Random News: June 5, 2024

DISCLAIMER: Zak's Random News is very random and doesn't cover many things, and not everything may be accurate, because I'm just some guy. Go find a real news source.

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Good morning. It’s June 5, 2024, and it’s a Wednesday. I’m your news guy here with a news eye on the news sky. Hang on, let me have more coffee and then possibly write things that make sense. Ah, better. Okay, let’s go.

• The Senate is expected to vote today on a bill that would guarantee access to contraception nationwide, but that vote is really a test to show how Republicans are poised to do the exact opposite.
• The bill – the Right to Contraception Act – would enshrine into federal law a right for individuals to buy and use contraceptives, as well as for health care providers to provide them. 
• The bill was introduced by Democratic Sens. Ed Markey, Mazie Hirono and Tammy Duckworth.
• It would apply to birth control pills, the plan B pill, condoms, and other forms of contraception. Will it pass?
• No. The legislation is expected to fail to advance in a procedural vote because of opposition from Republicans, who have already said that the bill is unnecessary and overly broad.
• Look. We told you that the far-right was going after abortion and you said we were being alarmists. Then they got their greatest wish when the GOP-packed Supreme Court reversed Roe v Wade in 2022.
• And now we tell you they are going after contraception. They want to force all women to have children… with or against their will. Don’t believe me?
• In recent months, Republican lawmakers in Missouri blocked a bill to widen access to birth-control pills by falsely claiming they induce abortions. An anti-abortion group in Louisiana killed legislation to enshrine a right to birth control by inaccurately equating emergency contraception with abortion drugs.
• And an Idaho think tank focused on “biblical activism” is pushing state legislators to ban access to emergency contraception and intrauterine devices (IUDs) by mislabeling them as “abortifacients.”
• They are already branding contraception as some precursor to abortion, and they’ll run with that messaging. Then they’ll find some case to bring to the SCOTUS, and next thing you know, there will be laws that all sex must be done for reasons of procreation.
• And obviously, if you’re gay, there’s no reason to have sex at all, so that will be illegal too.
• The Republican “party of small government” is super interested in what you do in your bedroom, and they won’t stop here.
• If you can’t see where this path is leading, I’m sorry for you.
• Let’s move on.
• In celebration of Pride Month, today’s Gay of the Day is writer and civil rights activist James Baldwin.
• If you’re not familiar with Baldwin, his 1953 novel ‘Go Tell It on the Mountain' might ring a bell. It’s been ranked among the best English-language novels in history.
• Baldwin faced the dual threats of violence and discrimination due to both his skin color and his sexual orientation.
• Few people were more outspoken and open than Baldwin about the causes he supported, focused on racial equality and homophobia at a time where both topics could be a death sentence. His writing continues to be a huge influence today, 36 years after his passing in 1987.
• Moving on.
• Arizona’s Republican-controlled state legislature passed a bill yesterday to send a controversial immigration policy to voters this November.
• Republicans hope it will galvanize conservative turnout in November. But Democrats’ characterization of the bill as the resurrection of controversial 2010 anti-illegal immigration legislation may push Latino turnout toward Democrats in the general election, too. 
• Arizona’s HCR 2060, or the “Secure The Border Act,” gives state and local law enforcement the ability to detain and deport undocumented border crossers, despite court rulings saying that power belongs to the federal government.
• Gov. Katie Hobbs opposes the policy along with most sane people of the state, and she vetoed similar legislation in March.
• I’ll ask the same thing I asked about Texas’s law: how does a cop know if a person is an immigrant by looking at them? Go ahead and list the three things about a person that tells you that have illegally immigrated without mentioning their race.
• I dare you.
• Because if you rely primarily on the color of their skin to determine if they are legal US residents, congratulations: you’re a racist piece of shit.
• Let’s move on.
• Some good news: Democratic Rep. Andy Kim won his party’s nomination for a U.S. Senate seat yesterday in New Jersey, setting up a general election contest against wealthy hotel operator Curtis Bashaw.
• Incumbent Democratic Sen. Bob Menendez will also be on the ballot after declaring his intention to run as an independent, but he’ll probably be pretty busy in court for his federal corruption trial.
• Democrats haven’t lost an election for Senate in New Jersey since 1972, and they won’t this time either.
• Not a lot to report from a number of other primary elections held yesterday.
• The number of people who are showing that they don’t really love either presidential candidate has been pretty consistent, with about 10% of voters selecting “no preference” or “uncommitted,” or selecting another low-recognition candidate over both Dump and Biden in states like Montana and New Mexico.
• That’s fine. I support people’s desire to vote with their hearts in the primaries.
• But we will soon be rallying to get our people together and focused once the primaries and conventions have finished and we start down the path toward November.
