Random News: May 17, 2025

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

---

Good morning. It’s May 17, 2025, and it’s a Saturday. I’m in my blue bathrobe and have a big-ass cup of Peet’s Major Dickason’s Blend. Ground control to Major Dick… ground control to Major Dick… wait, what am I doing? Oh yeah, writing the preamble to my news. I obviously need more of this delicious coffee.

• Today is a special day.
• It’s the three-year anniversary of Zak’s Random News, this collection of bullet points you’re reading now.
• I started it for no reason on May 17, 2022. Well, that’s not exactly true.
• I’d found myself deluged with information that I felt was important for people to be aware of… but that meant I was dumping 10 posts per day on people who didn’t ask for that kind of information overload.
• So on that random day, which was a Tuesday, I decided to consolidate a bunch of that news into one post.
• It took awhile to get into a consistent format for this column (or whatever you want to call it). Looking back, the first couple of weeks were a mish-mash of news headlines, personal anecdotes, and so on.
• But by the time I’d been doing it for a month or so, the familiar format that we still use today was pretty much in place.
• I’d already added the “Today in History,” the daily birthday list, and the Sports Desk.
• In August of that year, I added my daily indie music recommendation that I call “The Weather,” having stolen that terminology from the “Welcome to Night Vale” podcast.
• And it’s remained pretty static since then. Having a set format allows me to more quickly deliver you more info in the time I allot to writing this shit, which is from 7:05-7:58am every weekday morning, and being a little more flexible about it on weekends (though I still aim to get it out by 10am on Saturday and Sunday).
• How many words have gone into “Zak’s Random News” since I started three years ago today?
• 1,773,265.
• Do I write every one of those words? Yes… and no.
• My general process is that during the day, every day, I keep an eye on news stories flying by. I do that with the help of various online tools. Google News is good, but I also get a bunch of news from trusted journalists on social media.
• Then I fact check each topic, with the Associated Press (AP) as my go-to vehicle for further information. I also use sources like Reuters, Washington Post, The Hill, Politico, and others.
• I really try and avoid “news” sources that tilt their coverage in extreme partisan directions.
• While I will often copy/paste information in the interest of time, I never just leave it as-is. Instead, I reformulate the info into my own words and my own style, which with you readers are  very familiar by now.
• And like anything else you do on a regular basis, it’s become a normal part of my day. The act of looking around and researching this stuff isn’t just for you; I’m more well informed for these past few years of doing ZRN than I ever had been at any previous point in my life.
• So while it may be enjoyable or valuable in some way for you, it’s even more so for me.
• Let’s do some news.
• Yesterday, the Supreme Court blocked Dump from moving forward with deportations under the 1798 Alien Enemies Act for a group of immigrants in northern Texas, siding with Venezuelans who feared they were poised for imminent removal under the sweeping wartime authority.
• The decision is a massive and humiliating loss for Dump, who’d tried to use the arcane law to speed deportations — and avoid the kind of review normally required before removing people from the country.
• Before you celebrate, keep in mind that the decision is temporary, and the underlying legal fight over Dump’s use of the act from the 18th century will continue in multiple federal courts across the country.
• The SCOTUS justices sent the case at issue back to an appeals court to decide the underlying questions in the case, including whether Dump’s move is legal and, if it is, how much notice the migrants targeted under the act should receive.
• Most justices agreed that Dump’s justification is fucking bullshit. Just two of them noted their dissent.
• I’m not even gonna say who they are. You already know.
• One great thing about the unsigned ruling: the court referenced another case that had reached it previously, that of Maryland father of three Kilmar Abrego Garcia. He’s the man who was kidnapped and sent to El Salvador with no wrongdoing and by mistake.
• The court noted that the Dump administration is “unable to provide for the return of an individual deported in error to a prison in El Salvador.”
• So if Dump couldn’t even bring just one person back, he certainly doesn’t get to send a bunch more away forever without giving them a chance to defend themselves in court, known as due process.
• Let’s move on.
• In another stunning setback for El Dumpo, House Republicans failed yesterday to push their big package of tax breaks (for the wealthy) and spending cuts (for everyone else) through the Budget Committee, as a handful of conservatives joined all Democrats in a vote against it.
• Here’s the funny part.
