Random News: November 22, 2023

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s November 22, 2023, and it’s a Wednesday. It’s also Thanksgiving Eve, if that’s a thing, and I’m in the mode of sorta-working, sorta-hoping everyone is out of the office so I can be a slacker. I’ll play it as it happens, but in the meantime, let’s see what is happening in this world of ours.

• Some excellent news from the Israel-Hamas war.
• Yesterday, the Israeli government and Hamas announced separately that they have agreed to a Qatar-mediated deal in which the militant group will free dozens of Israeli hostages in exchange for a four-day pause in fighting in Gaza and the release of dozens of Palestinians held in prisons in Israel.
• A spokesperson for the Israel Defense Forces (IDF) emphasized today that the military would be implementing an “operational pause” rather than a ceasefire and that forces were still waiting on final details of the agreement.
• They were not able to confirm when fighting would stop or how a ceasefire would operate because orders have not been received from the country’s political leaders.
• Once implemented, it will be the biggest diplomatic breakthrough and the first major pause in fighting since the war began. In the first phase of the two-phase deal, Hamas is expected to free at least 50 Israeli women and children held in Gaza, while Israel is expected to release about 150 Palestinian prisoners, mostly women and children over the four-day pause.
• Israel will allow around 300 aid trucks per day to enter Gaza from Egypt. More fuel will also be allowed in during the pause in fighting.
• In the second phase, Hamas could release dozens more women, children and elderly people. The Israeli government said it would extend the pause for every additional 10 hostages released.
• So that’s good. I hope they can work this out and stick to their promises… both sides.
• Moving on to some absolutely fucked-up news in the USA.
• Yesterday, a federal appeals court overturned one of Maryland’s toughest gun-control laws, saying the decade-old handgun licensing statute that required fingerprinting, firearms training and a waiting period of up to a month violated the Second Amendment.
• Fucking pricks. We’ve tried to make things work within the framework of the Second Amendment, and they keep not accepting any level of compromise.
• The ruling from the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 4th Circuit is among the first to strike down handgun permit requirements under a legal test established by the Supreme Court in 2022 that requires judges to consider whether modern-day regulations mirror what was in place around the time of the country’s founding.
• The panel voted 2-1 to block Maryland’s enforcement of a 2013 law that was passed by Democratic legislators after the 2012 shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut. It required that handgun buyers, who already faced background checks and waiting periods for purchases, obtain an additional “handgun qualification license” from Maryland officials and wait up to 30 days to have it approved.
• But no, that was too much for them. It’s time to take a hard look at repealing (or revising) the Second Amendment if its interpretation is so inflexible that a state can’t take any measures at all to protect its children and other citizens.
• Let’s move on to something somewhat interesting.
• The Colorado Supreme Court agreed yesterday to hear appeals related to a judge's ruling against an effort to keep former president and current accused felon Donald John Trump off the state’s ballot in 2024.
• Funnily enough, the appeals were filed by both Trump and the Colorado voters arguing he is ineligible to hold office. Trump took issue with the state judge's finding that he "engaged in insurrection," while the voters disagreed with the ruling that the constitutional clause about ineligibility does not apply to the presidency.
• Let’s see how that plays out.
• Moving on.
• Two more House lawmakers announced yesterday that they won’t run for reelection, the latest in a string of members of Congress heading for the exits.
• Democratic Rep. Anna Eshoo of California said she will not seek reelection in 2024, bringing to an end a more than 30-year career in Congress.
• Later in the day, Republican Rep. Bill Johnson of Ohio stated he will not be seeking an eighth term in Congress.
• Both of their respective districts are very unlikely to flip regardless.
• Let’s do some news about a batch of January 6 insurrectionist pieces of shit and their answering for their crimes.
• Starting with Taylor James Johnatakis of Washington state. This asshole represented himself during a jury trial as a “sovereign citizen” (and if you don’t know what that is, consider yourself happier to be unaware). Royce Lamberth, the federal judge overseeing the case, described Johnatakis’s position as "bullshit" and “gobbledygook”, and he was found guilty and ordered into government custody.
• The court took just a few hours to find him guilty of felony counts of obstruction of an official proceeding, assaulting officers and civil disorder, as well as four misdemeanor charges. Johnatakis will be sentenced at a later date. His sentence will be much more severe than if he’d just not been a complete dickhead at his trial. Way to go, dickface.
• Want some more? Sure!
• Jeremy Groseclose, 41, of Virginia, was found guilty yesterday of felony and misdemeanor charges for his actions in the January 6, 2021 failed coup attempt at the Capitol.
• Groseclose was arrested by the FBI on February 25, 2021. There are at least 18 videos and images of this prick in the building with the mob of rioters.
• How about a third Jan 6 piece of shit? It’s our lucky day. This one is a two-for-one.
