Random News: February 29, 2024

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s February 29, 2024, and it’s a Thursday for some reason. It’s also Leap Day, a topic we will cover in a moment. There’s also an incredible amount of important news happening, so try to stay alert here, because shit is going down that will affect the rest of your life and those of generations to come. Let’s do it.

• But let’s start with that zany leap year.
• How many days are in a year? 365, right?
• Not really. It actually takes Earth 365.242190 days to orbit the sun. It would be easier if the rotation of the planet and the time it takes to complete an orbit were somehow synchronized identically, but no, it doesn’t work that way.
• So every year, there’s almost an extra quarter of a day difference between the two measurements. Without an extra day every four years or so, the calendar starts to get fucked up. What used to happen in May then happens in April, and so on.
• If you’re in a civilization that needs to know what time of year it is to do things like plant and harvest crops, this eventually becomes a big problem.
• This was figured out by the Hebrew, Chinese, and Buddhist peoples thousands of years ago, and they adjusted their calendars accordingly in various ways.
• The Julian Calendar which was introduced in 45 BC included an extra day every year. It wasn’t quite right; that led to an overcorrection by about eight days each millennium.
• So it wasn’t until the 16th century that Pope Gregory XIII sought to address that problem, which is why we’ve used his Gregorian calendar ever since. It adds leap days in years divisible by four, unless the year is also divisible by 100.
• Um… except a leap day is still added in years divisible by 400. Confusing much? Anyway, it works.
• Why add the leap day in February specifically? Because it was already the shortest month. Basically, they were like, “Fuck it, just put it in February,” and no one had a better idea.
• Alright. Happy Leap Day, I guess. Let’s do some real news.
• Donnie Dump tried to play “Let’s Make a Deal” with a New York appellate court yesterday, trying to halt collection of the $454,000,000 civil fraud judgment while he appeals.
• He tried to negotiate by offering them a $100,000,000 appeal bond instead of paying the full amount due.
• No deal! Judge Anil Singh declined to address the amount of the bond, effectively requiring Trump by default to post a bond for the full judgment of $454 million.
• And he has to pay it all within a few weeks. Dump’s defense attorneys had argued that Dumpy had no way to secure a higher amount without selling off some of his real estate.
• This man does not have the money, people. He stated under oath not long ago that he had around $400 million in cash available. That was a lie.
• New York attorney general, Letitia James has said that she will seek to seize some of Trump’s assets if he is unable to pay the judgment. El Dumpo has until March 25 to secure a stay before Tish James starts taking away his shit.
• Important side note: Justice Singh did lift a ban on Dump’s ability to obtain loans from a New York bank, which could allow him to access the equity in his assets to back the full bond amount, assuming some bank is insanely stupid enough to loan him the dough.
• Welp. We’ll all watch while that plays out.
• We have another big Dumpy news item from yesterday, one that would mean the end of democracy and America as we know it if it doesn’t work out the right way.
• The Supreme Court agreed to take up whether Don the Con can be criminally prosecuted over his efforts to overturn his 2020 re-election loss, setting up a historic case that tests the limits of presidential immunity.
• The justices’ order keeps Dump’s January 6 criminal trial proceedings on hold, for now, but it also hands a win to Special Counsel Jack Smith by keeping alive a pathway for his prosecution to reach a jury before the 2024 presidential election.
• Let’s look on the bright side for a bit.
• Dumpy had urged the justices to hold off on taking up his immunity claims on the merits until he first exhausts his appeal options in a lower court. Why?
• Because that process would’ve lasted weeks, if not months, which would’ve aided Dump in his efforts to delay, delay, delay, and further run out the clock so he can first have a shot at returning to the White House and end the prosecution before a jury gets the case.
• The high court’s order establishes an expedited schedule, setting up oral arguments during the week of April 22 and likely enabling the landmark decision to be handed down by the end of June or sooner.
• Let’s be clear: if the Court sides with Dump, that means a US President is now a king. A person who is above the law and is immune from any and all prosecution for crimes they commit.
• It’s the exact opposite of what the USA’s founding fathers stated for the intent of this country.
• However, if the extreme right-wing conservative-majority court ultimately sides against Dump, as many legal observers expect, it would then allow Smith’s prosecution to move forward, providing Dump’s judge with a window to still schedule the trial before November’s election.
• It is concerning that the Supreme Court took up this case at all. Remember, SCOTUS cases are only taken up at the discretion of the justices themselves.
