Random News: October 31, 2023

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Ghoul morning, you little goblins. It’s October 31, 2023, and it’s a Tuesday, and it’s Halloween (lightning crackles, thunder booms). Mwa-ha-ha-ha! The world is a scary place, but I’m a ghost walking around in a fleshy body so nothing frightens me. Let’s do some news.

• A reminder that Election Day in the USA is in one week, on Tuesday November 7. This being an odd year, a lot places don’t have significant elections going on… but some places have extremely important elections happening.
• One of them is Ohio, where the main event on the ballot is Issue 1, a proposal that will codify the rights of Ohioan women to have control over their own reproductive choices in stead of handing that decision to the state.
• YES ON ISSUE 1. Spread the word, please.
• When questions about abortion have been put directly to voters in the months since the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade, voters overwhelmingly have signaled support for abortion access.
• Conservatives and others who want to force women to give birth were shocked when states like Kansas and Michigan enshrined choice into law. Now it’s Ohio’s turn, and the rest of the country will be watching very closely.
• Important note: while it’s too late to do anything about it, Ohio Secretary of State Frank LaRose purged more than 26,000 voters from voter rolls in September due to inactivity.
• LaRose hasn’t announced the canceled voter registrations yet, but his office’s website has an updated database of purged voters.
• Ohio voters who were purged from the rolls can re-register to vote on the Secretary of State website, but those who were removed in September and did not register before October 10 cannot vote in the November 7 election.
• Always ask yourself why Republicans are always trying to get less people to vote by repressing the vote in numbers ways, while Democrats always encourage more people to vote.
• Maybe there’s a reason for that.
• Moving on.
• An Illinois man has officially been with a a hate crime, in addition to murder and attempted murder, for having stabbed a little boy named Wadea Al-Fayoume to death for no other reason than his Muslim background. Wadea was six years old.
• Joseph Czuba, 71, was a landlord in Plainfield, IL, who attacked the child and his mother after she had urged him to "pray for peace” in regard to the Israel/Hamas war.
• I can only hope he’ll spend all of his remaining years in prison. It won’t bring the kid back, but at least he won’t be out stabbing other children due to the color of their skin or their country of origin.
• In other news of total assholes, meet John Anthony Miller of Nevada.
• The 43-year-old Las Vegas resident was arrested and charged with leaving threatening and antisemitic messages on the office voicemail of a U.S. senator. He also traveled to a federal courthouse in Las Vegas where the senator has an office.
• Miller left numerous menacing voicemails between October 17-19 for Democratic Sen. Jacky Rosen, who is Jewish. Among other things, Miller called the senator "vermin" and threatened to "finish what Hitler started."
• Here’s one of his messages… "You done picked your side bitch and you done chose evil. I don't give a fuck if you were born into it or not, bitch, you are fucking evil, bitch, and we're gonna exterminate you."
• Antisemitic incidents in the U.S. climbed 388% in the wake of the terrorist attacks earlier this month, compared to the same period last year.
• And in other very sad news from the Middle East conflict, the body of 23-year-old German-Israeli woman Shani Louk was found and identified. You likely know that when Hamas attacked the Nova music festival, Louk was kidnapped, presumably sexually assaulted and tortured, and paraded around Gaza by Hamas terrorists.
• If you’re looking for good guys in wars, well, there aren’t any. If you’re looking to take a side, you’re going to side with some good people and some bad people. No one wins wars. They are barbaric and anachronistic ways of solving problems.
• But humans have yet to evolve to the point where other options are prioritized.
• Moving on.
• Yesterday, House Republicans led by new Speaker Mike Johnson unveiled a proposal to pay for emergency aid for Israel’s war against Hamas… but only if there were cuts to IRS funds aimed at cracking down on rich tax cheats and improving taxpayer service.
• So, to be clear, the Republicans say that Israel can only be helped if rich people are allowed to cheat on their taxes.
• What the actual fuck? Who votes for these fucking people?
• Let’s move on.
• A trial that began yesterday argues that Donald John Trump should be disqualified from Colorado's ballot in next year's election because he incited a violent mob in Washington on January 6, 2021.
• A lawsuit brought by Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington is a test case for whether a provision of the U.S. Constitution that bars people who have engaged in "insurrection or rebellion" from holding federal office, can prevent Dumpy from being president again.
• Is it legit? Let’s see…
• 14th Amendment, Section 3 - Disqualification from Holding Office: No person shall be a Senator or Representative in Congress, or elector of President and Vice-President, or hold any office, civil or military, under the United States, or under any State, who, having previously taken an oath, as a member of Congress, or as an officer of the United States, or as a member of any State legislature, or as an executive or judicial officer of any State, to support the Constitution of the United States, shall have engaged in insurrection or rebellion against the same, or given aid or comfort to the enemies thereof. But Congress may by a vote of two-thirds of each House, remove such disability.
• The Dumpster spent weeks before the January 6 riot spreading false claims of widespread voter fraud in his November 2020 election loss to Democrat Joe Biden and encouraging his supporters to rally in Washington. He then encouraged them to march on the U.S. Capitol where Congress was certifying Biden's win. Only after hours of violence did he appeal to the rioters to go home.
• Colorado is regarded as safely Democratic, so regardless of whether Trump is on the ballot, President Biden is expected to win the state.
• Is this actually going to matter? Probably not. Most legal experts call the strategy a long shot.
• But Colorado District Court Judge Sarah Wallace has denied five separate bids by Dumples and his allies to dismiss the case, most recently on October 25.
• Moving on to another January 6 story.
• Yesterday, a physical altercation broke out during a hearing in the case of Vitali GossJankowski, a defendant convicted of several charges related to the January 6, 2021 failed coupe attempt.
• Judge Paul Friedman of the U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia ordered GossJankowski jailed for a series of recent doxxing threats targeting federal agents. Then the defendant, who is about 6’3” and looks like an NFL defensive end, freaked out and started fighting people and smashing shit.
• It took seven U.S. Marshals and FBI staff members to corral the big dumbass.
• GossJankowski was eventually removed from the court and taken to the D.C. jail. His sentencing date isn't set yet.
• Yikes.
• Moving on… to another asshole.
• Federal authorities have charged Arthur Ray Hanson II of Huntsville, AL with threatening two Fulton County law enforcement officials in connection with the investigation of accused criminal Donald John Trump.
• Hanson called the county’s customer service line on August 6 — a week before El Dumpo was indicted — and left a threatening and expletive-filled voicemail.
• “If you think you gonna take a mugshot of my President Donald Trump and it’s gonna be ok, you gonna find out that after you take that mugshot, some bad shit probably gonna happen to you.”
• Then he said, “I’m warning you right now before you fuck up your life and get hurt real bad,” “whether you got a fucking badge or not ain’t gonna help you none” and “you gonna get fucked up you keep fucking with my president.”
• Sounds pretty normal for a MAGA.
• Since it’s Halloween, let’s do some more news of frightening piece-of-shit humans.
• Ex-Republican state Sen. Ray Holmberg of North Dakota has been arrested and charged with traveling to Prague with the intent to rape a minor.
• He was also charged with one count of receiving and attempting to receive images depicting child sexual abuse. He was taken into custody on yesterday in Grand Forks.
• He’s 79, so again, you can only hope he dies in prison.
• Moving on.
• Today, the Supreme Court will hear oral arguments in the first two cases involving social media’s free speech, both of which ask whether public officials can constitutionally block their constituents on social media.
• One case centers on a city manager in Michigan who decided he would block someone posting what he called “creepy” smiley emoji’s on his Facebook page, amid criticism of the manager’s COVID-19 response.
• The central question is whether social media blocks should be considered “state action,” which makes them subject to the First Amendment. Interesting.
• And now, The Weather: “Nitelike” by R. Missing
• It’s supposed to be super cold in places like Chicago and around the Midwest today. Please dress your trick-or-treaters accordingly.
• It’s time for our annual list of most popular Halloween candy. This year the list is from Instacart, who tracked the top sellers by total weight sold for the past month.
• 1. Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups 2.Peanut M&M’s 3. Regular M&M’s 4. Tootsie Pops 5. Twizzlers 6. Hershey's Milk Chocolate 7. Sour Patch Kids 8. Candy Corn 9. KitKat 10. Starburst 
• Three newcomers on this year’s list compared to last: Tootsie Pops, Sour Patch Kids, and Candy Corn. Year round, the most popular candies vary by state. In California, it’s Red Vines. In Colorado, it’s Peanut M&M’s. In Florida, it’s Dum Dums.
• Stopping myself from saying anything snarky about Florida. Deep breath. Okay.
• From the Sports Desk… in Game 3 of the World Series last night, the Texas Rangers hung on for a 3-1 victory over the Arizona Diamondbacks. They lead the series 2-1, but injuries to both Max Scherzer and Adolis Garcia could leave them vulnerable in Game 4 tonight. 
• Also in Sports, the Las Vegas Raiders played embarrassingly badly against the Detroit Lions last night on Monday Night Football. In fact, the Lions didn’t even play that well and still beat the Raiders 26-14.
• From the kinda-Sports Desk… congrats to Magic Johnson, who became the fourth athlete in history to earn billionaire status. The other three are Michael Jordan, LeBron James, and Tiger Woods.
• Magic made a paltry $40 million playing in the NBA, but his wealth doesn't come from basketball. His career as a businessman is how he got super rich. He made savvy investments in the Lakers, Dodgers, and Starbucks, and opened tons of restaurants and movie theaters. He is now the chairman and CEO of Magic Johnson Enterprises. Happy for him.
• And in breaking Sports Desk news, the Philadelphia 76ers have traded star guard James Harden to the Los Angeles Clippers this morning. In exchange for Harden, the Clippers sent Robert Covington, Nicolas Batum, KJ Martin, Marcus Morris Sr. and draft picks to the 76ers.
• Honestly? Bad idea. Harden is getting older and is a guy who constantly complains and blames his own team for everything. I think the Clippers will regret this.
• Today in history… Byzantine Empress Irene is deposed and banished to Lesbos (802). Nevada is admitted as the 36th U.S. state (1864). Dedication of the Lincoln Highway, the first automobile highway across United States (1913). Benito Mussolini is made Prime Minister of Italy (1922). After 14 years of work, Mount Rushmore is completed (1941). Indian Prime Minister Indira Gandhi is assassinated by two security guards (1984). Iraq announces it would no longer cooperate with United Nations weapons inspectors (1998). Soyuz TM-31 launches, carrying the first resident crew to the International Space Station (2000). A federal grand jury in Houston, Texas indicts former Enron chief financial officer Andrew Fastow on 78 counts of wire fraud, money laundering, conspiracy and obstruction of justice (2002). The global population of humans reaches seven billion (2011). 
• October 31 is the birthday of Portugal king Ferdinand I (1345), Portugal king Edward (1391), painter Johannes Vermeer (1632), physicist Laura Bassi (1711), Portugal king Luis I (1838), Girl Scout founder Juliette Gordon Low (1860), photographer Helmut Newton (1920), journalist Dan Rather (1931), actress Sally Kirkland (1941), actor David Ogden Stiers (1942), NFL player Brian Piccolo (1943), songwriter Russ Ballard (1945), actor John Candy (1950), journalist Jane Pauley (1950), bass player Bernard Edwards (1952), author Neal Stephenson (1959), director Peter Jackson (1961), drummer Larry Mullen, Jr. (1961), guitarist Johnny Marr (1963), rapper Ad-Rock (1966), rapper Vanilla Ice (1967), songwriter Adam Schlesinger (1967), and singer Willow Smith (2000).

