Random News: October 6, 2024

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s October 6, 2024, and it’s a Sunday. I’m up pretty early for a Sunday, already showered and shaved and dressed, for reasons I will explain below. First, let’s get some news rolling.

• The death toll from Helene has risen to at least 227 across six states. Helene is the second deadliest hurricane to strike the United States mainland in the past 50 years, following Hurricane Katrina, which killed at least 1,833 people in 2005.
• The deaths from Helene by state as of yesterday are as follows: North Carolina - 113 people; South Carolina - 48 people; Georgia - 33 people; Florida - 20 people; Tennessee - 11 people; Virginia - 2 people.
• The massive relief effort is ongoing across the devastated region to restore power, rebuild damaged water and cell infrastructure, and get supplies to areas cut off to road access after Helene tore up and washed out roads and bridges.
• I want to give well-deserved credit to a great American for her support of the people affected by Helene: Dolly Parton.
• Parton, along with her companies Dollywood Parks & Resorts, The Dollywood Foundation, Dolly Parton’s Stampede and Pirates Voyage, will partner with Walmart to provide significant donations to flood relief across the Appalachian region.
• She wrote a personal check for $1 million to the Mountain Ways Foundation, a registered charitable organization dedicated to providing immediate assistance to Helene flood victims. 
• Additionally, Dolly’s East Tennessee businesses along with The Dollywood Foundation are combining efforts to match her donation to Mountain Ways with an added $1 million contribution.
• And at Dolly’s urging, Walmart, including Sam’s Club and the Walmart Foundation, are donating a total of $10 million to hurricane relief efforts across the affected states.
• She stated, “Who knew, in our little part of the country here — where I was born and raised, just right down the road — that we would have this kind of devastation? When I look around, I think, ‘These are my mountains, these are my valleys, these are my rivers… these are my people, and this is my home.’"
• Good for her. She will always be remembered for her positive contributions to the world.
• In related news, Vice President Harris took her second trip in four days to an area impacted by Helene, meeting with victims and first responders in North Carolina yesterday.
• She visited a North Carolina Air National Guard base at Charlotte’s airport, where she received a briefing alongside a phalanx of state elected officials. The guard has airlifted more than 100,000 pounds of food to parts of the state most heavily affected by Hurricane Helene.
• Meanwhile, people across Florida were given notice this morning that Milton, for now just a tropical storm off the coast of Mexico, could intensify rapidly into a major hurricane before slamming midweek into the storm-ravaged Gulf Coast.
• We tried for many years to tell people about the effects of manmade climate change. It’s sad, but this pattern of more intense and more frequent severe weather is precisely what was predicted by climate scientists.
• Moving on.
• In a move that definitely falls into the “Too Little, Too Late” file, as Election Day approaches, Republicans are ramping up efforts to distance themselves from the restrictive abortion positions that have defined their party since the 2022 overturning of Roe v. Wade — scrambling to soften, or appear to soften, their hard-line positions.
• Take my advice… do not believe them.
• After years of hardline opposition to women’s reproductive rights, Dump and Vance are all of a sudden becoming real softies on the abortion topic.
• Nearly two-thirds of Americans — spanning both Democratic and Republican voters — say they believe abortion should be legal in all or most cases.
• During JD Vance’s 2022 Senate rune, he described himself as “100 percent pro-life” and ran on a platform promising to “end abortion.”
• Dumpy himself takes credit all the time for having taken away the protections of Roe v. Wade from the women of the USA, now claiming that :everyone” wanted those protections removed.
• A small group of House Republicans and Republican candidates have also shifted their tone on the issue and are espousing a surprising stance — support for abortion rights — while not necessarily backing legal protections proposed by Democrats.
• It’s pretty hilarious. One example is Rep. John Duarte (R-CA), who suddenly described himself as “pro-choice” after having earned positive ratings from multiple hardcore anti-abortion groups because of his anti-choice voting record.
• Again, these fuckers see the writing on the wall. If a candidate has voted time and time again to remove women’s reproductive rights, they will keep doing so over and over in the future.
• This is 100% true.
• Let’s move on.
• Kamala Harris is going on a major blitz of media interviews this week before heading to the west coast as early voting gets underway.
• Harris will sit for interviews in the coming days with radio host Howard Stern, late night host Stephen Colbert on “The Late Show,” and the hosts of “The View.”
• Those appearances are in addition to a previously announced sit-down with “60 Minutes,” which will air Monday, and an appearance on the popular “Call Her Daddy” podcast that will be released today.
• Later in the week, Harris will participate in a Univision town hall event and other campaign stops in Las Vegas on Thursday.
• This would probably be a good place to mention that my ballot arrived yesterday. After an event I’m doing this morning, I’ll be spending some time filling it out and dropping it off at the official dropbox down the street.
• So yes, today is Election Day for me. I’m excited.
• In other news…
• I mentioned the Supreme Court recently (cue evil music and thunder). But tomorrow is the official start of their new term.
• Let’s look into some of the important cases set to be heard — tempered by the possibility that the justices will also be asked to get involved in election disputes. Ugh.
• Transgender rights: the Biden administration and families of transgender minors in Tennessee are challenging a federal appeals court ruling that upheld the state’s ban on gender-affirming care for minors. Roughly half the states have enacted similar restrictions.
• Ghost guns: the administration is appealing a federal appeals court ruling striking down a regulation aimed at reducing the proliferation of hard-to-trace ghost guns, which lack serial numbers.
• Death penalty: Oklahoma’s Republican attorney general has joined with death row inmate Richard Glossip in calling for the high court to throw out Glossip’s conviction and death sentence in a 1977 murder-for-hire scheme.
• Pornography: the adult entertainment industry is challenging a provision of Texas law, upheld by a federal appeals court, mandating that pornographic websites verify the age of their users.
• Mexico’s gun lawsuit: leading U.S. gun manufacturers want the Supreme Court to overturn an appellate ruling keeping alive a $10 billion lawsuit filed by Mexico against over allegations that the companies’ practices are responsible for violence in Mexico.
• Nuclear waste: the Nuclear Regulatory Commissions wants the court to restore licenses it issued for temporary nuclear waste storage facilities in rural New Mexico and Texas after a federal appeals court invalidated them.
• Job discrimination: a woman in Ohio is asking the court to revive her workplace discrimination lawsuit in which she claims she unfairly lost out on state jobs to LGBTQ people, in violation of federal law.
• Flavored vapes: The FDA is asking the justices to overturn a decision that would allow the marketing of sweet e-cigarette products amid concern about a surge in youth vaping in recent years.
• And, as I said, knowing Dumples the Clown, some insane case (or more) will make its way to the SCOTUS while he whines about more imaginary unfairness if he loses the election.
• I mean, let’s have him lose first, and then worry about that other shit later, mmkay?
• In news that will probably surprise no one…
• A rural Colorado county courthouse beefed up security Friday after threats were made against staff and a judge who sentenced former county clerk Tina Peters to nearly nine years behind bars for her role in a data breach scheme to strengthen the lie that the 2020 election was stolen from Dumples the Clown.
• Courthouse staff in Grand Junction, CO received multiple threats that were being vetted by law enforcement while extra security was provided.
• As we reported last week, Peters, a Republican, was sentenced Thursday for allowing access to the county’s election system to a man affiliated with My Pillow chief executive Mike Lindell — a prominent promoter of false claims that voting machines were manipulated to steal the election.
• Peters is one of many people who decided to ruin their lives via support of Dumpy.
• Three people were charged after five vote tabulators were illegally taken from three Michigan counties and brought to a hotel room. Investigators found the tabulators were broken into and “tests” were performed on the equipment.
• Former New York Mayor and current national joke Rudy Giuliani has been disbarred in New York and Washington for pursuing Dumpy’s claims about the 2020 election.
• Other Dump lawyers have been disciplined, relinquished their licenses, indicted, or have pleaded guilty in relation to efforts to overturn the election.
• And of course, hundreds of people have been convicted for their roles in storming the U.S. Capitol on January 6, 2021 in an ill-fated coup attempt as Congress was certifying the Electoral College vote.
• Everything that Trump touches dies. Keep it in mind.
• From the “Utter Incompetence” Desk…
• Brazil's Supreme Court said on Friday that lawyers representing social media platform X, owned by Elmo Muck, did not pay pending fines to the proper bank, postponing its decision on whether to allow the tech firm to resume services in Brazil.
• I repeat… they sent $5 million… to the wrong fucking bank. Way to go, bozos.
• The payment of the fines, which X lawyers argued that the company had paid correctly, is the only outstanding measure demanded by the court in order to authorize X to operate again in Brazil.
• X has been suspended since late August in Brazil, one of its largest and most coveted markets, after not complying with court orders related to hate speech moderation and failing to name a legal representative in the country, as required by law.
• Mucky Muck filed a fresh request to have its services restored in Brazil, saying it had paid all pending fines. But in response to the request, Supreme Court Justice Alexandre de Moraes requested the payment to be transferred to the right bank.
• And now, The Weather: “Window” by Merce Lemon
• Now I’ll tell you why I’m up early.
• I’m having a Zoom call with some members of my newfound genetic relatives. Specifically, a half-sister of my mother that I recently discovered via DNA matching, along with at least one of her children.
• These people would be — genetically speaking — my half-aunt and half-cousin. It’s exciting being able to meet them for the first time. I’m sure I’ll be writing about that encounter later on.
• From the Sports Desk… the first games of the MLB Divisional Series playoffs happened yesterday.
• American League: 2-seed Cleveland 7, 6-seed Detroit 0; 1-seed NY Yankees 6, 5-seed Kansas City 5.
• National League: 6-seed NY Mets 6, 2-seed Philadelphia 2; 1-seed LA Dodgers 7, 4-seed San Diego 5.
• Today in history… Rebels decapitate Wang Mang two days after his capital was sacked during a peasant rebellion (23). ‘Euridice’, the earliest surviving opera, receives its première performance, beginning the Baroque period (1600). Immigrant families found Germantown, Pennsylvania in the first major immigration of German people to America (1683). Phi Mu Alpha Sinfonia, the largest American music fraternity, is founded at the New England Conservatory of Music — side note, I am a Mu Phi alumnus (1898). The Bosnian crisis erupts when Austria-Hungary formally annexes Bosnia and Herzegovina (1908). Opening of ‘The Jazz Singer’, the first prominent "talkie" movie (1927). Egyptian President Anwar Sadat is murdered by Islamic extremists (1981). The first planet orbiting another sun, 51 Pegasi b, is discovered (1995). Instagram, a photo-sharing application, is founded (2010).
• October 6 is the birthday of writer Marie de Gournay (1565), businessman/university founder James McGill (1744), soprano Jenny Lind (1820), engineer/businessman George Westinghouse (1846), pilot Roland Garros (1888), actress Carole Lombard (1908), activist Carolyn Goodman (1915), activist Fannie Lou Harner (1917), actress Britt Ekland (1942), politician Gerry Adams (1948), inventor Lonnie Johnson (1949), TV executive Leslie Moonves (1949), singer-songwriter/guitarist Kevin Cronin (1951), singer-songwriter/guitarist David Hidalgo (1954), NFL player/coach Tony Dungy (1955), actress Elizabeth Shue (1963), singer-songwriter/guitarist Matthew Sweet (1964), politician Steve Scalise (1965), WNBA player Rebecca Lobo (1973), NFL player Trevor Lawrence (1999), and NBA player Bronny James (2004).

