Hotel Chelsea (04.01.25)

The view from the stage at Hotel Chelsea in Second Life. Photo by Kat.

Salutations, loyal reader. It is I, Zak Claxton -- singer-songwriter, performing musician, and sexy-ass motherfucker -- here to write to you in complete sentences (as opposed to myriad bullet points) to tell you about my phenomenal show Tuesday night at Hotel Chelsea in Second Life.

Will You, Though?

Of course I will. I always get around to talking about the show. You know that. Why would I post a report about a show and not talk about the show?

Oh, you mean because of all the other stuff (gestures randomly) going on in the world. Yes, even though I cover that information every day in my Random News bullets, I also tend to mention things in these show reports as well. And frankly, why would anyone bother reading some collection of words that went, "Um, I did a show, people saw it, here's what I played, the end?"

So while I don't just repeat the news that I'd already posted in recent days, I do want to delve a little deeper into a topic or two, and this is a fine place to do it.

April 5, 2025: Hands Off!

Yes, this is a big topic in my mind right now. This coming Saturday, I will once again be getting involved in a protest action. Hands Off! is a nationwide mobilization with the goal of raising awareness about the most brazen power grab in modern history. Specifically, as you may have already inferred, it's about Donnie Dump, his boss Elon Musk, and their billionaire cronies who are orchestrating an all-out assault on our government, our economy, and our basic rights. And they're being enabled by other sectors of our federal government, like Congress and the Supreme Court.

You likely know the specifics already. They're shuttering Social Security offices, they're firing essential workers, they're eliminating consumer protections, and they're gutting Medicaid, among other heinous and unacceptable actions. Why? To bankroll their billionaire tax scam. They’re handing over our tax dollars, our public services, and our democracy to the ultra-rich.

As the organizers say, "If we don’t fight now, there won’t be anything left to save."

I'm be one of hundreds of thousands of Americans -- or hopefully even more -- participating in the Hands Off! national day of action on Saturday April 5. And yes, I'll give you a full synopsis afterwards. That's what I do.

Taking It To The Streets

When I was younger, I never was involved in direct protest actions. It wasn't that there was no reason to make my voice heard; we've never lived in such a utopia that there wasn't a need for action. But like many people, I never understood the need to protest. Frankly, in my generation, protesting was something that people had done against the Vietnam War when I was a small child. It didn't seem necessary.

Boy, was I wrong. Anyway, it took me until 2011, in my early 40s, before I started to understand how protests made a difference while watching livestreams of the "Occupy Wall Street" movement. I started to add my own participation in social and political activism around that time.

In 2018, I got directly involved after the horrifying mass murder at Marjorie Stoneman Douglas High School in Lakeland, Florida. I participated in the "March for Our Lives" event here in my beach cities area on March 24 of that year, joining over 5,000 other local residents in protesting gun violence. I had no idea how inspirational and invigorating it would be to be part of something like that.

A couple of pics of me at previous protests. I'm not new at this.

In June of that year, I was out in the streets again for the "Families Belong Together" rally to protest the separation of children from their parents at the US-Mexico border. In November, I joined up with people at the "Nobody Is Above the Law" protest, supporting the then-investigation of Dumpy's criminal actions by Robert Mueller. Hundreds and hundreds of people were at each of those street-based events. In 2019, I was present at another event -- this one smaller and more local -- called "Lights for Liberty", and its focus was immigrant detention and child separation policies.

So, I find myself truly looking forward to making my voice heard at Saturday's "Hands Off!" day of action. I'll be found at the closest "Hands Off!" event to my home because a) it's important to show your neighbors and other local folks in your area that you care, and b) ain't no way in hell I'm dealing with getting in and out of downtown LA to be with the larger crowd at Pershing Square.

Cool. But Were You Ever Going To Talk About The Show?

Yes, calm down. I told you I would, and now here we are.

First of all, it was only through happenstance -- and the functionality of our calendar system -- that my show ended up on April 1, with the date being the first Tuesday of the month when I always perform at Hotel Chelsea in Second Life.

And for going on 19 years, I've often billed myself as "The Musical Fool of Second Life." Not in the sense that I'm some kind of idiot, but that I tend to be silly and spontaneous in many aspects of my performance. It's not everyone's cup of tea, but it's my natural state when I'm in front off a mic with a spotlight on me.

Me, looking rather pleased onstage at Hotel Chelsea. Photo by Kat.

I always enjoy when I can tell the crowd is having a good time. Feel free to scream random shit at me while I play. Photo by Kat.

So having a show that was literally on April Fools' Day couldn't have been more perfect. I mostly did a random set list with the exception of a few tunes at the end that were more focused on it being April Fools'.

I'll say it again: I've never not had a good show at Chelsea. Not once in years. Low pressure, fun crowd, and the welcoming attitude to play whatever I feel like from the most obscure to the most popular tunes in history. It's all good there. Photo by Kat.

Hotel Chelsea set list...

This Afternoon (Zak Claxton) 

One of These Things First (Nick Drake)

Carry Me Here and There (They Stole My Crayon)

On Fire (Idaho)

Ashes to Ashes (David Bowie)

Sleeper (Knitting)

God Only Knows (Beach Boys)

Save It For Later (English Beat) 

Pretty Pimpin (Kurt Vile) 

The Joker (Steve Miller)

Fool on the Hill (Beatles)

*Lovefool (The Cardigans)

*Improvised Outro (Zak Claxton)

*Indicates the first time I've performed this song in SL.

Huge thanks to everyone who hung out and enjoyed my show... and special extra thanks to the following who helped support it!

Maximillion Kleene, Bablyn Resident, Richy Nervous, Kat Claxton, Trouble Streeter, not4gods Resident, aumat1 Resident, Dean Xochitl, Nina Brandenburg, bundy Xue, Alessia Rodeyn, my terrific manager Maali Beck, Hotel Chelsea manager Shyla the Super Gecko, and Chelsea's great staff!

Random News: April 2, 2025

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s April 2, 2025, and it’s a Wednesday. And I am here to tell you, today is a good day, a point that will be proven beyond any reasonable doubt in the words I shall now write to you. Let’s fucking go.

