Random News: January 7, 2023

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s January 7, 2023, and it’s a Saturday. I’m a guy in a robe, so you’d best listen to whatever I say…

• Mid-day yesterday, we saw Republican congressional leader Kevin McCarthy fail to get elected as Speaker for the 12th and 13th ballots.
• That night at 10PM local time, the held a 14th vote, and McCarthy lost again. Things were getting testy on the floor of the House. 
• Mike Rogers (R-AL) lunged at Matt Gaetz (R-FL) and had to be restrained. It was all very entertaining.
• One of my favorite Frank Zappa quotes: “Politics is the entertainment division of the military-industrial complex.” Last night was definitely an example of that.
• Finally, after four days and on the 15th ballot taken well after midnight local time, enough of the “Never Kevin” camp voted “present” that lowered the threshold enough for McCarthy to win with just 216 votes.
• It’s the most pathetic Speaker win in US history, and McCarthy apparently made so many huge concessions to his opponents that he’ll never command the respect and effectiveness of a great Speaker like Nancy Pelosi.
• From the minority Democrats, leader Hakeem Jeffries got all 212 votes on every single roll call. The Dems were very much in alignment the entire time. it was a pleasure to watch.
• House minority leader Jeffries gave a remarkable speech after the vote. It was one of the most impactful and sincere moments amidst the craziness. Lest we overlook this, he’s now the first Black lawmaker to lead a party in Congress.
• I find it very likely that Hakeem Jeffries will be President of the USA at some point. You should start getting to know him sooner than later.
• Anyway, all I’ll say for now is to keep in mind that much of what the House (aka, the “lower chamber” of the legislative branch) does has to be approved by the upper chamber (the Democrat-controlled Senate), and is subject to veto by the President, a guy named Joe Biden.
• Will there be fuckery? Yes. Will they slash Social Security and Medicare? Yes and yes. Will the government get shut down because Kevin is unable to lead and the House is unable to govern? Absolutely. But will we once again survive some idiots running the House? Of course we will, and in fact their lack of effectiveness will have devastating consequences for their party in 2024 and beyond.
• And now, The Weather: “Happiness” by Bubble Tea and Cigarettes
• Just for fun, here’s the new current line of succession to the Presidency…
• Vice President Kamala Harris (D)
• Speaker of the House of Representatives Kevin McCarthy (R)
• President pro tempore of the Senate Patty Murray (D)
• Secretary of State Antony Blinken (D)
• Secretary of the Treasury Janet Yellen (D)
• Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin (n/a)
• Attorney General Merrick Garland (n/a)
• Secretary of the Interior Deb Haaland (D)
• Secretary of Agriculture Tom Vilsack (D)
• Secretary of Commerce Gina Raimondo (D)
• I think we’re doing alright.
• In other news…
• The Mega Millions lottery is up over $1B again. I think that tells me far too many of you believe that winning a lottery is your best chance of survival, and it’s a little scary.
• I didn’t even want to talk about this, but a six-year-old in Newport News, VA brought a gun to school and shot his teacher purposefully. The teacher is in critical condition; her injuries are life-threatening. The child is in custody.
• How does that happen? What kind of country are we where that can happen?
• Moving on.
• Suddenly a bunch of my co-workers have COVID, several for the second time.
• Pandemic experts say that the new XBB.1.5 variant is so contagious that most folks who haven’t had it will surely get it, and that the 80% of Americans who have had it are likely to get it again.
• So that sucks.
• From the Sports Desk… the NFL’s regular season wraps up this weekend. Here are the chances of each remaining team who hasn’t made the playoff or already been eliminated…
• AFC (one slot left): Dolphins (45.2%), Patriots (19.3%, Titans (15.6%).
• NFC (one slot left): Packers (65.7%), Seahawks (19.8%), Lions (14.5%).
• We’ll know tomorrow night. Good luck teams.
• Also, the NFL came up with some convoluted way to deal with the Bills/Bengals game that was stopped by Damar Hamlin’s medical emergency. I’m not going to spell it out but neutral stadiums and coin tosses are involved.
• Today in history… The Senate of Rome says that Caesar will be declared a public enemy unless he disbands his army (49 BC). French troops, led by Francis, Duke of Guise, take Calais, the last continental possession of England (1558). Fire destroys Jamestown, Virginia (1608). Galileo Galilei makes his first observation of the four Galilean moons: Ganymede, Callisto, Io and Europa (1610). HMS Beagle, with Charles Darwin on board, drops anchor off the Chonos Archipelago (1835). The distress signal "CQD" is established only to be replaced two years later by “SOS" (1904). The New York State Assembly refuses to seat five duly elected Socialist assemblymen (1920). The first transatlantic commercial telephone service is established from New York City to London (1927). Contralto Marian Anderson becomes the first person of color to perform at the Metropolitan Opera in Giuseppe Verdi's ‘Un ballo in maschera’ (1955). U.S. President Jimmy Carter authorizes legislation giving $1.5 billion in loans to bail out the Chrysler Corporation (1980). The Senate trial in the impeachment of U.S. President Bill Clinton begins (1999). Two gunmen commit mass murder at the offices of Charlie Hebdo in Paris, shooting twelve people execution style, and wounding eleven others (2007).
• January 7 is the birthday of U.S. president Millard Fillmore (1800), businessman Thomas Henry Ismay (1837), film producer Adolph Zukor (1873), cartoonist Charles Addams (1912), flautist Jean-Pierre Rampal (1922), publisher Jann Wenner (1946), singer-songwriter Kenny Loggins (1948), painter/sculptor Robert Longo (1953), actor David Caruso (1956), journalist Katie Couric (1957), actor Nicolas Cage (1964), actor Jeremy Renner (1971), NHL player Donald Brashear (1972), singer/rapper Aloe Blacc (1979), and NFL player Lamar Jackson (1997).

Okay. I’m gonna figure out my plans for today. There will likely be music involved, since I am super focused on continuing this album development with They Stole My Crayon. Enjoy your day.