I’m pretty excited — and slightly nervous — to meet these blood relatives and to help my new aunt learn more about her genetic background… it’s something I’ve been working on for years, but it’s all new to her, so I have a lot of notes to help that process. Enjoy your day.

Random News: October 5, 2024

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s October 5, 2024, and it’s a Saturday. The sky is a lovely shade of silvery gray, and I’m in a robe, sipping this large cup of Peet’s Major Dickason’s Blend. Seems like a good time to check the news.

• All of the real facts about Hurricane Helene’s destruction are devastating enough, with businesses and homes destroyed, whole communities nearly wiped out, hundreds of lives lost, hundreds of people missing.
• However, that’s not enough for the MAGA world, where misinformation and hoaxes about Helene are clouding the recovery process.
• Extremist groups, disinformation agents, hucksters, and politicians are exploiting the disaster to spread false claims and conspiracy theories about it and the government’s response.
• Donnie Dump, perhaps recalling his own time as president when he withheld help to blue states who’s gone through disasters, is claiming that the federal government is intentionally withholding aid to Republican disaster victims.
• Far-right extremist groups invent lies on social media that officials plan to bulldoze affected communities and seize the land from residents. Paranoid freaks assert that Washington used weather control technology to steer Helene toward Republican voters.
• Do you assume these people are just weirdos in basements? The world’s richest man, Elon Musk, posted a completely false statement to his 200 million followers that private relief flights to North Carolina were being blocked by the Federal Aviation Administration.
• 100% untrue. Fuck you, Elmo.
• Thankfully, there are some sane people who are refuting this bullshit, like North Carolina state Sen. Kevin Corbin, a Republican who urged his constituents not to give into hoaxes.
• This week on Facebook, Corbin posted, “Friends can I ask a small favor? Will you all help STOP this conspiracy theory junk that is floating all over Facebook and the internet... Please don’t let these crazy stories consume you.”
• The reality is that the response to Helene is the largest in North Carolina state history, including thousands of members of the National Guard and other recovery workers, millions of meals, dozens of aircraft, thousands of chainsaws, and more.
• And now, 1,000 soldiers from Fort Liberty's Infantry Battalion Task Force are heading to western North Carolina to help with recovery efforts, per an order from the Commander-in-Chief Joe Biden.
• The troops will join the North Carolina National Guard in delivering supplies, food, and water to isolated communities.
• At local, state, and federal levels, help and aid is being offered to North Carolina and other affected states at unprecedented levels of quantity and speed. regardless of the resources being made available, on a disaster of this scale, these things take time.
• But stop the conspiracy bullshit. It makes matters way worse for everyone involved.
• Let’s move on.
• Here’s some surprising good news form the Supreme Court. It happens so rarely that I note when it comes up.
• Yesterday, the SCOTUS refused to block the Biden administration’s new anti-pollution regulations, rules that impose tougher standards on mercury emissions from coal-fired plants and that regulate methane emissions from crude-oil and natural gas facilities.
• Mercury is a potent neurotoxin, and methane is a potent greenhouse gas. Limiting them is part of the EPA’s effort to fight climate change.
• Industry groups, and some two dozen Republican-run states challenged the rules, going quickly to the Supreme Court to ask that the regulations be blocked while litigation takes place in the lowers courts.
• But the justices— surprisingly, given the way they have handled similar cases in the recent past — rejected the emergency pleas, telling the challengers to litigate their claims in the U.S. Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia before coming to them for help. There were no noted dissents.
• Always remember: businesses want to make their money now. Today. Meet this month’s quota. And the future — even when it includes imminent death or people and animals, and the long-term extinction of our species — is not something that factors into the balance sheet today.
• So my gratitude goes to the SCOTUS on this occasion.
• Moving on.
• Kamala Harris is unstoppable in important swing states. Yesterday, she held two event in Michigan… one in Detroit, and the other in Flint.
• A crowd of thousands cheered as Harris took the stage at the Dort Financial Center in Flint. She spoke about affordable housing, fighting for labor unions, reinstating the protections of Roe v. Wade that were taking away by Dumpy, and encouraged her supporters to research Dumpy’s Project 2025.
• Among many special guests at the Flint rally was Michigan native NBA legend Magic Johnson, who noted, “We have to do all we can to elect Kamala Harris as the next president of the United States. She wants to build up a middle class, and I know something about the middle-class because I come from a middle-class family.”
• In other news…
• Republican Dan Foreman, an Idaho state senator, gave a message to a Democratic candidate this week at a bipartisan forum. He said to the brown-skinned woman, "I’m so sick of your liberal bullshit. Why don’t you go back to where you came from?”
• The candidate, Trish Carter-Goodheart, is a member of the Nez Perce Tribe. The Nez Perce Tribe has lived on the Columbia River Plateau in the Pacific Northwest for more than 11,500 years.
• Where is Carter-Goodheart supposed to go, Dan?
• After being called out on this, Forman doubled down via a social post.
• “Here is a news flash for the lefties out there. There is no systemic racism in America or Idaho,” Foreman said.
• Okay Dan.
• Then he added, “There is no such thing as your self-proclaimed ‘Women’s Reproductive Rights.’”
• Ladies and gentlemen, there you have it; the Republican Party in a sentence. This is why we’re voting for Kamala Harris to be our President in 30 days. And fuck Dan Foreman. I hope he gets eaten by a bear.
• Let’s move on.
• Monday October 7 is the one-year anniversary of Hamas’ attack on Israeli civilians and the ensuing Israel-Hamas conflict in Gaza, and it may be a motivating factor for violent extremists and hate crime perpetrators to engage in violence, the FBI and Department of Homeland Security warned yesterday.
• The statement said that Jewish, Muslim, or Arab venues such as synagogues and mosques present attractive targets for violent attacks or for hoax threats by a variety of threat actors.
• I agree. Be safe out there, Jewish and Muslim friends.
• In other news…
• It’s been awhile since we spoke about the fact that the state of Oklahoma, in direct violation of our country’s rules about the separation of church and state, have mandated Christian bibles in every school classroom.
• Now the situation has gotten worse.
• Oklahoma’s Republican Superintendent of Public Instruction Ryan Walters is defending the process for how the state will select newly mandated Bibles in classrooms after a report was released that the criteria is so narrow that essentially no Bibles qualify — besides ones being sold by Dumpy.
• Yes, you read it correctly.
• Walters has specified a Bible that is bound by leather or material like leather, has the Pledge of Allegiance, Declaration of Independence, U.S. Constitution, and the Bill of Rights, and is the New King James version of the Old and New Testament.
• That criteria leaves only the Dumpy Bible as a choice, and Walters has asked for $3 million to buy 55,000 copies of the Bible — at over $54 each — for Oklahoma classrooms.
• Can you imagining being a non-Christian student who is mandated by law to attend a public school and not only having someone else’s religion forced upon you, but that the tax money in the state is going to line the pockets of Donnie Dump?
• I hope some smart people find ways to sue the living fuck out of the state and Walters himself.
• Let’s move on.
• Back to another story about Hurricane Helene that we have yet to cover here: what happened at a Tennessee business called Impact Plastics.
• 11 of their plant workers were swept away by Hurricane Helene’s deadly floodwaters after they tried to leave the facility. Only five were rescued. Four people who worked at the plant are still missing, and two have been confirmed dead.
• Families of the victims and Impact Plastics workers are outraged, demanding answers about why employees were made to work during extreme weather conditions, and some were told they couldn’t leave as warnings of heavy rainfall in the flood-prone area poured in.
• The company is denying those claims, saying no employee was stopped from leaving. But now two state investigations are looking into the tragedy.
• And two surviving employees are contradicting the claims. They asked if they could leave work after seeing they flooding outside and were told no.
• And Impact Plastics is claiming that there were zero workplace deaths, as the company’s founder says nobody perished on company property.
• Fucking prick.
• And now, The Weather: “Gazing at Footwear” by Being Dead
• From the Sports Desk… I completely fucked up when I wrote that Major League Baseball’s Divisional Series were kicking off yesterday. That’s actually today.
• Here’s the schedule: 
• American League: 6-seed Detroit Tigers at 2-seed Cleveland Guardians, 5-seed Kansas City Royals at 1-seed New York Yankees.
• National League: 6-seed New York Mets at 2-seed Philadelphia Phillies, 4-seed San Diego Padres at 1-seed Los Angeles Dodgers.
• The Divisional Series is best 3 out of 5. Good luck to your team (unless they’re playing the Dodgers… then the opposite of that).
• Today in history… Heraclius arrives at Constantinople, kills Byzantine Emperor Phocas, and becomes emperor (610). King Louis the Pious — my 38th great grandfather — is crowned emperor of the Holy Roman Empire by the Pope (816). Louis IX, Duke of Bavaria expels Jews from his jurisdiction (1450). The Women's March on Versailles effectively terminates royal authority (1789). The Army of the Northwest defeats a British and Native Canadian force threatening Detroit (1813). An aircraft successfully destroys another aircraft with gunfire for the first time (1914). The World Series is the first to be broadcast on radio (1921). A six-month strike by Hollywood set decorators turns into a bloody riot at the gates of the Warner Brothers studio (1945). President Truman makes the first televised Oval Office address (1947). The first of the James Bond film series, based on the novels by Ian Fleming, ‘Dr. No’, is released in Britain (1962). The first Beatles single "Love Me Do" is released in Britain (1962). A reactor at the Enrico Fermi Nuclear Generating Station near Detroit suffers a partial meltdown (1966). The Public Broadcasting Service is founded (1970). Tylenol products are recalled after bottles in Chicago laced with cyanide cause seven deaths (1982). Mass demonstrations in Serbia force the resignation of Slobodan Milošević (2000). 
• October 5 is the birthday of painter Francesco Guardi (1712), US president Chester A. Arthur (1829), film director Louis Lumière (1864), physicist Robert H. Goddard (1882), comedian/actor Larry Fine (1902), businessman Ray Kroc (1902), actor Donald Pleasence (1919), cartoonist Bil Keane (1922), poet/politician Václav Havel (1936), singer-songwriter/guitarist Steve Miller (1943), singer Russell Mael (1948), musician B. W. Stevenson (1949), guitarist Fast Eddie Clarke (1950), singer-songwriter Bob Geldof (1951), keyboardist/composer Harold Faltermeyer (1952), comedian Bernie Mac (1957), astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson (1958), actor Daniel Baldwin (1960), singer-songwriter Pato Banton (1961), NHL player Mario Lemieux (1965), NHL player Patrick Roy (1965), NBA player Rex Chapman (1967), NBA player Grant Hill (1972), and actress Kate Winslet (1975).