Okay, I have things to do. Happy Halloween everyone! Enjoy your day.

Random News: October 30, 2023

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s October 30, 2023, and it’s a Monday. I’m up before the sun to bring you the latest information that may be useful. Okay, I’m up because I have a job and meetings and shit like the, but also for the news.

• Lots going on with the Creamsicle Criminal at the moment.
• Last night before I went to bed, I saw the happy news that U.S. District Judge Tanya Chutkan, who is presiding over the federal case charging El Dumpo with plotting to overturn the results of the 2020 election, reimposed a gag order barring him from making public comments targeting prosecutors, court staff and potential witnesses.
• After issuing the order on October 20, she had temporarily lifted the gag order as she considered the former president's request to keep it on hold while he challenges the restrictions on his speech in higher courts.
• But then Trump fucked himself, as usual. Chutkan agreed to reinstate the order after prosecutors cited Trump's recent social media comments about his former chief of staff they said represented an attempt to influence and intimidate a likely witness in the case.
• Two separate judges have now imposed orders mandating that he rein in his speech, with the jurist presiding over a civil fraud trial in New York issuing a monetary fine last week.
• The gag order is actually very narrow. It only says Dumpy can’t try to intimidate the prosecutors, court staff, and witnesses. This is typical in any criminal trial of this nature. You wouldn’t be allowed to threaten your ex-wife while going through a child custody hearing, for example.
• Dumpy didn’t take it well. 
• He posted immediately after, "The Corrupt Biden Administration just took away my First Amendment Right To Free Speech. NOT CONSTITUTIONAL! MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN…"
• Suck it, Don.
• But wait. Moving over to the great state of Colorado, a Denver court will hear arguments this morning in a lawsuit seeking to bar Dumples the Clown from the state’s 2024 ballot over his role in the Capitol attack on January 6, 2021.
• The trial begins after Colorado Judge Sarah Wallace last week rejected the latest attempt by Dumpy to toss the lawsuit, which was filed on behalf of six voters in Denver district court last month.
• The lawsuit cites Section 3 of the 14th Amendment to the Constitution, which states no person may hold office if they “engaged in insurrection or rebellion” after swearing under oath to support and defend the Constitution.
• Dump’s lawyers tried to argue that Congress, not the courts, has the authority to handle questions about ballot eligibility. They also claimed that state election officials don’t have the authority to enforce Section 3 of the 14th Amendment.
• Arguments rejected.
• Will this actually keep him off the ballot? Who the fuck even knows at this point?
• My final piece of Dump-o news is purely for comedy. He was giving a speech in Sioux City, IA yesterday, and came out to his adoring crowd and said, “Hello to a place where we’ve done very well, Sioux Falls. Thank you very much.”
• Sioux Falls? That’s in North Dakota. BOOOOOOOOOOO!
• Let’s move on to something actually important, which is a global rise in antisemitism in the wake of the Hamas terror attacks on Israel.
• Today, the Biden administration is announcing new actions aimed at combating a dangerous scourge of antisemitic incidents on college campuses across the country.
• The White House highlighted a series of steps taken by the Department of Homeland Security, the Department of Justice and the Department of Education, including engagement with campus law enforcement officials.
• Over this past weekend, a series of antisemitic threats were made against Cornell University’s Jewish community in online posts. At many universities, students are engaging in fervent protests over Israel’s actions after the Hamas attack.
• The Justice Department’s Community Relations Service is providing support to Jewish, Muslim, Arab and other impacted communities.
• Globally, things are much worse.
• Yesterday, a mob in Russia stormed the airport in the region of Dagestan after a plane from the Israeli city of Tel Aviv landed there.
• Hundreds of angry men rushed onto the tarmac of the airport in Makhachkala, the capital of the predominantly Muslim region, looking for Jews.
• Video and photos on social media showed some in the crowd waving Palestinian flags and some trying to overturn a police car. Others held hand-written banners saying “Child killers are not welcome in Dagestan” and “We’re against Jewish refugees.”
• Let me tell you something: singling out any group of people for punishment, by religion or race or ethnicity or national origin or gender or sexual orientation or age or fucking ANYTHING, is wrong 100% of the time.
• This morning’s news from the war shows Israeli troops and tanks attacked Gaza's main northern city from both sides today, three days after they began a major ground offensive in the Palestinian enclave that has drawn more international calls for civilians to be protected.
• Israel’s military said it had struck more than 600 militant targets over the past few days as it expanded ground operations in the Gaza Strip, where Palestinian civilians are in dire need of fuel, food and clean water as the war enters its fourth week.
• No one really wins wars. Ever.
• Let’s do some good news.
• All three major automakers — Ford, Stellantis, and as of an hour ago, General Motors — have come to a tentative agreement with the United Auto Workers union.
• Terms of the GM deal are not yet known, but it is expected to be along the lines of the deals already announced at Ford and Stellantis, including an immediate 11% raise in the top hourly wage rate, additional pay hikes totaling another 14% during the four-and-a-half years of the contract, as well as a return of the cost-of-living adjustment meant to protect workers from rising prices.
• Good for them. Workers of the world, unite!
• Let’s talk abut Delaware, whose voters are leaning toward electing its first Black senator and the first openly transgender member of Congress.
• Rep. Lisa Blunt Rochester is leading by 10 points among registered Democratic voters. And State Sen. Sarah McBride so far has a plurality of support to replace Blunt Rochester in the U.S. House at-large seat.
• Both races are safe blue seats that will likely be decided in the primary elections on September 10, 2024.
• Blunt Rochester would be the first Black person and first woman to represent Delaware in the Senate.
• That’s where we’re going to win… at the polls. Blue Wave 2024!
• And now, The Weather: “TBD (The Big Death)” by Meagre Martin
• I’m sure a lot of us are still sad about the passing of Matthew Perry over the weekend. Social media voice Charlotte Clymer mentioned a great scene from ‘Friends’ that many of us recall.
• There was an episode where the group was trying to force Chandler and Monica to be open about their budding relationship, and Chandler and Phoebe were playing romantic chicken to try to psyche each other out. The dialogue went as such…
• PHOEBE: "So, this is my bra."
• CHANDLER: ”It’s very nice. I'm very happy we're gonna have all the sex."
• PHOEBE: ”You should be. I'm very bendy."
• Funny scene, funny guy. One thing about being an actor or musician or artist… your work lives on way after you’re gone. The better episodes of ‘Friends’ will still be funny 100 years from now.
• From the Sports Desk… the Vikings beat the Packers 24-10 yesterday, but it was a Pyrrhic victory because in the process, Minnesota quarterback Kirk Cousins may have had a season-ending right Achilles tear.
• The team will likely confirm soon. The Vikings started 0-3, worked their way back to 4-4, and now? Guess they’ll see how rookie Jaren Hall works out.
• Today in history… Guangzhou is sacked by Arab and Persian pirates (758). Simón Bolívar becomes President of the Third Republic of Venezuela (1817). Orson Welles broadcasts a radio adaptation of H. G. Wells's ‘The War of the Worlds’, causing a massive panic in some of the audience in the United States (1938). Jackie Robinson of the Kansas City Monarchs signs a contract for the Brooklyn Dodgers, breaking the baseball color line (1945). President Eisenhower approves the top-secret document NSC 162/2 concerning the maintenance of a strong nuclear deterrent force against the Soviet Union (1953). The Soviet Union detonates the Tsar Bomba, the most powerful explosive device ever detonated (1961). Quebec citizens narrowly vote (50.58% to 49.42%) in favor of remaining a province of Canada in their second referendum on national sovereignty (1995). Sweden becomes the first European Union member state to officially recognize the State of Palestine (2014).
• October 30 is the birthday of US president John Adams (1735), poet Ezra Pound (1885), bodybuilder Charles Atlas (1893), actress Ruth Gordon (1896), journalist Fred W. Friendly (1915), trumpeter/composer Clifford Brown (1930), film director Louis Malle (1932), NFL coach Dick Vermeil (1936), singer-songwriter Grace Slick (1939), actor Henry Winkler (1945), journalist Andrea Mitchell (1946), drummer Chris Slade (1946), singer-songwriter/bass player Timothy B. Schmit (1947), singer-songwriter/guitarist Gavin Rossdale (1965), umm… Ivanka Trump (1981), NFL player Trent Edwards (1983), and NBA player Devin Booker (1996).