• The hard-right lawmakers are insisting on steeper spending cuts to Medicaid and green energy tax breaks, among other changes, before they will give their support to Dump’s self-proclaimed “beautiful” bill. They warn the tax cuts alone would pile onto the nation’s $36 trillion debt.
• In other words, they don’t think the plan is cruel enough. There you have it.
• The failed vote, 16-21, stalls, for now, House Speaker Mike Johnson’s push to have the package approved next week.
• Johnson had promised to jam it through before Memorial Day.
• And making this even sillier, the Senate has all but said they won’t pass it regardless of what the House does.
• But the Budget Committee plans to reconvene tomorrow to try again. Lawmakers vowed to negotiate into the weekend as Dump comes back from his grifting trip to the Middle East.
• As we’ve mentioned many times already, the money for the tax cuts for wealthy people will be taken from Medicaid, the health care program for some 70 million Americans.
• Millions of people will immediately lose their health coverage and food stamps assistance if the bill passes while the wealthiest Americans would reap enormous tax cuts.
• We’ll keep our eyes on this.
• For now, moving on.
• We need to unfortunately mention some weather news. Whenever I mention weather events this soon, it’s never good news.
• Dozens of people are dead after powerful storms and tornadoes tore through several Midwestern and Southern states overnight, leaving carnage and flattened buildings in their wake.
• In Kentucky alone, at least 24 people have died. In Missouri, there are at least seven dead — five in the St. Louis area and two others in a more rural part of the state.
• The storms left nearly a half million customers without power in dozens of states from Missouri to Maryland.
• So here’s hoping the best for my many friends in those areas, and all who are affected.
• Moving on.
• Dump just effectively made machine guns legal for anyone to own in the USA.
• His administration will allow the sale of forced-reset triggers, which make semiautomatic rifles fire more rapidly. This aftermarket gun product had been banned by the federal government for a long time, and a settlement also requires it to return seized devices.
• The agreement was quietly announced yesterday by the Justice Department. It’s a dramatic shift in Second Amendment policy under the Republican administration, which has signaled it may undo many of the regulations to curb gun violence.
• Fucking assholes.
• Forced-reset triggers replace the typical trigger on an AR-15-style semi-automatic rifle. Just keep your finger on the trigger, and the rifle will fire continuously. There’s a name for that: machine gun.
• There can never be enough death and carnage for the Dump world. I am convinced that they sexually get off on violence and mayhem.
• Moving on to another absolutely horrible story you may haver missed.
• The Department of Homeland Security has asked for 20,000 National Guard troops to assist with immigration roundups across the country, and the Pentagon is reviewing the nearly unheard-of request.
• You read it right. Imagine thousands of military members out in the streets rounding up anyone who doesn’t “look American.”
• DHS has openly asked for the troops to help carry out Dump’s “mandate from the American people to arrest and deport criminal illegal aliens.”
• I know it sounds unbelievable, but it’s true. Unlike the troops deployed at the southern border, these National Guard units would come from the states and be used to assist in deportation operations in the interior of the country.
• How the troops would be used depends on whether they remain under state governors’ control. Under the Posse Comitatus Act, troops under federal orders cannot be used for domestic law enforcement, but units under state control can.
• Look, we told you. I don’t know what I can say now to sugarcoat it. This is what fascism looks like. It’s what enough people voted for — or didn’t vote against — so it must be what you wanted.
• Let’s move on.
• As horrifying and disgusting as this next story is, I am compelled to tell you about it regardless.
• The Department of Homeland Security is reviewing a reality TV pitch where immigrants would compete for American citizenship.
• The producer Rob Worsoff, whose credits include “Duck Dynasty” and “The Biggest Loser,” has had three conversations with the current DHS about his pitch.
• He envisions his show being like “‘The Biggest Loser’ for immigration” — referencing the former reality show where overweight contestants competed to see who would lose the most weight.
• So, it’s pretty much “The Hunger Games” except with actual people who live or die based on TV ratings. Each episode would include a heritage challenge, an elimination challenge, a town-hall meeting, and a final vote.
• Worsoff acknowledged the stakes would be high for the contestants but said that’s not a bad thing.
• Welcome to Dumpyland.
• In somewhat related news…
• We need to do some entertainment news… starting with a story about a real Boss and a fat orange piece of overly-sensitive shit.
• This past week, when Bruce Springsteen launched his “Land of Hope and Dreams Tour” in Manchester, England, he gave a series of pointed speeches throughout the night.