Okay. Time to shower and dress myself. Side note: for you Second Life people, I’m playing a very short 10-minute set as part of a huge benefit show at Hotel Chelsea for their hostess A fiya, who’s facing a very serious medical situation. My tiny set is at 3pm, if anyone wants to drop by and donate. Enjoy your day.

Random News: October 4, 2024

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s October 4, 2024, and if you can believe it, it’s a Friday once again! I was concerned last night that I might be coming down with something, but I appear mostly okay this morning, so I’m grateful for that. We have ten tons of news to mention today (which seems to be the new norm), so let’s dive in.

• We don’t talk about polls here. Why not? Look at two back-to-back headlines I saw simultaneously yesterday.
• ‘Trump edges Harris by 1 point in Wisconsin poll’ - The Hill
• ‘Wisconsin poll shows Harris leading Trump by 4’ - Fox News
• Those came out at the same time. I mean, they all fucking suck.
• But here’s another perspective. Data scientist Thomas Miller has crafted a model for forecasting the 2024 presidential election that, he says, is far more reliable than the polling that's constantly cited in the media as the best guide to the outcome on November 5.
• What does he use? Gambling. He built a framework based on the betting odds set by folks wagering their dollars not on the candidate they intend to vote for, but the one they expect to win.
• And his model seems to work. In the 2020 election, he correctly called the presidential race within 12 electoral votes, and he correctly predicted — with perfect margins of victory — that the Democrats would sweep both Georgia Senate seats when the polls all showed the Republicans significantly ahead. 
• So what is Miller predicting for 2024? While most pundits see a dead heat or toss-up based on polling, Miller’s numbers show the Harris-Walz ticket far in the lead and the wide Democrat advantage settling into a remarkably stable pattern.
• I won’t walk you through the details of his methodology, which would take pages. But as of yesterday, Miller has Harris/Walz leading Trump/Vance in the electoral college by 302 to 236, a substantial bulge of 66 electoral votes.
• And here is where I’ll tell you that NOTHING ANYONE SAYS MATTERS unless you have a plan to vote on or before November 5.
• I’m only relaying this info because form time to time, I see people falling into a sense of doom and gloom, which I understand is a defense mechanism to protect your psyche if things take a bad turn.
• But there are plenty of scenarios where Harris blows Dump out of contention by a large margin. It only happens, of course, if you vote. Yes, you.
• And despite that, like Harris herself advises, we should all assume that Harris remains the underdog, and to do everything in our respective power to help get out the vote between now and election day.
• Here in the Los Angeles area, we received notification yesterday that our ballots had been sent and to expect them shortly.
• I will be voting ASAP after they arrive. I am excited as hell.
• Moving on.
• An update on Hurricane Helene and the continuing aftermath…
• The death toll from Helene is now at 213 as rescuers continue to search for survivors from the storm that tore across the Southeast.
• More than half of the deaths were in North Carolina, where entire communities were uprooted and devastated by the deadliest mainland storm since Katrina in 2005.
• Hundreds of people are still missing and nearly a million homes are without power nearly a week after Helene made landfall.Tens of thousands of people still have no running water in North Carolina, which has seen some of the most severe effects of the storm.
• President Biden continued his two-day tour of the area yesterday, visiting Florida and Georgia after visiting NC on Wednesday.
• Donnie Dump has falsely accused Biden of not being responsive to the states impacted by the storm. But maybe he’s just remembering his own previous misdeeds.
• Dump was flagrantly partisan at times in response to disasters, and on at least three occasions, hesitated to give disaster aid to areas he considered politically hostile, or ordered special treatment for pro-Trump states.
• Per Mark Harvey, Dump’s senior director for resilience policy on the National Security Council staff, Dumpy initially refused to approve disaster aid for California after deadly wildfires in 2018 because of the state’s Democratic leanings.
• The only way they could convince that fat orange prick to offer aid to a disaster-stricken US state was by telling him that heavily-damaged Orange County, CA had more MAGA voters than the entire state of Iowa.
• Joe Biden was astounded by this revelation.
• “You can’t only help those in need if they voted for you. It’s the most basic part of being president, and this guy knows nothing about it,” Biden posted.
• In related news, another very important note… the Atlantic hurricane season continues until the end of November.
• And FEMA does not have enough funding to cover any more major hurricane events, which are likely to happen.
• So far, FEMA has provided over $20 million in individual assistance for Hurricane Helene.
• Let’s over on to some great economic news.
• U.S. stocks rallied on Friday after the all-important jobs data came in much stronger than economists expected.
• The Dow was up 242 points. The S&P 500 climbed 0.7%, and the Nasdaq Composite rose 1.1%.
• Jobs were up 254,000 in September, far outpacing the forecasted gain of 150,000. The unemployment rate ticked down to 4.1% despite expectations for it to hold steady at 4.2%.
• Good stuff. Look, you don’t have to be some finance wizard to know that the effects of a good economy are positive for everyone.
• Over to the presidential race for a moment.
• Barack Obama is launching a 27-day campaign sprint for Vice President Kamala Harris next week, starting in Pennsylvania. We all know that Obama carries a lot of weight, and his star power among Democrats can help propel her to the office he once held.
• Openly concerned about Democratic complacency and acutely aware of razor-thin margins in polls, Obama — who, along with his wife, Michelle, is one of the party’s most popular figures — is seeking to help Harris in any way he can.
• Aside from rallies, the former president intends to help Democrats by recording candidate-specific advertisements and lending his name to email solicitations for campaign cash, including for down-ballot races.
• Yes he can.
• In other news…
• A word of warning to anyone planning on taking steps to subvert the free and fair elections of the USA: don’t, or be prepared to pay a very big price.
• Tina Peters, a former Colorado county clerk who promoted 2020 election conspiracy theories, was sentenced yesterday to nine fucking years behind bars for charges including official misconduct in connection with a security breach of Mesa County’s voting system.
• She was convicted of four felony and three misdemeanor charges in August for using another person's security badge to allow someone associated with MyPillow founder and complete asshole Mike Lindell — an ally of Dumpy — access to county election equipment.
• Among the reasons that Peters told the judge as to why she shouldn’t be incarcerated: one, she’s a child of God, and two, she needs a special mattress. I’m 100% serious.
• Nine years, lady. Nine years behind bars for trying to throw the election to a loser who never gave a shit about you. Now you’re a big-ass loser too.
• And in other election news…
• Officials in Georgia, North Carolina, and Florida are working quickly to ensure voters can still securely cast early ballots, despite the devastating storm impacts of Hurricane Helene that have in some cases left them without power, water, and cell service.
• Potential solutions in the affected counties of the three states, which could determine the White House, could include extra polling places, extending early voting, and making it easier to drop off mail ballots.
• “This damage extends far beyond flood damage,” said Karen Brinson Bell, executive director of the North Carolina State Board of Elections. “There may be polling places inaccessible because of damaged roads. There may be polling places with trees that have fallen on them.”
• Add to that the problems of mail service having been paused in a wide swath of zip codes in the three states, presenting fresh challenges to delivering and receiving mail-in ballots.