• As we get closer to the general election, I’ll be getting more granular, talking about not just the less-important presidential race but also about many Senate, House, and other down-ballot races that actually impact many of you even more.
• Let’s move on.
• I had a moment of highly enjoyable derisive laughter yesterday when people accused just-elected Mexico president Dr. Claudia Sheinbaum of not being Jewish because she made a social post thanking Jesus that read…
• “Gracias a Jesús, mi esposo, por acompañarme.”
• Um… let’s translate that.
• “Thanks to Jesus, my husband, for accompanying me.”
• Her husband’s name is Jesus, you fucking twats.
• Should we talk about the giant flying venomous spiders? I’m not sure we should.
• Okay fine.
• Joro spiders are apparently heading to the Northeast after initially infiltrating the Southeastern U.S. from Japan. 
• No, they can’t actually fly, you fools. Arachnids don’t have wings. But they can make little balloons from their silk which allow them to travel abut in the air.
• And yes, they are colored yellow and black, have four-inch limbs, and look pretty fucking scary if you’re not into spiders.
• On the bright side, perhaps, Joro spiders control insect populations because they are predatory toward other bugs. And they are not deadly to humans. If one bites you, and I hope it doesn’t, it can cause discomfort and allergic reactions in some people.
• Still… ew.
• And now, The Weather: “Setting Free” by Bay Ledges
• I’m sure you’ve heard — or felt for yourself — that heat waves are starting up early. It’s still very pleasant here in Southern California with current highs in the low 70s.
• But in a stretch from NorCal to Texas, temps are already up over 100 degrees. This does not bode well for what’s to come in the next 3-4 months.
• Stay safe, peoples.
• Let’s do a chart. It’s been a minute since we did one.
• This is the top of the Billboard Hot 100 from early June 1984. I was, at that moment, at the very end of my sophomore year of high school. That summer, my mother made me lie about my age on a legal form in order to get a job. True story.
• And I ended up buying my first synthesizer keyboard after working that summer. It was a Roland Juno-106 that I wish I still had.
• 1. Let's Hear It For The Boy (Deniece Williams). 2. Time After Time (Cyndi Lauper). 3. Hello (Lionel Richie). 4. Oh, Sherrie (Steve Perry). 5. The Reflex (Duran Duran). 6. Sister Christian (Night Ranger). 7. Against All Odds (Take A Look At Me Now) (Phil Collins). 8. The Heart Of Rock & Roll (Huey Lewis & The News). 9. Breakdance (Irene Cara). 10. To All The Girls I've Loved Before (Julio Iglesias And Willie Nelson). 11. Self Control (Laura Branigan). 12. Borderline  (Madonna). 13. I'll Wait (Van Halen). 14. Jump (for My Love) (The Pointer Sisters). 15. The Longest Time (Billy Joel). 16. It's A Miracle (Culture Club). 17. Dancing In The Sheets (Shalamar). 18. Dancing In The Dark (Bruce Springsteen). 19. Head Over Heels (Go-Go’s). 20. You Can't Get What You Want (Joe Jackson)
• From the Sports Desk… with a short break before the finals in both the NBA and NHL, let’s look at who’s leading baseball right now.
• American League: Yankees (43-19), Guardians (40-20), Orioles (39-20), Royals (36-36), and Mariners (35-27).
• National League: Phillies (43-19), Dodgers (38-24), brewers (36-25), Braves (34-24), and Padres (32-32).
• Today in history… The Qing dynasty Manchu forces led by the Shunzhi Emperor take Beijing during the collapse of the Ming dynasty (1644). Houston is incorporated by the Republic of Texas (1837). Harriet Beecher Stowe's anti-slavery serial, Uncle Tom's Cabin, starts a ten-month run in the National Era abolitionist newspaper (1851). Denmark amends its constitution to allow women's suffrage (1915). Louis Brandeis is sworn in as a Justice of the United States Supreme Court, the first American Jew to hold such a position (1916). In a speech at Harvard University, the United States Secretary of State George Marshall calls for economic aid to war-torn Europe, aka the Marshall Plan (1947). Elvis Presley introduces his new single, "Hound Dog", on ‘The Milton Berle Show’, scandalizing the audience with his suggestive hip movements (1956). Presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy is assassinated by Sirhan Sirhan (1968). The ‘Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report’ of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reports that five people in Los Angeles, CA, have a rare form of pneumonia seen only in patients with weakened immune systems, in what turns out to be the first recognized cases of AIDS (1981). The Tank Man halts the progress of a column of advancing tanks for over half an hour after the Tiananmen Square protests of 1989 (1989). The Bose–Einstein condensate is first created (1995). Montenegro becomes the 29th member of NATO (2017).
• June 5 is the birthday of Mexican general/politician Pancho Villa (1878), economist John Maynard Keynes (1883), shoe designer Salvatore Ferragamo (1898), physicist Dennis Gabor (1900), author/illustrator Richard Scarry (1919), journalist Bill Moyers (1934), Canadian prime minister Joe Clark (1939), singer-songwriter Laurie Anderson (1947), saxophonist Kenny G (1956), actor Jeff Garlin (1962), astronomer Michael E. Brown (1965), actor Ron Livingston (1967), NHL player Martin Gélinas (1970), actor/rapper Mark Wahlberg (1971), NBA player Zydrunas Ilgauskas (1975), actor Nick Kroll (1978), singer-songwriter/bass player Pete Wentz (1979), and NFL player Sam Darnold (1997).

That’s enough news for now, and it’s time for me to go workout, and then have what will likely be a pretty busy work day. That’s fine; it’s normal. I’m cool with normal. Oh, and I did a show last night so at some point, I hope to find time to write about that too. Enjoy your day.