It’s rather chilly (for here) this morning, so I need to get used to working out in a somewhat cold room. Turn on the heat? Are you insane? Enjoy your day.

Random News: October 29, 2023

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s October 29, 2023, and it’s a Sunday. It’s a wee bit chilly for here in Redondo Beach, CA, with temps dipping into the low 50s at night. I know that’s not actually chilly. It’s just how we recognize fall where I live. Let’s do some news.

• We normally don’t start with this section, but it’s Sunday Gunday at Zak’s Random News, where we take a quick scroll through the seemingly inevitable list of gun violence incidents over the past couple of days here in the USA.
• Before I do, there’s something I want to point out. After each shooting, I seem to hear a lot of talk about the mental health of the shooter. Conservatives often deflect the issue of the USA being filled with daily incidences of gun violence by saying that we have a mental health crisis.
• Well, that’s correct. We do have a mental health crisis… that, along with a culture that makes guns so easily accessible to everyone, is a recipe for continual disaster.
• But the not-at-all-funny thing is, we also don’t address the nation’s mental health woes, and the same people who blame it for the epidemic of gun violence also vote against prioritizing mental health services.
• A great example is gun-lover Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA). She was one of 205 Republicans who voted against school-based mental health services. She was one of just 20 House Republicans who voted against a package that addresses mental health and substance abuse (which passed 402-20).
• But Marge is always the first to grab some camera time to say that guns are never the problem and the issue is crazy people. Does she support taking away guns from those crazy people? No, not at all. She wants more people to have more guns, and frankly that’s a common and publicly-stated position among most Republican politicians.
• So let’s do this.
• Two dead and 18 injured in a mass shooting at a Halloween party in Tampa, FL. Two dead and three others (including a 13-year-old girl) shot at a house party in San Antonio, TX. Three dead and three more shot at a business party in Texarkana, TX. A woman dead and nine others shot during a large house party in Indianapolis, IN. One dead, two others in critical condition in a shooting at a nightclub in Wichita, KS. One dead, one wounded in a shooting on the campus of Worcester State University in Worcester, MA. A woman dead and a man in critical condition after a shooting in Kent, WA. A woman shot dead in a broad daylight shooting in southside Tallahassee, FL. One shot dead in Springfield, MO. One shot dead in Charlotte, NC. One shot dead in Kakaako, HI. One shot dead in Memphis, TN. One shot dead in Mankato, MN. One shot dead at a party in Magnolia, AR. 15 people shot, two critically, at a Halloween party in the North Lawndale neighborhood of Chicago, IL. Four shot (one critically) during a shooting at a gas station in Atlanta, GA. Four shot (on critically) in the Carrick neighborhood of Pittsburgh, PA. Three wounded in a shooting at a shopping mall in Chula Vista, CA. Two shot near a Denny’s in Nashua, NH. Two shot at a Kum & Go in Colorado Springs, CO. One shot critically in Norfolk, VA. One shot in Lansing, MI. One shot in Andrews, SC. One shot in Oakland, CA. A female juvenile shot in Montgomery, AL. A juvenile in critical condition after a shooting in Washington, D.C. 
• Are these all the shootings? Nah, just a few of them from Friday and Saturday. There were many more.
• What about the mass shooting in Maine? Nah, that happened all the way back on Wednesday. Everyone’s forgotten about that by now, right? That’s how the ammosexuals want you to think, anyway.
• If you say something at the moment, you’re “politicizing a tragedy”. If you bring it up a week later, everyone has “moved on from it."
• Let’s move on.
• Thousands of people broke into aid warehouses in Gaza to take flour and basic hygiene products as Israeli tanks and infantry pushed into Gaza over the weekend.
• Gaza’s Health Ministry said the death toll among Palestinians has passed 8,000 — mostly women and minors. Over 1,400 people have died on the Israeli side, mainly civilians killed during the initial Hamas onslaught.
• There’s never any redeeming factor to war. Wealthy people profit and innocents die horrible deaths. No justification is possible for either terrorism or war. Never ever.
• Back here in the USA, let’s talk some more about abortion and Ohio’s upcoming election.
• Three months ago, Ohio tried to make it impossible for their own citizens to make changes to their state’s constitution. This was done in a failed attempt by abortion opponents to prevent Issue 1 being placed on the ballot to enshrine reproductive rights in the Buckeye state.
• That August proposal aimed at derailing amendments failed even in 15 counties that had voted for Trump. This isn’t a red-versus-blue situation. It’s about people who don’t feel the government should control your reproductive decisions.
• Ohio’s Issue 1 is being carefully watched as an indicator for the entire nation. Since the U.S. Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade’s federal abortion standard, voters have sided with abortion rights advocates in six other states, even in conservative Kansas and Kentucky. 
• Advocates in nine states are pushing for ballot campaigns next year and beyond. Conservative leaders know this is going to be a big problem for them in 2024. A July poll from USA Today and Suffolk University found that 58 percent of Ohioans backed the proposed amendment, and just 32 percent opposed.
• Ohioans will vote on Tuesday November 7, and if they vote Yes on Issue 1, it will help pave the way for the rest of the nation to return in a direction of sanity and fairness.
• Let’s move on.
• Some slightly surprising news out of the GOP race for president. Although Donnie Dump, aka Combover Caligula, obviously leads the pack by a mile, Nikki Haley is making an unexpected ascent.
• Take this with a grain of salt. El Dumpo is far ahead of any of the undercard opponents, Haley still only has a handful of points nationally, and we’ve been hit by media reports at various times of Ron DeSantis, Tim Scott, and Vivek Ramaswamy as potential Trump killers. All bullshit.
• But Haley had two widely-praised debate performances, is the only one of the bunch with expertise in international affairs, and in recent weeks, Republican politicians, pundits and at least one newspaper editorial board have called for most of the remaining candidates to drop out and consolidate around Haley.
• She’s not a good person, and I don’t like her at all, but I do like having at least one person in the race to make Dumpelstiltskin nervous.
• Speaking of not good people…
• Conservatives are totally excited about the House GOP’s election of Rep. Mike Johnson (R-LA) as Speaker. They now plan to press him on bringing anti-abortion and anti-transgender policies up for a vote.
• To be clear, these people don’t just want to do things like limit things like abortion and same-sex marriage. They want to make abortion 100% illegal in all cases across the nation, and they want to make it punishable by law to be gay, or to be transgendered.
• That’s what they do in fundamentalist Muslim states. They want to Make American Iran Again.
• Johnson’s entire political career has been based on these values. He has worked to close abortion clinics in Louisiana and twice defended the state’s same-sex marriage ban.
• Keep it in mind as we approach 2024, when we’ll have a strong opportunity to flip the House to blue and remove this dangerous person’s Christofascist ideology from a top spot in the US government.
• And now, The Weather: “Heaven Turning Navy Blue” by LOMELI
• Rest in peace to actor Matthew Perry, who was about exactly two months younger than me. He died yesterday at age 54 in an apparent drowning in a hot tub at his home, though details remained under investigation. No drugs or foul play were suspected.
• As just about everyone around the world is aware, Perry played Chandler Bing on the NBC comedy ‘Friends’ for ten seasons. Equally well known was Perry’s decades-long struggle with addiction, something covered in depth in his memoir ‘Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing’ that he released last year in which he said his alcoholism began at age 14.
• He was in and out of rehabs dozens of times. As far as people were aware, he seemed to be sober in recent times before his passing. Awful.
• Not only were Perry and I born at the same time, but my own use of drugs and alcohol could have easily spiraled in a similar fashion as his had I not made, in hindsight, some really good decisions in my early 20s, and again in my early 30s.
• I’m far from perfect — like, super far, can’t even see it in the distance far — but removing my propensity to turn to intoxicants to solve my problems is probably the only reason I’m alive and generally well today.
• Let’s move on. We’ve just hit 663,000 words in this silly list of bullets I’ve done almost every morning since May 2022.
• That’s a lot of words. I’m far past the entire J.R.R. Tolkien ‘Lord of the Rings’ series including ‘The Hobbit’ (576,459 words). I blew past Stephen King’s uncut version of ‘The Stand’ (471,485) months back. There are more words in these bullets than even huge-ass monster novels like ‘Atlas Shrugged’ (561,996), ‘War and Peace’ (561,304), or ‘Les Miserables’ (530,982).
• And, of course, the longer something is, the better it is. Wait. No. Strike that.
• Anyway, I enjoy doing this, and it’s for me as much as it is for you, I promise. Probably more so.
• From the Sports Desk… the Diamondbacks came roaring back in Game 2 of the World Series, beating the Rangers 9-1. The series is now tied 1-1. Game 3 is Monday in Arizona.
• Also in sports, a fucking horrific story about former Pittsburgh Penguin Adam Johnson, who died following a freak accident on the ice as he played for the English team Nottingham Panthers.
• In the second period of the team’s Challenge Cup match against the Sheffield Steelers yesterday, Johnson got slashed in the neck by a skate. He was 29 years old. Ugh.
• Today in history… First trial for witchcraft in Paris leading to the death of three people (1390). Sir Walter Raleigh is beheaded for allegedly conspiring against James I of England (1618). Mount Hood in Oregon is named after Samuel Hood by Lt. William E. Broughton (1792). Eighteen countries meet in Geneva and agree to form the International Red Cross (1863). Second trial of Sacco and Vanzetti in Boston, MA (1921). The New York Stock Exchange crashes in what will be called the Crash of '29 or "Black Tuesday", beginning the Great Depression (1929). The first-ever computer-to-computer link is established on ARPANET, the precursor to the Internet (1969). Space Shuttle Discovery blasts off on STS-95 with 77-year-old John Glenn on board, making him the oldest person to go into space at that time (1998). Delta Air Lines merges with Northwest Airlines, creating the world's largest airline and reducing the number of US legacy carriers to five (2008). Hurricane Sandy hits the east coast of the United States, killing 148 directly and 138 indirectly, while leaving nearly $70 billion in damages and causing major power outages (2012). 
• October 29 is the birthday of author Jean Giraudoux (1882), Nazi piece of shit Joseph Goebbels (1897), writer Dominick Dunne (1925), animator Ralph Bakshi (1938), painter Bob Ross (1942), film producer Don Simpson (1943), actor Richard Dreyfuss (1947), singer-songwriter Kevin DuBrow (1955), actor Dan Castellaneta (1957), actress Joely Fisher (1967), actress Wynona Ryder (1971), actress Gabrielle Union (1972), swimmer Amanda Beard (1981), and singer-songwriter Tove Lo (1987).