• And yet another potential concern is the number of poll workers available given the circumstances, especially if the workload may increase. They may consider an emergency authority to expand who can become a poll worker at a precinct.
• One thing that shouldn’t be a concern: the integrity of the election. In North Carolina, like many places, all of those ballots have tracking. Thanks to the tracking system, election officials can void mail ballots that were already delivered to homes that are now destroyed. New mail ballots can then be issued to voters and sent to their current location.
• Moving on.
• The FBI and Microsoft have seized more than 100 web domains that Russian intelligence used for cyber-espionage.
• The domains were allegedly staging grounds for Russia’s FSB intelligence agency in its ongoing efforts to spy on targets of interest, ranging from the U.S. Department of Energy to Russian nonprofits and media outlets critical of the Kremlin.The FBI said in an affidavit that the websites were used as part of a “spear phishing campaign,” a term for targeted efforts to trick people into divulging sensitive information, usually email login credentials.
• Once they grab your login, you’re fucked. Some advice: just never click anything from your email. Literally nothing.
• Let’s do some politics news.
• Rep. Mike Lawler (R-NY), who is locked in a tight race for reelection, apologized yesterday for wearing blackface as part of a Michael Jackson costume when he was in college. 
• A photo of Lawler's Halloween costume from 2006 was published by the New York Times yesterday. He confirmed the authenticity of the photo, saying the costume was meant to be "the sincerest form of flattery." 
• I gotta say, by 2006, people knew that wearing blackface was super fucked up. This isn’t a “we didn’t know better back then” situation.
• Fuck Mike Lawler. The most recent poll shows Lawler with a narrow advantage over his opponent. former Democratic Rep. Mondaire Jones, in the lower Hudson Valley’s battleground 17th District. Vote for Jones, an actual Black person.
• Let’s move back to some more justice news.
• Three former Memphis police officers were convicted yesterday in the 2023 fatal beating of Tyre Nichols, but were acquitted of the harshest charges they faced for a death that sparked national protests and calls for broad changes in policing.
• It was a mixed verdict for Tadarrius Bean, Demetrius Haley, and Justin Smith. All three were convicted of witness tampering related to the cover-up of the beating, but Bean and Smith were acquitted of civil rights charges.
• Haley was acquitted of violating Nichols’ civil rights causing death, but convicted of the lesser charge of violating his civil rights causing bodily injury. He was also convicted of a conspiracy to witness tamper charge that the others were acquitted of.
• Five officers had been charged in Nichols’ death, but two pleaded guilty and testified against members of their old crime suppression unit.
• Does it seem fair? Probably not… but I don’t have to tell you how rare it is that cops face any justice at all for acts of brutality.
• Quote of the day: "Yes they can control the weather. It’s ridiculous for anyone to lie and say it can't be done.” - Marjorie Taylor Greene, an actual fucking Congresswoman
• From the “You Fucking People” Desk… toilet paper shortages in stores across America are giving folks nightmarish reminders of the pandemic era. But the lack of toilet paper isn’t a direct result of a major port strike. It’s because of panic buying.
• So again, to be clear: there’s plenty of toilet paper. The reason it’s not on the shelves is because You Fucking People are buying it in bulk and hoarding it.
• And, may I add, why the obsession with TP? Yes, we all need to wipe our asses. But there are lots of things we need to do. Eat. Drink. Stay warm and/or cool. Why is the first thing always toilet paper?
• The strike at ports from Maine to Texas had absolutely zero impact on the supply of TP. The overwhelming majority — more than 90% by some estimates — of US toilet paper consumption comes from domestic factories.
• Most of the rest comes from Canada and Mexico, which means it arrives by rail or truck, not ship.
• If you want to worry about an imported product, imports account for nearly 100% of the US supply of bananas, America’s most popular fruit by volume, and more than half of banana imports come in through the ports being struck.
• In fact, more than a quarter of the bananas we eat in the USA come in through just one port in Wilmington, DE.
• But of course, bananas have a short shelf life, so fortunately you can’t hoard them like you do your precious ass-wiping supplies.
• And now a pertinent side note: yesterday afternoon, the entire strike was averted. The unions agreed to a tentative deal on wages and have extended their existing contract through January 15 to provide time to negotiate a new contract.
• So — despite it having had nothing to do with the strike — you can now wipe your butts with gleeful abandon, assuming a few of you paranoid and selfish ones aren’t hoarding all of the TP.
• You. Fucking. People.
• In other news…
• Mark Chavez, one of the two doctors charged in connection with Matthew Perry’s death, has pleaded guilty to one count of conspiracy to distribute ketamine.
• Chavez formally pleaded guilty to conspiring to distribute ketamine to Perry, who died in October 2023 due to acute effects of the anesthetic and subsequent drowning. He was 54.
• The judge set Chavez’s sentencing for April 2, 2025. He’s facing up to ten years in prison, which is the maximum recommended sentence outlined in the plea agreement.
• Chavez and Dr. Salvador Plasencia are among the five people who have been charged in connection with the death of the beloved actor.
• And now, The Weather: “Ganon” by Lutalo
• From the Sports Desk… the 6-seed Mets beat the 3-seed Brewers 4-2 yesterday, punching their ticket to the NLDS, where they’ll face the Phillies.
• All four Game 1’s of the Divisional Series happen today.

• In NFL news, last night the Atlanta Falcons surprised the Tampa Bay Buccaneers 36-30 in an overtime win. Kirk Cousins had a career night, throwing for over 500 yards and four touchdowns.
• Today in history… the Battle of Lake Poyang, one of the largest naval battles in history, has Zhu Yuanzhang's rebels defeat rival Chen Youliang (1363). The Gregorian Calendar is introduced by Pope Gregory XIII (1582). The Swedish Army defeats the armies of Saxony and the Holy Roman Empire at the Battle of Wittstock (1636). Mexico adopts a new constitution and becomes a federal republic (1824). The Crimean War begins when the Ottoman Empire declares war on the Russian Empire (1853). The Agricultural and Mechanical College of Texas opens as the first public college in Texas (1876). First run of the Orient Express (1883). Gutzon Borglum begins sculpting Mount Rushmore (1927). The Metropolitan Police and various anti-fascist organizations violently clash in the Battle of Cable Street in London (1936). Sputnik 1 becomes the first artificial satellite to orbit the Earth (1957). Richard Noble sets a new land speed record of 633.468 miles per hour (1,019.468 km/h) at the Black Rock Desert in Nevada (1983). Battle of Mogadishu occurs killing 18 U.S. Special Forces, two UN Peacekeepers and at least 600 Somalian militia men and civilians (1993). WikiLeaks is launched (2006). Bubba Wallace becomes the first African-American Driver in the modern era of NASCAR to win a major race (2021).
• October 4 is the birthday of Louis X of France (1289), politician Richard Cromwell (1626), entomologist Nikolaus Poda von Neuhaus (1723), US president Rutherford B. Hayes (1822), painter Frederic Remington (1861), actor Buster Keaton (1895), activist Mary Two-Axe Earley (1911), inventor/businessman Ken Wood (1916), actor Charlton Heston (1923), author/futurist Alvin Toffler (1928), NFL player Sam Huff (1934), author Anne Rice (1941), MLB player/manager Tony La Russa (1944), actress/activist Susan Sarandon (1946), actor Christoph Waltz (1956), actor Bill Fagerbakke (1957), music executive Russell Simmons (1957), NBA player A. C. Green (1963), actor Liev Schreiber (1967), singer-songwriter M. Ward (1973), actress Alicia Silverstone (1976), NBA player Derrick Rose (1988), and actress Dakota Johnson (1989).

