Random News: July 18, 2022

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s July 18, 2022, and it’s a Monday. Here’s, like, just my opinion, man…

• There was a mass shooting yesterday. I can pretty much just keep that as my top bullet point as a default, and then just fill in the location and how many were shot/killed.
• There will be many gun masturbators today who are proclaiming that a “good guy with a gun” stopped this mall shooter in Indiana before things got worse. That is sorta true! Some 22-year-old happened to be packing heat at the mall, and killed the aggressor.
• So the best possible circumstances in America, and I’ve literally seen this exact opinion multiple times this morning offered without irony, is that if every person had guns and carried them all the time, things would be fine.
• What happens when the untrained 22-year-old misses his target and hits a baby in a stroller? What happens when the cops come in and mistake the good guy for the bad guy and kill him instead?
• The USA has by far the most guns in the world. So we must already be the safest country, yes?
• Please.
• In related news, five people were shot last night (including a 72-year-old customer and an employee) at a Walmart in Mount Vernon, WA. Kat’s brother works at that store. We’re pretty sure he’s fine (confirming now).
• Also, it turns out that 400 good guys with guns and badges didn’t do shit to help the children being slaughtered in Uvalde at Robb Elementary.
• Sending cooling thoughts and prayers to our UK friends, where it will hit 106º F (40º C) today, a heat record for the area. This will keep getting worse for the rest of our lives.
• France and much of Europe is also suffering in the heat wave.
• Speaking of heat: we’re going to get nailed with a direct hit from a solar flare early tomorrow (Tuesday July 19). Could be some issues with GPS and other communications tech.
• COVID cases in the USA are up 15% in the past two weeks. Hospitalizations are up 20%. Omicron BA.5 didn’t even exist last summer, so your vaccination and boosters almost certainly don’t protect from it. Prior COVID infection also doesn’t help you with BA.5.
• Those are only the people who report their cases, which is about one in 10.
• 75% of Americans are now living in a medium- or high- COVID risk area. Mask mandates will likely return, which makes absolutely no difference to me; I’ve continually worn masks in indoor public settings the whole time. You know who never got COVID? This guy (points at self).
• The deleted texts with the Secret Service are supposed to arrive to the January 6 committee by tomorrow, per their subpoena.
• From the sports desk… Chris Sale was pitching for the Red Sox against the Yankees yesterday and got a “comebacker”, which is when a batter hits a line drive straight back at the pitcher standing 60 feet, 6 inches away. The ball, which had a velocity of over 106mph, hit Sale on his pitching hand, fracturing his finger and deflecting all the way to center field. That sounds really fucking painful. And then adding insult to injury (literally), NYY beat BOS 13-2.
• QotD: “Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollars, we wouldn't have any innocent bystanders.” - Chris Rock
• Today in history… Gauls defeat the Romans in the Battle of the Allia (387 BC). King Edward I banishes all Jews from England (1290). Congress forms the Aviation Section, the first US Army military aviation division (1914). Germany test flies the Messerschmitt Me 262, the first jet-powered fighter plane (1942). Hideki Tojo resigns as Prime Minister of Japan due to war setbacks (1944). The Hough race riots start and last six days in Cleveland  (1966). Intel is founded (1968). Nadia Comăneci gets the first-ever perfect 10 score in Olympic gymnastics (1976). The McDonald’s Massacre in San Isidro, CA (1984). Detroit declares bankruptcy (2013). 
• July 18 is the birthday of Holy Roman Emperor Rudolf II (1552), marshal Virgil Earp (1843), gangster Machine Gun Kelly (1895), politician S. I. Hayakawa (1906), actor Hume Cronyn (1911), actor Red Skelton (1913), activist/politician Nelson Mandela (1918), astronaut/politician John Glenn (1921), musician Screamin’ Jay Hawkins (1929), gonzo journalist Hunter S. Thompson (1937), pianist and Rolling Stones co-founder Ian Stewart (1938), film director Paul Verhoeven (1938), musician Lonnie Mack (1941), publisher/politician Steve Forbes (1947), super rich bro Richard Branson (1950), actor Vin Diesel (1967), NBA player Penny Hardaway (1971), baseball player Torii Hunter (1975), and actress Kristin Bell (1980).

Well, it’s Monday, so try not to be shitty. If you look on the bright side, Monday is great because everyone is equally in a bad mood so it’s an even playing field. Try and make it better than you expect.