• But first, a note.
• There are now over a thousand Hands Off action events scheduled for Saturday April 5.
• Every state in the union has a Hands off event planned.
• Juneau, Alaska? Check. Glendive, Montana? Check. Fairfield, Iowa? Yes indeed. Harrisburg, PA? You betcha. Bemidji, MN? For sure. Florence, South Carolina? Absolutely.
• And, of course, Los Angeles and Boston and New York and Seattle and Miami and Atlanta and Dallas and Chicago and many other large cities as well.
• I’m going. I think you should go too.
• We’ll talk about some final details in the next couple of days to help you prepare, especially if you don’t have experience in previous protest actions.
• And now, the news.
• Senator Cory Booker (D-NJ) mounted a historic protest on the Senate floor across two days, warning against the harms that Dumpy and his pals are inflicting on the American public.
• He started on Monday evening at about 7PM local time… and proceeded to speak for 25 hours and 5 minutes, breaking the record for the longest floor speech in modern history of the chamber.
• Making the moment more poignant: Booker’s record speech surpassed that of the late Sen. Strom Thurmond, one of the most notorious racists in our federal government. Thurmond’s speech in 1957 lasted 24 hour and 18 minutes while he railed against the Civil Rights Act.
• That record is now gone forever.
• What was Booker’s goal? It wasn’t, as some opined, to delay any legislative business in the Senate. He wasn’t attempting to hold up any specific piece of legislation.
• Instead, the marathon speaking session from Booker, a member of the Senate Democratic leadership team, was a huge and very public display of a harder line that Democratic voters and other sane Americans want our leaders to take against Trump.
• And the high-profile moment was noticed. Over 280 million views of Booker’s record speech were counted on TikTok alone.
• Did it matter?
• Yes.
• Longtime GOP pollster Frank Luntz had this to day…
• “I want to emphasize what Cory Booker did over the last 24 hours may have changed the course of political history. I watched a lot of it. I listened to words.  I listened to phrases.”
• Luntz added, “He struck the kind of tone that grassroots Democrats are looking for. He gave them a reason to fight. He gave them a reason to stand up and say, this is my country too.”
• It’s also been speculated that Booker’s speech will likely make him a contender for the 2028 presidential race.
• And that’s all fine and good. We could do a lot worst than him. But I don’t think that was his main objective for doing it.
• I genuinely think he was only interested in the here-and-now, sounding an alarm that should be of concern to every American across all political parties and ideologies.
• Hats off to him. Let’s move on.
• A huge and extraordinarily important win for Democrats happened last night in the great state of Wisconsin.
• Susan Crawford, a Dane County judge who led legal fights to protect union power and abortion rights and to oppose voter ID, handily defeated a challenger endorsed by Dump and Musk.
• Her victory cements a liberal majority in the state’s supreme court for at least three more years.
• Why should anyone care about one state’s supreme court race?
• Well, Musk spent more than $21 million in an effort to defeat Crawford. Elmo even traveled to Wisconsin two days before the election to personally hand over $1 million checks to three voters.
• As a result, this was the costliest judicial race in history.
• Here’s a quote from Musk about this little election, if this puts it in some sort of perspective: “I think it matters for the future of the world.”
• That’s why he was literally paying people to vote, which in theory should be illegal but we all know that laws don’t apply to the wealthy.
• Crawford addressed it in her victory speech.
• “Today Wisconsinites fended off an unprecedented attack on our democracy, our fair elections and our Supreme Court. And Wisconsin stood up and said loudly that justice does not have a price, our courts are not for sale.”
• Fuck yeah. You tell him.
• The end result: in a state that Dumpy allegedly won in the 2024 election just four months ago, Crawford beat the Dump/Musk-backed conservative candidate Brad Schimel by ten points, getting over 1.3 million votes and winning 55% to his 45%.
• This is a sign for things to come.
• Moving on.
• Down in Florida, there were two special elections yesterday in some of the most deep-red conservative MAGA districts in the country.
• And as we said with no uncertainty, both Republican candidates won in Florida’s District 1 and District 6.
• But both elections should be massively troubling for candidates looking towards the 2026 midterm election.
• Both showed a huge, nearly unprecedented swing of 16-17 points toward Democrats.
• In FL-01, Republicans won by a margin of +32 last fall. Last night, it was only +15.
• In FL-06, voters chose Republicans at +30 in November. In yesterday’s election, in was only +14
• Extrapolating that data trend nationwide, a 16-17 point shift would swing 45-48 House seats blue.
• We are angry and we are coming at you and we will not be stopped.
• Let’s keep moving on.
• Dumpy’s administration made a big mistake, and they actually admitted it.
• They acknowledged having deported a Maryland man with protected legal status to a notorious El Salvador prison. They say he was deported because of an administrative error.
• And despite that, they are arguing against returning him to federal custody in the United States.
• U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement officials admitted in a court filing on Monday night to an “administrative error” in deporting the 29-year-old man, generating immediate uproar from immigration advocates.
• Kilmar Armando Abrego Garcia — a hard worker and a father — was arrested on March 12 after completing a shift as a sheet metal worker apprentice at a construction site in Baltimore.
• He was then sent to a notorious prison in his home country, the Terrorism Confinement Center, or CECOT, which activists say is rife with abuses and where inmates are packed into cells and never allowed outside.
• The conditions at CECOT are as bad — or worse — than those in the infamous concentration camps run by Nazi Germany in the 1930s and 1940s.
• Abrego Garcia left El Salvador when he was around sixteen years old, fleeing gang violence. Gang members had stalked, hit, and threatened to kidnap and kill him in order to coerce his parents to succumb to their increasing demands for extortion.
• The U.S. government has never produced an iota of evidence to support the unfounded accusation that he’s a member of a gang.
• Bring him back. Now, you fucking pieces of shit.
• In other news…
• Attorney General Pam Bondi said yesterday that the Justice Department will seek the death penalty for accused UnitedHealthcare CEO killer Luigi Mangione.
• Bondi said she will direct the interim US attorney for the Southern District of New York, Matthew Podolsky, to seek the death penalty in the case if Mangione is convicted on capital murder charges.
• As you certainly recall, Mangione is facing state and federal charges for allegedly shooting UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson in Midtown Manhattan in December.
• He has pleaded not guilty to the state charges. Mangione was charged in a federal criminal complaint but has not yet been indicted on those charges.
• Dump has said multiple times that he wants to ramp up the number of death penalty punishments at a federal level. During his first term, Dump carried out the first federal executions in nearly two decades, putting to death 13 inmates in the months before he left office. 
• I’m pretty sure he gets off on it sexually. He’s a perverted and vile man.
• Anyway, the federal criminal complaint charges Mangione with murder through use of a firearm, two stalking charges, and a firearms offense.
• Let’s move on.
• This little situation I reported on yesterday regarding Rep. Anna Paulina Luna's (R-FL) leaving the Freedom Caucus has turned into a bigger deal.
• Yesterday, the House voted to defy House Speaker Mike Johnson (R-LA) and force a vote on allowing members who are new parents to vote by proxy for three months.
• That is a brutal loss for Johnson, who poured considerable political capital into trying to snuff out Luna's efforts on this cause.
• She launched what is called a discharge petition, which can force a vote on any measure without the support of leadership if 218 House members sign on.
• And she got the signatures — including a dozen Republicans — and the vote will have to happen by the end of the week.
• The Republicans who voted against Johnson include Reps. Tim Burchett (R-TN), Mike Lawler (R-NY), Will Kiley (R-CA), Nick LaLota (R-NY), Jeff Van Drew (R-NJ), Max Miller (R-OH), Greg Steube (R-FL), Ryan Mackenzie (R-PA), and Luna herself.
• Johnson is only doing what his bosses Elon Musk and Donnie Dump are telling him to do. The very idea of giving lawmakers the ability to vote right after they’ve had children is abhorrent to them.
• Why would anyone care about their children? That’s what people like Musk and Dump want to know.
• And now, The Weather: “Curse” by Bill Waters
• A huge and sad rest in peace going out to actor Val Kilmer, who played Bruce Wayne in “Batman Forever,” channeled Jim Morrison in Oliver Stone‘s “The Doors,” and starred as a tubercular Doc Holliday in “Tombstone.”
• He died yesterday at 65. Kilmer had been battling throat cancer for several years.
• He was a unique and great talent. "I'm your huckleberry.”
• From the Sports Desk… not to be a blatant fanboy, but my Los Angeles Dodgers may be even more amazing than we’d anticipated.
• Last night, they came from behind to beat the Braves 3-1 and improve to 7-0, tying the 1933 New York Yankees of Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig for the best start to a season for a reigning champion.
• Only two Dodgers teams have started a season on a longer winning streak, and both instances — in 1940 and 1955 — occurred when the franchise was still in Brooklyn.
• LET’S GO BLUE!
• Today in history… Having spotted land on March 27, Spanish explorer Juan Ponce de León comes ashore on what is now the U.S. state of Florida (1513). The Coinage Act is passed by Congress, establishing the United States Mint (1792). Ludwig van Beethoven leads the premiere of his First Symphony in Vienna (1800). "Electric Theatre", the first full-time movie theater in the United States, opens in Los Angeles (1902). President Wilson asks the U.S. Congress for a declaration of war on Germany, entering the country into World War I (1917). After the mysterious death of Empress Zewditu, Haile Selassie is proclaimed emperor of Ethiopia (1930). Launch of the LexisNexis computerized legal research service (1973). Argentina invades the Falkland Islands (1982). Rita Johnston becomes the first female Premier of a Canadian province when she succeeds William Vander Zalm as Premier of British Columbia (1991). The total number of confirmed COVID-19 cases reach one million (2020). 
• April 2 is the birthday of Frankish king Charlemagne (747), novelist Hans Christian Andersen (1805), novelist Émile Zola (1840), businessman Walter Chrysler (1875), painter/sculptor Max Ernst (1891), actor Buddy Ebsen (1908), actor Alec Guinness (1914), actor/producer Jack Webb (1920), singer-songwriter Marvin Gaye (1939), radio host Dr. Demento (1941), singer-songwriter/pianist Leon Russell (1942), guitarist Larry Coryell (1943), MLB player Don Sutton (1945), singer-songwriter/guitarist Emmylou Harris (1947), actor Christopher Meloni (1961), police brutality victim Rodney King (1965), actor Pedro Pascal (1975), actor Michael Fassbender (1977), rapped Quavo (1991), and singer-songwriter Zach Bryan (1996).

Honestly, there’s a lot more news happening right now than what I gave you here, but hopefully you see the importance of the stuff I chose to cover. It’s an exciting time — which you can take in both good and very bad ways — but at least you should know what’s happening, and hopefully this helps. Enjoy your day.

Random News: April 1, 2025

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s April 1, 2025, and it’s a Tuesday. Since it’s April Fools’ Day, I have a quiz to start things off. Which of the following statements are true? I was once a professional fashion model, I was awarded the 1983 “Most Improved Player” on my high school basketball team, and my name isn’t Zak Claxton. The answer is at the bottom.