Well, I know that was a lot of news, but you know, a lot of things happen. And when I purposefully choose not to cover something, isn’t that a form of propaganda? Sometimes what you don’t learn is as important — and purposeful — as what you do. Something to keep in mind. Enjoy your day.

Random News: October 3, 2024

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s October 3, 2024, and it’s a Thursday for some reason. I’m just getting my day started, as usual, and I’m feeling pretty positive about the day thus far. Let’s dive into the news and hope to maintain that sense of optimism.

• I know it seems pointless to keep pointing out information about the crimes of Donald J. Trump. You’ve seen him accused, charged, and even convicted over and over again with no sign of justice seemingly coming through.
• But while he may never see the inside of a jail cell where he undoubtedly belongs many times over, it’s very important not to shrug and assume he will skate away from his serious crimes forever.
• That’s why it’s important that you be aware of yesterday’s newly unsealed court filing from prosecutors that offers new evidence from the landmark criminal case against the Dumpster.
• The filing from special counsel Jack Smith’s team offers the most comprehensive view to date of what prosecutors intend to prove if the case charging Trump with conspiring to overturn the election reaches trial.
• The filing cites previously unknown accounts offered by Dump’s closest aides to paint a portrait of an “increasingly desperate” president who while losing his grip on the White House “used deceit to target every stage of the electoral process.”
• Dump laid the groundwork to try to overturn the 2020 election even before he lost, knowingly pushed false claims of voter fraud, and “resorted to crimes” in his failed bid to cling to power.
• It’s all pretty damning. Example: in one case, a campaign employee (described as a Dump co-conspirator) was told that results favoring Biden at a Michigan polling center appeared accurate. They replied: “find a reason it isn’t” and “give me options to file litigation.”
• The filing is filled with examples of Dump and people he directed to knowingly makes illegal acts that were far outside the realm of his presidency and the immunity protection offered by it.
• The brief was made public over the Dump legal team’s objections.
• Good. Fuck them. This is literally about crimes he committed while trying to illegally overturn the last election. The time to prevent him trying it again for this election is NOW. There is no other time.
• As most of you know, the issue surfaced as recently as Tuesday night’s vice presidential debate when Tim Walz lamented the violence at the Capitol while JD Vance refused to directly answer when asked whether Dump had lost the 2020 race.
• They are planning everything they can think of to corrupt this coming election, which is only 33 days away.
• The purpose of the brief is to persuade U.S. District Judge Tanya Chutkan that the offenses charged in the indictment were undertaken in Dumpy’s private — rather than presidential — capacity, and can therefore remain part of the case as it moves forward.
• Chutkan permitted a redacted version to be made public yesterday even though Dump’s lawyers argued that it was unfair to unseal it so close to the election. Again, fuck them and fuck him too.
• If Dump wins the presidency, he will immediately appoint a new attorney general who will dismiss the entire case.
• Do not let justice to be perverted like that. Continue to prosecute the criminal, and let’s make sure to vote Kamala Harris into office so that justice has a chance of being served.
• Moving on.
• The confirmed death toll for Hurricane Helene rose to at least 189 people as of last night. That makes it the deadliest hurricane since Katrina to hit the mainland U.S.
• As we’re all aware by now, the storm surge, wind damage, and inland flooding from Helene have been catastrophic. Neighborhoods have been flooded, residents stranded, and a horrible number of homes destroyed from Florida to Georgia, South Carolina, Virginia, Tennessee, and especially North Carolina.
• President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris were there in the region yesterday to survey the destruction while rescuers keep searching for the missing.
• Biden told a crowd in Raleigh, NC, "I'm here to say the United States -- the nation -- has your back. We’re not leaving till you're back on your feet completely."
• There were still some 1.2 million people without power as of yesterday, though there seems to be some progress in getting people reconnected. South Carolina alone had nearly a half million homes without power.
• Biden also made the rare move of directing the deployment of up to one thousand active-duty soldiers to reinforce the North Carolina National Guard in efforts to assist the people stricken by the storm.
• They’ll speed up the delivery of life-saving supplies of food, water, and medicine to isolated communities in North Carolina, with the manpower and logistical capabilities to get this vital job done, and fast.
• It’s at times like these that we should all be grateful to have competent leadership.
• Let’s move on.
• Today, Republican Liz Cheney will join Democrat Kamala Harris at a campaign event in Wisconsin aimed at reaching out to moderate voters and rattling the Dumpster.
• Cheney was the top Republican on the House committee that investigated the January 6, 2021 insurrection, earning Dump’s disdain and effectively exiling herself from her own party. She endorsed Harris, the Democratic nominee, last month. 
• Harris is opening a two-day stay in Wisconsin and Michigan, grappling for wins in the “blue wall” battleground states, which also include Pennsylvania.
• Cheney and her father, the former Vice President under George W. Bush, are both backing Harris. They’re part of a cadre of current and former Republican officials who have broken with the vast majority of their party, who remain immersed in the MAGA cult.
• Moving on.
• Here’s a name I haven’t mentioned in (checks notes)… ever, maybe?
• Melania Trump, the, uh, wife, I guess, of Donnie Dumpster, stunned pro-life activists by writing in her new book, “Why should anyone other than the woman herself have the power to determine what she does with her own body? A woman’s fundamental right of individual liberty, to her own life, grants her the authority to terminate her pregnancy if she wishes."
• She continues, "Restricting a woman's right to choose whether to terminate an unwanted pregnancy is the same as denying her control over her own body. I have carried this belief with me throughout my entire adult life."
• Well, I fully agree with Mrs. Trump. How about that?
• And it’s weird that Dump has stated multiple times that “everyone” wanted Roe v. Wade overturned… but forgot to ask his own wife about it.
• Forced-birth activists lost their shit over Melania’s revelation, which is very much at odds with Dumpy’s claim that he takes full credit for the Supreme Court's overturning of Roe v. Wade, which ended the nationwide right to abortion.
• The anti-abortion fanatics are roiling with shock and outrage. I’m not sure why. Dump and his wife and family have never been conservatives. He just took away the party of conservatives and used it for his own benefit. It’s not hard to understand.
• You all got swindled and now you keep giving your best efforts and resources to the guy who fucked you. Maybe it’s too embarrassing to admit, so you double down on it.
• Anyway, not many people are talking about the fact that Melania has rarely been seen with Dump for this entire election cycle as he campaigns for a second term.
• Maybe she just doesn’t give a shit anymore? That’s my guess.
• In other news…
• That Fat Orange Ass is promising to remove Temporary Protected Status and deport the Haitian migrants in Springfield, OH. 
• “Absolutely I’d revoke it and I’d bring them back to their country,” said Dumpy, clearly showing his lack of understanding of how the USA works.
• Temporary Protected Status allows migrants to stay in the U.S. when their countries are unsafe to return to. In many cases, the countries are undergoing armed conflict; environmental disasters and other conditions can also lead to TPS being granted.
• There are currently 16 countries whose citizens have TPS in the U.S. There are over 860,000 people in the U.S. with the temporary status.
• If you’re interested, those countries are Afghanistan, Burma (Myanmar), Cameroon, El Salvador, Ethiopia, Haiti, Honduras, Nepal, Nicaragua, Somalia, South Sudan, Sudan, Syria, Ukraine, Venezuela,  and Yemen.
• Again, these people are here legally. Just because not all of them are white doesn’t mean they’re illegal.
• Let’s move on.
• Do you know anyone who was stupid enough to buy a Tesla Cybertruck? If so, it’s time for them to send it back yet again.
• Tesla is recalling more than 27,000 Cybertrucks because the rearview camera image may not activate immediately after shifting into reverse. It’s the fifth recall for the vehicle since it went on sale late last year.
• In June, there was a recall to fix problems with trim pieces that can come loose and front windshield wipers that can fail. Two months before that, some Cybertrucks were recalled because the accelerator pedal could stick.
• In the most recent recall, the company notified the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration that the display screens in effected trucks may remain blank for up to 8 seconds after a driver shifts to reverse.
• The U.S. requires those screens to activate with a rearview within 2 seconds of shifting into reverse.
• Piece of shit car.
• And now, The Weather: “Burning Wings” by Allegra Krieger
• From the Sports Desk… the Wild Card round in MLB playoffs is wrapping up quickly.
• In the American League, the Tigers won their series over the Astros 2-0 with a 5-2 win yesterday. They’ll face the 2-seed Guardians in the ALDS. Same goes for the Royals, who took out the Orioles with a 2-1 win yesterday. They’ll face the 1-seed Yankees.
• In the National League, the 4-seed Padres also knocked out the 5-seed Braves in two games. San Diego will face the 1-seed Dodgers in the NLDS. The only Wild Card Series yet to be determined is the battle between the 6-seed Mets and 3-seed Brewers, who are tied 1-1. The winner of that series will face the 2-seed Phillies.
• Today in history… Vercingetorix, leader of the Gauls, surrenders to the Romans under Julius Caesar (52 BC). George Washington proclaims a Thanksgiving Day for that year (1789). The last Thursday in November is declared as Thanksgiving Day by U.S. President Abraham Lincoln (1863). Cincinnati Reds pitcher Adolfo Luque becomes the first Latin American player to appear in a World Series (1919). The Kingdom of Serbs, Croats and Slovenes is renamed to Yugoslavia by King Alexander I (1929). The Kingdom of Iraq gains independence from the United Kingdom (1932). WERD, the first black-owned radio station in the United States, opens in Atlanta (1949). The United Kingdom successfully tests a nuclear weapon in Australia to become the world's third nuclear power (1952). The California State Superior Court rules that the book ‘Howl and Other Poems’ is not obscene (1957). The Space Shuttle Atlantis makes its maiden flight (1985). The German Democratic Republic is abolished and becomes part of the Federal Republic of Germany (1990). O. J. Simpson is acquitted of the murders of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman (1995). 
• October 3 is the birthday of tribal chief John Ross (1790), novelist Thomas Wolfe (1900), novelist Gore Vidal (1925), composer Steve Reich (1936), singer-songwriter/guitarist Eddie Cochran (1938), singer-songwriter Chubby Checker (1941), poet/songwriter/activist John Perry Barlow (1947), singer-songwriter/guitarist Lindsey Buckingham (1949), saxophonist Ronnie Laws (1950), musician/songwriter Keb’ Mo’ (1951), astronaut Kathryn D. Sullivan (1951), MLB player Dave Winfield (1951), NFL coach Bruce Arians (1952), MLB player Dennis Eckersley (1954), minister/activist Al Sharpton (1954), singer-songwriter/guitarist Stevie Ray Vaughn (1954), songwriter/bass player Allen Woody (1955), golfer Fred Couples (1959), comedian Greg Proops (1959), actor Clive Owen (1964), filmmaker Denis Villeneuve (1967), singer-songwriter Gwen Stefani (1969), actress Neve Campbell (1973), singer-songwriter India Arie (1975), songwriter/guitarist Josh Klinghoffer (1979), NFL player Anquan Boldin (1980), singer-songwriter Ashlee Simpson (1984), rapper ASAP Rocky (1988), and NFL player C. J. Stroud (2001).

