Random News: May 16, 2025

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s May 16, 2025, and if you can believe it, it’s a Friday once again! I'm Zak, and I am good at grabbing a bunch of info and putting it together in a way that people can easily understand. That, and playing guitar, and making sweet, sweet love are the only things I’m truly good at.

• Let’s do the news.
• Yesterday, it seemed that the Supreme Court was intent on keeping a block on Dump’s restrictions on birthright citizenship. But at the same time, they also seemed to be trying to justify Dump’s plan to scale back nationwide court orders.
• A majority of the court expressed concerns about would happen if Dump was allowed, even temporarily, to deny citizenship to children born to people who are in the United States illegally.
• The justices are also considering Dump’s evil plan to end humanitarian parole for more than 500,000 people from Cuba, Haiti, Nicaragua, and Venezuela, and to strip other temporary legal protections from another 350,000 Venezuelans.
• As you may recall, Dump signed an executive order on the first day of his second term that would deny citizenship to children who are born to people who are in the country illegally or temporarily.
• But that order is in direct conflict with a Supreme Court decision from 1898 that held that the Citizenship Clause of the 14th Amendment made citizens of all children born on U.S.
• Even conservative justices who might be open to limiting nationwide injunctions also wanted to know the practical effects of such a decision.
• Brett Kavanaugh peppered the Dump lawyers with a series of questions about how the federal government might enforce his order.
• “What do hospitals do with a newborn? What do states do with a newborn?” he asked.
• Good question.
• Sonia Sotomayor was among several justices who raised the confusing patchwork of rules that would result if the court orders were narrowed and new restrictions on citizenship could temporarily take effect in more than half the country.
• She said that some children might be stateless because they’d be denied citizenship in the U.S. as well as the countries their parents fled to avoid persecution.
• A decision is expected by the end of June. Keep your fingers crossed.
• Moving on.
• Yesterday, Newark, NJ Mayor Ras Baraka appeared in federal court following his arrest outside an Immigration and Customs Enforcement facility last week. 
• As we reported, Baraka was there along with members of the Congress who have legal oversight of the detention facility where people are locked up with no trial in questionable conditions.
• A group of demonstrators rallied in support of the mayor outside the courthouse, and the crowd shouted at federal prosecutors as they entered the building. 
• After the hearing, he said, ”We believe I was targeted in this. I was the only person arrested, the only person identified, the only person put in a cell. This is wrong, it is unjust, it is undemocratic, it is unpatriotic, it is unAmerican."
• I agree.
• Let’s move to the International Desk to talk about Dumpy’s trip tot he Middle East.
• Yesterday he said — and I’m not making this up — that the United States and Iran have "sort of" agreed to terms on a nuclear deal.
• And here’s what he said/
• ”Iran has sort of agreed to the terms: They're not going to make, I call it, in a friendly way, nuclear dust. We’re not going to be making any nuclear dust in Iran."
• Ladies and gentlemen, Dumpy the Science Clown!
• Here’s what an actual person with a brain clarified: Tehran stands ready to get rid of its stockpiles of highly enriched uranium that can be weaponized. In return, Iran wants an immediate lifting of all economic sanctions.
• We’ll see how that goes. I think it mostly depends on how many millions they have to Dump. That’s how things are now kids; U.S. policy is based only on the size of the bribe to Dumpy.
• Let’s keep moving on.
• Remember when Elon Musk was going to pay all those people in swing states to sign a loyalty petition for Dump during the 2024 campaign?
• Yeah, he never paid them jack shit.
• A second class-action lawsuit has been filed against Musk’s America PAC alleging that the group hasn’t paid voters what they were promised. 
• Three plaintiffs from Pennsylvania, Nevada, and Georgia filed the lawsuit last week on behalf of anyone who is in the same situation, accusing the super PAC of not paying them in full for their signatures or for referring other voters to sign.
• Musk said he’d pay them $47 for their signature and each person they refer before raising the amount to $100. The offer was just for those living in battleground states during the presidential election. 
• One plaintiff, Steven Reid, worked as a canvasser for America PAC in Michigan and Georgia and referred many voters to sign but hasn’t received the reward despite multiple attempts to collect.
• Bet he feels like a sucker.
• This is the second lawsuit against America PAC over alleged nonpayment regarding the petition, after a man from Pennsylvania anonymously filed a complaint last month making similar allegations. That man alleged that Musk and the group owe him $20,000 for gathering signatures. 
• As you probably recall, Musk also separately offered in the final weeks of the election season to give away $1 million per day to someone who signed the petition, raising some legal questions as the signers were required to be registered to vote.
• And another class action lawsuit filed in November alleged that was a fraud as it was predetermined who would win.
• Hahahahaha. You poor fucking bastards who believe in Dump and Musk will get screwed every single time.
• Moving on.
• If you’re earning less than you need to live, you’re not alone.
• In fact, you’re now in the majority.
• For 60% of U.S. households, a "minimal quality of life" is out of reach, per a new analysis from the Ludwig Institute for Shared Economic Prosperity (LISEP).