• Rabbit rabbit rabbit.
• I don’t believe in luck as a tangible thing, but we all need as much of it as possible these days. Also, I have not died even once after mentioning the rabbits at the start of a new month.
• A note…
• I mentioned yesterday that this coming Saturday — April 5, 2025 — I’ll be participating in the national “Hands Off” action event.
• They are happening across the country. A quick look at the national map shows about 90 in California, 25 in Texas, 50 in Washington, 50 in Florida, 60 in Michigan, 40 in Illinois, and so on.
• In Southern California alone, events are being held in the South Bay (where I’ll be attending), the Pico-Robertson area, Lakewood, Pershing Square, Thousand Oaks, Los Feliz, Glendale, Malibu, Pasadena, Santa Barbara, Lompoc, Palm Springs, Joshua Tree, Bakersfield, Antelope Valley, in Orange County, Oceanside, San Diego, and more.
• I can almost guarantee there’s one happening somewhere in the USA near you. I mean, hell, there are like 10 in Alabama and five in Arkansas. Get involved!
• If you’ve never protested before and you have strong feelings about what Dump and Musk are doing to the USA and the world, I will promise you that the very act of getting out in the street with like-minded people will be invigorating and inspiring to you.
• Is there a risk? I mean, sure. Anything worthwhile comes with a risk. There’s also a risk of falling in the bathtub, but that doesn’t stop you from showering (I hope).
• Once again, I have a link in the comments to find the Hands Off event near you. Get involved. Take control of your future. Plan to go.
• And now, the news.
• In news that may still be ongoing, Senator Cory Booker (D-NJ) has been delivering a marathon speech on the Senate floor overnight. It started at 7PM yesterday and is continuing into this morning.
• Booker’s incredible endurance action is a protest of the Dump administration's policies.
• You know him by now. Booker is a 55-year-old who first came to the Senate in 2013, and is now the fourth-ranking Democrat. He said last night that he would continue speaking "for as long as I am physically able." As the sun rose this morning, he was still speaking from the Senate floor. 
• Booker cited the legacy of leaders, like late congressman and civil rights activist John Lewis, whom he said stood up "when this country was facing crossroads, was facing crises, they stood up."
• "Tonight, I rise with the intention of getting in some good trouble," Booker said, pledging to disrupt the normal business of the Senate. "I rise tonight because I believe sincerely that our country is in crisis… These are not normal times in America, and they should not be treated as such."
• Fuck yeah.
• A few hours ago at 7am ET this morning, Booker acknowledged the 12 hours that has passed, saying he's "wide awake" and would "stand here for as many hours as I can."
• Proud of him.
• Moving on.
• According to the White House, the review of how Atlantic editor Jeffrey Goldberg was inadvertently included on a Signal message group chat of high-ranking officials discussing impending strikes in Yemen is now closed.
• And what did they find, and who will be culpable for this massive error that stunned Washington because of the sensitive nature of the information disclosed on the app?
• "This case has been closed here at the White House as far as we are concerned," press secretary Karoline Leavitt told reporters yesterday. "There have been steps made to ensure that something like that can obviously never happen again, and we're moving forward," she said.
• Oh really? Like, what steps?
• Leavitt would not offer any details about what supposed steps the White House is taking after its review of Signalgate. Last week, she had told reporters that the National Security Council, the White House counsel's office, and Actual President Musk were all looking into how the mishap happened.
• Snort.
• And Leavitt added that Dumpy's national security adviser Mike Waltz — who created the group chat and added Goldberg to it — "continues to be an important part of the national security team."
• So basically, they did nothing. Because they fucking suck.
• Moving on.
• Dumples the Economic Clown is very proud of his fast-approaching “Liberation Day” — also know as tomorrow, when his ridiculous tariff taxes on the American people go into effect.
• Want to know how bad this really is?
• This administration is so incompetent that they’ve not only alienated two of our biggest trade partners — Japan and South Korea — but now those two countries have established trade agreements with China to make up for the losing prospects of doing business with the USA under Dump.
• Anyway, now China, Japan, and South Korea have agreed to jointly respond to U.S. tariffs, per China state media.
• Slow clap.
• Another note on Fatty McShitbrains… he’s still tightening his tiny grip over the Justice Department, a law enforcement agency previously known for its long tradition of political independence.
• On Friday, an assistant U.S. attorney in Los Angeles was fired without explanation in an terse email from the White House Presidential Personnel Office shortly after one of the. worst MAGA pieces of shit posted about him on social media.
• Adam Schleifer, who fought against corporate & securities fraud, received an email saying he was being terminated “on behalf of President Donald J. Trump.”
• It arrived exactly one hour after right-wing activist and fucking lunatic Laura Loomer called for him to be fired in a social media post.
• Is that how it works now? Talk shit on Twitter to punish anyone you don’t like? is that how we want our country run?
• That fiasco followed the White House’s firing last week of a longtime career prosecutor who had been serving as acting U.S. attorney in Memphis, TN.
• The terminations have embroiled the Justice Department in turmoil and have raised alarm about the erosion of the agency’s independence from the White House.
• Let’s move to some better news.
• Yesterday, U.S. District Judge Edward M. Chen  temporarily blocked the Dump administration from ending humanitarian protections for hundreds of thousands of Venezuelans who have sought refuge in the United States, days before they were set to lose their work permits and shield against deportation.
• The order prevents the Department of Homeland Security from allowing temporary protected status to expire on April 7 for approximately 350,000 Venezuelans, and gives recipients time to proceed with a legal challenge.
• Good.
• Venezuela’s extreme poverty and economic and political crises under Nicolás Maduro’s autocratic rule were the reasons for the protection. But dog murderer and horrible human being Kristi Noem said that conditions in Venezuela “no longer” met the criteria for its citizens to qualify for temporary protected status.
• Judge Chen wrote that Noem’s swift decision to terminate temporary protected status and mischaracterization of Venezuelans as criminals was unlawful and “smacks of racism.”
• I agree!
• In related news…
• Today, a coalition of state attorneys general sued the Dump administration over its decision to cut $11 billion in federal funds that go toward COVID-19 initiatives and various public health projects across the country.
• Officials from 23 states filed the suit in federal court in Rhode Island. They include New York Attorney General Letitia James, Kentucky Gov. Andy Beshear, Pennsylvania Gov. Josh Shapiro, as well as attorneys general California, Minnesota, North Carolina, Wisconsin, and New York , as well as the District of Columbia.
• The lawsuit argues the “sudden and reckless cuts violate federal law, jeopardize public health, and will have devastating consequences for communities nationwide.”
• They’re asking the court to immediately stop Dump from rescinding the money, which was allocated by Congress during the pandemic and mostly used for COVID-related efforts such as testing and vaccination. The money also went to addiction and mental health programs.
• Good. Keep pounding his ass into the ground.
• Let’s keep going with more wins for the good guys.
• Alabama’s attorney general cannot threaten groups in the state with prosecution for helping women travel out of state to obtain abortions, a federal judge ruled late yesterday.
• “It is one thing for Alabama to outlaw by statute what happens in its own backyard,” U.S. District Judge Myron Thompson concluded. “It is another thing for the State to enforce its values and laws, as chosen by the Attorney General, outside its boundaries by punishing its citizens and others who help individuals travel to another State to engage in conduct that is lawful there.”
• Correct. That right to interstate travel, which Thompson deemed “one of our most fundamental constitutional rights,” was central to the lawsuit. So, too, was the First Amendment.
• We’re gonna keep the pressure on these assholes every moment of every day.
• Moving on to follow up on a very interesting election happening today that we’d mentioned in previous reports.
• The special elections to replace Florida’s Republican former U.S. Reps. Matt Gaetz and Michael Waltz will be held in two of the state’s GOP strongholds, and I can tell you right now, Republicans will absolutely win both of them.
• In the 1st Congressional District, Republican Jimmy Patronis and Democrat Gay Valimont are running to replace Gaetz, the child rapist who had to withdraw form consideration for Attorney General.
• The four counties that make up the 1st District have voted for Republican presidential candidates almost continually for the past 60 years.
• In the 6th Congressional District, the candidates are Republican state Sen. Randy Fine and Democrat Josh Weil, a public school educator in Osceola County.
• Dumpy carried the district in 2024 with 65 percent of the vote.
• So again, there’s zero possibility that these Democratic candidates will win.
• What we’re watching is the margins of victory. Both Patronis and Fine should easily beat their opponents by 20 or more points.
• If they don’t… it’s definitely a sign of great dissatisfaction wit the current GOP leadership. We’ll report more tomorrow.
• Moving on with some news about how the MAGA folks need to feel hate so badly that they always end up hating each other.
• Rep. Anna Paulina Luna (R-FL) is leaving the right-wing House Freedom Caucus over its opposition to her efforts to allow House members who are new parents to vote by proxy.
• Luna has become the fourth member that the disgusting Freedom Caucus has lost or ejected in the last two years over growing internal divisions.
• Along with Democratic Rep. Brittany Pettersen (D-CO), Luna was trying to force a change to House rules to allow new parents — mothers as well as fathers — to vote by proxy for up to 12 weeks around the birth of a baby.
• Seems reasonable enough to me. But as you know, that goes against all typical Republican ideology. They don’t want children to be cared for after they are born.
• Shrug. Let’s move on.
• Want to know more about April Fools’ Day?
• First, it’s a lot older than you probably think. The actual origins are uncertain, but there’s a disputed association that goes all the way back to 1392, with Geoffrey Chaucer's ‘The Canterbury Tales.'
• In the "Nun's Priest's Tale", a vain cock is tricked by a fox on "Since March began thirty days and two,” 32 days since March began, which is April 1.
• References to April Fools were likely present in the Middle Ages. At the time, New Year's Day was celebrated from March 25-31 in most European towns, and those who celebrated New Year's on January 1 made fun of those who celebrated on other dates by the invention of April Fools' Day.
• I approve of that.
• There is an unambiguous reference to April Fools' Day in a 1561 poem by Flemish poet Eduard de Dene of a nobleman who sent his servant on foolish errands on April 1.
• Anyway, I’m not fooling; all that shit is true.
• And now, The Weather: “Asking” by Finnish Postcard
• From the Sports Desk… we have a Final Four in the NCAA Women’s tournament.
• 1-seed UCLA will face 2-seed UConn. 1-seed South Carolina will go up against 1-seed Texas.
• Both games happen on Friday April 4. The championship game between the winners will be on Sunday April 6.
• Today in history… The United States House of Representatives achieves its first quorum and elects Frederick Muhlenberg of Pennsylvania as its first Speaker (1789). Union troops led by Philip Sheridan decisively defeat Confederate troops led by George Pickett, cutting the Army of Northern Virginia's last supply line (1865). The Territorial Force, renamed Territorial Army in 1920, is formed as a volunteer reserve component of the British Army (1908). Adolf Hitler is sentenced to five years imprisonment for his participation in the "Beer Hall Putsch" but spends only nine months in jail (1924). United States President Dwight D. Eisenhower authorizes the creation of the United States Air Force Academy in Colorado Springs, CO (1954). President Richard Nixon signs the Public Health Cigarette Smoking Act into law (1970). Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak found Apple Computer, Inc. (1976). Iran becomes an Islamic republic by a 99% vote, officially overthrowing the Shah (1979). Singer Marvin Gaye is shot to death by his father in his home in Arlington Heights, Los Angeles, CA (1984). Nunavut is established as a Canadian territory carved out of the eastern part of the Northwest Territories (1999). Same-sex marriage becomes legal in the Netherlands, the first contemporary country to allow it (2001). Google launches its Email service Gmail (2004).
• April 1 is the birthday of mathematician/physicist Sophie Germain (1776), politician Otto von Bismarck (1815), composer Sergei Rachmaninoff (1873), actor Lon Chaney (1883), actor Wallace Beery (1995), psychologist Abraham Maslow (1908), librarian Augusta Braxton Baker (1911), actress Grace Lee Whitney (1930), actress Ali MacGraw (1939), MLB player Phil Niekro (1939), bass player Ronnie Lane (1946), singer-songwriter Gil Scott-Heron (1949), SCOTUS justice Samuel Alito (1950), drummer Jeff Porcaro (1954), singer/musician D. Boon (1958), singer Susan Boyle (1961), journalist Rachel Maddow (1973), actress Bijou Phillips (1980), actor Taran Killam (1982), NBA player Brook Lopez (1988), NBA player Robin Lopez (1988), and YouTube influencer Logan Paul (1995).