That’s enough for now. Enjoy your day.

Hotel Chelsea (10.01.24)

Enjoying some Tuesday night magic at Hotel Chelsea. Photo by Kat.

Hello there, friends and various readers and people of the word. It is I, Zak Claxton, the guy whose blog you read for some reason, here to tell you about my recent live music show at Hotel Chelsea in Second life. But, as I am apt to do, I'm going to tell you a bunch of unrelated shit first.

Unrelated?

Funny that I would use that word, because actually... this is all about relations. As Madonna once sang, I have a tale to tell. And as she also sang, "Hope I live to tell the secret I have learned, 'til then, it will burn inside of me." Okay, enough with the Madonna. I don't know where that came from. But I do have a long-ass story to relay to whomever wants to read it, and it's about where I came from.

Start at the Start

Yes, that seems wise, but we're going to leave out the identifying information for reasons that will shortly become apparent. In 2019 or thereabouts, my mother took a DNA test through 23andMe. I don't know why she did it. But when her results came in, she was entirely shocked to find that her genetic ancestry was about 50% Ashkenazi Jew. Let it be noted that neither of her parents, to the best of her knowledge, were Jewish. We had often speculated that some of our physical characteristics, like our skin tone and curly hair, possibly came from a far-removed African American relative, but no... we were Jews.

My mom, not being quite as savvy at tech and research as I am, was unable to ever uncover specific information about who her biological father was. And to be honest, I'm not sure she wanted to know, thereby upsetting the apple cart of her familial background. Me? I was totally cool with it; I've been close friends with many Jewish people over the course of my life, and it was fun to let them know the news that I was, at least in part, part of their tribe.

Me and my mom in about 1973. I seem to be around four there.

So I'm 25% Jewish, Right? Right? Wait, What?

This is where things get more weird. If my mom was 50% Ashkenazi Jew and my dad -- who passed away in 2017 and was no longer around to ask -- was a guy with almost 100% German heritage, my own DNA would show about 75% German background and 25% Jew. With me so far?

In 2022, I decided to take my own test, expecting the results per above. But that's not what I got. Instead, my genetics showed me as being almost 80% Ashkenazi Jew, with the remaining 20% being English and smidgens of various Northern European heritage. But there was no specific German DNA at all in my background. But that made no sense at all. I had to sit there thinking through the genetic math as if it were a calculus proof instead of simple arithmetics.

That's when I called my mom, who -- upon finding out that I'd taken a DNA test -- had recently made mention of us having a nice lunch and chatting about various things. That suggestion was odd and out of character for her, but it turned out there was no need for the nice lunch.

My mom and me, Lobsterfest, June 2022.

The Call

I rang up my mom and told her I'd received the results of my DNA test. There was a foreboding silence on the other end of the line, so I continued.

"So," I started. "I am about 80% Ashkenazi Jew."

"Uh huh," said my mom in a very unsurprised voice.

"And the way I figure it, there are really only a few logical possibilities as to why I am 80% Jew and not 25% Jew."

"Such as?" asked Mom, using the voice of a person who doesn't want to be in a conversation.

"Well, Dad could have been Jewish and for some reason never mentioned it. Or, perhaps Dad was adopted, was unaware, and never knew he had Jewish ancestry," I offered.

"Yes, I suppose those are possibilities," said my mom.

I continued, "But Dad didn't look Jewish at all. Nothing about him makes me think of someone who had any Jewish genetics."

Mom was silent on the other end of the call, so I went ahead.

"The third possibility, and the one I find most plausible... is that my dad was not my dad, biologically speaking."

There was a brief silence before my mom replied.

"Do you hate me?" she asked.

"Of course not," I said. "But maybe we can stop this guessing shit and you can just tell me."

The genes don't lie. I went from being not at all Jewish to having a half-Jewish mother and fully Jewish biological father and ending up about 80% Jewish myself. And I promise, a good portion of you aren't exactly who you think you are, either. The odds are too high for it to be any other way.

The Recap

For the first 50 years of my life, I thought I knew my genetic background. It turned out that not only was my material grandfather not my mom's dad, but that my own dad was not, biologically speaking, my dad either. How about that?

And the funny thing is that had my grandmother or my mother simply connected with men who were of a more similar genetic makeup as their spouses, I'd almost certainly never have had reasons to deep-dive into my genetics to determine the truth. But life is funny that way; things happen, and then it's up to you to choose how you react.

In my case, I'm fine with everything. I'm not going to walk around all mad and judgmental about things that people did in their youth, many decades ago. My mom ended up passing away in February 2023. Before she died, she gave me enough information to determine who my biological father was. We'll save that story for another day. For now, I want to talk about a recent connection via my biological grandfather... her dad.

But first, to be clear: my dad, the man who raised me from birth... that is my dad. Nothing about this genetic research changes one iota of how I loved and respected that man. Biology takes a big back seat to the act of parenting, and my dad was a caring and fun person who I'm proud to have had as the male role model in my life. Just wanted everyone to know my feelings in that regard.

DNA Tests... The Gift That Keeps On Giving

One thing you may find if you take a DNA test... the information you get initially isn't the end of the story, especially in situations like mine where you have surprises in your genetic background. Other people choose to take their own tests as time goes by, and one day, you may receive a notification that you have a relative of whom you were previously unaware. Typically, this might be the child of a cousin, or a more distant relative that you'd not known before.

But in my case, about a month ago, I got contacted by a person via the Ancestry site, where I'd also submitted DNA for testing. Looking at her DNA match to mine, it was apparent that she was a rather close relation; we shared 966 cM, or about 14% shared DNA.

Have I been successful at researching my lineage? Yeah, you could say that. I've traced some lines back close to 1,500 years. I have an interesting family.

In genetics, a centimorgan (abbreviated cM) is a unit for measuring genetic linkage. Without getting too geeky about it, one centimorgan represents a 1% chance that a recombination event will occur between two places along the length of the chromosome. So simply put, the higher the number, the closer the relative. After chatting with this person -- and seeing that we were connected through my maternal line -- I felt sure that she was likely a child of the same man who'd fathered my mother.