• This looks beyond whether people can afford daily necessities like food and shelter to consider whether they have the means to pay for things like the technology tools necessary for work, higher education, and health and child care costs.
• The report also notes that the nation's official unemployment rate of 4.2% greatly understates the level of economic distress around the U.S.
• Factoring in workers who are stuck in poverty-wage jobs and people who are unable to find full-time employment, the U.S. jobless rate now tops 24%. These people are "functionally unemployed."
• That seems accurate to me.
• In other news…
• The Department of Homeland Security and Secret Service are investigating a social media post by former FBI Director James Comey that they interpreted as calling for the assassination of Dumpy.
• Oh my! What did the post say?
• In a now-deleted post on Instagram, Comey shared a photo of what he described as a shell formation on a beach that formed the numbers "8647."
• Hahahahahahahahahah Jeeeeeeesus.
• Let’s be clear here: the Merriam-Webster dictionary defines "eighty-six" as a term that informally means "to get rid of.” Not to murder.
• It’s a very old term used as shorthand in restaurants. “Denver omelette, 86 the onion,” and so on.
• And how did Kristi Noem interpret this innocuous image?
• ”Disgraced former FBI Director James Comey just called for the assassination of @POTUS Trump. DHS and Secret Service is investigating this threat and will respond appropriately."
• I also want to get rid of Dump, while having no plans to cause his demise. Here, I’ll do it too: 8647. By all means, investigate my ass.
• Moving on to a story that will probably make you feel ill, if you have an ounce of humanity.
• A pregnant woman in Georgia who was declared brain dead after a medical emergency has been on life support for three months to let the fetus grow enough to be delivered.
• This is against the will of her family, who says Atlanta's Northside Hospital told them it was required under the state's strict anti-abortion law.
• Fucking disgusting. Using a dead human human body as an incubator? What the actual fuck? That is horror movie stuff.
• Georgia's so-called "heartbeat law" is among the restrictive abortion statutes that have been put in place in many conservative states since the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade three years ago.
• I have no words. Is this the world you wanted to live in?
• Moving on.
• Some news from the Business Desk…
• Dick's Sporting Goods is buying Foot Locker for about $2.4 billion.
• Dick’s is the largest sports retail chain in the U.S. It's been on strong financial footing, but it doesn't have reach outside the country.
• Foot Locker has struggled as a mall-based chain. Side note: I can’t remember the last time I was in a mall.
• But it has a massive footprint of stores — about 2,400 across 20 countries. Sounds like a win-win.
• Let’s move on to a final quote from our nearly 80-year-old president. He posted the following this morning during his crucial Middle East visit. Must be important.
• “Has anyone noticed that, since I said “I HATE TAYLOR SWIFT,” she’s no longer “HOT?” 
• And now, The Weather: “Breathe” by Skinny Dippers
• From the Sports Desk… each playoff game is getting more crucial to every remaining team.
• In the NBA: the Nuggets are taking the Thunder to Game 7. They won 119-107, wrapping up the series at 3-3. 
• In the NHL: the Jets blanked the Stars 4-0, staying alive in the playoffs as Dallas still leads their series 3-2. And the Hurricanes are moving into the Eastern Conference finals, having beat the Capitals 3-1 and winning the series in a 4-1 upset. There’s a possibility that none of the top-seeded teams in the NHL make the conference finals. Neat.
• Today in history… 14-year-old Marie Antoinette marries 15-year-old Louis-Auguste, who later becomes king of France (1770). Juan Godoy discovers the rich silver outcrops of Chañarcillo sparking the Chilean silver rush (1832). The first major wagon train heading for the Pacific Northwest sets out on the Oregon Trail from Elm Grove, Missouri, with 100 pioneers (1842). The United States Congress establishes the nickel (1866). The United States Senate fails to convict President Andrew Johnson by one vote (1868). Nikola Tesla delivers a lecture describing the equipment which will allow efficient generation and use of alternating currents to transmit electric power over long distances (1888). In Hollywood, the first Academy Awards ceremony takes place (1929). Theodore Maiman operates the first optical laser at Hughes Research Laboratories in Malibu, CA (1960). Josip Broz Tito is elected president for life of Yugoslavia (1974). Michael Jackson first performs his moonwalk dance on television (1983). A report by the Surgeon General of the United States C. Everett Koop states that the addictive properties of nicotine are similar to those of heroin and cocaine (1988). Queen Elizabeth II of the United Kingdom becomes the first British monarch to address the U.S. Congress (1991). Kuwait permits women's suffrage in a 35–23 National Assembly vote (2005).
• May 16 is the birthday of politician William H. Seward (1801), educator Elizabeth Palmer Peabody (1804), physicist David Edward Hughes (1831), ichthyologist Edith Grace White (1890), actor Henry Fonda (1905), author Studs Terkel (1912), clarinetist/band leader Woody Herman (1913), pianist Liberace (1919), microbiologist Barbara Bachmann (1924), politician John Conyers (1929), ballet dancer/actress Yvonne Craig (1937), drummer Billy Cobham (1944), actor Danny Trejo (1944), guitarist/songwriter Robert Fripp (1946), actor Pierce Brosnan (1953), singer-songwriter Richard Page (1953), gymnast Olga Korbut (1955), actress Debra Winger (1955), bass player Krist Novoselic (1965), singer-songwriter Janet Jackson (1966), journalist, I guess, Tucker Carlson (1969), tennis player Gabriela Sabatini (1970), actress Tori Spelling (1973), and actress Megan Fox (1986).

Time for me to wrap up this shit, go work out, and then do my job and stuff. Enjoy your day.