Okay. I’m gonna shower and do things. Enjoy your day.

Random News: October 28, 2023

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s October 28, 2023, and it’s a Saturday. I am fully enjoying the first feelings of fall weather as I chill in my blue robe, drink delicious coffee (Peet’s classic Major Dickason’s lend today), and check on news for me and you.

• Last night, law enforcement found the body of Lewiston, ME shooting rampage suspect Robert Card. He’d died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound.
• Card, 40, was found in the woods near Lisbon, which is about eight miles from Lewiston. He was found in an area near the recycling center from which he had been recently fired. Sad end to a sad tale, though it’s good to know that Card doesn’t remain a threat to folks in the area.
• In typical American fashion, after Card’s body was found, Maine immediately lifted its temporary hunting restrictions so people could get back to carrying around their high-powered rifles.
• I have nothing more to say on that for now. In a country where a certifiably insane person can legally purchase and carry a high-powered firearm with massive ammunition capacity in many places with no legal route to prevent him from whatever happens next, the only thing I can do is vote for representatives in government who don’t support such things.
• That’s it. Moving on to some breaking news…
• Mike Pence, the former vice president, has dropped out of the 2024 presidential race as of this morning.
• No one was going to vote for Mike Pence.
• In other news…
• I feel like we need to once again make sure folks are aware about Mike Johnson (R-LA), the Speaker of the House and the person second in line to the Presidency.
• Johnson has a chummy chat with Fox’s Sean Hannity this week. He said his first order of business was to start negotiating with the White House about funding bills.
• Johnson is going to insist on cuts to fund the government when funding lapses in less than three weeks. He mentioned the Republican plan that would call for an 8% cut of government spending, a sure nonstarter for the White House and the Senate.
• In somewhat hopeful news, unlike most Republicans, Johnson supports more funding to help Ukraine fight off Russia, but he has a list of 12 demands make sure the money is well-spent. Johnson also wants to cut the U.S. budget in exchange for Israel support.
• Johnson also did a big backpedal when his documented views on the rights of LGBTQIA+ people were brought up to him. He said to Hannity that “he doesn’t even remember all of that stuff”, referring to his long track record of anti-gay bigotry.
• He said he was just doing his job as a religious freedom attorney. As such, he was actively fighting against same-sex marriage, legal rights for same-sex domestic partners, and arguing before the Supreme Court that states should be able to outlaw same-sex intercourse.
• But today, miraculously, Johnson claims he follows the rule of law and loves all people, “regardless of their lifestyle choices.”
• Fact check: being gay isn’t a lifestyle choice and more than being short is an elevation choice.
• But perhaps most concerning of all is Johnson’s statement in that interview that an easy way into his mind is to “go pick up a Bible off your shelf and read it. That’s my world view. That’s what I believe. And so I make no apologies.”
• From the very start of the United States, the separation of church and state is a key defining point of our nation. It’s also important to note that the USA has no official religion or any requirement for religion at all, and that hundreds of different religions and beliefs are practiced here. Maybe Johnson can put down the Bible for awhile and take a high school-level civics class.
• Moving on to the latest tale of master criminal El Dumpo and his actual trials and hopeful tribulations.
• Dumpy is set to testify November 6 at his New York civil fraud trial, following his three eldest children to the witness stand in a case that, if there’s any justice in the world, will annihilate their family's real estate empire.
• As officers of the accused Trump Organization, it was already expected that Dumples and and sons Dumpy Jr. and L’il Eric Dump would testify. But then yesterday, Judge Arthur Engoron ruled that daughter Vanky also must appear. She’d asked to not testify and was shot down.
• In New York Attorney General Letitia James' lawsuit, it’s alleged that the Dump Crime Fam overstated Dumples’ wealth for years on financial statements that were given to banks, insurers and others to help secure loans and deals.
• That’s illegal, kids. That’s fraud.
• Let’s move down to Mississippi, where in less than two weeks on November 7, a surprising tight race for governor could end up with incumbent Republican Gov. Tate Reeves in a runoff with Democratic challenger Brandon Presley… the cousin of Elvis.
• In that state, if no candidate on the general election ballot receives more than 50% of the vote, the top two vote-getters will participate in a runoff election on Nov. 28, just five days after Thanksgiving. Recent polling has Reeves under the 50% threshold.
• Having a Democratic governor in a typically deep-red state would be nothing but good for the people of Mississippi. Let’s go Presley!
• Moving up to New York, where yesterday Rep. George Santos (R-NY) pleaded not guilty to the charges accusing him of stealing people’s identities, making charges on his donors’ credit cards without their authorization, and lying to federal election officials.
• His trial was set for September 9, 2024, just before Santos’ attempt to get re-elected despite all the insanity around him, and is expected to last three weeks. The reality is that Santos may have long lost his Congressman’s job by then; a vote is scheduled next week to eject him from the House.
• Heading over to Ohio, the November election is focused on the state’s Issue 1 that enshrines women’s rights to have abortion access in the state Constitution.
• Supporters of the proposal have raised three times more than their opponents, and it’s easy to see why. Issue 1 gives voters the choice if they want to legalize and protect access to abortion, contraception, fertility treatment, miscarriage care and continuing a pregnancy. It would also prohibit the state from interfering or penalizing an individual's voluntary exercise of this right or anyone or entity that helps in utilizing this right.
• But things being as they are, there’s also a big contingent of Ohio conservatives — primarily men — who want to control women’s reproductive rights. They are busy posting and advertising misleading and completely false information about the initiative.
• I have faith in Ohio to do the right thing. This election will be very closely watched as Ohio is the only state to put an abortion rights question before voters this fall, making it a testing ground for messaging ahead of the 2024 elections when it’s expected to be on the ballot in more states and a massive factor in races up and down the ballot.
• YES ON ISSUE 1.
• In our continuing coverage of the pieces of shit who attempted a coup against the United States on January 6, 2021, meet Jacob Travis Clark of Colorado Springs, CO.
• Yesterday, he was sentenced to nearly three years in prison. Clark hit a police officer with a 2x4 wooden plank during the insurrection, and was found guilty of obstructing an official proceeding, a felony, as well as five misdemeanor counts related to his conduct at the Capitol.
• More than 1,100 people have been charged for crimes related to the January 6 Capitol insurrection.
• Going back for a moment to the 2024 presidential race. Ron DeSantis is being ridiculed by Israeli diplomats, Florida Democrats, and the White House after he falsely claimed credit for a gun-running operation to assist Israel’s military operations in Gaza.
• He’d claimed on Thursday that he had worked with Israel’s consul general in Miami to send military equipment, including drones, body armor and helmets. Sounds pretty MAGA, huh?
• Except his bullshit fell apart yesterday when Maor Elbaz-Starinsky, Israel’s consul general, said he had not asked for DeSantis’s help, and that the governor’s involvement was limited to smoothing paperwork requirements for a previously arranged shipment of “rifle parts”.
• Hahahahahahaha. Jesus.
• And now, The Weather: “Donut” by Wishy
• Rest in peace to Richard Moll, the actor best know for his role as the bailiff Bull on the original "Night Court" sitcom. He’s died at 80.
• Sad Fact: of the entire original cast of “Night Court”, only John Larroquette and Marsha Warfield remain among the living.
• Got a chart for you, from this week in 1987. It’s Billboard’s Album Rock tracks, a chart and entire category of music that no longer exists because only weirdos like me buy albums.
• 1. Love Will Find A Way (Yes). 2. Brilliant Disguise (Bruce Springsteen). 3. The One I Love (R.E.M.), 4. Strap Me In (The Cars). 5. Time Stand Still (Rush). 6. Learning to Fly (Pink Floyd). 7. Tunnel of Love (Bruce Springsteen). 8. One Slip (Pink Floyd). 9. Throwaway (Mick Jagger). 10. Animal (Def Leppard). 11. Rhythm of Love (Yes). 12. Steel Monkey (Jethro Tull). 13. Is This Love (Whitesnake). 14. Crazy (Icehouse). 15. Showdown at Big Sky (Robbie Robertson). 16. Rag Doll (Aerosmith). 17. Got My Mind Set On You (George Harrison). 18. Cherry Bomb (John Cougar Mellencamp). 19. Truck Drivin’ Man (Lynyrd Skynyrd). 20. We’ll Be Together (Sting).
• From the Sports Desk… an incredible finish to Game 1 of the World Series, which had Arizona leading all the way up to the bottom of the ninth inning when former Dodger Corey Seager smashed a 2-run homer for Texas to tie it up and send the game to extras. The Rangers ended up winning 6-5 in the 11th to take a 1-0 lead in the series.
• Today in history… Beijing is officially designated the capital of the Ming dynasty when the Forbidden City is completed (1420). Christopher Columbus lands in Cuba on his first voyage to the New World, surmising that it is Japan (1492). Ferdinand Magellan reaches the Pacific Ocean (1520). The Massachusetts Bay Colony votes to establish a theological college, which would later become Harvard University (1636). Jonathan Swift’s novel 'Gulliver's Travels’ is published (1726). US president Grover Cleveland dedicates the Statue of Liberty (1886). The U.S. Congress passes the Volstead Act over President Woodrow Wilson's veto, paving the way for Prohibition to begin the following January (1919). Italian fascists led by Benito Mussolini march on Rome and take over the Italian government (1922). The Cuban Missile Crisis ends and Premier Nikita Khrushchev orders the removal of Soviet missiles from Cuba (1962). US President Barack Obama signs the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act (2009). 
• October 28 is the birthday of philosopher Erasmus (1466), businessman Eliphalet Remington (1793), costume designer Edith Head (1897), author Evelyn Waugh (1903), biologist Jonas Salk (1914), actor Jack Soo (1917), businessman Bowie Kuhn (1926), singer/keyboarist Graham Bond (1937), NBA player/coach Lenny Wilkins (1937), singer/guitarist Hank Marvin (1941), actor Dennie Franz (1944), athlete Caitlyn Jenner (1949), actress Annie Potts (1952), businessman/philanthropist Bill Gates (1955), drummer Stephen Morris (1957), actress Jami Gertz (1965), NFL player Steve Atwater (1966), TV host Andy Richter (1966), singer-songwriter/guitarist Ben Harper (1969), singer-songwriter/guitarist Brad Paisley (1972), singer-songwriter/rapper Frank Ocean (1987), and DJ/producer Jamie xx (1988).

