today to indict former FBI Director James Comey on allegations that he lied to Congress as prosecutors approach a legal deadline for bringing charges.
• So this is another example of a sitting leader trying to invent criminal charges to lock up his political enemies. It’s never happened in the USA before. Dumpy gave the directive to find any kind of criminal charges against Comey and others to his AG Pam Bondi last week.
• Dumpy has been pushing the story that Comey lied to lawmakers during his September 30, 2020, testimony related to the investigation into ties between Russia and Dump’s 2016 presidential campaign.
• The five-year statute of limitations for bringing a case would be next Tuesday, but prosecutors are expected to seek an indictment before a grand jury before then.
• Dump couldn’t get any real lawyers to file these drummed-up charges, so he fired the office’s top prosecutor — U.S. Attorney Erik Siebert — and replaced him with a White House aide who had served as one of his personal lawyers.
• A funny thing here…
• He gave the job to Lindsey Halligan, a White House aide who earlier represented Dump in the investigation into his retention of classified documents at his Mar-a-Lago golf motel in Florida.
• But Halligan has no federal criminal experience. She’s never prosecuted shit, and now she’s going to charge the former FBI director?
• Snort.
• If prosecutors are successful in obtaining an indictment — which is a huge “if” — Comey would become the first former senior government official to face prosecution in connection with the Dump/Russia election interference scandal.
• Multiple government reviews showing Moscow meddled on the Dump campaign’s behalf in 2016. I don’t know that raising this to the top of the public awareness is going to be a good thing for Dumpy, but then he’s not really capable of thinking ahead.
• Let’s move on.
• Yesterday, U.S. District Judge William Smith ruled that it’s unconstitutional to require states to cooperate on ICE actions to get funding for disasters, which is overseen by the FEMA.
• In May, a coalition of 20 state Democratic attorneys general filed a federal lawsuit claiming that the Dump administration is threatening to withhold billions of dollars of disaster-relief funds unless states agree to certain immigration enforcement actions.
• In his ruling granting a summary judgment to the plaintiffs and denying one for the federal government, Smith found that the “contested conditions are arbitrary and capricious” and that the actions are unconstitutional because they are “coercive, ambiguous, unrelated to the purpose of the federal grants.”
• He’s right. Dump isn’t just the worst president in American history; he’s also the least informed about our country and its laws.
• Let’s move on.
• Some follow-up news from yesterday morning’s shooting attack on an ICE facility in Dallas, TX.
• The gunman killed one detainee and critically wounded two others before fatally shooting himself. No ICE personnel was hurt.
• The shooter was identified as Joshua Jahn, 29. Dumpy described it as a politically motivated attack against immigration enforcement agents, even though no clear motive has been identified and no law enforcement officers were injured in the shooting.
• In a “things that make you go hmm” moment, FBI Director Kash Patel showed off a picture of an ammunition round marked with the phrase “ANTI-ICE.”
• That’s a weird way to put it, don’t you think? Wouldn’t an angry person be more likely to write “Fuck ICE” or the like? And why were the victims immigration detainees instead of ICE officers?
• Regardless, I’ll state once again: violence is the last refuge for the incompetent. Violence is for people who don’t have any other skills in resolving their problems. Violence is for the emotionally stunted.
• Violence is for the weak. I’m way too tough to be a violent person. My skills in getting what I want (or believe is right) are far more refined and effective. In any case, I condemn it in all forms and for all its targets.
• Moving on.
• Some breaking news from this morning, when U.S. fighter jets scrambled to identify and intercept four Russian warplanes flying near Alaska.
• It’s the third time in about a month and the ninth time this year NORAD has reported such an incident involving Russian aircraft flying near Alaska. Early this morning, NORAD said that it detected and tracked two Tu-95s and two Su-35s operating in the Alaskan Air Defense Identification Zone.
• Nine U.S. aircraft — an E-3 Sentry command and control aircraft, four F-16s and four KC-135 tankers — scrambled to positively identify and intercept the Russian jets.
• This is obviously Putin sending a message to his old pal Donnie. Russia doesn’t invade other countries’ airspace by accident.