The answer to our quiz question up top? April Fools… all of them are true. Gotcha. I’ll remind you to see the link to the Hands Off day of action in the comments. Enjoy your day.

Random News: March 31, 2025

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s March 31, 2025, and it’s a Monday. I’m up and about after a series of unsettling and bizarre dreams that seemed to last through the night. It’s like, my brain can do anything it wants while I’m asleep and it chooses to freak me out. How is that fair? Thanks a lot, stupid brain.

• A little note to start the week.
• In the 2024 election, 30.84% of registered voters voted for Harris, and 36.33% of them did not vote at all.
• That’s a total of 67.17% of voters who didn’t support Dumpy in the election. When you hear the MAGAs talk about a landslide, or are told that most Americans support Dumpy’s current actions, know there is not one tangible metric that says these statements are true.
• One more note before we jump to the news…
• In a topic I’ll be mentioning more this week, it’s time to get off my ass and take to the streets.
• I’ll be participating in a nationwide peaceful protest on Saturday April 5. It’s called Hands Off, a national day of action to stand up against those who believe they can take whatever they want — our democracy, our future, our rights.
• There are local events happening nearly everywhere, so take a look at the link in comments and see if there’s one near you. We’ll take to the streets with a clear message: Hands off!
• Then sign up and go. If you need help getting more info or are scared or have never done any public protests before, feel free to shoot me any questions or concerns.
• The events are being coordinated by a wide range of well-known protest organizations like Indivisible, MoveOn, Mobilize, and more.
• You will likely feel a million times better by getting personally involved in standing up to President Musk and his little sidekick Dumpy.
• That’s assuming we all don’t get our constitutional rights violated for exercising our right to assemble.
• Anyway, I’m doing it. And hopefully so will you. Link for info in the comments.
• Moving on.
• Dumples the Demented Clown spent time dreaming this past weekend about serving a third term.
• Yes, the Constitution says he can’t, but you know that guy would wipe his ass with our country’s most sacred document if it were handy.
• Is he just joking?
• Dumpy said yesterday that “I’m not joking” about trying to serve a third term, so no, he’s not. Believe them when they tell you the shitty things they’ll do.
• “There are methods which you could do it,” mused the lame-ass lame duck.
• Now would be a good time to point out the 22nd Amendment, which was added to the Constitution in 1951 after President Franklin D. Roosevelt was elected four times in a row. It says “no person shall be elected to the office of the President more than twice.”
• What is there’s a sneaky trick to doing it? Like, NBC’s Kristen Welker asked Dumpy if one potential avenue to a third term was having Vice President JD Vance run for the top job and “then pass the baton to you.”
• “Well, that’s one,” Trump responded.
• No it isn’t.
• The 12th Amendment, ratified in 1804, says “no person constitutionally ineligible to the office of President shall be eligible to that of Vice-President of the United States.” That clearly means that if Dump is not eligible to run for president again because of the 22nd Amendment, he is not eligible to run for vice president, either.
• Fucking dumbass.
• Regardless, any attempt to remain in office would be legally suspect at best, and would require extraordinary acquiescence by federal and state officials, not to mention the courts and voters themselves.
• Then Dumpy hilariously added that Americans would go along with a third term because of his popularity, falsely claiming to have “the highest poll numbers of any Republican for the last 100 years.”
• He’s not even close. George W. Bush reached a 90% approval rating after the attacks on Sept. 11, 2001. His father, President George H.W. Bush, hit 89% following the Gulf War in 1991.
• And Dumpy? He’s maxed out at 47%.
• Insane piece of shit.
• Let’s move on while continuing to illustrate the madness of the wannabe king.
• Over the weekend, Donnie “I Skipped Economics Class” Dump said he doesn’t care at all about the burden on American consumers if car prices spike because of his 25 percent tariffs on auto imports — which they’re about to.
• “I couldn’t care less. I hope [foreign automakers] raise their prices, because if they do, people are going to buy American-made cars. We have plenty,” he said.
• Problem? Dumpy says the tariffs “will be applied to imported passenger vehicles (sedans, SUVs, crossovers, minivans, cargo vans) and light trucks, as well as key automobile parts (engines, transmissions, powertrain parts, and electrical components), with processes to expand tariffs on additional parts if necessary.”
• So this will have a huge impact on cars made in the USA as well. Prices are going way up no matter where the country of origin is for a new vehicle, and sales will tank as a result.
• And tariffs — I’ll remind you — are just taxes on you, the American consumer. As they continue, it’s likely they will tip the country into a recession.
• And Dump literally got elected on a platform of bringing high prices and cost of living down on the first day of his presidency, but they remain stubbornly high, with potentially more economic pain in coming days as more tariffs take effect.
• Moving on.
• In previous years, the fact that today — Monday March 31 — is the international Transgender Day of Visibility (TDOV) was a top headline.
• I had to dig up the info today, because it’s not being covered as a main topic by any major media source.
• Transgender Day of Visibility honors transgender, nonbinary, and gender-expansive people while drawing attention to the high levels of poverty, discrimination, and violence the community faces globally.
• And of course, this year’s TDOV follows Dump’s recent executive orders that restrict the rights of transgender Americans — impacting their ability to serve in the military, participate in school sports, and obtain government documentation, including passports that reflect their gender identity.
• Instead of complaining about how things are today, instead let’s take a look at the achievements of trans people in recent years.
• In 2014, Laverne Cox in 2014 became the first transgender person to be nominated for an Emmy in an acting category.
• Elliot Page in 2021 became the first trans man to appear on the cover of Time magazine.
• In 2022, Michaela Jaé Rodriguez became the first trans woman to win a Golden Globe.
• And in November 2024, Rep. Sarah McBride (D-DE) was the first transgender person elected to Congress.
• Congratulations to these folks, who had to fight harder and against many more obstacles to achieve success in their respective fields than any cisgender person did.
• Let’s move over to the International Desk for some good news.
• French far-right figurehead Marine Le Pen has been banned from running for political office for five years after being found guilty of embezzling European Union funds.
• Le Pen was planning on becoming France’s president in 2027. Now? Not.
• A Paris court also handed Le Pen a four-year prison sentence with two years suspended, to be served under house arrest, and a $108,000 fine. She will file an appeal.
• Her far-right wing party, National Rally (RN), was ordered to pay €2 million in fines for the €4.1 million that it was accused of embezzling.
• As we say in the land of the free and the home of the brave, fais un peu chier et découvre, Marine.
• Let’s move on.
• Republicans are scared to death over something that, in normal times, wouldn’t even be even a low-level concern.