• 50-year-old Jamie Buteau, and his wife, 46-year-old Jennifer Peck Buteau, both of Ocala, Florida, were sentenced this week on felony and misdemeanor charges for their actions during the most moronic coup attempt in history.
• The Buteaus were at the front of a mob that was rushing to prevent Capitol Police from pulling down a set of rolling doors that would have helped secure parts of the building.
• As Jennifer Buteau joined other rioters working to prop the rolling doors up with chairs and trash cans, Jamie Buteau was captured on camera “going one step further” when he picked up a folding chair and threw it towards police.
• The dumbass husband and wife were arrested on June 23, 2021. Jamie was charged with felony assaulting, resisting, or impeding certain officers and was sentenced to 22 months in prison in addition to 24 months of supervised released. He was also ordered to pay $2,000 restitution. Jennifer got 90 days on a misdemeanor count of parading, demonstrating, or picketing in a Capitol building.
• At this point, more than 1,200 people have been charged in connection with the Capitol attack, and more than 400 have received sentences of incarceration. Online "Sedition Hunters" say about 1,000 additional rioters have been identified, but not yet arrested.
• But they will be. Enjoy what little time you have left, fuckers.
• Let’s move on. And this is.. something.
• Kim Taylor, the wife of an Iowa county supervisor, was found guilty of 52 counts of voter fraud yesterday, concluding a months-long case into her interference in the 2020 election.
• She tried to help her husband, Woodbury County Supervisor Jeremy Taylor, win the primary for Rep. Steve King’s (R-IA) former seat. He lost that primary, receiving only eight percent of the vote, but then she again broke the law in assisting her husband to seek reelection as a supervisor that fall, which he did win.
• Taylor applied for and submitted false absentee ballots, signed ballots on voters’ behalf without their permission, and encouraged others to do the same. The 52 counts carry a maximum sentence of five years each. A sentencing date has not yet been scheduled.
• What an asshole.
• And now, The Weather: “Aces” by The Something Specials
• And yes, speaking of weather… I hope you have plans to safely get wherever the fuck you’re going today. There will be various areas of snow, heavy rain, gusting winds, and all the other shit you don’t want to drive in.
• Also… if you don’t have weather to worry about, you do have drunk drivers to avoid. 
• The day before Thanksgiving is associated with drinking as friends and families reconnect. The pre-Thanksgiving Wednesday results in a spike in accidents caused by impaired driving.
• Don’t drink and drive. Thank you.
• If you’re flying, the FAA warns that thunderstorms could mean delays in many places including Charlotte and Atlanta, both major hubs. Cloudy and windy conditions may impact flights at other East Coast airports.
• From the Sports Desk… Thanksgiving is also known as a big NFL football day, and while you’re waiting on the turkey to roast and the potatoes to be mashed, you have three games to watch tomorrow. All times PST.
• Green Bay (4-6) at Detroit (8-2) - 9:30am on Fox.
• Washington (4-7) at Dallas (7-3) - 1:30pm on CBS.
• San Francisco (7-3) at Seattle (6-4) - 5:20pm on NBC.
• Today in history… Juan Fernández discovers islands now known as the Juan Fernández Islands off Chile (1574). Royal Navy Lieutenant Robert Maynard attacks and boards the vessels of the British pirate Edward Teach, aka “Blackbeard", off the coast of North Carolina (1718). In Dumbarton, Scotland, the clipper Cutty Sark is launched (1869). General Friedrich Paulus sends Adolf Hitler a telegram saying that the German 6th Army is surrounded in Stalingrad (1942). The Summer Olympics, officially known as the games of the XVI Olympiad, are opened in Melbourne, Australia (1956). U.S. President John F. Kennedy is assassinated and Texas Governor John Connally is seriously wounded by Lee Harvey Oswald, who also kills Dallas Police officer J. D. Tippit after fleeing the scene (1963). U.S Vice President Lyndon B. Johnson is sworn in as the 36th President of the United States (1963). Juan Carlos is declared King of Spain following the death of Francisco Franco (1975). British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher withdraws from the Conservative Party leadership election, confirming the end of her Prime-Ministership (1990). ‘Toy Story’ is released as the first feature-length film created completely using computer-generated imagery (1995). England defeats Australia in the 2003 Rugby World Cup Final, becoming the first side from the Northern Hemisphere to win the tournament (2003). Angela Merkel becomes the first female Chancellor of Germany (2005).
• November 22 is the birthday of organist/composer Wilhelm Friedemann Bach (1710), first lady Abagail Adams (1744), novelist/poet George Eliot (1819), US vice-president John Nance Garner (1868), French president Charles de Gaulle (1890), songwriter/musician Hoagy Carmichael (1899), composer Benjamin Britten (1913), comedian Rodney Dangerfield (1921), actress/singer Geraldine Page (1942), actor/director/animator Terry Gilliam (1940), tennis player Billie Jean King (1943), guitarist Rod Price (1947), musician/actor Steven Van Zandt (1950), bass player/songwriter Tina Weymouth (1950), actor Richard Kind (1956), actress Jamie Lee Curtis (1958), actress Mariel Hemingway (1961), actor Mads Mikkelsen (1965), tennis player Boris Becker (1967), actor/activist Mark Ruffalo (1967), singer-songwriter Karen O (1978), businessman Shawn Fanning (1980), and actress Scarlett Johansson (1984).

Well, that seems like enough for now. I’ve got a couple of work things to handle after my workout, but if all goes well, by about one or two o’clock this afternoon, I’ll be doing a lot of nothing. Enjoy your day.