Test Twice To be Nice

I didn't want to leave this up to speculation, so I advised her to try a test on 23andMe, where my mom's genes had been tested. And that leads us up to this very morning, when her results came back.

She is indeed my mom's half sister, making her my half aunt. They share the same father. It's proven and unquestionable. The DNA leaves no room for interpretation. Funnily enough, the way she initially discovered that her own genetics were different than she'd been led to believe was exactly the same as my mom's... by seeing that she was about 50% Ashkenazi Jew, and wondering why that was the case.

I should note here that while she and her family are complete strangers to me, they seem very nice -- today, I was also introduced to one of her daughters (my new half cousin), and we chatted a bit via messaging on social media.

On this coming Sunday, we've set up a Zoom call so I can try to explain my aunt's genetic background. She expressed regret that my mom had passed away before they'd had a chance to meet, and that's understandable; it would have been a close relation (a half sister) with similar stories, and with whom she could have compared information and so on. But she also said that she was very happy to have a new nephew, and I absolutely will welcome her as a relative of mine.

All of my immediate family I had growing up -- my father, my mother, and my younger sister -- are dead and gone. And of course, I have my own family and some scattered extended relatives here and there, as do most of us. But getting to know my new aunt and helping her understand her own genetic background is a pleasure. I'm very much looking forward to it, and that's where things stand as of now.

Um... the Show, Though?

Oh yeah! I knew there was a more specific reason I started writing all this shit.

So yes, on the first Tuesday of each month, I do a show at Hotel Chelsea, and this one went particularly well. We had a decent-sized crowd show up, and I couldn't tell you why, but from the get-go, everything was just working. My voice. My guitar. My fucking broadcast stream, which had failed me at my previous SL show.

It's nice when things work. Photo by Kat.

One notable moment that I wanted to mention. I started into the chord progression of Nirvana's "Polly," and at that moment remembered the bonkers story about the daughter of Kurt Cobain -- Francis Bean Cobain -- and the song of skateboard king Tony Hawk -- Riley Hawk -- who had met, married last year, and just had a son in September. And I told that story while strumming through those four chords, and ended it by opining, "If your grandparents were Kurt Cobain and Tony Hawk, you're automatically the coolest fucking child that was ever born."

It was just by happenstance that I pulled out a bunch of tunes that I hadn't done in a good long while, some harkening back to my shows of 10+ years ago, because...

I got a surprise visit from my friend Triana Caldera, who was present for many of my shows back in the late '00 and '10s. Photos by Kat.

I wanted to mention that my set list at this show was full of tunes that a) I hadn't played in awhile and b) were among those that I was doing quite a long time ago, having performed in SL going back to 2006, and having done live shows in real life since I was a high school student in the '80s. Several of the songs I did last night at Hotel Chelsea hadn't seen the light of day in my set list for about a decade. That's the nice thing about music; it doesn't go away. It just takes a vacation every so often.

Hotel Chelsea set list...

Pink Moon (Nick Drake)

Help Me (Joni Mitchell)

The Needle and the Damage Done (Neil Young)

Mad World (Tears for Fears)

Walk On the Wild Side (Lou Reed)

This Afternoon (Zak Claxton)

For What It's Worth (Buffalo Springfield)

Polly (Nirvana)

Things Under Trees (They Stole My Crayon)

Never Run Away (Kurt Vile)

Bertha (Grateful Dead)

Psycho Killer (Talking Heads)

Big thanks to everyone who came out to the show, with super big extra huge thanks to the following folks who helped support it!

Triana Caldera, Persephone Phoenix, Katya Kaestner, cristoofarr Resident, Richy Nervous, Cactusboss Resident, Kat Claxton, Clemoff Independent, my terrific manager Maali Beck, Hotel Chelsea manager Shyla the Super Gecko, and Chelsea's great staff!

Random News: October 1, 2024

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s October 1, 2024, and it’s a Tuesday. We have a ridiculous amount of news to get through, so let’s jump right in.