• They’re pulling out all the stops ahead of tomorrow's special election in Florida’s 6th Congressional District, as worries of a narrower-than-expected margin grow in the district that Dumpy won by more than 30 points in November. 
• 30 fucking points! So surely this must be a very easy victory for the GOP candidate, right?
• They’re so scared that the Dumpster himself called into two tele-town halls for state Sen. Randy Fine (R) in an effort to drive out the Republican base ahead of Tuesday.
• President Musk’s America PAC spent roughly $10,200 in the race earlier this week and dropped another $66,000 into the race on Thursday. 
• Why? Well, Democratic candidate Josh Weil has outraised Fine, while an internal poll from the Republican firm Fabrizio Ward showed Weil holding a 3 point lead over Fine. 
• Let’s be clear: there’s no way Weil is actually winning this. But losing by any less than 20 points would be a huge alarm bell for the national Republican party.
• Dumpy acknowledged his concerns over the small House majority when he pulled Rep. Elise Stefanik’s (R-NY) nomination to be U.S. ambassador to the United Nations, writing that “we don’t want to take any chances.” 
• Too late, fuckhead.
• So, that’s tomorrow, and you bet your ass we’ll be checking election returns as they come in.
• In other news…
• Today, the Supreme Court will consider whether nonprofits affiliated with the Catholic Church are eligible for tax exemptions in a case that has implications for other religiously connected organizations and the nation’s system for supporting laid-off workers.
• Interesting.
• Catholic Charities, which operates several social services nonprofits, is asking the justices to reverse a Wisconsin state court ruling that denied the group the tax exemptions that the Catholic Church and other religious institutions receive.
• The court’s decision will almost certainly reach beyond Wisconsin and affect how other states and the federal government apply similar exemptions, including for hundreds of thousands of health-care workers at Catholic-affiliated hospitals.
• The religious rights case is one of several before the justices this term testing whether the government must accommodate religion.
• What’s the issue? Well, because the nonprofit serves people of all faiths and does not proselytize, the Wisconsin Supreme Court concluded it is not “operated primarily for religious purposes” and therefore is not exempt from paying unemployment taxes.
• Seems about right.
• But Catholic Charities appealed to the Supreme Court, saying the First Amendment prevents the state government from meddling in church decisions about how to structure its service entities.
• Or maybe they just don’t want to pay into the unemployment system. And it’s a bigger deal than you’d think; at least 1.2 million workers are employed by at least 140,000 religiously affiliated employers.
• Moving back to that asshole who tries to run our country from a golf motel in Florida.
• Less than 24 hours after pretending to be mad at Vladimir Putin, Dumpy has now accused Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy of “trying to back out” of the minerals deal expected to be agreed between the two countries as early as this week.
• And then Dump threatened Ukraine and Zelenskyy, saying he would face “big problems” if he didn’t sign an agreement. But Ukraine has highlighted that the conditions of the deal changed significantly in recent days.
• You know what? Fuck Donald Trump. Fuck him and his imperialism and colonialism and fascism and assholism and racism and every other ism that pumps through his frail, elderly veins.
• One more story…
• The abrupt cancellation of government funding for programs to help food banks distribute healthy, local food is being felt across the country.
• There’s going to be a lot of hungry people out there in the coming weeks and months.
• Earlier this month, the U.S. Department of Agriculture said it was cutting more than $1 billion in funding for the Local Food for Schools Cooperative Agreement and the Local Food Purchase Assistance Cooperative Agreement programs for 2025.
• The money was designed to pay farmers to provide food to schools and food banks, giving a boost to local producers while giving fresh options to children and communities.
• Then, food banks were hit with another blow when they were informed that scheduled deliveries of food through the USDA's Emergency Food Assistance Program were being halted or cut back.
• If you are a person affected by poverty who still supports Donnie Dump, please ask yourself why… especially while you tell your kids there’s nothing to have for dinner tonight.
• Fucking disgusting.
• And now, The Weather: “In Too Deep” by Soft Porn
• From the Sports Desk… Men’s March Madness has a Final Four.
• Next Saturday, 1-seed Auburn will play 1-seed Florida, and 1-seed Duke will match. up with 1-seed Houston. So much for upsets.
• Back in the world of pro sports, we can’t tell you for sure who will be in the NBA and NHL playoffs.
• But we can tell you who won’t. Here are the teams who are already eliminated from playoff contention.
• NBA: Nets, 76ers, Hornets, Wizards, Pelicans, and Jazz.
• NHL: Kraken, Predators, Blackhawks, and Sharks. Oddly enough, not a single Eastern Conference team in the NHL is mathematically out yet with less than 10 games to go in the regular season.
• Today in history… Queen Isabella of Castile issues the Alhambra Decree, ordering her 150,000 Jewish and Muslim subjects to convert to Christianity or face expulsion (1492). Ferdinand Magellan and fifty of his men came ashore to present-day Limasawa to participate in the first Catholic mass in the Philippines (1521). The Long Parliament presents the Humble Petition and Advice offering Oliver Cromwell the British throne, which he eventually declines (1657). The Kingdom of Great Britain orders the port of Boston, Massachusetts closed pursuant to the Boston Port Act (1774). The Eiffel Tower is officially opened (1889). The Vienna Concert Society rioted during a performance of modernist music by Arnold Schoenberg, Alban Berg, Alexander von Zemlinsky, and Anton von Webern, causing a premature end to the concert due to violence (1913). Daylight saving time goes into effect in the United States for the first time (1918). The Motion Picture Production Code is instituted, imposing strict guidelines on the treatment of sex, crime, religion and violence in film, in the U.S., for the next thirty-eight years (1930). The Dominion of Newfoundland joins the Canadian Confederation and becomes the 10th Province of Canada (1949). Remington Rand delivers the first UNIVAC I computer to the United States Census Bureau (1951). The Soviet Union launches Luna 10 which later becomes the first space probe to enter orbit around the Moon (1966). Selena is murdered by her fan club president Yolanda Saldívar at a Days Inn in Corpus Christi, TX (1995). Netscape releases Mozilla source code under an open source license (1998). Start of the 2018 Armenian revolution (2018).
• March 31 is the birthday of mathematician/philosopher René Descartes (1596), composer Johann Sebastian Bach (1985), composer Joseph Haydn (1732), writer Mary Abigail Dodge (1833), businessman Alfred E. Hunt (1855), boxer Jack Johnson (1878), poet Octavio Paz (1914), labor union leader/activist Cesar Chavez (1927), NHL player Gordie Howe (1928), fashion designer Liz Claiborne (1929), actress Shirley Jones (1934), songwriter/producer Herb Alpert (1935), politician Barney Frank (1940), guitarist Hugh McCracken (1942), actor Christopher Walken (1943), guitarist/songwriter Mick Ralphs (1944), actor Gabe Kaplan (1945), US vice president Al Gore (1948), actress Rhea Perlman (1948), guitarist/songwriter Angus Young (1955), NBA player Steve Smith (1969), NHL player Pavel Bure (1971), actor Ewan McGregor (1971), and comedian/musician Kate Micucci (1980).