That’s enough news. I need a shower. Enjoy your day.

Random News: October 27, 2023

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s October 27, 2023, and if you can believe it, it’s a Friday once again! I’m trying to keep a positive vibe going into the weekend despite a world filled with madness. Sometimes you have to put the bad shit aside to let the good shit in. This will not be a quote in any philosophy book. Let’s see what’s up.

• The manhunt for 40-year-old Robert Card of Bowdoin, ME continues today. Card is the suspect in the mass shooting at a bowling alley and restaurant on Wednesday night in Lewiston. 
• The official toll of carnage in Maine had 18 people were killed and 13 injured. It is the deadliest mass shooting of the year thus far. There have been 565 mass shootings nationwide so far in 2023, killing 597 people.
• Contrary to popular belief, there is a way to stop a bad guy with a gun. It’s making sure he never gets one in the first place.
• I mean, what is a the typical profile of a mass murder? It’s an American with a gun. That’s it. That’s the profile.
• It’s unknown whether law authorities are any closer to finding Card than they have been since the mass shooting took place, so that’s all I have to say about that.
• Let’s find some good news in this horrible story. Thomas Giberti, the manager at Sparetime bowling alley where Card started his murderous rampage, led countless children to safety before he was shot in the legs during the Maine massacre.
• Giberti risked his life directing kids to a secure area in the bowling alley while under fire during the shooting. He is currently fighting for his life in the hospital.
• Hero.
• Moving on.
• The U.S. military conducted strikes yesterday against two facilities in eastern Syria used by Iranian-backed groups in retaliation for recent attacks against U.S. forces in Iraq and Syria.
• The strikes, ordered by President Biden and conducted by F-16 aircraft, hit a weapons storage area and an ammunition storage area connected to Iranian-aligned militias in Abu Kamal.
• "The United States does not seek conflict and has no intention nor desire to engage in further hostilities, but these Iranian-backed attacks against U.S. forces are unacceptable and must stop.” - Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin
• "My warning to the Ayatollah was that if they continue to move against those troops, we will respond, and he should be prepared. It has nothing to do with Israel.” - Joe Biden
• I’d prefer not to have any massive multi-national war in the Middle East, or frankly anywhere.
• Let’s move on.
• I have two tales of congressional maps… one happy, and one very sad.
• Yesterday, a federal judge ordered Georgia to draw new congressional and state legislative maps, ruling that state legislators improperly diluted the political power of Black voters in establishing those boundaries following the 2020 census.
• The ruling by US District Judge Steve Jones could result in Democrats securing an additional seat in the US House from Georgia. Republicans currently hold nine slots in the state’s 14-member congressional delegation.
• There are several legal and political fights underway in nearly a dozen states that could determine whether the GOP retains its narrow majority in the US House after next year’s elections.
• In his ruling, Jones said Georgia’s Republican-controlled legislature had violated the Voting Rights Act, the nation’s landmark civil rights law, in establishing district lines. He noted that minorities accounted for all of the state’s population growth in the past decade but said that the number of majority-Black congressional and legislative districts remained the same.
• But in North Carolina, Republicans have approved new maps that could flip multiple House seats in their favor.
• The GOP-led state General Assembly passed maps on Wednesday that alter the lines for North Carolina’s 14 U.S. House seats, changes that would give Republicans a leg up in defending their House majority in 2024.
• NC Democrats have called them out.
• “North Carolina Republicans have just enacted one of the most gerrymandered maps in the country. NC is a 50/50 state — but you wouldn’t know that from looking at the new maps — which cement an illegitimate advantage for the GOP. It’s shameful & undemocratic.” - National Democratic Redistricting Committee
• North Carolina’s congressional delegation is currently an even split between Democrats and Republicans in the House, but the new maps could help give Republicans the majority of the 14 seats.
• It’s going to be a tough fight in 2024, but I believe in you and what you can do to not give this country away to the MAGA sickness.
• Moving on.
• As we’d mentioned would be likely awhile back, a group of House Republicans from New York forced a vote on a resolution to expel Rep. George Santos (R-NY) from the House. The vote will happen next week.
• It’s extraordinarily rare for lawmakers to try and kick a member of their own party out of Congress. They’d never do it unless Santos had become a huge liability to their own political futures.
• Santos was hit with with 10 new charges including wire fraud, aggravated identity theft and credit card fraud earlier this month but remains a voting member of the House. he is being arraigned for those criminal accusations today in Long Island, NY.
• I know most of you are just getting to know the new Speaker of the House, Mike Johnson. Here’s another little tidbit so you can understand what kind of person he is.
• Johnson claims that states have a right to ban "sex of any kind outside the marriage of one man and one woman."
• So the GOP, which calls itself the party of small government, now wants to know exactly what kind of sex you’re having and with whom. Johnson is also a textbook Christian Nationalist who believes the USA has an official religion, and it’s conveniently the one he believes in.
• This is yet another example of why it’s essential that we flip the House and maintain the Senate and the Presidency in 2024.
• I’ve told you for years that the MAGA folks would be prying into your bedroom, trying to take away contraception, forcing women to give birth, removing the Constitutional right to marry a person of the same sex or a different race, taking away your Social Security and Medicare, and much more. If you thought I was being an extremist then, just listen to them today. They’ll openly tell you.
• I want to bring up an important example of how things are changing rapidly, and perhaps a sign of how things can go in next year’s election cycle if we stay strong and do it right.
• Last week I mentioned the municipal election in Franklin, TN, which is a wealthy suburb of Nashville that Donnie Dump carried by 26 points in 2020. Franklin is as red as red gets.
• Despite that, the MAGA candidate for mayor, along with a slate of MAGA alderman candidates were destroyed at the polls. Like, utterly crushed.
• The entire country as a whole is sick of this MAGA shit. And every Republican signed on to the MAGA team this week when they unanimously voted to have Mike Johnson (R-LA) be our new Speaker of the House.
• As I mentioned last week, I’ll be compiling a state-by-state guide to 2024 where we can look at each House and Senate race and see which seats are vulnerable, which are flippable, and what we can do together to stir up a beautiful new Blue Wave.
• Moving on.
• Hey, this is neat.
• A Chinese J-11 fighter jet flew within 10 feet of an American B-52 bomber operating in international airspace over the Pacific this week, passing beneath the bomber’s wing and disappearing from the pilot’s view.
• It was a highly unsafe maneuver that risked causing a midair collision, officials said. The encounter happened at night.
• You know, one small slip in a situation like that, and we suddenly have a major international conflict going on.
• And now, The Weather: “Roadflower” by Helena Deland
• Rest in peace to Angelo Bruschini, the English guitarist best known for his work with Bristol trip-hop pioneers Massive Attack. has died after a battle with lung cancer. He was 62.
• Angelo joined the band in 1997 in time to create Mezzanine, Massive Attack's most commercially successful album.
• Got a happy little story with the offspring of two ‘90s icons. On October 7, Frances Bean Cobain (the daughter of Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love) was married to Riley Hawk (the son of legendary skateboarder Tony Hawk).
• The ceremony was officiated by R.E.M. frontman Michael Stipe, who is Frances’ godfather. Wow.
• There’s a new way to describe Taylor Swift in one word: billionaire.
• Per Bloomberg, Swift’s total net worth is now at $1.1 billion, thanks to a record-breaking Eras tour that helped boost the US economy this summer. They say Swift is one of the few entertainers in history to reach that status based on just her music and performance.
• Cool. Well done, Tay.
• Got a chart for you. It’s late October 1974. I am five years old. I am — even at the time — aware of and enjoy many of these songs, because we almost constantly have music playing in the house, the car, wherever. Thanks Mom.
• 1. I Honestly Love You (Olivia Newton-John). 2. Nothing From Nothing (Billy Preston). 3. Then Came You (Dionne Warwicke & Spinners). 4. Beach Baby (First Class). 5. You Haven't Done Nothin (Stevie Wonder). 6. Another Saturday Night (Cat Stevens). 7. The Bitch Is Back (Elton John). 8. Never My Love (Blue Swede). 9. Earache My Eye (Cheech & Chong Featuring Alice Bowie). 10. Can't Get Enough (Bad Company). 11.Steppin' Out (Gonna Boogie Tonight) (Tony Orlando & Dawn). 12. Stop And Smell The Roses (Mac Davis). 13. Skin Tight (Ohio Players). 14. You Little Trustmaker (The Tymes). 15. Jazzman (Carole King). 16. Do It Baby (The Miracles). 17. Love Me For A Reason (The Osmonds). 18. Clap For The Wolfman (The Guess Who). 19. Sweet Home Alabama (Lynyrd Skynyrd). 20. Tin Man (America)
• From the Sports Desk… the World Series starts tonight with the Texas Rangers hosting the Arizona Diamondbacks. The game starts at 8pm ET, with Texas favored pretty heavily.
• Also from the Sports Desk… the Buccaneers had a chance to have a big upset in last night’s game against the Buffalo Bills when Baker Mayfield threw a Hail Mary pass as time expired, but the refs didn’t see (or chose not to see) a bunch of pass interference instances. Oh well.
• Here are the current leaders of each NFL division: AFC East: Miami Dolphins (5-2). AFC North: Baltimore Ravens (5-2). AFC South: Jacksonville Jaguars (5-2). AFC west: Kansas City Chiefs (6-1). NFC East: Philadeplhia Eagles (6-1). NFC North: Detroit Lions (5-2). NFC South: Atlanta Falcons (4-3). NFC West: San Francisco 49ers (5-2).
• Today in history… Æthelstan, the first king of all England, dies and is succeeded by his half-brother, Edmund I — my 34th great-grandfather (939). Founding of the city of Amsterdam (1275). Philadelphia is founded in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania (1682). United States annexes the former Spanish colony of West Florida (1810). The first underground New York City Subway line opens, later designated as the IRT Broadway–Seventh Avenue Line (1904). Mrs Wallis Simpson obtains her divorce, which would eventually allow her to marry King Edward VIII of the United Kingdom (1936). NASA tests the first Saturn I rocket in Mission Saturn-Apollo 1 (1961). By refusing to agree to the firing of a nuclear torpedo at a US warship, Vasily Arkhipov averts nuclear war (1962). The Democratic Republic of the Congo is renamed Zaire (1971). United States Navy radioman Allen R. Schindler, Jr. is murdered by shipmate Terry M. Helvey for being gay (1992). A gunman opens fire on a Pittsburgh synagogue killing 11 and injuring six, including four police officers (2018).
• October 27 is the birthday of writer Mary Sidney (1561), composer Niccolò Paganini (1782), businessman Isaac Singer (1811), US president Theodore Roosevelt (1858), poet Dylan Thomas (1914), actress Nanette Fabray (1920), artist Roy Lichtenstein (1923), Watergate lawyer H. R. Haldeman (1926), poet Sylvia Plath (1932), singer/pianist Floyd Kramer (1933), actor John Cleese (1939), mob boss John Gotti (1940), race car driver Dick Trickle (1941), actress Carrie Snodgress (1945), bass player Garry Tallent (1949), guitarist/songwriter K. K. Downing (1951), actor Roberto Benigni (1952), actor Robert Picardo (1953), singer-songwriter Simon Le Bon (1958), NBA player Yi Jianlian (1984), NFL player Brady Quinn (1984), and NBA player Lonzo Ball (1997).

That’s enough news for now. I hope you have a good day. I also hope I have a good day. IT’s hard to know at 7am what the day will be like. As I said up top, I’m hopeful. I refuse to be otherwise. Enjoy your day.

Random News: October 26, 2023

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s October 26, 2023, and it’s a Thursday for some reason. Things keep happening in the world, good and bad, small and large, and the more you know, the more prepared you are to deal with them.