• And in news that may or may not be related to the above, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth has ordered hundreds of the U.S. military’s generals and admirals to gather on short notice — and without a stated reason — at a Marine Corps base in Virginia next week, sowing confusion and alarm after the Dump administration’s firing of numerous senior leaders this year.
• The highly unusual directive was sent to virtually all of the military’s top commanders worldwide. The directive was issued earlier this week, as a government shutdown looms, and months after Hegseth’s team at the Pentagon announced plans to undertake a sweeping consolidation of top military commands.
• That’s all we know at this point. Obviously this isn’t being done for any happy or fun reasons. We’ll keep an eye on it, as we always do.
• Let’s move on.
• Last night, ABC announced that 6.26 million viewers tuned in for the return of Jimmy Kimmel on Tuesday despite the fact that the show was withheld by a swath of broadcast affiliates who are aligned with Dump’s shitting on the First Amendment.
• It was also Kimmel’s highest-rated regularly scheduled show in more than 10 years in the coveted 18- to 49-year-old demographic. The show’s monologue has now been viewed nearly 20 million times on YouTube.
• One of my favorite quotes form Jimmy that night was related to this. He said, “You almost have to feel sorry for him. He did his best to cancel me. Instead, he forced millions of people to watch the show. That backfired bigly. He might have to release the Epstein files to distract us from this now.”
• Ha ha!
• And yes, release the Epstein files, you pedo asshole.
• A quick side note.
• Do you know who Marshall McLuhan was? Born in 1911, McLuhan was a Canadian philosopher whose work is among the cornerstones of the study of media theory.
• Most famously, McLuhan coined the expression "the medium is the message,” an idea that proposes that a communication medium itself, not the messages it carries, should be the primary focus of study.
• Was this guy smart? He predicted the World Wide Web almost 30 years before it was invented. He also coined the term “global village.”
• One of his more ominous quotes is one that seems to be coming true each passing day. Over 50 years ago, McLuhan said, “World War 3 is a guerrilla information war with no division between military and civilian participation.”
• That’s what we’ve been in for at least a decade, and it’s continuing to get more and more apparent and active.
• In other news, a story from the Asshole Desk.
• Two Syracuse University students face hate crimes charges after they tossed a bag of pork into a Jewish fraternity house during a Rosh Hashanah celebration.
• It happened Tuesday evening at the Zeta Beta Tau fraternity house, where members had gathered to mark the Jewish New Year. One of the two men charged is accused of entering the home and tossing in a clear plastic bag of pork against an interior wall, splattering the contents there and on the floor.
• He then fled the home and got into a vehicle driven by another man. The two were soon captured and have been charged with burglary as a hate crime and criminal nuisance.
• Fuck them. I hope both of these antisemitic pieces of shit get kicked out of school and get an appropriate amount of time in prison even after their mommies and daddies spend their life savings trying to get them out of trouble.
• Okay, let’s move on.
• Donnie Dump can’t stop crying about his close brush with death… via escalator.
• He wept, ”First, the escalator going up to the Main Speaking Floor came to a screeching halt. It stopped on a dime. It's amazing that Melania and I didn't fall forward onto the sharp edges of these steel steps, face first. It was only that we were each holding the handrail tightly or, it would have been a disaster.”
• Some might not call that a disaster, but either way, I hope Dumpy is able to overcome this incredible traumatic event of that escalator turning into stairs.
• And a side note on Dumpy’s U.N. speech debacle: imagine having a 37% approval rating and going around lecturing other world leaders on how to run their countries.
• Snort.
• Moving on.
• I provide a lot of warnings in this column. Warnings of your rights being violated, warnings of attacks on democracy, warnings of severe weather events.
• But now, I’d like to warn you about squirrels that are attacking humans.
• Residents in the town of San Rafael, CA have reported a series of attacks from a vicious brown squirrel that sent at least two people to the emergency room.
• Joan Heblack was enjoying a peaceful walk through Lucas Valley in San Rafael when a rodent launched itself at her and proceeded to claw and bite her.
• She said, “It came out of nowhere. I didn't see him running up to me at all. It clamped onto my leg. The tail was flying up here. I was like, 'Get it off me, get off me!' I didn't want to touch it.”
• Her injuries were so severe, she went to the ER to seek treatment. These wild squirrels in the area may be the result of public feeding.