Whew, okay. That was a lot of news. Check in the comments below for a link to the Hands Off protest movement. More on that as the week progresses. Enjoy your day.

Random News: March 30, 2025

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s March 30, 2025, and it’s a Sunday. It’s been a very quiet morning thus far; the nearly inaudible sound of the light rain falling, along with the mish-mash of my typing on my computer keyboard is all I can hear at the moment, which is nice. I’m in my robe and have a hearty cup of Peet’s Sumatra, which is also nice.

• Let’s start today with few fun facts.
• Yesterday was Dumples the Clown’s 69th day in office. Dumpy played golf at his own little golf motel in Florida.
• Since his inauguration on January 20, it’s his 14th day of golf at that particular property and the 18th time be has played at one of his golf courses.
• So for a quarter of the days he’s been president in this term — a full 25% of the time — the fat old fuck has played golf.
• It’s bad enough that he’s not doing any fucking work.
• But the cost to taxpayers for moving Dumpy's motorcade equipment and security personnel around as well as the immense cost of flying Air Force 1 for each of his little golf trips, it adds up to $26,127,531.
• In just over two months. So he can fuck off on his little golf course.
• Let’s do some news.
• Yesterday, Dumples the Weak made his clearest commitment to not fire anyone over an embarrassing accidental leak of his administration’s plans for an airstrike against the Houthis in Yemen.
• “I don’t fire people because of fake news and because of witch hunts,” he said, trying to draw attention away from the very real, provable lapse in national security that’s one of the worst in U.S. history.
• Dumpy also said that he had confidence in Mike Waltz, his national security adviser, and Pete Hegseth, his Pentagon chief. Funny how he’s completely alone in this outlook.
• Asked if there were conversations about firing Waltz, Dump insisted, “I’ve never heard that. And nobody else makes that decision but me, and I’ve never heard it.”
• Awww. Li’l Don still thinks he’s the one making decisions. That’s adorable. It’s like when your toddler has a plastic steering wheel and thinks they’re operating the vehicle.
• In other news…
• Another student has been grabbed by U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement for dubious reasons, this time at the University of Minnesota.
• The graduate student at the University of Minnesota was detained by ICE this week at an off-campus residence.
• The school called the situation “deeply concerning,” and said it did not have further information or any prior knowledge that the detention was happening.
• They did not release the student’s name. The student’s nationality, visa type, and status were unavailable. Neither ICE nor the Department of Homeland Security responded to requests for comment last night.
• Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz said he had been in touch with DHS to get information, and added that he would share more when he could. “The University of Minnesota is an international destination for education and research. We have any number of students studying here with visas, and we need answers,” he said.
• Indeed we do. If there is a God, someday we will be watching the trials of every single person involved in these illegal and unAmerican, unconstitutional actions.
• Let’s move on.
• Hundreds of “Tesla Takedown” demonstrations took place yesterday in the United States, Canada, and Europe as activists ramp up their opposition to President Musk’s efforts to slash federal government staffing and budgets.
• Musk, as you know, has aggressively pushed policies to reduce spending as the head of the so-called Department of Government Efficiency, but has instead gutted our country’s ability to serve its people while repeatedly misleading the public about federal spending.
• The campaign wants people to sell their Tesla vehicles and their shares of Tesla stock as a way to denounce Musk, the world’s richest man, whose wealth is overwhelmingly linked to his Tesla holdings.
• Some who participated did show in solidarity and support with the hundreds of thousands of federal workers who’ve been dismissed form essential jobs.
• Protestor James Decherd said, “I’m just afraid for what kind of country this is going to be after these cuts. The whole country is at risk of becoming a dystopian hellscape. I don’t know what’s going to happen.”
• Seems about right.
• What’s the next step for President Musk? It seems to be privatization of nearly all government services and functions from mail delivery to foreign aid.
• Musk’s DOGE Service is attempting to shift all of your tax money to the private sector, reducing the size and power of the federal bureaucracy and giving more and more power and money to billionaires like himself.
• At the DOGE-allied General Services Administration, officials are quietly moving ahead with a push to sell hundreds of publicly owned buildings to private companies — which can then lease them back to the government.
• Private firms are currently preparing for a piecemeal government effort to outsource mail and package handling and long-haul trucking routes, while dumping the leases for post offices.
• At the Interior Department, pressured by Musk and Dump, Secretary Doug Burgum has proposed allowing private developers to build on federal lands across the West.
• Look we told you about all this, and more, well in advance of a bunch of people choosing to vote for Dumpy last November. Now they get what they voted for.
• And the rest of us — the strong people who don’t allow ourselves to get bullied and used — need to step up and fight. There’s still time.
• Because it’s only going to get worse from here. As someone once said, you ain’t seen nothing yet. And I mean that in the worst conceivable ways.
• Moving on.
• Dumpy is seemingly becoming aware that he’s being played with like a toy by Russian President Vladimir Putin. I know, took him awhile, right?
• This morning, Dump claimed that he is “very angry, pissed off” at remarks Putin made Friday about Ukraine President Volodymyr Zelenskyy, suggesting he is not a legitimate leader. He also said that any peace agreement signed onto by Ukraine’s government could receive pushback.
• What did Angry Dump do? He went to the only took in his toolkit, threatening to slap a new tariff on Russia if it is at fault for stalling an end “to bloodshed.”
• I doubt Dump will do anything at all. This seems like theater to me.
• Let’s move on.
• We have an important note from the Health Desk.
• The USA is still dealing with the aftermath of COVID-19 pandemic, with more and more long COVID cases emerging. Bird flu is a growing threat. Measles outbreaks have been occurring. Antibiotic-resistant organisms continue to spread in healthcare settings.
• The Department of Health and Human Services has one job, which is to protect the health of humans in the U.S. What’s their plan?
• Most recently, it’s to fire the entire staff of the U.S. government’s Office of Infectious Disease and HIV/AIDS Policy as part of the whole HHS downsizing and restructuring plan from Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.
• Thousands of jobs are also being slashed at the Food and Drug Administration, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, and at the National Institutes of Health.
• If I was a betting man with a macabre streak, I’d put big money on the outbreak of another pandemic sometime in the next few years that will make the last one seem like a walk in the park.
• But hey, MAGA, at least you got your… what did you get again? Oh yeah, nothing.
• Moving on.
• If there’s one thing that Dumpy and the GOP don’t have, it’s any semblance of a sense of humor.
• So it’s no surprise that, in a break with tradition, this year's White House Correspondents dinner will not include a featured comedian.
• The White House Correspondents' Association has canceled writer and comedian Amber Ruffin's scheduled appearance at the high-profile event.
• Previous entertainers at the event include Trevor Noah, Roy Wood Jr., Colin Jost, and many more. The annual White House dinner — generally a fun and lighthearted affair — has been going since 1921. U.S. presidents usually attend, though Dumpy the Sad Man chose not to during his first term in office.
• Why? Because he’s a big fucking pussy-ass bitch.
• And now, The Weather: “Mild To Moderate Pain” by Jadu Heart
• Rest in peace going out to actor Richard Chamberlain, who died last night at 90 (two days short of 91, to be specific).
• He was the handsome hero of the 1960s television series “Dr. Kildare” and then became king of the miniseries after starring in such shows as “Centennial” and “Shogun.”
• It wasn’t until 2003 that Chamberlain openly acknowledged that he was gay, but with his huge popularity in the ‘60s with teenage girls, it probably was an understandable career decision.
• From the Sports Desk… I will begrudgingly yet dutifully continue to cover the NCAA basketball tournaments.
• In the Men’s tourney, we will have a Final 4 tonight. Yesterday, 1-seed Florida beat 3-seed Texas Tech, while 1-seed Duke crushed 2-seed Alabama. Today, 1-seed Auburn takes on 2-seed Michigan State, and 1-seed Houston plays 2-seed Tennessee.
• In the Women’s March Madness, the Elite 8 is as follows…
• 1-seed UCLA vs. 3-seed LSU. 1-seed USC vs. 2-seed UConn. 1-seed South Carolina vs. 2-seed Duke. 1-seed Texas vs. 2-seed TCU. Those games are today and tomorrow.
• Today in history… The Florida Territory is created in the United States (1822). Ether anesthesia is used for the first time, in an operation by the American surgeon Dr. Crawford Long (1842). The Treaty of Paris is signed, ending the Crimean War (1856). Sir William Crookes announces his discovery of the element thallium (1861). Danish prince Wilhelm Georg is chosen as King George of Greece (1863). Alaska is purchased from Russia for $7.2 million by United States Secretary of State William H. Seward (1867). Texas is readmitted to the United States Congress following Reconstruction (1870). The Heinkel He 100 fighter sets a world airspeed record of 463 mph (1939). A riot breaks out in Austurvöllur square in Reykjavík when Iceland joins NATO (1949). U.S. President Ronald Reagan is shot in the chest outside a Washington, D.C., hotel by John Hinckley, Jr.; three others are wounded in the same incident (1981). SpaceX conducts the world's first reflight of an orbital class rocket (2017). Donald Trump becomes the first former United States president to be indicted by a grand jury (2023).
• March 30 is the birthday of painter/sculptor Francisco Goya (1746), author Anna Sewell (1820), poet Paul Verlaine (1844), painter Vincent van Gogh (1853), writer/philosopher/monk Chunseong (1891), diplomat Carl Lutz (1895), animator Marc Davis (1913), singer-songwriter/harmonica player Sonny Boy Williamson (1914), actor Richard Dysart (1929), singer-songwriter Rolf Harris (1930), actor Warren Beatty (1937), NBA player Jerry Lucas (1940), singer-songwriter/guitarist Eric Clapton (1945), model Naomi Sims (1949), actor Robbie Coltrane (1950), actor Paul Reiser (1956), rapper MC Hammer (1962), singer-songwriter Tracy Chapman (1964), singer-songwriter Celine Dion (1968), singer-songwriter/pianist Norah Jones (1979), NFL player Richard Sherman (1988), MLB player Chris Sale (1989), and MLB player Alex Bregman (1994).