• Before we can get into any political or fun or silly news stuff, we have to address our least-favorite topic: another terrible mass shooting happened yesterday evening in Lewiston, ME. 
• At least 16 people are dead — some outlets are reporting 22 or more — and dozens more are injured following two shootings last night at a bowling alley and a restaurant in Lewiston. Some reports had 50-60 people having been shot, though it’s an evolving story and not all the facts are confirmed.
• Robert Card, 40, is a person of interest and should be considered armed and dangerous. He’s still at large as of this morning.
• In other circumstances, Card — a white male — would be your prototypical “good guy with a gun”. He’s a certified firearms instructor and a member of the US Army Reserve.
• But Card had also recently reported mental health issues, including hearing voices, and made threats to carry out a shooting at a National Guard facility. In some states, those facts would have made it possible for authorities to make sure that Card didn’t have access to weapons of war.
• Maine isn’t one of them. Maine has a longstanding culture of gun ownership that is tied to its traditions of hunting and sport shooting, and has some of the most lax laws in the country in regard to firearms.
• The state passed a reckless permitless carry law in 2015 that allows residents to carry loaded, concealed handguns in public without any sort of permit or any background check at all.
• Maine does not have any red flag laws that would legally stop Card from doing what he did before he did it.
• Since Card (assuming it’s him) is an expert marksman, and was carrying an AR-15-style rifle with a scope and a large ammunition magazine, the amount of carnage he is capable of undertaking is sickening to consider.
• Not-Fun Fact: despite being the second most populous city in Maine, Lewiston is tiny and quaint compared to most cities, with its population of 39,000 people (my little Southern California beach city has about 70,000 by comparison). It’s an idyllic, beautiful New England town that’s ironically known for its extremely low violent crime rate.
• Lewiston is also a small city that in no way had the resources to handle mass casualties in its limited medical treatment facilities.
• This horrible incidence of violence is the 565th mass shootings reported across the United States this year. Between homicide and suicide, 1 in 5 Americans now know someone killed via guns. It’s not like that in any other country in the world.
• I have nothing more to add for now. I’m sorry for the victims. I hope they catch the guy.
• Moving on to another very important bit of news.
• We have a new Speaker of the House. It’s GOP Rep. Mike Johnson of Louisiana.
• What kind of a person is he?
• Well, he introduced a nationwide “Don’t Say Gay” bill. He supports a national ban on abortion. He wants to end Social Security and Medicare. He believed COVID was a hoax. And he voted to overturn the 2020 election in an attempt to subvert the will of the voters to make Donald Trump president.
• And Mike Johnson opposed all legislation on gun safety. Opposed every background check measure. Was vociferously against any and all effort to protect victims of gun violence. He is a great friend of the gun lobby and the NRA.
• Mike Johnson’s mission goes far beyond social issues. One of his key political points has been cutting back Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid, or even eliminating them entirely.
• You’ve paid your own money into those programs, as have your parents, uncles, aunts, and grandparents, all their working lives. This guy wants to steal that money from you. He also wants to raise retirement age to 70 so you’re more likely to die before getting any of that money back.
• Want some quotes from your new Speaker?
• “Every American woman has a duty to birth at least one able-bodied worker.” - Mike Johnson
• “Your race, creed, and sex are what you are, while homosexuality and cross-dressing are things you do.” - Mike Johnson
• “Homosexual relationships are inherently unnatural and, the studies clearly show, are ultimately harmful and costly for everyone If we change marriage for this tiny, modern minority, we will have to do it for every deviant group. Polygamists, polyamorists, pedophiles, and others will be next in line to claim equal protection. They already are. There will be no legal basis to deny a bisexual the right to marry a partner of each sex, or a person to marry his pet.” - Mike Johnson
• I clearly told you all that one way or another, a Republican-majority House would elect a Republican. This has never not been the case, for either majority party. There is nothing surprising about this, and frankly every Republican in Congress is a MAGA… it’s just a matter to what degree.
• Not one Republican, knowing exactly who Mike Johnson is, voted against him. That means that 100% of the GOP members of the House believe in and support his policies and opinions.
• Joe Biden, the President of the United States, was classy as expected in his response to Johnson’s election.
• “Jill and I congratulate Speaker Johnson on his election. As I said when this process began, whoever the Speaker is, I will seek to work with them in good faith on behalf of the American people. That’s a principle I have always held to, and that I’ve acted on – delivering major bipartisan legislation on infrastructure, outcompeting China, gun reform, and veterans care.”
• “Even though we have real disagreements about important issues, there should be mutual effort to find common ground wherever we can. This is a time for all of us to act responsibly, and to put the good of the American people and the everyday priorities of American families above any partisanship.”
• Well said, Joe. House minority leader Hakeem Jeffries also gave a remarkable speech after Johnson’s election. Jeffries is the kind of person you want at the top… he inspires, teaches, and maintains a positive vibe that reverberates to those around him.
• So now we have a mission for 2024, which is to do everything in our collective power to ensure the House flips to blue, and Hakeem Jeffries gets the Speaker role in January 2025.
• Mike Johnson’s election will galvanize the Democratic voting bloc, and will be the key turning point for us to take the country back.
• We will be starting our focus on 18 districts where Joe Biden won but have a GOP House rep. Flipping those will be the top priority. But frankly, my personal goal of greatness for 2024 is to flip 30-40 House seats from red to blue for an overwhelming Democratic majority next fall.
• We will be identifying each vulnerable congressional district. We will make sure these folks know what will happen to themselves, their parents, and their children should Republicans continue to keep a fist around the neck of the House.
• For the time being, the House can at least get back to work (he said, knowing one of their primary goals is to cause chaos, shut down the government, stop funding for critical programs, and to talk about Hunter Biden’s laptop instead of helping hard working Americans).
• Moving on… to a bitchslap for Don the Con.
• Last week, during El Dumpo’s civil fraud trial in New York, he was fined $5,000 after Judge Engoron learned that a Truth Social post attacking his law clerk remained on Dumpy’s campaign site, despite an order to remove the post earlier this month.
• Yesterday, he got dinged for another $10,000, and had a surprise appearance on the witness stand when Engoron unexpectedly called Dumpy up to explain, under oath, a comment he made outside the courtroom earlier in the day.
• What Dumpinator said was,"This judge is a very partisan judge with a person who is very partisan sitting alongside him — perhaps even much more partisan than he is.”
• Dump had been told not to talk shit about the law clerk. He tried to weasel out of it while he squirmed nervously on the witness stand. The judge did not believe him. 
• $10,000 isn’t a big deal to a guy who says he’s worth billions of dollars. But he is still appealing the fine.
• Let’s go down to Fulton County, GA, where news is hitting that at least six people were offered or discussed plea deals in the sprawling RICO indictment concerning Dumples and his Crime Fam.
• The details of the plea deals were not disclosed, but sources say that in addition to the four who accepted them and pleaded guilty — Georgia attorney Kenneth Chesebro; ex-Trump attorneys Jenna Ellis and Sidney Powell; and bail bondsman Scott Hall — others include pro-Trump lawyer Robert Cheeley, former county elections supervisor Misty Hampton, and former White House aide Micahel Roman.
• You know who’s missing from that list? One Rudy Giuliani. And of course, Dumpy himself.
• Those fish are going to fry.
• One final piece of news from the piece of shit who was president for awhile.
• A Colorado judge yesterday denied the latest attempt by Dumpy to dismiss a lawsuit seeking to remove him from the state’s 2024 ballot because of his role in the January 6, 2021 failed coup attempt at the U.S. Capitol.
• The lawsuit, filed on behalf of six voters in Denver district court last month, says Dump should be disqualified from running in future elections under Section 3 of the 14th Amendment to the Constitution, which states no person shall hold any office if they “engaged in insurrection or rebellion” after having taken an oath to support the Constitution. It argues that Trump violated his oath as president through his connection to the Capitol attack.
• I agree.
• And now, The Weather: “Middle of Winter” by A Beacon School
• From the Sports Desk… um… well, the NBA and NHL seasons have started, the World Series starts Friday, the NFL is in its eighth week, and if you like sports — and I do — it’s a good time to be alive.
• Today in history… The First Continental Congress adjourns in Philadelphia (1774). Wyatt Earp and Doc Holliday participate in the Gunfight at the O.K. Corral in Tombstone, Arizona (1881). The first electric generator at Hoover Dam goes into full operation (1936). The Battle of Leyte Gulf in WWII ends with an overwhelming American victory (1944). Pan American Airways makes the first commercial flight of the Boeing 707 from New York City to Paris (1958). The Australian government returns ownership of Uluru to the local Pitjantjatjara Aboriginals (1985). The United States passes the USA PATRIOT Act into law (2001). 
• October 26 is the birthday of composer Hans Buchner (1483), composer Domenico Scarlatti (1685), businessman C. W. Post (1854), businessman Benjamin Guggenheim (1865), philanthropist/MoMA founder Abby Aldrich Rockefeller (1874), politician François Mitterrand (1916), actor Bob Hoskins (1942), politician Hillary Clinton (1947), singer-songwriter/bass player Bootsy Collins (1951), singer-songwriter/producer David Was (1952), guitarist/songwriter Keith Strickland (1953), actress Rita Wilson (1956), actor Dylan McDermott (1961), actor Cary Elwes (1962), singer-songwriter/pianist Natalie Merchant (1963), actor/producer Seth MacFarlane (1973), wrestler CM Punk (1978), actor Sam Brown (1981), and figure skater Greg Zuerlein (1988).

Okay. I’m sure plenty of other things have happened, but these are the things I thought you should know about. Starting soon, we’re going to be doing a deep dive into the specific House and Senate races for 2024 that we can use to ensure our country continues on a path of fairness and justice for all. Enjoy your day.

Random News: October 25, 2023

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s October 25, 2023, and it’s a Wednesday. Yesterday was a huge news day. Let me see how much of it I can impart to you in the story time I have.