• So, this may end up being one of most important Supreme Court cases of our lifetimes, and one that will affect not only Dump but also Biden and every POTUS yet to come.
• Moving on.
• Yesterday, a Cook County, Illinois judge ordered the state election board to remove El Dumpo from the state’s March 19 primary ballot, but put her order on hold until Friday in anticipation of a likely appeal.
• Ha ha.
• Judge Tracie Porter’s decision comes amid national debate over whether Dump is disqualified from the presidency because of his actions related to the January 6, 2021, failed coup attempt at the U.S. Capitol, and whether that attack amounted to an insurrection.
• As you’re probably aware, the U.S. Supreme Court is poised to rule on this matter soon in regard to similar actions in Colorado and Maine, and Colorado’s primary election is Tuesday. 
• We should find out soon enough.
• In other huge news from yesterday, Sen. Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) announced he's stepping down as the upper chamber's GOP leader after 17 years at the helm. Mitch turned 82 last week.
• In emotional remarks on the State floor yesterday, McConnell outlined his 40 years in the Senate. Note that while Mitch is stepping down as leader, he did not say he was making any plans to actually retire. 
• I will never shed a tear for Mitch fucking McConnell. More than anyone else, including Dumpy McDumpster, Mitch was the architect of this worst-ever Supreme Court that stands to destroy our democracy.
• Side note: as purely evil a Mitch is, you have to understand that he’s no longer conservative enough for the MAGA contingent that took over the former Republican party. That’s why he’s stepping aside.
• Moving on.
• Yesterday, a Republican senator blocked legislation that would protect in vitro fertilization and other assisted reproductive technologies in the wake of an Alabama Supreme Court ruling that frozen embryos are children under state law.
• We told you that despite their denial, Republicans want to maintain complete control over women’s reproductive freedom. Don’t listen to their words; watch their votes.
• Sen. Tammy Duckworth (D-IL) tried to pass the measure using unanimous consent. But Sen. Cindy Hyde-Smith (R-MI) objected to Duckworth’s move for a vote.
• They are who they say they are. They’ve already blocked access to abortion. They’re already making laws to discriminate against gay and trans people. They’re already taking steps to make IVF difficult to access or straight-up illegal.
• And next they are coming for contraceptives, and then to control who you can love. Do not vote for a single one of them, ever.
• In other news…
• Yesterday something happened that strongly reaffirmed my opposition to capital punishment when Idaho botched the execution of convicted serial killer Thomas Eugene Creech.
• Creech is 73 years old, and make no mistake… he seems like an awful person. He was convicted of five murders, and was sentenced to die for the killing of a fellow prisoner with a battery-filled sock in 1981.
• The U.S. Supreme Court denied three requests from Creech for a stay of execution yesterday morning. There were no noted dissents. The execution would have marked Idaho's first in more than a decade.
• But then, state officials tried and failed 10 times to access veins in both of his arms and legs to inject him with the lethal injection drug pentobarbital. They couldn’t get it figured out, and now Creech’s death warrant has expired.
• His public defenders stated, "We are angered but not surprised that the State of Idaho botched the execution of Thomas Creech today. This is what happens when unknown individuals with unknown training are assigned to carry out an execution.”
• Sigh. Moving on.
• In our continuing coverage of the pieces of shit who tried and failed to overthrow the USA on January 6, 2021, meet Michael Joseph Foy. He was sentenced yesterday to more than three years in federal prison for assaulting law enforcement officers with a hockey stick during the brutal battle at the lower west tunnel of the U.S. Capitol.
• Foy was found guilty of felony charges in June. Federal prosecutors sought more than eight years in federal prison for Foy, who assaulted cops after traveling to Washington with a "TRUMP 2020" flag.
• But U.S. District Court Judge Tanya Chutkan — who is also overseeing El Dumpo’s delayed federal trial on charges he tried to overturn his 2020 election loss by conspiring to obstruct Congress and disenfranchise American voters — said that the Justice Department's request was "unreasonable" and didn't factor in Foy's prior military service and other factors in his life in the lead-up to Jan. 6.
• Mighty nice of her, I guess.
• Let’s do some good news.
• Rep. Tom Suozzi (D-NY) has now officially been sworn in after he won a special election in New York’s 3rd Congressional District earlier this month. He replaces the disgraced and expelled George Santos.
• So as of today, the Republicans' House majority has shrunk again. On any party-line vote going forward, Republicans will only be able to afford to lose two of their members and still see their priorities pass if all members are present and voting.