That’s plenty. Keep doing all you do. I believe in you. Enjoy your day.

Random News: March 29, 2025

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s March 29, 2025, and it’s a Saturday. I’m enjoying a slow morning in my bathrobe, sipping my second cup of Peet’s Brazil. It’s really a drastic difference when I write this stuff on the weekends, compared to my anxiously looking at the time on a weekday while knowing I have to keep a tight schedule. Monday through Friday, at 7:58am, I have to have this thing posted so I have time to work out and then get ready to be a productive worker drone. But not on weekends. It’s kinda nice. I can just sit here and lazily write words like these, not really caring how long it takes, or how bored you are reading this preamble while waiting for me to start offering anything of value. Ahhhh.

• That being said, I still impose a 10am deadline on weekends so I can get this done and get on to other weekend activities. The world doesn’t end if I’m not on schedule, but as I often say… ain’t no one got time for this shit.
• Let’s do some news.
• A fascinating report by respected German news website Der Spiegel yesterday, in the wake of Signalgate.
• The situation with our inexperienced and inept national security leadership is much worse than you realize.
• Der Spiegel reporters were able to find mobile phone numbers, email addresses, and even some passwords belonging to the top officials.
• They simply used commercial people search engines along with hacked customer data that has been published on the web. Specifically, they easily dug up this info on National Security Adviser Mike Waltz, Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard, and Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth.
• Making matters worse, this wasn’t old info. Most of these numbers and email addresses are apparently still in use, with some of them linked to profiles on social media platforms like Instagram and LinkedIn.
• And if it was that easy for reporters, you can’t imagine what a gift it is to hostile intelligence services, who could use this publicly available data to hack the communications of those affected by installing spyware on their devices.
• And in fact, the reporters determined that publicly accessible telephone numbers belonging to Gabbard and Waltz are, indeed, those that are linked to Signal accounts. Waltz’s information also led to his profiles for Microsoft Teams, LinkedIn, WhatsApp, and more.
• Hegseth’s phone, email address and, in some cases, even the password associated with it, could be found in over 20 publicly accessible leaks. Using publicly available information, it was possible to verify that the email address was used just a few days ago.
• Fucking hell.
• Can you imagine what Fox News would be saying if this was happening in a Democratic administration? These people are the absolute worst.
• Moving on.
• Yesterday, Dumples the Racist Clown asked the Supreme Court to lift lower court orders blocking deportations of alleged Venezuelan gang members under the wartime Alien Enemies Act with no due process.
• We knew that was coming after federal judges and courts of appeals all found it completely unconstitutional.
• The court has asked the individuals challenging Trump’s use of the Alien Enemies Act to respond to Dump’s emergency request by Tuesday.
• Side note: this request for emergency relief from the Supreme Court is now the sixth made by the Justice Department. Three others are still awaiting action by the justices.
• Let’s move on… sort of.
• Yesterday, U.S. District Judge Amy Berman Jackson agreed to block Dumpy from dismantling the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, an agency that was targeted for mass firings before the court’s intervention.
• She issued a preliminary injunction that maintains the agency’s existence until she rules on the merits of a lawsuit seeking to preserve the agency. The judge said the court “can and must act” to save the agency from being shuttered.
• This is the agency that Congress created in the wake of the 2008 financial crisis to protect Americans’ financial security. Dump wants it shut down so his wealthy friends can more easily commit fraudulent business practices against Americans.
• Let’s keep moving on… sort of.
• Yesterday, Judge James Paul Oetken halted the Trump administration’s efforts to dismantle Voice of America, the eight-decade-old U.S. government-funded international news service. He called the move a “classic case of arbitrary and capricious decision making.”
• I agree.
• Oetken blocked the U.S. Agency for Global Media, which runs Voice of America, from firing more than 1,200 journalists, engineers, and other staff that it sidelined two weeks ago in the wake of President Musk and his sidekick Donnie ordering its funding slashed.
• His order also bars the agency from terminating grant funding for its other broadcast outlets, including Radio Free Europe/Radio Liberty, Radio Free Asia, and Radio Free Afghanistan.
• At the hearing, Oetken faulted the Trump administration for “taking a sledgehammer to an agency that has been statutorily authorized and funded by Congress.”
• Okay, now we’re really moving on.
• But be aware: people across the country at many different levels are successfully stopping this wannabe fascist piece of shit.
• He will never achieve his goals. He will be angrier and more frustrated at each passing defeat. And I will have my popcorn out watching every moment of his downfall.
• Meanwhile…
• President Musk is 100% definitely up to some fuckery.
• He announced last night that he’s sold his social media company, X (formerly known as Twitter), to… himself.
• Or rather to xAI, his artificial intelligence company. xAI will pay $45 billion for X, slightly more than Musk paid for it in 2022, but the new deal includes $12 billion of debt, giving X (according to its owner) a valuation of $33 billion.
• I know there’s some absolute sleaze going on here. I mean, what… he got a bunch of people to invest in his shitty AI company, then used that money to pay himself to alleviate some of the massive hole he dug himself by overpaying so much for Twitter?
• And since both companies are privately held, they are not required to disclose their finances to the public. So who even knows what’s going on? I’m glad I don’t have a penny invested in any of his bullshit companies.
• Let’s move on.
• I haven’t said shit about this whole Greenland thing in awhile, and it’s so embarrassing for the USA that I hardly want to now.
• But I did giggle over this.
• In advance of the visit by Second lady Usha Vance, officials were traveling around the Danish-controlled territory looking for locals who wanted to receive a visit.
• Greenlanders’ response? No thanks.
• Even the company who’d initially said they would host Usha pulled out.
• “After closer consideration, however, we have now informed the consulate that we do not want her visit, as we cannot accept the underlying agenda and will not be part of the press show that, quite, of course, comes with it. No thanks to nice visit… Greenland belongs to the Greenlanders," the company said.
• Ha.
• It probably didn’t help that her husband, Jiminy Dicklet Vance, decided to accompany her there.
• He said, “There was so much excitement around Usha’s visit to Greenland this Friday, that I decided that I didn’t want her to have all that fun by herself, and so I’m going to join her.”
• HAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh Lordy Jesus.
• Some news from the Health Desk. Seems like we’ve had a lot of those lately.
• As of yesterday, at least five states have active measles outbreaks, and Texas’ is the largest with 400 cases.
• Already, the U.S. has more measles cases this year than in all of 2024, the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has said. Other states with outbreaks — defined as three or more cases — include New Mexico, Kansas, Ohio and Oklahoma. Since February, two unvaccinated people have died from measles-related causes.
• The new outbreaks confirm health experts’ fears that the virus will take hold in other U.S. communities with low vaccination rates and that the spread could stretch on for a year or more.
• Measles is highly contagious, but is fully preventable through vaccines, and until Dump came back into office with his gross disease bag people like RFK Jr., it had been considered eliminated from the U.S. since 2000.
• Moving on.
• This week, Utah became the first state to prohibit flying LGBTQ+ pride flags at schools and all government buildings. Their Republican governor announced he was allowing a ban on unsanctioned flag displays to become law without his signature.
• Starting May 7, state or local government buildings will be fined $500 a day for flying any flag other than the United States flag, the Utah state flag, military flags, or a short list of others approved by lawmakers.
• City buildings in liberal Salt Lake City typically honor Pride Month each June by displaying flags that celebrate its large LGBTQ+ population. Local leaders have illuminated the Salt Lake City and County Building in rainbow lights to protest the flag ban each night since the Legislature sent it to Cox’s desk.
• That’s not going to end well.
• Moving on to a free speech story.
• The leader of a small group of self-described satanists and three other people were arrested yesterday following a scuffle inside the Kansas Statehouse arising from an effort by the group’s leader to start a Black Mass in the rotunda.
• What’s really at issue here: the separation of church and state that’s being one of the primary guiding principles of the USA since our foundation.
• The Satanic Grotto’s rally outside drew hundreds of Christian counter-protesters because of the Grotto’s satanic imagery. About 100 Christians stood against yellow police tape marking the Satanic Grotto’s area.
• The two groups yelled at each other while the Christians also sang and called on Grotto members to accept Jesus. Snort.
• When group leader Michael Stewart tried to conduct his group’s ceremony in the first-floor rotunda, a young man tried to snatch Stewart’s script from his hands, and Stewart punched him.
• Then several Kansas Highway Patrol troopers wrestled Stewart to the ground and handcuffed him. They led him through hallways on the ground floor below and into a room as he yelled, “Hail, Satan!”
• Hee hee hee hee.
• Well people, hate to break the news to you, but saying, “Hail Satan” is no more illegal than saying, “Praise Jesus.”
• I should note that Marcus Schroeder, the 21-year-old who accosted Stewart, was also arrested on suspicion of disorderly conduct, with his bond also set at $1,000.
• Good.
• And now, The Weather: “Honey Water” by Japanese Breakfast
• Let’s do a chart.
• It’s this week 35 years ago in 1990. Don’t get me started on the fact that 1990 was 35 years ago. Hell, a person born in 2004 can now go drink in a bar.
• What was I doing in spring 1990? Going to college at Cal State Dominguez Hills, and working at a Sunglass Hut in a mall.
• At that Sunglasses Hut, I met the young woman who I would date, marry, have a child with, and eventually divorce. Such is life. Still got the kid out of it, though. He’s 25 and playing video games down the hall from me at the moment. So that Sunglasses Hut was of importance in its own way.
• 1. Love Will Lead You Back (Taylor Dayne). 2. I'll Be Your Everything (Tommy Page). 3. All Around The World (Lisa Stansfield). 4. I Wish It Would Rain Down (Phil Collins). 5. Black Velvet (Alannah Myles). 6. Don't Wanna Fall In Love (Jane Child). 7. Get Up! (Before The Night Is Over) (Technotronic). 8. Here And Now (Luther Vandross). 9. Nothing Compares 2 U (Sinead O’Connor). 10. Forever (KISS). 11. I Wanna Be Rich (Calloway). 12. All My Life (Linda Ronstadt Featuring Aaron Neville). 13. Whole Wide World (From "True Love") (A'me Lorain). 14. Escapade  (Janet Jackson). 15. How Can We Be Lovers (Michael Bolton). 16. Without You (Motley Crue). 17. Keep It Together (Madonna). 18. Whip Appeal (Babyface). 19. Heartbeat (Seduction). 20. Roam (The B-52s).
• From the Sports Desk… March Madness continues with the Elite 8 Round. Here’s who’s left.
• 1-seed Auburn vs 2-seed Michigan State. 1-seed Florida vs. 3-seed Texas Tech. 1-seed Duke vs. 2-seed Alabama. 1-seed Houston vs. 2-seed Tennessee.
• Two of those games are today, the other two tomorrow. The final four and the championship games are next weekend.
• Today in history… Construction is authorized of the Great National Pike, better known as the Cumberland Road, becoming the first United States federal highway (1806). United States forces in the Mexican-American War led by General Winfield Scott take Veracruz after a siege (1847). The United Kingdom annexes the Punjab (1849). Queen Victoria gives Royal Assent to the British North America Act which establishes Canada on July 1 (1867). Royal Albert Hall is opened by Queen Victoria (1871). Julius and Ethel Rosenberg are convicted of conspiracy to commit espionage (1951). The Twenty-third Amendment to the United States Constitution is ratified, allowing residents of Washington, D.C., to vote in presidential elections (1961). Lieutenant William Calley is convicted of premeditated murder in the My Lai Massacre and sentenced to life in prison (1971). NASA's Mariner 10 becomes the first space probe to fly by Mercury (1974). The Baltimore Colts load its possessions onto fifteen Mayflower moving trucks in the early morning hours and transfer its operations to Indianapolis (1984). The Dow Jones Industrial Average closes above the 10,000 mark for the first time, during the height of the dot-com bubble (1999). Bulgaria, Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, Romania, Slovakia, and Slovenia join NATO as full members (2004). The first same-sex marriages in England and Wales are performed (2014). Prime Minister Theresa May invokes Article 50 of the Treaty on European Union, formally beginning the United Kingdom's withdrawal from the European Union (2017).
• March 29 is the birthday of biologist/physician Santorio Santorio (1561), US president John Tyler (1790), engineer/inventor Elihu Thomson (1853), MLB player/manager Cy Young (1867), US first lady Lou Henry Hoover (1874), actress/singer Pearl Bailey (1918), businessman Sam Walton (1918), UK prime minister John Major (1943), saxophonist Michael Brecker (1949), NFL player Earl Campbell (1955), actress Marina Sirtis (1955), MLB player/manager Billy Beane (1962), politician Catherine Cortez Masto (1964), actress Lucy Lawless (1968), politician Ted Lieu (1969), and tennis player Jennifer Capriati (1976).

And here I am, wrapping up my news right on time. Now for a shower, and the wearing of clothes, and then the weekend chores that I don’t want to do but eventually will anyway. Enjoy your day.

Random News: March 28, 2025

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s March 28, 2025, and if you can believe it, it’s a Friday once again! It’s been a jam-packed week, both in terms of important news and my level of work craziness, so the approaching weekend is very much welcomed.