• God, where to even start?
• Okay.
• The long-running joke that is the Republican’s process of choosing a new Speaker of the House got even more hilarious yesterday morning after a secret internal ballot had them select Rep. Tom Emmer (R-MN) as the newest Speaker candidate.
• Minutes after this info became public, the shit hit the fan in MAGAland.
• First came the news that a multitude of GOP Reps went on record saying they would not support Emmer’s bid for Speaker… far more than that razor-thin margin of 4-5 no-votes required for election.
• Then well-known MAGA personalities on social media began stating that they’d primary any member of the House GOP who supported Emmer.
• And then, the Dumpalumpagus weighed in…
• “I have many wonderful friends wanting to be Speaker of the House, and some are truly great Warriors. RINO Tom Emmer, who I do not know well, is not one of them. He never respected the Power of a Trump Endorsement, or the breadth and scope of MAGA-MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN! He fought me all the way, and actually spent more time defending lIhan Omar, than he did me- -He is totally out-of-touch with Republican Voters. Voting for a Globalist RINO like Tom Emmer would be a tragic mistake!”
• Hahahahahaha… god, what an idiot.
• And of course, moments after Trump wrote that, Emmer dropped out of the Speaker race. His chance of being Speaker lasted, oh, about four hours.
• They are all so deeply fucked, it just boggles the mind.
• Later in the day, more pointless candidates for House speaker emerged (or rejoined the fray) including Reps. Byron Donalds (R-FL), Chuck Fleischmann (R-TN), Mark Green (R-TN), Mike Johnson (R-LA), and Roger Williams (R-TX).
• After meeting again behind closed doors, the latest sacrificial lamb was chosen, and it’s Mike Johnson. Among the 221 Republicans, Johnson won 128, Donalds received 29 votes, Kevin McCarthy (who was not a nominee) received 43 votes, and there was one other vote for another unnamed candidate.
• Johnson is a complete piece of shit. He was a former right-wing radio host from Louisiana who was first elected to Congress in 2016. He voted against certifying the 2020 presidential election results. And Trump likes him.
• If something happens in 2024 like it did in 2020, Johnson would subvert the voters of America and hand the Presidency to Trump.
• Will Johnson get the necessary 217 votes in a floor vote? We’ll find out soon, but I think the GOP has been deeply embarrassed by this process thus far and perhaps more willing to compromise. It wouldn’t surprised me if Johnson got the gavel.
• We may see today.
• Moving on.
• Mark Meadows, the former chief of staff to the former guy, has spoken with special counsel Jack Smith's team at least three times this year, including once before a federal grand jury, which came only after Smith granted Meadows immunity to testify under oath.
• Apparently, Meadows informed Smith's team that he repeatedly told Trump in the weeks after the 2020 presidential election that the allegations of significant voting fraud coming to them were baseless. Meadows also told the federal investigators Trump was being "dishonest" with the public when he first claimed to have won the election only hours after polls closed in November 2020.
• Meadows privately told Smith's investigators that even to this day, he has yet to see any evidence of fraud that would have kept now-president Joe Biden from the White House. He told them he agrees with a government assessment at the time that the 2020 presidential election was the most secure election in U.S. history.
• Under the immunity order from Smith's team, the information Meadows provided to the grand jury earlier this year can't be used against him in a federal prosecution. But it’s extremely likely that Meadows — who knows every detail of Dumpy’s nefarious plans — can be expected to testify against El Dumpo at his D.C. trial.
• And Meadows is still facing those charges in Fulton County, GA, where three of Dumples’s lawyers — Sidney Powell, Ken Chesebro, and Jenna Ellis — have already pleased guilty and offered to help the prosecution.
• A little follow-up note on yesterday’s guilty plea from Dump attorney Jenna Ellis. She had been saying that she was going to fight with all her might to defend herself against these spurious charges, and just needed some money to mount her defense.
• So the MAGA community rushed to her aid, and donated $216,431 via a crowdsourcing site.
• Well-known right-wingers spread the word. Figures like Rep. Chip Roy (R-TX), Daily Wire host Ben Shapiro, One America News’ Liz Wheeler, conspiracy theorist Jack Posobiec, Fox Host Mark Levin, Project Veritas founder James O’Keefe, and many others posted links to Ellis’ fundraiser and/or urged their followers to donate.
• Now they’re bigly mad at her.
• “Jenna Ellis scammed all of you who donated to her. I TOLD YOU NOT TO DONATE TO THIS DISLOYAL WENCH… She’s now going to use the money so many of you foolishly gave her to work against President Trump in an election year. Shame on every single MORON who donated to Jenna Ellis.”  - MAGA psycho Laura Loomer
• “Is she pocketing the money? I think she should return it.” Pro-Trump political consultant Alex Bruesewitz
• As you know, Ellis is the fourth person indicted in the Fulton County, GA RICO case to accept a plea deal in exchange for testimony, following bail bondsman Scott Hall, election attorney Sidney Powell, and lawyer Ken Chesebro.
• Tick tock, Donnie.
• Let’s do one more piece of El Dumpo news.
• Dumpy and his former attorney/fixer Michael Cohen came face-to-face in a Manhattan courtroom yesterday, their first in-person meeting since Cohen flipped on his boss five years ago.
• With Dumples looking on angrily, Cohen testified that Dump was at the top of a conspiracy to defraud banks and insurers about his worth.
• "I was tasked by Mr. Trump to increase the total assets based upon a number that he arbitrarily elected. And my responsibility, along with Allen Weisselberg, primarily, was to reverse engineer" the value of Trump Organization assets, Cohen added, "in order to achieve the number that Mr. Trump tasked us."
• Lordy. Cohen is back on the stand right now, delivering his second day of testimony against Dump, who is facing $250 million in damages and being barred from doing business in New York.
• Now let’s move on.
• It’s been awhile since we delved into the topic of the Republican party’s plans to control the bodies of women across America.
• And I told you before about a seemingly dystopian nightmare where women would be stopped on roads by law enforcement to see if they were pregnant.
• Well, Lubbock County, TX has now voted to ban women from using their roads to seek abortions.
