Random News: May 11, 2025

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s May 11, 2025, and it’s a Sunday. I started the day as usual on a weekend in my bathrobe, but we’re having a short heatwave here in the LA area, and I found myself being uncomfortably warm by 7:30am. So now I’m in shorts and a Dr. Seuss “Green Eggs and Ham” t-shirt, sipping my coffee, and taking a look around the world to see what I can tell you that may be important in some way.

• Happy Mother's Day to all you mothers.
• Let’s get a little international news in first.
• Yesterday morning, while I was writing this news collection, Dumpy made a post that read, "After a long night of talks mediated by the United States, I am pleased to announce that India and Pakistan have agreed to a FULL AND IMMEDIATE CEASEFIRE. Congratulations to both Countries on using Common Sense and Great Intelligence.” 
• But a short while later, India's Ministry of Information and Broadcasting said that Dumpy and the USA had nothing to do with the ceasefire.
• "Stoppage of firing and military action between India and Pakistan was worked out directly between the two countries. No decision to hold talks on any other issue at any other place.”
• A few hours later? The ceasefire was toast.
• Indian Foreign Secretary Vikram Misri said late yesterday that "there had been repeated violations of the understanding arrived between the two countries" on ceasing fire and accused Pakistan of breaching the agreement.
• So much for statesman Dump.
• And now I want to do a deeper dive into the concept of habeas corpus, some words you’ve probably been seeing a lot lately but might need a refresher on what it is and why it’s very, very important.
• Habeas corpus is a legal principle that allows people who believe they are being unlawfully detained or imprisoned to petition for their release in court.
• It’s a concept that goes far beyond immigration and American law, and existed long before America was a thing.
• It stems from the Assize of Clarendon of 1166, a re-issuance of rights during the reign of Henry II of England in the 12th century.
• The original charter reads, “No Freeman shall be taken or imprisoned, or be disseized of his Freehold, or Liberties, or free Customs, or be outlawed, or exiled, or any other wise destroyed; nor will We not pass upon him, nor condemn him, but by lawful judgment of his Peers, or by the Law of the land.”
• The concept of habeas corpus predates the Magna Carta of 1215, and the Magna Carta is the document of rights that was the prime influence on our U.S. Constitution.
• So it’s important. Back to the present.
• Immigrants and rights groups have filed habeas petitions in recent months as Dump has tried to bypass the laws of our land to speed up deportations as part of his immigration agenda.
• And recently, the Dump administrations have made public comments about suspending habeas corpus… and as I’ve told you many times, when they say they’re going to do something, believe them.
• On Friday, as we mentioned yesterday, White House deputy chief of staff and Nosferatu-looking motherfucker Stephen Miller said the administration was “actively looking at” suspending habeas corpus.
• What would that look like? Well, throw out everything you know about your rights versus the government. They would be able to detain you with no evidence of wrongdoing, and there would be no recourse.
• There would be no reason why these actions would be limited to non-citizens. Once habeas corpus is suspended, everyone loses the fundamental rights that helped define the USA.
• The big question: can Dump suspend this right?
• The Constitution allows habeas corpus to be suspended only when “in Cases of Rebellion or Invasion the public Safety may require it.”
• It’s been suspended just four times in American history: during the Civil War; shortly thereafter in South Carolina overrun by the Ku Klux Klan; in the Philippines during a 1905 insurrection; and in Hawaii after the bombing of Pearl Harbor.
• And not since. Not during any other part of WWII, the Vietnam War, 9/11, or otherwise.
• So this would be — among the myriad of steps Dump has taken to turn the USA into a full-fledged fascist dictatorship — the final straw.
• Imprisoned indefinitely, without evidence, and not given a trial? Does that sound like America to you? It’s what Dump and his team wants, and as I said, it’s coming soon.
• If habeas corpus is suspended, drastic steps might need to happen to ensure our continued freedom, and indeed the continuation of democracy and the USA itself.
• Let’s move on… but still staying on the topic of our rights. It’s too important to brush aside.