• I thought we could start this fine day with a little vocabulary and history lesson.
• In rhetoric, parrhesia is the act of speaking freely. It implies not only freedom of speech, but the obligation to speak the truth for the common good, even at personal risk.
• In the Classical period of ancient Greece, parrhesia was a fundamental component of the Athenian democracy. In the courts or the assembly of citizens, Athenians were free to say almost anything.
• I should not that much like today, saying certain things in the street back then could get you punched in the nose.
• Playwrights such as Aristophanes made full use of their right to ridicule whomever they chose.
• And that has evolved over the centuries to a concept called "speaking truth to power.” It’s a non-violent political tactic, employed by dissidents against the propaganda of governments they regard as oppressive, authoritarian, or an ideocracy.
• Effective users of truth to power in the hopes of a more just and truthful world have included the Hebrew Prophets, Vaclav Havel, Nelson Mandela, Mahatma Gandhi, the Dalai Lama, and many others.
• When I talk to you here, I do it with the awareness that these posts are public.
• That anyone could get offended by what I report, and how I’m almost certainly on someone’s shit list as a result.
• And that I could — especially in the fascist world I’m trying to prevent — face personal risk merely as a result of keeping people informed.
• Is it worth it? Fuck yes it is. I would never want to live a life where I fear dispensing truth, or where my values are dictated by the world’s most evil people.
• So yes, this Random News report is chock full of parrhesia, and I have no intention of changing. Ever.
• Let’s do some news.
• Starting unfortunately with a natural disaster. A massive earthquake rocked Myanmar and neighboring Thailand today.
• The 7.7 magnitude quake, with an epicenter near Mandalay, Myanmar ‘s second largest city, struck at midday and was followed by a strong 6.4 magnitude aftershock.
• We don’t yet know the full extent of the deaths and damage, but it’s going to be a lot.
• And since Myanmar is embroiled in a civil war, it’s going to make it all the more difficult to provide aid to those affected.
• Send them some good thoughts, please.
• Back in the USA…
• Yesterday, U.S. District Judge James Boasberg ordered the Dump administration to preserve records of a text message chat in which senior national security officials discussed sensitive details of plans for a U.S. military strike against Yemen’s Houthis.
• Over a consumer app called Signal. With journalists accidentally added to the confidential war planning session.
• Boasberg barred administration officials from destroying messages that were sent over the messaging app last weekend.
• A nonprofit watchdog, American Oversight, requested the order. A government attorney said the administration already was taking steps to collect and save the messages.
• Surrrrre Jan.
• As you’re aware, the Atlantic published the entire Signal chat on Wednesday. Its editor-in-chief, Jeffrey Goldberg, had been added to a discussion that included Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, national security adviser Michael Waltz, Secretary of State Marco Rubio, Vice President JD Vance, and Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard.
• Why? Because they suck and they’re stupid.
• Two questions that have already been debated — and will come up a lot more during the Signalgate investigation — is, “What is ‘classified’ information?” and “What are ‘secure’ communications?”
• Let’s be clear: things are only classified if the government says they are — or are not.
• But even if the information sent in the text group had been declassified by the Pentagon, it contained details that would have been highly valuable to the Houthis or other adversaries, showing how sometimes the decision of what to classify is a judgment call.
• The federal government routinely classifies vast amounts of information pertaining to military and intelligence operations.
• While the public typically calls any information withheld by the government “classified,” that term only refers to the three broad categories used to “classify” information based on the need for secrecy: confidential, secret, and top secret.
• The Pentagon hasn’t offered classification details about the information in the Signal chats.
• But any information about upcoming military strikes is typically tightly guarded to ensure adversaries don’t have advance warning that could jeopardize the mission, or put American service members at risk.
• And the Signal chat did just that, listing precise times and locations of attack plans.
• Sen. Mark Kelly (D-AZ) noted that Department of Defense policy “prohibits discussion of even what is called controlled unclassified information on unsecured devices,” and asked if Ratcliffe and Gabbard, who oversees the nation’s 18 intelligence agencies, were aware of that rule.
• “I haven’t read that policy,” Gabbard said.
• “I’m not familiar with the DOD policy,” Ratcliffe said.
• And I will add that being ignorant of the law is never an acceptable excuse for breaking it. One or more of the people involved in this clusterfuck need to resign — and frankly, to be consistent with previous similar instances, some should face prison terms.
• I’m looking at Michael Waltz.
• Yesterday, the bipartisan leaders of the Senate Armed Services Committee requested an inspector general investigation into Signalgate.
• “This reporting raises questions as to the use of unclassified networks to discuss sensitive and classified information, as well as the sharing of such information with those who do not have proper clearance and need to know,” the committee leaders wrote.
• They are proposing six areas of inquiry, including the “facts and circumstances” around the incident and whether the administration officials followed Defense Department policies on classified information and communication over “nongovernment networks and electronic applications.”
• Will there be any accountability? My guess is no, but I want this story to remain front and center so people know how inept their political leaders are… and how they’re putting the lives of American military in peril with their carelessness.
• Moving on (for now).
• Dumpy has yanked Elise Stefanik’s nomination to be U.S. ambassador to the United Nations. Ha ha!
• The reason that he offered is actually semi-legit: he’s afraid that her House seat will be taken by a Democrat.
• The abrupt withdrawal reflects growing concern among House Republicans, led by Speaker Mike Johnson, that their historically slim majority could be at risk, particularly ahead of two special elections in Florida next week.
• The loss of a few seats could swing the House majority to Democrats and derail Team Fascist’s efforts to enact Dump’s sweeping agenda in the months ahead.
• This is the second withdrawal — forced or otherwise — of a Dump cabinet nominee. The first, of course, was child rapist and former Congressman Matt Gaetz (R-FL), who was Dumpy’s first pick for Attorney General.
• How bad are things looking for Republican candidates out there?
• This coming Tuesday, there’s an election in Florida’s deep-red 6th Congressional District that under every normal circumstance would be an easy win for the GOP.
• Republican state Sen. Randy Fine should win by a huge margin. I’d note that he likely will win.
• But Democrat Josh Weil, a teacher, has outraised Fine nearly 10-to-1, running a much more aggressive campaign that ties Fine to the Elon Musk-run Department of Government Efficiency and potential cuts to Medicaid and Social Security.
• Smart.
• Anything short of a 20-point margin of victory for Fine and the GOP in one of the most conservative districts of the country will be seen as a death knell for Republicans across the nation.
• We’ll be watching.
• Let’s move on.
• Yesterday, a New York state court blocked a Texas court from enforcing a fine of more than $100,000 against a New York doctor accused of prescribing abortion pills to a woman in Texas, escalating the battle over abortion regulation among states.
• The refusal marks a major test of shield laws — a protection that at least 18 states and the District of Columbia have enacted to protect doctors who provide telehealth abortion care across state lines after the overturning of Roe v. Wade.
• Where’s this going to end up? The Supreme Court, of course. This is why we had — for about 50 years — a law of the land so that states didn’t have to face off with conflicting laws.
• It’s impossible to know how this will turn out. Stay tuned.
• Moving on.
• Li’l Marco Rubio, the Secretary of State, said yesterday that the State Department has revoked 300 or more student visas of otherwise legal residents of the USA.
• Their crime that requires immediate deportation? Peaceful activism.
• As we’ve mentioned here, around the country, scholars have been picked up, in some cases by masked immigration agents, and held in detention centers, sometimes a thousand miles from their homes with little warning and often with few details about why they were being detained.
• L’il Marco doesn’t like the ability to protest that is guaranteed by our Constitution. “It might be more than 300 at this point. We do it every day. Every time I find one of these lunatics, I take away their visas,” he said.
• We used to go out of our way to encourage the world’s best and brightest scholars to study here and add their contributions to our nation.
• Now we not only push them away; we arrest them for taking part in the fundamental American right to free speech and to assemble.
• In other news…
• Donnie Dump pisses me off pretty often — okay, always — but now he’s fucking with the Smithsonian Institution, and this will not stand, man.
• Yesterday, Dumples the No-Culture Clown revealed his intention to force changes at the Smithsonian with an executive order that targets funding for programs that advance “divisive narratives” and “improper ideology.”
• Suck my fucking dick, Don. Is that improper? Suck it some more, you fat orange fuck.
• The order he signed behind closed doors puts Vice President Jedediah Deliverance Vance, who serves on the Smithsonian Institution’s Board of Regents, in charge of overseeing efforts to “remove improper ideology” from all areas of the institution, including its museums, education and research centers, and the National Zoo.
• The EO also hints at the return of statues and monuments of Confederate figures, many of which were taken down or replaced around the country after the police killing of George Floyd in Minneapolis in 2020 and the rise of the Black Lives Matter movement, which is detested by Dump and other conservatives.
• Let’s face it: if you’re not white, male, and straight, Republicans hate you and will do anything in their power to erase you from history.
• And now, The Weather: “When I Close My Eyes” by SLEEP CLUB
• A funny note about Kendrick Lamar’s fantastic Super Bowl LIX halftime performance.
• It drew 125 FCC complaints, which — given its outspoken nature and the fact that it had 128 million worldwide television viewers and 3.65 billion views total — is way less than I’d have assumed.
• But the reasons for the complaints are what I found hilarious.
• “The halftime show was terrible with the language and gestures. My younger kids did not need to see and hear this!” noted one viewer from Lenox, IL.
• Um… there was no obscene language or gestures. Not one.
• “That was the worst halftime show that I have ever seen,” another viewer from Catawba, NC wrote to the FCC. “It was divisive, downgrading, and filled with profanity. It is absolutely not appropriate entertainment for all ages.”
• Um… again, there was no profanity. What are these people imagining they heard?
• “There wasn’t one white person in the whole show,” wrote one person from Ocean City, MD. 
• Ahhhh. Now I see the issue.
• "I felt discriminated against and why was Uncle Sam Black when Uncle Sam is white?” noted another complaint from Daytona Beach, FL. 
• There we go.
• From the Sports Desk… I was chastised by certain people yesterday for not having reported on Opening Day of Major League Baseball.
• I was just saving my report for the games actually having been played. Also, since my Dodgers were already 2-0 (having opened their season early), I found I gave less of a shit than had they been playing, you see.
• Opening Day winners: Yankees, Red Sox, Orioles, Guardians, White Sox, Astros, Mariners, Marlins, Phillies, Cardinals, Cubs, Dodgers, Giants, Padres.
• Opening Day losers: mostly everyone else.
• Today in history… Juan Bautista de Anza finds the site for the Presidio of San Francisco (1776). Heinrich Wilhelm Matthäus Olbers discovers 2 Pallas, the second asteroid ever to be discovered (1802). First concert of the Vienna Philharmonic Orchestra, conducted by Otto Nicolai (1842). France and Britain declare war on Russia in the Crimean War (1854). In the Battle of Glorieta Pass, Union forces stop the Confederate invasion of the New Mexico Territory (1862). Generalissimo Francisco Franco conquers Madrid after a three-year siege (1939). The United States Department of State releases the Acheson–Lilienthal Report, outlining a plan for the international control of nuclear power (1946). The US Supreme Court hands down 5–3 decision in Stump v. Sparkman, a controversial case involving involuntary sterilization and judicial immunity (1978). A coolant leak at the Three Mile Island's Unit 2 nuclear reactor outside Harrisburg, PA leads to the core overheating and a partial meltdown (1979). President George H. W. Bush posthumously awards Jesse Owens the Congressional Gold Medal (1990). 
• March 28 is the birthday of painter Fra Bartolomeo (1472), brewer Frederick Pabst (1836), novelist Maxim Gorky (1868), actress Beulah Dark Cloud (1887), politician Edmund Muskie (1914), scientist/engineer Paul C. Donnelly (1923), diplomat/political activist Zbigniew Brzezinski (1928), NBA player/coach Jerry Sloan (1942), actor Ken Howard (1944), Philippine president Rodrigo Duterte (1945), actress Dianne Wiest (1948), singer-songwriter Reba McEntire (1955), NBA player/coach Byron Scott (1961), actor Vince Vaughn (1970), NHL player Keith Tkachuk (1972), NBA player/coach Luke Walton (1980), singer-songwriter/actress Lady Gaga (1986), NFL player Derek Carr (1991), and MLB player Will Smith (1995).

I know that’s a lot of news, but things happen and I try not to leave things out just because other things happened on the same day. There’s too much important stuff going on to leave you in the dark. Wake up. Turn on the light. See what’s going on. Be aware and be better as a result. Enjoy your day.