• Lisa Bloch from Marin Humane said, "When wildlife is fed by humans, they can lose their natural fear and act more emboldened. This is why we remind people that feeding wildlife can have negative consequences - for both people and the animals.”
• While no one wants their faces or other body parts chewed off by a rodent — squirrel or otherwise — there have been no reported cases of rabies transmission from squirrels to humans in the United States, as they do not spread rabies.
• And now, The Weather: “Lakeshore” by Worthitpurchase
• From the Sports Desk… let’s check and see where we’re at in the WNBA playoffs.
• In the semifinals, the 1-seed Minnesota Lynx are tied up with the 4-seed Phoenix Mercury at 1-1. Same goes for the 2-seed Las Vegas Aces who are battling the 6-seed Indiana Fever.
• Both series have their respective Game 3 tomorrow.
• In other Sports Desk news… tonight Week 4 of the NFL season begins with the Seahawks at the Cardinals. The odds are nearly even, with Seattle having a slight -1.5 favored status.
• And in yet other Sports Desk news, a quick refresher on how MLB playoffs work. Six teams from each league make the playoffs. The seeds are (1) the best league record, (2) the second best division winner, (3) the third-best division winner, (4) the best Wild Card followed by the second best (5) and third best (6).
• It starts with a best-of-three Wild Card series. The top two seeds in the American and National League are exempt — they play the eventual Wild Card winners in the Divisional Round. So if it started today…
• AL: 1-seed Blue Jays and 2-seed Mariners (bye). 6-seed Tigers vs. 3-seed Guardians. 5-seed Red Sox vs. 4-seed Yankees.
• A side note here: the Detroit Tigers had been on fire, near the top of the AL standings, until the team performed the two-fisted jackoff “Trump Dance” in New York on September 11. Since then? They went 1-11 and are barely making the playoffs. Hmm.
• NL: 1-seed Brewers and 2-seed Phillies (bye). 6-seed Mets vs. 3-seed Dodgers. 5-seed Padres vs. 4-seed Cubs.
• But with 4-5 games remaining and the race still tight, that will likely not be the final seeding or schedule. Playoffs start next Tuesday, September 30.
• Today in history… the last Roman emperor elected by the Senate is Marcus Claudius Tacitus (275). England and Scotland sign the Treaty of York, establishing the location of their common border (1237). Spanish explorer Vasco Núñez de Balboa reaches what would become known as the Pacific Ocean (1513). The United States Congress passes twelve constitutional amendments: the ten known as the Bill of Rights, the unratified Congressional Apportionment Amendment, and the Congressional Compensation Amendment (1789). The United States Congress establishes Sequoia National Park (1890). Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism is founded in New York City (1912). TAT-1, the first submarine transatlantic telephone cable system, is inaugurated (1956). Central High School in Little Rock, Arkansas, is integrated by the use of United States Army troops (1957). Dr. Frank Jobe performs first Tommy John surgery on baseball player Tommy John (1974). Bill Cosby is sentenced to three to ten years in prison for aggravated sexual assault (2018). 
• September 25 is the birthday of sailor/mutineer Fletcher Christian (1764), novelist William Faulkner (1897), artist Mark Rothko (1903), pianist/composer Dmitri Shostakovich (1906), MLB player/sportscaster Phil Rizzuto (1917), journalist Barbara Walters (1929), author/illustrator Shel Silverstein (1930), pianist/composer Glenn Gould (1932), keyboardist John Locke (1943), actor Michael Douglas (1944), model/actress Cheryl Tiegs (1947), actor/director Anson Williams (1949), actor Mark Hamill (1951), NBA player Bob McAdoo (1951), actor Christopher Reeve (1952), actor Michael Madsen (1957), actress Heather Locklear (1961), actress Aida Turturro (1962), NBA player Scottie Pippin (1965), rapper/actor Will Smith (1968), journalist Bill Simmons (1969), actor Hal Sparks (1969), actress Catherine Zeta-Jones (1969), NFL player/executive John Lynch (1971), NFL player Matt Hasselbeck (1975), rapper T.I. (1980), actor/rapper Donald Glover (1983), and NFL player Brandin Cooks (1993).

Well, that’s plenty to consider for now. Stay aware and stay strong. Enjoy your day.