• You may have seen the dramatic video from April when Guatemalan Juan Francisco Méndez was violently arrested by ICE while driving along with his wife. Agents smashed in a window to his car to reach him while he waited for his attorney to arrive.
• This week, Méndez finally got his day in court. And when the government had their turn to provide a prosecution, they…had nothing.
• Nothing at all. In fact, DHS attorneys not only failed to present a charging document; they didn’t even have a single word to say.
• Méndez’s lawyer Ondine Galvez Sniffin was astounded. "He could have said, 'Your honor, we'll be filing charges within the hour.' Could have asked for a second call. Could have said they reserve the right to appeal. Absolute silence. Nothing.”
• Judge Donald Ostrom ruled that the Department of Homeland Security had failed to prosecute the case and dismissed all charges against Méndez immediately.
• This is why we have due process. This is why we have habeas corpus.
• See what I’m saying here? The government — local, state, federal, anything — cannot just throw you in jail or even “detain” you without cause.
• If they could, this would no longer be the USA. Get it now?
• Okay, let’s move on.
• In a story that seems to not make sense but actually does — as I’ll opine shortly — yesterday, Dumpy fired the head of the U.S. Copyright Office, Shira Perlmutter.
• She was fired after her office issued part three of a lengthy report about artificial intelligence and expressed some concerns and questions about the usage of copyrighted materials by AI technology.
• The U.S. Copyright Office is a department of the Library of Congress. It is tasked with registering copyright claims, recording copyright ownership information, and administering copyright law, among other things. 
• Important note: federal law provides that the Register of Copyrights be appointed by and supervised by the Librarian of Congress, which is a position that requires presidential nomination and Senate confirmation.
• But the previous Librarian of Congress, Carla Hayden, was fired by Dump on Thursday with no reason provided in a two sentence email.
• So here’s what’s going on: Dumpy has big business deals — PERSONAL business deals — involving AI. 
• Immediately after taking office, Dump announced a joint venture involving OpenAI, Softbank, and Oracle that will invest up to $500 billion in private sector money to build artificial intelligence infrastructure.
• So Dump is, in his usual fashion, taking ham-handed steps to put people in those roles who will ignore laws and benefit him personally.
• Because he’s greedy and evil… but also dumb. We’re very lucky he’s as stupid as he is. A smart evil person would be far worse.
• Moving on.
• Hats off to a group of Quakers who are marching more than 300 miles from New York City to Washington, D.C. to demonstrate against Dump’s horrific treatment of immigrants.
• The march extends a long tradition of Quaker activism. Historically, Quakers have been involved in peaceful protests to end wars and slavery, and support women’s voting rights in line with their commitment to justice and peace.
• They sued the federal government earlier this year over immigration agents’ ability to make arrests at houses of worship.
• Their goal is to walk south from the Flushing Quaker Meeting House — across New York, New Jersey, Maryland, and Pennsylvania — to the U.S. Capitol to deliver a copy of the “Flushing Remonstrance” — a 17th century document that called for religious freedom and opposed a ban on Quaker worship.
• Let’s hope Dump doesn’t attack these deeply religious people for acting on their conscience, or have them rounded up as an alleged threat.
• When you feel like it’s too much of an inconvenience to drive a few miles and join a local protest or rally event, think of these people.
• You can do your part too. I believe in you.
• Let’s move on.
• In what may be the most valuable gift ever extended to the United States from a foreign government, Donnie Dump is accepting a super luxury Boeing 747-8 jumbo jet from the royal family of Qatar.
• Allow me to clarify something here.
• Not only is the plane going to be used as the new Air Force One; he personally gets to keep it after he leaves office.
• This gets more laughable: any costs relating to its transfer to Dump’s personal use will be paid for by the U.S. Air Force.
• That means it will be paid for by you, taxpayer.
• The gift is expected to be publicly announced next week, when Dump visits Qatar on the first foreign trip of his second term.
• The plane is fucking disgusting. Dump toured it recently. It’s so opulently configured with gold and tacky shit splashed everywhere that it is known as a “flying palace.”
• Wait. Is that kind of thing even legal in any way? Accepting an incredibly valuable personal gift from a foreign power?