• “In my home, the America I love, the America I’ve written about, and has been a beacon of hope and liberty for 250 years, is currently in the hands of a corrupt, incompetent, and treasonous administration,” said Springsteen.
• I agree with every word.
• Yesterday, Dumpy the Crying Clown freaked out about The Boss, writing, “I see that Highly Overrated Bruce Springsteen goes to a Foreign Country to speak badly about the President of the United States. Never liked him, never liked his music, or his Radical Left Politics and, importantly, he’s not a talented guy — Just a pushy, obnoxious JERK.”
• Which is his opinion, which people are free to express. But then Dump added a threat.
• “This dried out ‘prune’ of a rocker (his skin is all atrophied!) ought to KEEP HIS MOUTH SHUT until he gets back into the Country, that’s just ‘standard fare.’ Then we’ll all see how it goes for him!”
• The First Amendment allows for nearly anything to be said without fear of government retribution. Ironically, though, threats are not covered under Free speech protections.
• Dumpy is a whiny baby-man. I was glad to see the American Federation of Musicians issue an immediate rebuke to Dump after his threats and other negative comments about both Springsteen and Taylor Swift.
• In less political entertainment news, the Foo Fighters abruptly fired Josh Freeze, the drummer who was brought into the band two years ago to replace the late Taylor Hawkins.
• For those who are unaware, Freeze is a widely respected and highly experienced pro drummer, having been a member of bands including Nine Inch Nails, Guns N’ Roses, Devo and many others, as well as a session player and hired gun on hundreds of chart-topping albums and huge tours.
• Odd. Freeze stated, “In my 40 years of drumming professionally, I’ve never been let go from a band, so while I’m not angry—just a bit shocked and disappointed.”
• I’ll bet.
• A duck in Switzerland is in big trouble.
• Caught via a traffic radar detector in the city of Köniz, the mallard was clocked on April 13 doing 52 kilometers per hour in a 30 kilometers per hour zone.
• You’d think that was the weird part of this story. It’s not.
• On April 13, 2018 — seven years to the day from this current speeding infraction — a duck was also caught in the same place by the same radar trap.
• And then they analyzed the images and… it’s the same fucking duck.
• And now, The Weather: “Right out the Window” by Fib
• From the Sports Desk… yes, playoffs.
• In the NBA: we will not have a repeat champion as the Knicks beat the Celtics 119-81 and sent them packing, winning the series 4-2. They’ll face the Pacers in the Eastern Conference Finals starting next week. 
• In the NHL: we’re gonna have another game 7 after the Maple Leafs beat the Panthers 2-0 and tying their series at 3-3.
• Today in history… Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn's marriage is annulled (1536). The New York Stock Exchange is formed under the Buttonwood Agreement (1792). Aristides wins the first Kentucky Derby with the jockey Oliver Lewis (1875). The children's novel The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, by L. Frank Baum, is first published in the United States (1900). Greek archaeologist Valerios Stais discovers the Antikythera mechanism, an ancient mechanical analog computer (1902). The United States Supreme Court hands down a unanimous decision in Brown v. Board of Education of Topeka, Kansas, outlawing racial segregation in public schools (1954). Soviet Venera 6 begins its descent into the atmosphere of Venus, sending back atmospheric data before being crushed by pressure (1969). Televised hearings in the Watergate scandal begin in the United States Senate (1973). Nolan Bushnell opened the first ShowBiz Pizza Place — later renamed Chuck E. Cheese — in San Jose, CA (1977). The U.S. Department of Energy declassifies documents showing world's largest mercury pollution event in Oak Ridge, TN in response to the Appalachian Observer's Freedom of Information Act request (1983). The General Assembly of the World Health Organization eliminates homosexuality from the list of psychiatric diseases (1990). The first legal same-sex marriages in the U.S. are performed in the state of Massachusetts (2004).
• May 17 is the birthday of monk/poet/historian Jien (1155), physician/microbiologist Edward Jenner (1749), mathematician/social activist Charlotte Barnum (1860), pianist/composer Erik Satie (1866), businessman Horace Elgin Dodge (1868), lawyer/politician Archibald Cox (1912), singer-songwriter Antonio Aguilar (1919), actor Dennis Hopper (1936), singer-songwriter Taj Mahal (1942), drummer Bill Bruford (1949), actor Bill Paxton (1955), boxer Sugar Ray Leonard (1956), comedian/actor Bob Saget (1956), singer-songwriter/producer Enya (1961), TV host Craig Ferguson (1962), keyboardist Page McConnell (1963), singer-songwriter/producer Trent Reznor (1965), drummer Dave Abbruzzese (1968), politician Gina Raimondo (1971), singer-songwriter/guitarist Josh Homme (1973), NBA player Tony Parker (1982), and NFL player Matt Ryan (1985).

Well, it’s time for me to get this posted and then do other things that I have planned for a Saturday. If there are things you like doing in life, I advise you do them now. You might not have the opportunity in much longer. Carpe diem. Enjoy your day.