• During a meeting on Monday, the Lubbock County Commissioners Court passed an ordinance banning abortion, abortion-inducing drugs and travel for abortion in the unincorporated areas of Lubbock County, declaring Lubbock County a "Sanctuary County for the Unborn."
• The ordinance was passed by a vote of 3-0 by commissioners Terence Kovar, Jason Corley and Jordan Rackler, all Republicans.
• They also made a statement saying travel-related restrictions on abortion is worthy of being placed in every state in America.
• In related news, the Georgia State Supreme Court upheld the state’s six-week abortion ban in a ruling yesterday morning.
• Georgia’s LIFE Act bans abortion when early cardiac activity is detected – which can be as early as six weeks into a pregnancy, when many women don’t yet know they are pregnant.
• You have the power to stop this now. You can vote for candidates who support a woman’s right to have autonomy over her own body and her reproductive choices.
• If we codify abortion rights at the national level, all this bullshit goes away. If we don’t, you or your wife or daughter might be stopped while driving and forced to take a pregnancy test on the roadside. You like that? No? Stop voting for politicians who do.
• Moving on.
• Believe it nor not, some good news out of Washington, D.C.
• The Senate voted 98-0 yesterday to approve President Joe Biden's nominee to lead the Federal Aviation Administration, ending a span of nearly 19 months in which the agency was without a Senate-confirmed chief.
• Michael Whitaker is a former deputy FAA administrator who will take over an agency that faces many challenges, including a surge in close calls between planes at major airports, a shortage of air traffic controllers, and aging technology that resulted in a brief nationwide halt in flights in January.
• More good news? Sure.
• Some genuinely wonderful news out of Franklin, TN, the Nashville suburb where incumbent Mayor Ken Moore easily defeated insane MAGA white supremacist, Christian nationalist Gabrielle Hanson.
• Hanson not only lost; she got creamed. 12,822 votes (79.4%) voted for Moore, compared to Hanson's 3,322 votes (20.6%). Good. Fuck all MAGA pieces of shit.
• Back in Texas, yesterday the state sued the Biden administration, seeking to stop federal agents from cutting the state’s razor wire that has gashed or snagged migrants as they have attempted to enter the U.S. from Mexico at the Rio Grande.
• Attorney General and amazing asshole Ken Paxton accuses the Biden administration of “undermining” the state’s border security efforts.
• Fuck you, Ken.
• Let’s go over to California, where police officers pulled over a pregnant woman and her eight-year-old son at gunpoint while on the way to the boy’s football practice in a case of mistaken identity.
• Shanice Stewart, who is nine months pregnant, said she knew she was not just pulled over for a traffic violation when she saw the police officers had drawn their guns and instructed her to throw her keys out of the window and open the car door with her left hand.
• The officers first believed her son Brandon was an older juvenile suspect with two pending felony warrants. Brandon is eight years old, in third grade, and four feet tall.
• Good job, cops. I wonder… for what reasons that this little boy was mistaken for a dangerous criminal?
• “We must acknowledge that a case of mistaken identity occurred. Our officers provided explanation and an apology to the mother and her son. Our department has been in contact with the mother since the incident. We recognize the impact that police interactions can have on our community members.”
• And now, The Weather: “Do You” by Maple Glider
• Rest in peace to actor Richard Roundtree, who was best known for his performance as the tough-talking private eye “Shaft from 1971. He died yesterday at age 81.
• Pest control company Orkin has released their annual list of the “Rattiest Cities in America”, based on the number of new rodent services and the efforts that residents and businesses of the top cities have taken to treat rodent issues.
• Here’s the top 5: Chicago (leading the way for the ninth consecutive year), followed by Los Angeles, New York City, Washington D.C., and San Francisco.
• Fun fact: everyone hates rats, but everyone loves squirrels (which are basically cuter rats).
• From the Sports Desk… we have a World Series matchup! The AL champion Texas Rangers will host the Arizona Diamondbacks for Game 1 on Friday. 
• How likely was this matchup? Pretty fucking not at all. Betting analysts say the preseason odds of a D-backs-Rangers World Series were +175000. If you had put down $10 on these two teams meeting in the World Series before the season started, you’d have won $17,510 total.
• The Rangers are favored to win this series pretty handily, but we’ll watch the games and see.
• Today in history… Execution of Saints Crispin and Crispinian, the patron saints of leather workers, curriers, and shoemakers (285). Henry V of England, with his lightly armoured infantry and archers, defeats the heavily armoured French cavalry in the Battle of Agincourt (1415). King George III succeeds to the British throne on the death of his grandfather George II (1760). The Battle of Balaclava takes place during the Crimean War (1854). Benjamin O. Davis Sr. is named the first African American general in the United States Army (1940). Adlai Stevenson shows the United Nations Security Council reconnaissance photographs of Soviet ballistic missiles in Cuba (1962). Microsoft releases Windows XP (2001).
• October 25 is the birthday of astronomer Heinrich Schwabe (1789), composer Georges Bizet (1838), businessman John Francis Dodge (1864), artist Pablo Picasso (1881), aviator/explorer Richard E. Byrd (1888), antisemitic piece of shit Charles Coughlin (1891), comedian Minnie Pearl (1912), drummer Earl Palmer (1924), actress Marion Ross (1928), basketball coach Bob Knight (1940), singer-songwriter Helen Reddy (1941), singer-songwriter/multi-instrumentalist Jon Anderson (1944), political consultant James Carville (1944), songwriter/guitarist Glenn Tipton (1947), NFL player John Matuszak (1950), singer-songwriter/guitarist Richard Lloyd (1951), voice actress Nancy Cartwright (1957), drummer Chad Smith (1961), comedian/host Samantha Bee (1969), singer-songwriter/guitarist Ed Robertson (1970), actor Craig Robinson (1971), singer-songwriter/multi-instrumentalist Bat for Lashes (1979), singer-songwriter Katy Perry (1984), and singer-songwriter Ciara (1985).

That’s way too much news. We need less news. I want to wake up some day and be like, “Today, the sun was shining and a dog was barking and butterflies were… flying.” Enjoy your day.