• But first…
• Rabbit rabbit rabbit.
• True Story: I have been saying “rabbit rabbit rabbit” at the start of every month, and I’ve never died. Not even once. Therefore, that saying must be what’s keeping me alive and well.
• This might be a good time to look into the truism, ”Correlation does not imply causation.”
• Let’s get rolling with some news.
• Days after Hurricane Helene’s deluge, hundreds of people are still missing in the Asheville, NC area. Thousands more remain imperiled due to lack of water and power or safe living conditions.
• Emergency workers have toiled around the clock to clear roads, restore power and phone service, and reach people stranded by the storm.
• At least 133 people are confirmed dead so far across the Southeast, a toll expected to rise by a lot.
• And making matters worse: yesterday, Donald Dump went out of his way to repeatedly spread falsehoods about the federal response to the disaster as he toured hard-hit areas in south Georgia.
• He claimed that President Joe Biden was “sleeping” and not responding to Georgia Gov. Brian Kemp, claiming Kemp was “calling the president and hasn’t been able to get him.” He repeated the claim at an event with reporters after being told Kemp said he had spoken to Biden.
• In reality, Biden had been in touch with Kemp over the weekend, as well as North Carolina Gov. Roy Cooper, Scott Matheson, mayor of Valdosta, GA, and Florida Emergency Management Director John Louk. Kemp confirmed yesterday morning that he spoke to Biden the night before.
• Biden is pouring federal help and resources into the affected states. Keeping my thoughts with everyone who is dealing with the whole mess.
• And one thing that’s being noted today: the aftermath of Helene might have a big impact on the coming elections, in states where voting could determine the outcome of the entire presidential race.
• Let’s move on to some breaking international news.
• Iran is preparing to imminently launch a ballistic missile attack on Israel, per a senior U.S. administration official who warned today of severe consequences should it take place.
• The U.S. is actively supporting Israeli defensive preparations.
• This comes after the Israeli military warned people yesterday to evacuate nearly two dozen Lebanese border communities hours after announcing ground operations against Hezbollah.
• This whole thing could blow up very soon in a way that involves much more than Israel. Let’s hope for some way that peaceful solutions will be chosen… through I think it’s well past that point already.
• Okay, back in the USA…
• Yesterday, a Georgia judge struck down the state’s abortion law, which took effect in 2022 and effectively prohibited abortions beyond about six weeks of pregnancy.
• Fulton County Superior Court Judge Robert McBurney wrote in his order that “liberty in Georgia includes in its meaning, in its protections, and in its bundle of rights the power of a woman to control her own body, to decide what happens to it and in it, and to reject state interference with her healthcare choices.”
• Thank you Judge McBurney!
• When the U.S. Supreme Court, on the direction of Donald Trump, overturned Roe v. Wade in 2022 and ended a national right to abortion, it opened the door for state bans.
• Fourteen states now bar abortion at all stages of pregnancy, with some exceptions. Georgia was one of four where the bans kick in after about the first six weeks of pregnancy — often before women realize they’re pregnant.
• So that’s the good news. But in Louisiana, the fight for women’s reproductive rights was made all the more urgent via a controversial new law that takes effect today.
• Two drugs that can be used to induce medicated abortions are now classified as controlled substances in the state. Doctors have said the new restrictions will delay life-saving care for some patients.
• As of today, Louisiana is the first state to label the two drugs, mifepristone and misoprostol, as controlled substances. Abortion has been illegal in Louisiana since a trigger law went into effect with the U.S. Supreme Court's Dobbs decision, which overturned Roe v. Wade.
• But the two drugs are also useful for inducing labor, preventing ulcers, and treating constipation and postpartum hemorrhages. Misoprostol is often one of the first drugs doctors look for if a woman begins bleeding out after giving birth.
• With this cruel new law, a person caught with the drugs without a prescription could face up to five years in prison and have to pay a fine of up to $5,000.
• As President, Kamala Harris has vowed she would sign legislation that enshrines the right for women across the nation to make their own reproductive choices.
• Let’s move on.
• Tonight’s the first and presumably only vice presidential debate before the November election.
• I don’t have much to say. Watch and see for yourself how Tim Walz stacks up against JD Vance. It starts tonight at 9pm ET/6pm PT, and runs for 90 minutes (the same length as the two presidential debates).
• It will be moderated by Norah O’Donnell and Margaret Brennan, though CBS has stated that little moderating or fact checking will happen.
• Campaign staff are not allowed to interact with the candidates during the breaks. There will be no audience — a measure also implemented during the two previous presidential debates. 
• Candidates cannot bring pre-written notes or props on stage. Unlike the presidential debates, a candidate's microphone will not be muted when their opponent is speaking, but CBS News reserves the right to turn off the microphones.
• In other news…
• Yesterday the New York Times endorsed Vice President Kamala Harris, calling her “the only patriotic choice for president” while painting a grim picture of a second term for Dumpy.
• “This unequivocal, dispiriting truth — Donald Trump is not fit to be president — should be enough for any voter who cares about the health of our country and the stability of our democracy to deny him re-election. For this reason, regardless of any political disagreements voters might have with her, Kamala Harris is the only patriotic choice for president,” wrote the NYT opinion board, made up of 14 journalists.
• Let’s move on.
• Happy 100th birthday to US President Jimmy Carter. He was born on October 1, 1924.
• Carter is the longest-lived US president by far. Behind him are George H. W. Bush (94 years, 171 days), Gerald Ford (93 years, 165 days), Ronald Reagan (93 years, 120 days), and John Adams (90 years, 247 days).
• Three US presidents died at a younger age than I am now: John F. Kennedy (46 years, 177 days), James A. Garfield (49 years, 304 days), and James K. Polk (53 years, 225 days). Kennedy and Garfield were assassinated; Polk most likely died of cholera.
• President Carter, who’s battled cancer and age-related health issues, has been miraculously keeping himself alive for one purpose: to vote for Kamala Harris in the 2024 election.
• Georgia early voting begins on October 15. I sure hope he makes it.
• Moving on.
• You may have noted that I’ve pretty much stopped repeating the insane ramblings of the Fat Orange Turd who called himself the president for awhile.
• Unless it’s something that I feel is pertinent to the election or could affect your lives, I see no reason to help spread his madness. I wouldn’t have done it for Jim Jones or Adolf Hitler; there’s no reason to do if for Dumpypants.
• But a couple of the things he said over the past few days are so fucking horrible, I’ll tell you just as a means of illustrating why it’s essential that Kamala Harris become the 47th POTUS instead of him.
• Commenting Sunday during one of his rallies, Dump opined that police should be given “one really violent day” to combat retail crime.
• He cited examples of people shoplifting and raised the possibility of allowing police to get “extraordinarily rough” — and respond with “one real rough, nasty day.”
• He then shortened the period in question to an hour and said: “One rough hour — and I mean real rough — the word will get out, and it will end immediately. End immediately.”
• Critics noted the parallels between what Dumpy was suggesting and “The Purge,” a horror movie series in which a new political party allows all crime for a 12-hour period every year.
• Fucking demented scumbag.
• Back on the abortion topic for a moment. If you think that liberal states don’t have to be concerned about the post-Roe world, think again.
• CA Attorney General Rob Bonta is suing a rural Catholic hospital for refusing to provide an abortion to a patient even though her pregnancy was not viable and her health was at risk.
• Bonta said, “We’ve heard tragic stories from across the country of women denied life-saving treatment, but it usually comes out of states that have outlawed abortion. We’re not immune from this problem.”
• This is the first time a state has gone after a hospital for violations of post-Roe abortion protections. The federal government has sued hospitals in Texas and Idaho, but no state has tested abortion-rights protections in this way.
• Here’s what happened.
• Anna Nusslock’s water broke in February when she was 15 weeks pregnant with twins. Though doctors told her her pregnancy was no longer viable, Providence St. Joseph Hospital in Eureka would not terminate her pregnancy because of a hospital policy.
• Nusslock says she was sent away with a bucket of towels to help with her bleeding.
• A bucket of fucking TOWELS? That was their medical treatment for this woman?
• What is wrong with this world? I hope that Providence St. Joseph Hospital gets sued into oblivion and is forced to sell the facility to a provider who will prioritize the best interests of their patients.
• Moving on.
• At an arraignment hearing in federal court in West Palm Beach, FL, Ryan Routh pleaded not guilty yesterday to charges of attempting to assassinate Dumpy.
• In addition to attempting to assassinate a presidential candidate, Routh faces four other charges: possessing a firearm in furtherance of a violent crime, assaulting a federal officer, possession of a firearm by a convicted felon, and the obliteration of a gun’s serial number.
• Shrug.
• In other news, a businessman in Springfield, OH has received death threats and been labeled a traitor after defending his Haitian employees. 
• Jamie McGregor first hired Haitian workers after a large population of Haitian immigrants settled in the Ohio town in 2020. They now make up 10% of McGregor’s team of over 300 employees.
• Chaos and violence descended on Springfield after a false rumor that Haitian immigrants in the town were eating local pets was spread nationally by Dumples the Clown and his running mate, Sen. JD “couch fucker” Vance (R-OH).
• Since then, McGregor — a lifelong Republican and two-time Trump voter — has faced a number of death threats, including posters around town with his face printed alongside the word, "traitor," forcing him to increase security at his business.
• In the last month, schools, hospitals and government buildings have received over 30 bomb threats due to Dump and Vance spreading 100% verifiably false information.
• And now, The Weather: “Firefighters” by Being Dead
• Rest in peace to two huge figures in the world of professional sports.
• Pete Rose, the all-time hits leader who was banned from baseball for betting on the sport, died yesterday at 83.
• I was born in Cincinnati and would visit my grandparents and extended family there each summer. As a kid, I got to see Rose play with the “Big Red Machine," which won back-to-back titles in 1975 and 1976. Rose was the World Series MVP in '75.
• Rose’s lifetime ban from baseball — committing the egregious sin of wagering on baseball games, including on his own team — remained intact. I can say with all certainty that he will finally make the Hall of Fame, albeit posthumously.
• Also, rest in peace to NBA great Dikembe Mutombo. The Hall of Famer passed away yesterday at age 58 from brain cancer.
• The 7-foot-2 Mutombo played 18 NBA seasons for the Nuggets, Hawks, 76ers, Nets, Knicks, and Rockets before retiring after the 2008-09 season.
• He was the league's top defensive player four times, earned three All-NBA selections, and played in eight All-Star Games. He ranks 20th in rebounds (12,359) and finished with 3,289 blocks, second only to Hakeem Olajuwon (3,830).
• But Mutombo also worked extensively for charitable and humanitarian causes, and served as an ambassador for the sport, particularly in the development of the Basketball Africa League.
• From the Sports Desk… we have MLB playoffs set. In fact, the first games of the Wild Card round happen today.
• American League: Tigers (6) at Astros (3), and Royals (5) at Orioles (4). Guardians (2) and Yankees (1) will face the winners in the ALDS.
• National League: Mets (6) at Brewers (3), and Braves (5) at Padres (4). Phillies (2) and Dodgers (1) will face the winners in the NLDS.
• There were also two NFL games on Monday Night Football. The Titans (1-3) handily beat the Dolphins (1-3) 31-12, and the Lions (3-1) manhandled the Seahawks (3-1) 42-29, with Detroit quarterback Jared Goff having a near-perfect game, going 18 for 18 and garnering a 155.3 QB rating, the best possible.
• Today in history… Alexander the Great defeats Darius III of Persia in the Battle of Gaugamela (331 BC). Edgar the Peaceful becomes king of all England (959). Coronation of Queen Mary I of England (1553). Opening of the Congress of Vienna, intended to redraw Europe's political map after the defeat of Napoleon the previous spring (1814). Yosemite National Park is established by the U.S. Congress (1890). Stanford University opens its doors (1891). The Boston Americans play the Pittsburgh Pirates in the first game of the modern World Series (1903). Newark Liberty International Airport opens up being the first airport in the New York City metro area (1928). The George Washington Bridge, linking New Jersey and New York, is opened (1931). The Pennsylvania Turnpike, often considered the first superhighway in the United States, opens to traffic (1940). Nazi leaders are sentenced at the Nuremberg trials (1946). The People's Republic of China is established (1949). First appearance of In God we trust on U.S. paper currency (1957). James Meredith enters the University of Mississippi, defying racial segregation rules (1962). Concorde breaks the sound barrier for the first time (1969). Walt Disney World opens near Orlando, Florida (1971). Muhammad Ali defeats Joe Frazier in a boxing match in Manila, Philippines (1975). Sony and Phillips launch the compact disc in Japan (1982). Denmark introduces the world's first legal same-sex registered partnerships (1989). Fifty-eight people are killed and 869 others injured in a mass shooting at a country music festival in Las Vegas, NV (2017).
• October 1 is the birthday of Roman emperor Alexander Severus (208), painter Giulia Lama (1681), physician/politician William Shippen (1712), First Lady Caroline Harrison (1832), engineer/businessman William Boeing (1881), pianist/songwriter Cliff Friend (1893), martial artist Ip Man (1893), actor Walter Matthau (1920), US president Jimmy Carter (1924), SCOTUS chief justice William Rehnquist (1924), actor Tom Bosley (1927), actor George Peppard (1928), actor Richard Harris (1930), singer-songwriter/guitarist Albert Collins (1932), actress/singer Julie Andrews (1935), MLB player Rod Carew (1945), actor Randy Quaid (1950), UK prime minister Theresa May (1956), MLB player Mark McGwire (1963), actor Zach Galifianakis (1969), actress Brie Larson (1989), and college basketball player Lauren Hill (1995). 

Well, that was so much news that I was forced to skip a bunch of items that I’d normally include. But that’s life; we do what we can with the time we have. Oh, and for those of you who do Second Life stuff, I’ll be performing at 5PM tonight at Hotel Chelsea, in the hour directly before the debate. Yes… it’s going to be a busy day for me. That’s okay. Enjoy your day.