• And that’s a big “if”, considering that representatives will be busy campaigning this year to save their own seats, or busy “looking after their family” as Lauren Boebert (R-CO) claims she’ll be doing.
• One more note on voting.
• We mentioned yesterday that next week on March 5 is Super Tuesday, when a whole bunch of sites hold their primary elections.
• We should also note that between now and then, there are Republican caucuses and primaries in other states. Saturday March 2 has the Michigan caucus, and the primaries for Idaho, and Missouri. D.C. has their on March 3, and North Dakota on March 4.
• Vote! And help others to vote. It’s so easy. Just head to vote.org to get your questions answered.
• And now, The Weather: “Fishbrain” by Mount Kimbie
• Rest in peace to comedian/actor Richard Lewis. He died Tuesday at age 76. Lewis had been battling Parkinson’s for the past year or so, and then had a heart attack.
• One pretty neat story about him was his relationship with Larry David. They were born three days apart in the same hospital, met at summer camp when they were 12, and have had a lifelong friendship ever since.
• Lewis was respected as a stand-up in the ‘70s and ‘80s and had some films and comedy specials, but became more well known to newer audiences in the past 20+ years via his regular appearances on “Curb Your Enthusiasm.”
• Let’s do a chart. It’s this week at the end of February in 1996. I am 27, and working in pretty much the same job I have today… writing press releases, creating advertising, doing all manner of marketing spin, and being a corporate dweeb in general. This is the top of the Billboard Modern Rock tracks, which would have encapsulated the current new music I’d have been listening to at the time.
• Note that by 1996, Modern Rock was primarily lumped into the “post-grunge” subgenre. Like any period and type of music, there were good songs and shit songs. This list is pretty good, though.
• 1. Wonderwall (Oasis). 2. 1979 (Smashing Pumpkins). 3. Ironic (Alanis Morissette). 4. Brain Stew/Jaded (Green Day). 5. Santa Monica (Watch The World Die) (Everclear). 6. Heaven Beside You (Alice in Chains). 7. In The Meantime (Spacehog). 8. Airplane (Red Hot Chili Peppers). 9. Naked (Goo Goo Dolls). 10. Glycerine (Bush). 11. Follow You Down (Gin Blossoms). 12. Peaches (The Presidents of the United States of America). 13. Just a Girl (No Doubt). 14. The World I Know (Collective Soul). 15. Big Me (Foo Fighters). 16. Natural One (Folk Implosion). 17. Cumbersome (Seven Mary Three). 18. I Got ID (Pearl Jam). 19. Caught A Lite Sneeze (Tori Amos). 20. Only Happy When It Rains (Garbage).
• From the Sports Desk… the biggest headline in Japan right now is about a Los Angeles Dodger. Shohei Ohtani announced on social media today that he is married.
• Ohtani, who in December signed a record-breaking contract worth $700 million over 10 years, wrote on Instagram in Japanese: "The season is approaching, but I would like to announce to everyone that I have gotten married."
• Well, congrats. I’m pretty sure that he’s the best baseball player I’ve ever seen in my lifetime thus far.
• Today in history… Christopher Columbus uses his knowledge of a lunar eclipse that night to trick Jamaican natives into providing him with supplies (1504). The Jay Treaty between the United States and Great Britain comes into force, facilitating ten years of peaceful trade between the two nations (1796). St. Petersburg, FL is incorporated (1892). In South Carolina, the minimum working age for factory, mill and mine workers is raised from 12 to 14 years old (1916). For her performance as Mammy in Gone with the Wind, Hattie McDaniel becomes the first African American to win an Academy Award (1940). Gordie Howe of the Hartford Whalers makes NHL history as he scores his 800th goal (1980). North Korea agrees to suspend uranium enrichment and nuclear and long-range missile tests in return for US food aid (2012). Joe Biden wins the South Carolina primary election (2020).
• February 29 is the birthday of religious leader Ann Lee (1736), composer Gioachino Rossini (1792), saxophonist/composer Jimmy Dorsey (1904), MLB player Pepper Martin (1904), burlesque performer Tempest Storm (1928), actor Dennis Farina (1944), serial killer Aileen Wuornos (1956), rapper Ja Rule (1976), video game composer Lena Raine (1984), NHL player Cam Ward (1984), and NBA player Tyrese Haliburton (2000).

Holy fuck, that’s a lot of big news. I’ve got plenty to do today, so my plans are pretty well established, so now I just have to do them. Easy enough. Enjoy your day.