• Lawyers for the White House counsel's office and the Department of Justice drafted an analysis for Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, astonishingly concluding that is legal for the Department of Defense to accept the aircraft as a gift and later turn it over to Dump.
• I’m serious. They actually are going to say that.
• Now might be a good time to remind you of something called the emoluments clause of our Constitution.
• Article I, Section 9, Clause 8 of the United States Constitution says, “No Title of Nobility shall be granted by the United States: And no Person holding any Office of Profit or Trust under them, shall, without the Consent of the Congress, accept of any present, Emolument, Office, or Title, of any kind whatever, from any King, Prince, or foreign State.”
• So what the fuck?
• Well, the White House and DOJ concluded that because the gift is not conditioned on any official act (surrrrre Jan), it does not constitute bribery.
• And Pam Bondi’s legal analysis also says it does not run afoul of the Constitution because the plane is not being given to an individual.
• You tell me if you feel good about this. Seriously. Tell me how this is okay with you, MAGA man or woman. I will fucking wait here.
• Let’s move on.
• The chances of dying from getting hit by a piece of Soviet-era junk falling from space is infinitesimally low… but not zero.
• But no lives were taken yesterday when a half-ton spacecraft made the fiery descent from orbit. The Russians indicated Kosmos 482 came down over the Indian Ocean, but some experts were not so sure of the precise location.
• Regardless, like 85% of Earth is either water or barren land. You’re not likely to get killed by a satellite, meteorite, or rocket in your suburb.
• This particular craft was launched in 1972 by the Soviet Union, and was part of a series of missions bound for Venus. But this one never made it out of orbit around Earth, stranded there for 53 years by a rocket malfunction.
• And now. Not.
• And now, The Weather: “Aerial Troubles” by Stereolab
• From the Sports Desk… the playoffs keep rolling along. I will note that in both basketball and hockey, there have been an unexpected number of super tight games and upsets. That always makes it fun (especially when your teams got knocked out in the first round).
• In the NBA: the Celtics, continuing the road-win trend of this series, beat the Knicks 115-93, with the series now 2-1 in Boston’s favor. The Timberwolves beat the Warriors 102-97, and now have a 2-1 lead in the series… and the way they’re playing, I wouldn’t be shocked to see Minnesota in the Western Conference finals.
• In the NHL: the Hurricanes blanked the Capitals 4-0, taking a 2-1 lead in the series. The Golden Knights beat the Oilers in a close one, winning 4-3, but with Edmonton still having a 2-1 lead in the series.
• Today in history… Constantine the Great dedicates the much-expanded and rebuilt city of Byzantium, changing its name to New Rome (330). In the first coronation ceremony ever held for an English monarch, Edgar the Peaceful is crowned King of England, having ruled since 959 (973). Matilda of Flanders is crowned Queen of England (1068). Louis IX of France and James I of Aragon sign the Treaty of Corbeil (1258). Prime Minister Spencer Perceval is assassinated by John Bellingham in the lobby of the British House of Commons (1812). Four thousand Pullman Palace Car Company workers go on a wildcat strike (1894). Deep Blue, a chess-playing supercomputer, defeats Garry Kasparov in the last game of the rematch, becoming the first computer to beat a world-champion chess player in a classic match format (1997). 
• May 11 is the birthday of organist Johann Gottfried Bernhard Bach (1715), US vice president Charles W. Fairbanks (1852), aviator Harriet Quimby (1875), pianist/composer Irving Berlin (1888), artist Salvador Dalí (1904), actor Phil Silvers (1911), physicist Richard Feynman (1918), computer scientist Edsger W. Dijkstra (1930), religious leader Louis Farrakhan (1933), singer-songwriter Eric Burdon (1941), drummer Butch Trucks (1947), actor Tim Blake Nelson (1964), NFL player Matt Leinart (1983), NHL player Brad Marchand (1988), NFL player Cam Newton (1989), and singer Sabrina Carpenter (1999).

Okay, we’re good. I hope you’re getting primed up and ready to defend your rights. You’re going to need to be brave and strong when the time comes. Again… I believe in you. Enjoy your day.